0:00 your shoe your roof shoe the roof your 1955 BMW I it's [Music] me okay I thought we could talk about this because it's actually really important but we are going to discuss what are some early morning signs that a guy is going to become abusive and uh Jess for this one you're going to always disagree and tell us why it's actually sexy what he okay all right so uh here's some of the things one of them is that he keeps close tabs on you at all times damn it's kind of like a thing that once you start seeing that it's a bad sign you mean he cares oh she's already good at this God damn she went right in all right like
0:52 the guy will be like hey you got to have your phone on you all the times why was it on silent why didn't you pick up once those things start getting pretty bad uh Studies have shown that that guy ends up becoming pretty abusive studies aren't wrong but what is abusive number two is that he issues ultimatums and I thought that was a really good one where he's like it's either this way or nothing at all like that's always a bad important to have standards I think my way my way what do you think of that are you that kind of way are you like it's got to be my way or no way at all no hell no I'm totally obvious you want to move to Florida and I was like ████ bet I'm move to Florida definitely the opposite but of course you know honestly I think it should be fair
1:42 right yeah you know what I'm saying that's that's me so I don't know I don't think I'm abusive and definitely that sounds crazy we'll find out at the end of this if you're abusive don't worry like a magazine are you abusive yeah people says this one I thought was interesting too number three is that he finds ways to keep you away from your family which I've never done that but I've heard of that yeah I've heard of like isolation tactics being a thing he's your family now we are family I love the demeanor which she she's she's scary good yeah it's funny cuz I believe when I'm in a relationship I'm trying to find time for myself for the most part oh really yeah it's like it's it's weird that you want her around all the time versus trying to find space for yourself trying to balance it out have a little of everything you're controlling so if you if you're around her all the time then
2:32 you can control if you're around don't you love this person don't you want to be around them 24/7 wow it's pretty good point Jess yeah who else are you going to be around along that same line number four is that he separates you from your friends which happens a lot for early on set abusive dudes it's cuz he knows what's best if we have s█████ friends then yeah but he's looking out for each he is he we're all being about me so much yeah it's like one of those things where uh I don't like that's that's something I've seen a lot in life and I think I did that a little like when I first started dating and I got really jealous about not being able to like to feel like oh my girls got to go have fun without me and like it would make you like jealous and ████ but I think that's another level when you actually start to really
3:22 try to build walls that's crazy that's a cuckoo guy that's lame yeah number five I didn't I've never heard of this but it says he he'll make a reason for you to quit your job this is so true really that quit your job one has that happened for you quit your job job well because it was uh he wants you to be more dependent on him so if you don't have job you don't have finances you don't have yeah you need him exactly why are you independent yeah and also it becomes like well I'll be the bread winner I'll take care of you oh you're unhappy let me take care of you honey don't worry babe I got you in this economy well you're figuring it out like we'll figure it out together don't worry just so he can say I paid a bill yeah it's so yeah later on
4:12 in his fight hot he can be like I took care of and you I was here when I you were not had no one well I had no one cuz you didn't have me have anyone your shoe your roof your shoe the roof you for one shoe BM you're 1955 BMW I it's me 195 who else is going to take care of that for you yes yeah you're shoe your Sho I like the one shoe you nothing without me that's that he does that just so he can say all that yeah that they can jingle did any of you actually have that did you have that conversation where some a guy who D was kind of suggesting that I had a relationship what was your what was your response to that cu you worked so hard to like get where I broke up with him
5:02 and moved out through my ████ in storage damn I moved to California wow yeah it was a WRA yeah yeah M they deserve better dude do these guys show these signs with like their other relationships other than the Romantic relationships or is it just the r no because I had a friend who knew him and he was the one that vouched for him but also keep in mind like how he interacts in a close relationship that he's building romantically is going to be much different than him with his friends bues well yeah I mean there's not going to be a crossover there so right you're just not going to know so the guy my friend who is vouching for him at the time he was Ving for the guy that he knew as just a friend yeah as a homie of course yeah I agree the guys
5:53 that I've met that have been really controlling don't have that controlling aspect as friends at all at all it's the difference between friend love and real love okay true love hor horrible here's the thing that I this is a new one I didn't know about but apparently sleep deprivation what like they don't let you sleep they're like have ████ yeah yeah yeah up all night it says that um it says that it's been proven that sleep deprivation is a very effective method of torture and he'll find a reason to wake you up or keep you awake until you're like a blubbering mess maybe it's a way to maybe it's a way to like win arguments you know like when you're arguing all night and the person's like I just want to go to sleep and they just don't let you what's next bamboo on your nails like my God guys I know I do that love love his torture and you know it's
