0:00 [Music] welcome back to care for boys we are very very very careful boys very careful so careful we want to balance the scales that's right and today we are going to talk about a couple things two things okay number one we're gonna put the last argument that you had with your so the ████ is that your significant other oh okay or your superior officer authorization okay guys superior officer it might be the same okay it's 2003 i am not even deployed i thought it was search optimization we took the engine out at ceo now it's the sexual offer oh let's just talk about what sl could stand for no or you remember the last fight i had like bad ones bad ████ bad fight oh man we haven't had a bad fan a long time you're so ████
0:50 perfect dude no no i'm serious after we did ecstasy like three days straight for trying to really fix our relationship um we've got to understand each other really really well that everything is diffused in like under two minutes now so the moral of the story is go to raves the amount of empathy that we have that we understand where where things are going it's uh yeah we haven't had one yeah when you guys are like two minutes in because you guys will dissipate it fast right yeah when you're two minutes into you just pop ecstasy what are we fighting about again oh my god i'm so sorry i love you i want to feel this blanket whoa this blanket's crazy what kind of material's a shirt oh my god you guys put the ████ lights on and ████ it's oh ████ you guys do live i've never done exercise i have a lot of veins
1:42 i remember after uh after i got well i didn't we didn't do ecstasy but after we got married me and my lady did mushrooms that was really ████ cool what was on the beach like did you guys understand each other better no well it just brushed you guys closer she had her own like trip and i just remember like she was just kind of like staring off and she just was like kind of happy crying a little bit for like like two hours bro just sitting by herself just in this the life is just so nice and beautiful yeah she was thinking about like you know like the way i think the good thing about mushrooms from her perspective and my perspective was it just helps you kind of look at a certain issue that you might be thinking about that might be on your mind just from a different perspective and it might kind of help you just feel a little bit better about it or just look at it a certain way and just you know compartmentalize how you feel about it you know psychedelics are first your wife turns into a giraffe you
2:33 understand her better yeah yeah but maybe we should try some ecstasy have you never you might start really liking trance i'm out dude i'm good i'm good i'm surprised you're a fitness dude that doesn't listen to electronica nah dude i don't like electronic using the hell of joe rogan though not not in much anymore i don't even listen to joe rogan how much i've been listening to lex friedman a lot i like him lexus though he's so dope dude i love how soft and slow he speaks because it makes everyone else like chill the ████ out around him yeah yeah it's pretty entertaining hearing him he's like he's like i like to talk about life love literature happiness and freedom and it's like okay sure and robotics is that dude you already said he was talking about the uh the the dog from boston dynamics and he goes when i met that the robot dogs oh he goes i fell in love
3:23 and i was like really when you saw that ████ weird dog that robot dog it made you like fall like because it makes me feel scared but he definitely sees it from a completely different perspective obviously because he understands it way better than i could ever yeah he's smart we're ████ apes yeah dude and he but he's just like yeah you know i just fell in love and i just made me very passionate about robots yeah we're still falling in love with regular dogs [Laughter] i kind of feel them because i saw this one um picture of a sex doll and i was like wow that looks human i think i'm in love just just starting like what was the last time you had a fight with your significant other i remember when i fell in love with a sex doll that was the last fight ran out of batteries and stopped sucking my dick i was like get the ████ off me
4:16 what about even though a fight you guys had i for sure had a fight but i don't remember what it was and it and it just goes away so it's recent because last week this is the i think this is the first relationship where fights dissipate like almost immediately as they happen and then like it's like a full reset button where it never even happened that's dope is it because of uh is it because of you guys or you think it's because of like the way you guys understand each other like the dynamics because hannah um how should i say bends so far to my will that i don't have to change at all as a human being and she changed herself completely not just kidding what happens when you find a ████ who loves greece the musical yeah because that's
5:06 the musical that's what teaches them it's literally about how you have to change for your man because think about what sandra did right right she completely won it put on the letters dude she's like i ████ bad boys now i think it's one of those things where um both of us right time right place kind of thing where it's like we learned our mistakes from other relationships so like and then ultimately i don't get the feeling of like um they're trying to win for ego or she's trying to win i'm trying to we're just trying to figure out the ████ problem and then it's like what happened and then we both are more so aligned with how we think individuals should be responsible for working out their own ████ not like not like blaming the other person for the issues that they have that's a big key so then yeah so then it's like going back and looking at wait where did i
5:56 ████ up what did i do wrong oh i could have done that better and then when you hear that from the other person where you're both parties are just like yeah dad could have ████ done that better i ████ up there yeah it makes you go on um what do you call it you're not so defensive it diffuses the situation you're both now competing over no no no that was cool no no that was cool and then you know you know what's cool that one time we were hanging out um and we were talking about this when we went to go eat the the lobster foot that didn't have the lobster foam ████ district one yeah but we're we're talking about this and we went home me and joe were talking and we're like and we've been together so long that we it feels like we've had like three or four relationships in the same one yeah like there's phases where we did have the super honeymoon like year or two right then we had the phase where we're
