0:00 So, I have a friend, not going to say who. They're in a recently new relationship and they just can't stop calling each other babe and baby and it just feels fake. >> Maybe cuz we're 40. >> I think that's why >> cuz that's something you do when you're like even up until 30. >> Yeah. I just think that the the pet name for them needs to evolve and it hasn't yet and it just comes across as cringe and it just comes across as fake. >> Do you have one? Uh, with Nikki, I call her kid. >> So, how long you been doing it for? Are you pedophile? [laughter] >> Uh, I've been doing that the whole time. >> Does it make you feel like a like a cowboy or >> Makes me feel like a real Makes me feel like a real daddy? >> Makes me feel like a real daddy. >> No, I call her kid. I call her um kiddo. I call her [laughter] um >> Why is it all children? >> Baby.
0:50 >> Oh, okay. >> I call her my fresh infant. [laughter] >> He goes, "How old are you, sweetie?" I call her my onemon-old a lot. >> Damn. >> Is that weird? >> They're into age play. >> No, I call her I call her Yeah. kid cuz she's my kid. Like that's the thing is she's like my kid. Like uh in so far as like I have to regulate her emotions a lot and help her like >> with task. >> There's history behind it, right? So that's different from like using some cookie cutter. >> Yeah. Cookie cutter part. >> Yeah. Yeah. >> Sweetie. >> So has pet names got out of out of control? I think the way you deliver it, it is a lot too though. >> Okay. Yeah. >> You know what I mean? If you go like, "Baby, like if you use if you say, "Baby, can you grab me that thing?" If you say it like that like three, four times within 5 minutes, it's too much. But if you do it like a little more n
1:40 like, "Baby, can you grab me that thing?" You know what I mean? Mumble a little bit. I think you could do it like two, three times. >> What about when you like raise your voice? You're like, "Babe," >> like that. >> I like that. >> But you're angry, though. >> Did that sound angry? >> Well, no. He just sounds like he's he has a 3,000t house like I do. >> Yeah. [laughter] Sick. Sick. >> By the way, recently priced at a million dollars. Thanks. >> Hey, [laughter] [applause] >> I got it for 725. I got it for $725. Let's go. >> We're up, baby. >> Real facts. I love it. [laughter] Hell >> or baby. Baby sandwiches are no good. Baby, can you grab me that thing, baby? Then it's like too much over and over and over. Like >> it's too much. >> Yeah, it's too much. >> You guys, >> we're in a new relationship. Are you guys doing this ████ Uh, I taught her Vietnamese, so it's like I call her M. >> Oh, >> love. >> Yeah, >> that's love, right? And then she calls you do >> is like little younger girl basically. >> Why you guys all pedals, dude? You guys
2:32 >> I say my little onemonth-old. That's less creepy. >> When you translate it, it doesn't sound good. >> But you say M. >> M. Yeah, she called me an >> Oh, okay. What's >> Ann is just like older brother? >> No, not brother. Just old older older man. Like it's it's very like directed like older male or younger male or like older woman or younger woman. >> You could have gave me a 100 guesses. Never. >> So like you I I I could I could call him Am because he's younger than me technically. It's just a younger thing. >> I could call you. >> Yeah. >> What do you call Hannah? >> I like that. >> I don't have any pet name. >> Call her limey. ████ [laughter] >> You just call her by her name? >> I don't. No. >> No. >> It's just Hey. Hey, you say Hannah? >> Hey, you. Well, like let's say she's in a crowd or something. So, you know, you have to address her. How do you What do you say? >> I do. But it feels weird every time I do
3:22 it. What do you say her name? >> Yeah. When I have to. >> What about in >> But it's weird. I never I never say her name. >> Really? What do you call her? >> Hey, girl. >> Collect. >> No. No. I I really don't. >> I now that I'm thinking about it, I think I should call her by something. >> Wait, why don't you call her by a thing? >> What do you do the hell? >> I think Hey, >> what do you do? >> She calls you right now. What do you do? You go, "Hi." >> Yeah. >> Oh, >> hello. >> What about when you need >> Dude, Bart is so disturbed right now. >> We literally just start talking. No. No. We don't even say hello. He's like, "What the f███?" >> We just start. >> What about when you need to like call her attention cuz she's doing something and >> I think we're so in each other's space all the time that there's no need to go, "Hey, first." >> So, she's got like headphones on, she's vacuuming, and then you walk in the room cuz you need something and she goes,
4:13 >> "Yes." Like that's it. >> No, I go honk honk. And then she's like, "Yeah." And I and I go, "Yeah, >> little SA move [laughter] >> while she's doing chores." >> No, I don't I don't I just start talking. I mean, I do that to you guys. I never go, "Hey, Steve." >> I just start talking. >> So maybe it's just my problem is I don't I just start talking. People don't even know I'm talking to them. >> What's the way that you show like affection and love? Uh >> lot of physical honk lot of lot of I love you, I miss you. >> And then, you know, a lot of like words of like praise and like >> Yeah. touching and Yeah. >> But does she have a pet name for you? >> She calls me Jay, but that's only because her brother's name is Joe. >> Oh, I see. So, she wants to separate it.
