0:00 [Music] imagine hating your family [Laughter] i like how you like look at me just like i know you love your family is that a long ways from how you feel no not really i like my family yeah they're fine there's a lot of people that hate their family imagine hating your family imagine your family tell me more i don't know well how to what degree like to the degree that there was a man who wanted to escape his family and has lived in an airport for 14 years wow why is this this is the terminal it's a terminal guy but not not uh uh not castaway no no there's an there's the original terminal guy the ████ saudi arabian dude no no this is a chinese man um another terminal guy what do he why i think well for 14 years he's lived in terminal for
0:50 14 years what airport is this this is in china okay china airport china this is the beijing capital international airport i've been there okay he wanted to escape there he wanted to escape his family and go there and he uh has never returned back to his family after 14 years what a dick his name is a chinese man in his 60s now and he's lived at the airport's terminal 2. since 2008 how's that even possible wow you think he saw the terminal the movie and then he goes that's a good idea did that come out in 2008 no earlier than it's like 2004 yeah then yes he was definitely inspired he was inspired man so this guy this this is his reason for leaving his reason for leaving is that he wanted to smoke and drink without his family bothering him when the when the airport had no more smoking he was like ████ like you
1:41 shouldn't smoke he just ████ moved to a different place just smoke outside yeah oh hi family comes down to him about that that's the real deal yeah he literally said that i can't go back home because i have no freedom there my family told me if i wanted to stay i had to quit smoking and drinking imagine being okay but here's the other half of it imagine being so addicted to smoking and drinking that you could give up your entire family which means you're not addicted to your family you know that's pretty much all of skid row well doesn't it true doesn't his family ever go to the airport they're like that one goes to hong kong we never go to that one that terminal's empty and nobody's they're all why go to hong kong it's still china because like i don't know how it works over there compared to here but you can't leave without buying another ticket or some ████ yeah i would assume
2:31 that uh he wasn't buying tickets all the time i would assume that like there might be pockets that are outside the gateways that he probably just stayed in as well but i don't ████ know it's not i can't imagine not going outside like at all yeah well this guy can this guy said like i said my family told me if i wanted to have to quit smoking and drinking if i couldn't do that i had to give them all my monthly government allowance of 1 000 yuan which is about i don't know 200 anyways but then he says but then how would i buy my cigarettes that's a valid question for any crazy ass person like he's telling a journalist this like everyone knows he's like how would i do that huh you explain that to me yeah how do you get yourself how do you get your sister playing that smart news guy yeah and he explains that uh he decided to give up looking for work as
3:21 after he was laid off in his 40s he struggled to keep a new job because of being too old so he doesn't want to work he could just be an airport janitor yeah dude he could just literally clean up the trash around him get paid for his own sleep it's pretty common for forced retirement at 50. i got um basically jacked by a gang of senior citizens in china and my friend's mom was explaining to me that there's a lot of desolate old dudes that just ████ can't work because there's you know there's a lot of labor there how did you get jacked so um me and my buddy were trying to go see the ████ great wall of china and um this guy was like hop in the back of my ████ donkey cart you know like we'll take you yeah and then i'll i don't know he speaks chinese so we rolled and then we were stopping by statues taking pictures and we went
4:11 to a village and then we stopped at the village and then um he's like all right the tour's over and then they start arguing and i'm like oh ████ this doesn't look good right i don't know what the ████ is going on i'm like what's going on he goes he pulled out this laminated sheet of a price list and it was like special tour of the forbidden city 2 000 us dollars it was just outrageous it added up to being like 14 000 or something and i'm like exactly i'm like nah bro you don't even know how much u.s dollars are this guy's making up numbers so great good people retire on this one he calls his dad he's like this is my last job why is he stephen cigar i'm out of the business getting out after this one i promise my last one so so they're arguing in mandarin i don't know what the ████ is going on so i'm like i know something's fishy here this seems like a
5:01 con man and then like thank god when i travel like i always have a dummy wallet with a little bit of money my real money's elsewhere so you're trying to fake out the people who rob you that's smart you gotta man cause i don't know this area you know so like i could kick up a store i opened up my wallet i'm like look and i grabbed the money ████ chucked it at him and then i'm like it has nothing that's that's everything i got you know and then so obviously they took money from my friend but the funny thing is like while they're arguing right i notice his backup coming and i look around and it's literally the senior citizen of the village just surrounding us and it's just all old people and i'm like this is a gang of like asian grandpas and dads and none of them look tough everybody looks like i could just destroy them but i'm like a scorpion with 50 ants you know i'm like