6:46 fighting ████ every day and then there's the other phase where it's like we kind of and we grew as people throughout so it's weird to like be able to look back in one relationship and go holy ████ i think that was actually like three or four yeah you know and then i think about like how parents that have stayed together for like decades i'm like man they must be like oh ████ we've had like 10 relationships because people keep growing and changing and they have to grow and change together too 100 that for me um that's actually kind of beautiful this morning me and nicki woke up together and she was topless was super sick that's always beautiful when you roll over and you're like titties i ████ love it my ten-year-old self dreamed of this i can't believe
7:48 i think she'll like it she loves horse races so so so then uh yeah we were just you know it was like uh one of those cool things where i was like i was cuddling her and so she's like i love catalin and stuff and then i was just like checking this love you so much i was like so much i was like and we just did the like well i love you more than i've ever loved you think because it really just we i feel like we have grown together a lot and even though we did get into an argument like on monday because anthony was uh a ████ ████ probably she's been a ████ so anthony was on our podcast last night and i was talking about this where it was true like it's and it sounds funny in the moment but in the moment because i don't i like like when she tells me to do something i like to try to ████ nail it right and so she's like hey can you get me like this almond creamer for coffee you get the wrong ████ at the market dude how long have i been doing this you guys know me i've been doing this for ████ ever i ████ it up every single
8:39 screenshot incentive or something well that's so that's the whole thing right it's like the perfect wrong stuff though she's saying it's like if you she's he's gotta go get like like non-fat ultimate he's gonna get like sweetened vanilla like something like it's like the perfect opposite how is it completely off curious how he's shocked like does he just go that one i told him i was like i bet he's because he's ████ in the eye looking at that ████ block he's exactly right by the way he's exactly right and he's like ah that's ketchup it was that and i was putting my coffee it was that and i was circling this entity that i've been watching that was finally coming to me and price and i was like i was like okay this is gonna be juicy and then and then i'm there and i'm like oh yeah i have to get wait what the ████ am i getting and i was like oh yeah i know what i'm getting i'm getting oat milk ████ and then i ████ put it i put it thinking ████ and i stuck the landing and like
9:29 it's like this and i'm in front of the olympia the olympic committee and they're all going 10 10 ████ and he's yelling at everyone in the market he's like i got oat milk ████ you're my wife i'm like ████ idiots ████ suck it ████ and then i get home and she's like oh how how how how how does she at least make use of that or you have to take it back no she's like take it back with no room in the ████ fridge because we all was catering from new york today's video is brought to you by curology all right guys this is some serious stuff we are in las vegas which means it is very very dry and i know everyone out there is like you know skincare stuff that's for girls man and i'm like where have you been dude girls want a guy with smooth beautiful skin so if you're out there partying playing at the casinos and you're here single ready to
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11:10 with curology today for a free 30-day trial all you have to do is go to curology c-u-r-o-l-o-g-o-y.com off the record for a free 30-day trial get yourself nice and moisturized all you have to do is pay five bucks for shipping and handling and that's it you can take the quiz and get a custom formula just for you that's curology.com off the record that's curology.com off the record to start your free 30-day trial all you have to do is pay five bucks for the shipping and handling you can cancel anytime and your prescription is subject to the consultation i'm staying at a spot right and then apparently uh she tells me to go get like the mail or some ████ and it's like a new house she doesn't know what the mailbox is right i've never seen it before right so he calls me that's a ████ woman's job because she doesn't have her phone next to her because i'm talking to her i'm just chilling with her in the kitchen it's a big house she can't hear from he calls me and the next thing you
12:00 know i'm the middle man in them arguing with each other and they're yelling and they're cussing and they're yelling and i'm here and i'm finally i'm like this is so wild i put on speaker now they're cussing and yelling at each other and i'm just there holding a phone like watching them argue and she's like you ████ dumbass you don't ████ know the man call me ████ face dumb ass ████ dumb ████ i'm sitting here like if they ████ didn't know you dude they would think your relationship is so tight the best it's the best well that this is how it it's like we're flirting right yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah people don't get it like that's how they get horny it's like schoolyard type ████ yeah it's fun but and she and she when she came up she comes out to check the mailbox and she's like where the ████ is this dumb ████ and then i'm like where's the stupid kind oh look i'm at the right mailbox oh look the keynote isn't going should you