6:43 not you know what he just wants to spend time with you this is your fault you gave her this job was up all night talking hey Ryan I do that g you just s what do you mean no why I don't let her sleep why cuz she can't go to sleep mad oh so you you're you're is to is to figure it out before anybody goes to bed I just want her to sleep happy you feel like there true to that like not going to sleep yes oh yeah cuz she's going to wake up like you know what I was thinking I was like ████ or she's going to have a dream like baby you dream cheated on me I'm pissed I just want ████ coffee like what do you want for coffee Instead This is what I'm thinking last night what happened to you know what else you know what's funny I don't want to start my morning like that absolutely true it's um yeah I
7:34 guess what what used to mess with me is like I think growing up I was like that too where I was like no we got to like fix this and then I I think I dated different people that weren't like that that were like no I I I'll feel better after I have a good night's rest and then it was true for them I think you just have to find the person that is your style cuz some people are one or the other and if those Clash that's bad bad we we we r as sleep like this you know what I mean and then you're like it's too hot rather than what what's the other way but to I want the butt kisses that's how I like to sleep yeah the butt kisses you touching me stop touching me yeah fck sleep in separate beds a secret to a lasting relationship this one says monitoring food intake that's wild what hey there's
8:25 somebody out there probably going through that right now is that common this dude should be I guess you could technically see in positive and negative way for sure what's the positives positive way is like hey baby I'm looking out you trying to make you healthy like if the girl ever told me like um I thought this was her job like you know like hey if I ever get too fat kill me I'm like oh ████ kill me no no that's what I'm saying you're be like what the ████ I don't want to do any of that so hey babe maybe watch out how you eat you know what I mean just in case they just want the best for you right and then the negative way OB I don't know the negative way you know what I mean like probably like I never I never heard of the abusive part so you say there's no negative to that no no not at all it's like especially if they overfeed you and they're just always there like you overfeed you it's just
9:15 like like a pet no one's ever going to want you no one is ever going to love you like I love you and they just trying to Handel and grle fatten them up and stew them over feed you well just make yeah nice I mean I could see that part now the negative is just trying to think that's a nice thing overfeed them and take your Cofe no no no no what what you were saying like that that negative part the abusive part yeah I was saying this one this one I this is like the last one of the list and this one really like I think I used to see this one a lot is disparaging something you love oh yes when you're talking about something that you enjoy that maybe is not part of their world and they immediately shut it down or they kind of uh downplay it they're like that's not that cool I think that's a really like messed up way to like inch your way into that yeah and I don't think that necessarily ever gets
10:06 better like I think people with that attitude kind of have I think that's just you and a you're just a like you're an angry person inside then and you want to make them miserable with you think maybe they're challenging you and they just want to make sure you're not lame you know maybe you kind of suck as a person and they're giving you new opportunities to I don't know that's really s█████ though to do that she's like I can't even continue this what the ████ why are you with that person that sounds like that guy doesn't even like you like I me he just bored that you're just a game at this point he's like this is just my play thing literally billions of people in the world why would you be you don't like them why make that like that's such a narcissistic thing like you went into all what would you say if like you were let's say you're like editing a big job right and then you're working and then your dude who you love comes over and it's just like what are you doing isn't
10:58 it already don't you just have to put it in order but like yeah why don't you show me like downplaying your important thing you're doing or if you're like if you're if you're doing camera work and he's like doesn't it have autofocus I like ████ you're so right I was Emanual this whole time I just agree with him and that just diffuses everything that probably will work yeah you play that work like you think negging someone's passions is like a could lead to positives I think if it's done in a joking way I think it's funny if it's in a joking way that's gold as long as it's funny it's okay like anything yeah anything any form of abuse if it's done well with the right comedic timing it works right it works I think that's where we all agree yeah that's where stand up funny it's okay as long as it's funny to one person
11:50 laugh and that person's yourself
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