5:04 >> That makes sense. >> Yeah, that makes sense. >> She's like, I ain't calling you Joe. What about you then? >> I think me and Tiff might be the couple you guys are talking about. >> You gay? I never hear I never hear you >> babep. Can you give me that? >> I don't hear you overdo it though. >> Cuz I think it's like I don't like that couple either. But >> I don't hear you guys over. >> You become what you hate. You know, you kind of slowly morph into it. >> I don't think you hear him because when you look at him, I think you only see black belts and geese, >> right? >> No, but he doesn't call his students that. Hey babe, sit down on the floor. Babe, push-ups. Babes. Hey babe. I call everyone dude. >> You get a pass cuz you guys been together since high school. >> I've been calling Tiff nowadays. I call her mama. What's up, mama? >> It's kind of It's kind of turned into that. >> Yeah, >> it's kind of weird now. >> It's cuz we have kids. >> It's a progression. >> It's natural. You're actually warming up as well. >> What's up, mama? >> I do that. >> And it kind of feels weird cuz what
5:54 about little little mama? >> So, little mama. Yeah, I do that sometimes. >> That's cool. >> And she's looking little. She's looking big though. >> Yeah. >> I love big. >> I'm like, you looking big as hell, girl. Get over here, >> girl. Looking big girl. Come on down here, boy. [laughter] >> Let me Let me pick you up again. No, we usually do babe. >> Yeah, we don't really uh I do get mad at her when she calls me Nick. >> Yeah, it's weird when Nikki says I'm like, "What are you mad at me or something?" I always do that. >> Nikki's like, "Steve." I'm like, "What the f███?" And that just means that I didn't hear her the first four times. >> Yeah, cuz she called you something else. >> Yeah. Yeah. I hit her with a don't talk to me like that again. >> Don't you ever call >> Did she ever hit you with the first and last name? >> No. >> I haven't made her that mad yet. >> That would be crazy, >> dude. If I'm at Target and Nikki's in the makeup aisle and like I can't reach her cuz she's like just ████ zoned in on like reading ingredients or some
6:45 ████ I'm like Nicole. And then she's like don't ████ do that. She gets so >> snaps out of it though. >> Yeah, cuz her dad used to. And I was like that's the only way I called you Nick like 16 times. You didn't say ████ >> You got to do the Hong Kong. [laughter and clears throat] >> Hong Kong is actually that's what I do too. >> Hong Kong >> grab by the hips. I feel like what you get called is like is just a precursor to understanding their attitude in the moment. >> That's all it is. >> That's weird. >> What are the variations that you get? >> If I if I get like if I get like it's like you said if she says Steve, it's because it was the fourth time that you didn't hear something. It's never said the first time. So if she's in a good mood, I get like da da. >> Oh. >> Oh yeah. It's like a temperature gauge of where the conversation's going to start. >> Uh it's like him. It's like right before you're thinking about having a kid, you I think you subconsciously are already in calling each other like mama, papa,
7:35 or dad or something like that >> with the pets or whatever. >> So like if she calls me like dad or whatever, I feel like everything's cool. >> Yeah. >> And then if she calls me babe, then I'm like she's not like bubbly but things are cool. >> Maybe more routine. >> And then if she calls me aunt, I need to do something for her. >> And then if she says Anthony, I'm like uhoh. >> Yeah, you're in trouble. more ser the more formal it gets. Right. >> You ever try calling her Mrs. Lee? >> She needs to earn that. >> Oh, [laughter] she did. >> I thought she did with this. >> Yeah, I know. I know. I know. >> Sometimes when Tiffany uses her name, like when we go pick up an order and the order on it still says Tiffany Garcia, >> I look at her and I go, >> "Throw it in the trash." >> Yo, what the ████ is this? >> Yep. >> Are you ████ kidding me? I'm like, "You need to change your ████ email. This Tiffany Garcia stuff is bullshit."
8:25 >> Gone. >> Yeah. I don't care if that's your middle name anymore. It's gone. >> That's not who >> What would the pugs think? >> Exactly. You know, they're already Latin already. You know, they speak Spanish. I need to have something. >> No more Spanish stuff in our house. That's another thing >> like that. >> But it sounds so good. >> Or angry. >> Too much of it. Too much. Too much. >> If Nikki's leaving the house and she's like, "Thanks, daddy." I'm like, "Oh, it's ████ on later. Let's ████ go, boy." [laughter] >> You know what I mean? Yeah. Yeah, cuz I'll help her with some some menial task, some small thing like, "Where's my water bottle? I can't ████ find it." And I'll find it. She's like, "Thanks, daddy." And I'm like, "Oh, it's ████ on, brother." >> Is it usually on or you kind of rocked? >> It's on and she hasn't lost at poker. If it's If she lost at poker, it's off. It's light switch ████ clicked off. But if it's >> the whole time you got a bone, too, I got to be sad. >> Dude, I'm like ready to go.