12:50 try the other game like oh yeah i think it's completely wrong completely wrong but he for sure nailed the right end of t that morning at the drop yeah so all of his right moves are being channeled in the wrong places in the relationship still winning somewhere yeah it's like it's like you know you run out of luck right so like steve uses all his energy to be right on crypto yeah and everything else he ████ is to his defense two things crypto and colt stats what's called stats thank you i mean indianapolis i was like that was like cold stone football in general yes but yes i love football so yeah football and crypto but when it comes to raiders smoking all that ████ when it comes to the grocery store doing errands no ████ bro it's all
13:41 spent yeah but i try my ass off at it but i'm like i just get distracted and then i don't think about it do you make lists when you go to the supermarket i do if it's above three i can't ████ remember anything they think now if you give me more if you give me four things to do i'm gonna miss at least i gotta write it down bro i gotta write it up you know what i think ████ people up being in relationships when you're when i be when i was single again i did every ████ thing by myself that there was no like oh i could throw this off and it'll be done okay red pill maggie guy i'm wearing the right ████ hat of this ████ did you have to wear that for this we don't need ████ no the thing is this though it's when you're sharing a life it's not about doing the thing it's about how it's done yeah and that's the part that you ████ up what do you mean yeah so for example like he got the oat milk though so i'm just saying i took it
14:31 back i made it right i don't think it's a woman's job but but go ahead this is an imaginary imaginary scenario that um this is imaginary scenario because this never happened but it'll be stuff like this so geo likes ████ fancy coffee right because her homie center coffee so she has a ████ coffee burner thing yeah um i like cheap ass coffee that like ████ grandmas like you just put a spoonful of water and mix it around so if jill's like hey can you make me some coffee i'm like sure i'll go downstairs and i'll make coffee and the coffee is a morning theme for people but if i come up it's gonna be the wrong coffee so we're both hitting coffee we're both cleaning the bathroom or we're both doing the laundry but how it's done it's not the way that it's supposed to be done at least based off her that's where you guys ████ up dude that's why ████ are crazy though cause ████ are ████ crazy you didn't ████ up what hold on let me be wrong you know where i didn't ████ up
15:22 all right with someone outside of this country so you guys have that exactly just like my ████ hero you get some you gotta you get a young girl scandinavian you get a young girl from a porcupine a young girl from a poor country that you rescue their standards are extremely low right so then like dude she's from a little island she doesn't have anything that we do in america right so she's she's here from this poor little island called wales and then um or landon or some ████ like that i don't know but like ████ they speak english weird with the ████ weird action they speak it wrong like so anything i give her she's like oh my god thank you this is like this is so wealthy you know that's that in five years though it might change because it's going to because i got with the border hopper myself and the first two or three years they're
16:12 like oh sire this is a wonderful life you've brought but then once they get accustomed then all of a sudden they think they're equal oh my god it's when they get citizenship it's when they get citizenship that's why we gotta ████ keep them out yeah but you know what i'm always like don't talk to me like that ████ you're only half white but you know what it's a new time it's a new era and i think we should be working to just playing in the room just playing in the room i guess and that's why we need steve back that's why we need steve back what's the last time you had a fight ████ a sex however yeah this one you know this ████ was like you know she says that you thought i was ████ she said that i was perfect for the first three years of feed again that's right yo that's some off camera ████ dog
17:08 but that falls into why we think you're such a sex hammer dude none of us none of us got that privilege so wag your fight's probably going to get physically properly you probably leak pre-cum before it's even hard too yeah it's just ████ that's ideal by the way that's ideal yeah i think bar i think bart ████ bad guys like i don't think this guy has no pre-cub precumbert's like okay what's the best example of ████ oh dude you're basically coming already before you even put it in i'm so lost i don't even know how to bring this back you know what because most most people i'm a bio major i know these things right yeah i do most people their girls can't wait to talk ████ to them after the uh uh two months of being with them okay and then you get a whole three years yeah okay so the context is i was secretly talking to my friends in a van not thinking it was gonna be on camera eventually you said this is not for camera conversations you didn't say
17:58 that you sex happened the point is i was talking about i was talking about how uh nina said something to me a couple weeks ago that was both like the most amazing compliment and a most wondrous slap in the face that i've ever heard before how's that a slap is it a slap in the face though i think it's the how she says it's hilarious no it's not what she said she had her hand cocked about a punch in her face she actually slapped me face um but she was like you know what when we were dating like for the first three years i thought you were perfect i see that's why it's hilarious because it's like but now i know the real ████ answer for sure but i i would give a credit to i think uh um i was barely around right like you guys know even with jk but you know it's like i was traveling all the time i was never at home for more than like three weeks at a time so the key to a relationship is be absent yeah don't be around the distance make the hard