5:52 what am i gonna do like and i was just like this is crazy we are literally right now getting mugged by cute little senior citizens you know you should have done tell me you're gonna go get a theater degree and they're like oh no no no oh no bachelor's of fine arts i have a heart attack liberal studies no doctor i [Laughter] when i get back to the states we tell my friend you know his mom knows what happened and she goes yeah like right you know in china there's like uh this was in like what 2005 or some ████ right she's like they're all dead by now like for sure probably but there's like
6:42 forced retirement there's like all these you know labor ████ human rights ████ up ████ because they have just so many people and if you're too old they're just like we don't need you at our company buddy we got someone younger stronger better to do it and so you just have like all these old folks that need some kind of help and then they turn a crime and they they turn to mugging tourists dude it was the oddest ████ ever such a very very gentle mugging it was a gentle con but at the same time i was mind blown and then the audacity was they left being pissed that we didn't have enough money and they felt cheated because we couldn't pay the bill that's like have you guys watched a lot of the scammer payback videos on youtube i love those like the ones online like where he like hacks their computer while he's talking to him he's like i just deleted your entire database like what you put it back they get all like mad at them i'm pissed about it that they can't do the little
7:33 crime did i love it when they turn on the ████ webcam and it's like oh that's a nice like wallpaper you got back there he's like yeah you're already on camera dude what do you think's gonna happen now good man i love it when they start cussing at them you ████ ████ ████ you ████ no ████ that's why whenever those scammers call me kick my dog the first thing i say like it's like it's like it's it's not even hello right i already know because it's a scammer i'm just like ████ you you scammer ████ and then me like you little ████ i will ████ kill you it's like yeah dude you work at nasa for sure you know my dad got a call that i don't know if any of you guys have got this scam but he got the call where they say that you're like daughters being held hostage so like the this dude calls my dad picks up and my dad's a ████ he's just like a dick he like for fun he puts on a speaker the guy's like i have your
8:24 doctor we're going to kill her unless you pay this money my dad goes kill her do it go ahead do it i hate her kill her doing a fade me a favor send me a ████ mp4 of it not an mov file don't you send me that move you don't have a goddammit i'm on android i really had a girl okay oh and they call the wrong number and your dad's like doing they're like okay i'm gonna have to do it he doesn't want you he sees it on the news later that day oops and then the terrorists were like that was the wrong number [Laughter] my dad would go oops how did they play him off so you're actually right uh there was another dude uh so this chinese dude wade doesn't have the longest tenure living at an airport there was a turkish
9:15 man oh he's turkey leave it to the turkish to always is that what the true story is so you know the movie terminal it's based off of this guy yeah he moved to ataturk airport in 1991 for similar reasons to that of ways and he lived there for 27 years oh my god before the airport closed in 29th oh my god and he now lives in sabiha goxson airport oh wait no that's not the guy there's another guy right he got stuck in between because his like country like fell apart or whatever in between it was it was i oh he was iranian that's what it was and um it was it was in london or paris it's one of those it's europe it's europe because he claimed that his mother was uh from england and that he needed to get to her but then the more the journalists dug they realized that he created this elaborate lie oh no yeah
10:05 and he purposely lost a lot of documents and things like that and um man it's it's but that's where the movie terminal is based off of this guy's life he would eat me mcdonald's every ████ day and then he had a little corner and that was a terminal man yeah wow yeah she's nuts yeah and then so he they would try to send them to his destination when he got there since he didn't have the documentation i would send him back exactly you know when i'm on the airplane and the the stewardess is like you know i just landed in l.a and she's like no you want to hang on and we're going to be going to colorado and i'm just like man their days are crazy like they wake up in orlando yeah they maybe go to bed in denver after going like four cities yeah there's like a period of time that they can't work afterwards i was talking to like one of the attendants i forget what there's like a turnover period where once you land or whatever like you can't
10:55 you're not allowed to work for like x amount of hours until you rest until you get on the next flight or whatever so that they avoid like overworking them i guess i don't know how well that works in per like in practice but he was saying like yeah like i think it was a hawaiian flight and i was like oh how is this because it's like a six hour flight you know back and forth he's like oh yeah when i get there like the law is that i have to like rest for x amount of you know hours before i can book before they'll schedule me he has to attend every luau authentic luau you have to stand on sit on the beach coconut boobs okay [Music] [Applause] [Music]
11:46 you
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