9:15 >> What you got to do >> to prevent her from losing, >> you got to just give her all the poker tips, you know. >> Yeah. Yeah. [snorts] >> Hey, try this next time. >> Hey, play the aces. >> Yeah. 72. Run it. [laughter] >> Don't hold on the aces. >> It's funny, too, cuz one of my best pals is like so good at poker and he'll tell me ████ and I'm like, I have no idea what the ████ you're talking about. Just shut up. [laughter] Like, I just don't know. >> A ████ nerd right now. >> I call her beauty a lot. >> Yeah, that's good. >> Beauty is a good name that I do a lot normally. Um, >> when do you use beauty? Just like every day? >> Mostly. That's the mo one I use the most, I think. >> Like, hey beauty. >> I go, "Hey, beauty." I go morning beauty. >> That's so nice. >> Or you go, you wake up in the morning, go babe, ass looking fat. Ass looking fat. That ass like ████ >> That's a good one, too. >> Out of control. >> You got any napkins? >> Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. [laughter] >> You know what I mean? They love that. >> Sick. Two C's. I'm going to try that.
10:06 >> No. Try it. >> Just do it in the phone cuz you have to do it with the phone. >> You have to do it. >> There you go. >> Don't look so psychotic though. >> Do it slower. If it's fast, it's >> And then drive her nuts when you do it. [laughter] >> And then And then be insecure enough about it to be like That's the sound of me eating your ████ just, you know, >> so that she gets really hot. >> Okay. >> She gets hot. >> She she at work. >> Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. She likes that. [laughter] >> Yeah. I call her beauty a lot. And then uh yeah, she calls me Stephen if I'm ████ up pretty big time. But yeah, Anthony, you got you got a nickname for Nina? >> To be honest, when you talk about like cringey, uh I think we choose to go as cringey as possible. >> That's kind of cute. >> That's a cute thing. >> So it's like your normal is like Yeah. It's like you just babe can you blah blah blah blah blah. That's normal. >> And then when we go cringey,
10:57 >> we do it. >> Yeah. Yeah. >> It's spelled P U P. >> Yeah. >> W E S H I E. >> Papi. You go Papishi. >> Papishi. What'si? >> How did that start? >> Papuishi. You got to say all cute like that. It's when she ████ needs me to do something or buy her something or Oh, thanks. Papui like papuish. Papuish. I don't know. >> Oh, what's papuish? >> I don't know. It's a It's a sound effect. It's >> just a sound. Oh, >> ████ sound effect. Yeah. >> Yeah. You just say it >> like whoosh. >> What do you What do you do? >> Like pap. >> Do uh because when we got the dogs, we kind of got in the habit of calling them bubbies, you know? >> So, we'd call each other bubs all the time. We just say bubs. >> What's sup bubs? You know, like that.
11:48 But it's kind of like >> But do you do the baby thing? >> It transitioned. You know, >> you have to because otherwise like especially me if I just call, hey papu, that sounds so like you can't do that. >> So you might as well you have to double down on >> I say babe and I say baby a lot. That's what I >> Can you do it though? >> All right. I say like this. >> Say it like say it to >> That's not cringy. What's up, baby? Like that. >> Why you so ████ hot? Don't say so hot like that. But you throwing it away, >> baby. When you emphasize that, everyone goes, "Oh, >> that's what makes me want to kill myself." >> Yeah. You got to throw it away. It can't be like, "You >> got to throw it away, >> babe." Yeah. When you go, "Babe, I want to put a gun in my mouth." >> That That's when That one's >> And I don't like girls that talk like that. If there's a girl that talks like that and extra syllables, I'm out. I don't want to be in the >> A and turn it into six A's. >> Yeah. Just kill me. >> I'm out. Let me die. >> Motivated me to come up with a pet name.
12:39 >> Yeah. >> I'm going to do it. >> Let's try some out though. You got to test it. I'm going to Yeah, I think I'm >> I want you to have a bad run, YOU KNOW. >> OI, WENCH, COME OVER HERE, WENCH. >> WENCH. >> OI, [laughter] WENCH. >> YEAH, I GOT ONE. I got one >> cuz she's I know. I've been taking some time to think about this. >> I don't call her a gay ████ >> Whoa. A little long. A little. >> Hey, gay ████ Come suck this dick's never been more harder than >> in that voice. >> It's tight. >> You say >> or you say, "Hey baby, come show me how gay." >> Oh, he's such a gay ████ [laughter] >> A cute little gay ████ I can't even comprehend how big he is. >> It's a pet name. It's like a happy female dog >> cuz she's sad. She's fire. She's gay and like she got fashion. She's into fashion. >> She does a lot of things that's gay, you know? Like ████ eat my ass and like >> just ████ [laughter]
13:31 talking and >> dude like that's extremely >> shopping and ████ >> Like for him to think about gay ████ is like super thoughtful. Looking for a chick who could do hella gay stuff for a long time. >> I like gay sex with women, dude. >> Let's go.
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