18:49 girl funny thing like it's real like we would we would like sometimes even get in like a mini argument and sometimes i would even like fly across the world thinking like i don't know where this is going and then like two weeks when you're by yourself in some random obscure country and you're just like chilling in your hotel room and you're like done jacking off because the internet wi-fi sucks and you're like i miss her damn that's d you know what i mean and then like that distance so every single time i felt like for the first first couple years aka like three years of our lives i feel like we were constantly just dating like just starting off so it was almost like this like like honeymoon phase that just kept on pausing itself coming back and starting fresh we would never be able to get sick each other because by the time uh we maybe would normally almost get to each other it's like i already know i'm leaving in a week so everything feels like we should cherish our time so we had this really really unique thing because i was constantly gone and then i think uh you're exercising that
19:40 healing muscle frequently yeah but but once she like moved in with me that's when i think she saw the real me i'm gonna kick hannah back to ████ her [Applause] he's going to take her back himself have you had a recent fight i think um it's weird it's it's hard to understand or pinpoint just kind of like what joe's saying it's hard to pinpoint the exact topics of what we're thinking nothing stood out yet yeah but i feel like i understand and remember the feelings of like what we're arguing about i think one of the complicated things is just being in a totally different like life space right so like for her who's obviously brilliant super accomplished right she just finished grad school and
20:30 got her doctorate's degree in occupational therapy and stuff which is amazing but for myself like i right out of college i already started working and failing at ████ and trying different things and building businesses and all that stuff so just the way i see and think and operate about things is just just different and it's not it's not a matter of better or worse it's literally just different so like trying to find that balance different phases of life yeah you know i don't understand truly what she's going through she doesn't truly fully understand we just kind of witness and respect each other and try to empathize but yeah i think any time you don't fully understand and you're trying to like you know you don't convince each other who has a harder oppression olympics is always a good fight in my household the best way to help your relationship it's the best it's the best you always got to be the victim because like why you know how else you're going to win but ultimately i think it's just trying to for me trying to like respect her decision i look at her ████ i'm like you're going to school and
21:20 you're getting like two hundred thousand dollars in debt like with your school loans i don't ████ i don't understand that but i gotta respect it so she wants to do yeah you're gonna pay it off so that's fine yeah but you know it just changes the way you think about stuff because you're not thinking for yourself anymore you're thinking about how how the family is going to make it and it just changes stuff you guys as a unit moving forward trying to like get through those things even if you've never done that before or they haven't experienced it it's just a challenging thing you know if i was gay i would want you to be my boyfriend same i still think it's impressive you gave three years of perfection yes you know that's pretty important one and a half years i technically wasn't around you know three years of perfection that's why you're such a sex average dude you proved it you proved it what about ryan uh the last time we had an argument yeah was uh it was building the studios why because she's like i want to do it this way
22:14 the brit dude the brit that right here she's australian mate is that australia that's not like brett to be dude they might no we have to do it this way man don't do it is that one of those over it's uh it's it literally is that thing you said where it's just how to do the thing it's like it doesn't ████ matter we're fighting about our different methods and it's like it's something ████ really simple like putting up a wall or something it's just we both have a different way in our head that it works but we both ████ don't know how to do it but we're both trying to figure out how to do it separately science chicks need to tell us how to do it i'm like just let me do it yeah and then she's like well you do it wrong and i'm like well i do it there's certain jobs and it's not that's the rule it's not
23:04 what you do it's how you do it yeah it really is a thing of where you just have a method in your head even if you don't know how to ████ do it like you just have a way of logically putting the pieces together and then they got away too and if you don't discuss that it's why you lost it though logic the second you put logic in they're not speaking the same way it's like when they want when they want to tell you something and i know this is a trope but it just really is true too when the chicks want to tell you something and they're like i just want you to listen don't give me your ████ input you stupid piece of ████ you don't want to hear it that's us when we're building ████ it's so hard to withhold though because i want to just be like wow didn't do that huh what are you trying to help right that's right you tried they don't want that just listen to me i do appreciate the preface though because then then i can at least try to hold it i don't always get the breakfast my friend preface is so important because you got to understand when you
23:54 have to turn yourself off sometimes it's not even about you because if they're like i'm just going to bet that i'm like okay cool i don't solve ████ you feel like you have to fix something oh cool i don't have to work on myself i just have to hear you yeah yeah yeah he's slowly falling asleep ████ screensaver box i'm sorry barton turns into a plug-in halloween decoration uh-huh yeah yeah this is bart he's like this and he just goes yeah yeah that is bart that's aboard at 7 15 tonight we're all at his house and we're hanging out and bart's like that's a good story and he turns off all the lights he goes to sleep well people are still talking he starts turning up pizza just gets delivered they're talking in the dark mark comes back downstairs hey can you
24:44 guys be quiet tiger's trying to sleep he's like no you're trying to sleep tuck is right here ████ i just played with his truck dude [Music] [Applause] [Music] you
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