0:00 Okay, I finished the protein. Oh, hell yeah. Hell yeah. >> The most important is gains. >> Yeah. Yeah. >> Oh ████ >> What's the bro dad response to? Oh man, I ████ myself again. >> What the ████ Who's that? Who ████ themselves? >> What's so funny? >> Cuz the last thing he was saying was asking about strip club stuff. It just made me laugh cuz the last thing I heard was to the bottle room. >> The last thing I heard was and she was humping his face with ████ >> Welcome back to another episode of the Careful Boys. Well, hey, let's, you know, question is, what things from your childhood that are no longer around now
0:52 would you raise your children with? M >> a telephone that goes like this. The road that they have to call people >> have to work for it. >> Yeah. >> What good will that do? >> And they have to remember phone numbers. >> Five. >> Well, no. That's useful. That is useful. >> Two. >> We do. You guys remember your childhood phone number? >> Yeah. >> Yeah. What was yours? >> 3243 402. >> Nice. >> 4519 9109. >> I'm not going to say it. >> Why you going to call it? What do you >> My house phone's the same number till now. So, I don't want to say it. >> That's why I'm That's why I'm not going to say it. >> Mine, too. >> You guys have house num still? Landlines? >> Yeah, I don't >> cuz it's my mom. It's where my mom's phone is. >> My parents are too cheap for that. They actually figured out let's just use cell phones. >> I actually now do want to get a landline though. >> Why? >> Just sometimes I don't. It's like more
1:43 reliable than reception. >> If some ████ goes out, your internet modem goes out and you have to make a phone call, you're ████ >> That's fair. When I'm in my garage, I can't even I can't even call anybody. >> Yeah. Like adding a landline to your cable, it's like five bucks extra. >> Yeah, it's cheap as ████ so I might as well do it. >> Yeah, but I like to ████ them because they ████ me for years. So, I like to ████ them and let them know I don't need your landline and I barely need your cable cuz guess what? NFL is not on right now, so ████ you. And then I And then I'm like, but I'll be back in 6 months. >> But if you have a landline, is that still like going to cost a lot for long distance the way it used to back in the day? >> Oh, that's right. >> But you wouldn't use that for that. Your landlines for like the emergencies. Yeah. >> But imagine you having a landline and a cell phone bill. It's like kind of bougie. >> That's pretty bougie. Yeah. >> Oh yeah. >> I care about emergencies now. >> Emergency. Call the the second phone in your house or the third phone. You have
2:33 a lot of phones. >> But they all use the same service. >> Oh, good point. >> That's true. >> So just get a different ████ service phone. >> Get a V phone. >> So spend another $100 a month on ████ another one. >> Mob it's like 25. >> Yeah. Ryan Ren. >> Pay as you go. >> Yeah. >> I'd rather have something stable in the ground. >> Okay. What else that stuff that's not around would you >> What isn't around anymore that was around? >> What do you mean like that you would continue with the kids? >> Yeah. That you would want your child to have to make I had make them you do a fax machine just so I could relate to them. >> Well, cuz all the brands are are are like revitalized. Like if you thought Ninj was dope is still here. GI Joe is still here. Like all the brands are still around. >> I have a problem. >> Go back to the old stuff >> with >> this mentality because I see a lot of people on the internet doing like I'm a retro gamer and I'm raising them right. I've talked about this before, but it drives me crazy because it's like, let
3:23 your kid relate to the kids of his era, please. Instead of like, my kid's playing the real Mario and not your s█████ Mario. >> So, you wouldn't force your kid to watch a bunch of Blood Sport and Rumble in the Bronx only. >> Probably not when he's five. Yeah, probably not. >> I let him choose. And he liked it. >> Oh. Oh, you did. >> Cuz that's called forcing your kid. >> I just Yeah, that's not my ████ >> I think I beat his ass. >> Nice. >> That's what we need to bring. You think that's not around anymore? >> I think that will never not be around. >> I don't think it's around anymore in the >> I think there's less when there should be more >> or it's just more hidden, >> less talked about. >> You see how people ████ act today? Nobody ████ beat. >> Oh, okay. Even people that are 20 years old right now didn't get their ass beat as much like 10 years ago. >> I'm going to >> even Mexicans.
4:13 >> The new the new ass beating real quick is when a parent takes a bag of Flamin' Hot Cheetos. they're about to give their kid and they look at it and they go, "Oh, yellow number five." I don't think so. >> It's red 40. >> Well, I'm just saying that's the new like slamming your kid's head into a wall cuz like that that kid just like is like I just want to eat some flaming hot Cheetos, dude. Come on, man. >> Or it's like I just deleted your NBA 2K profile. >> I've seen that. >> Aboose. A boo. I wouldn't do that. That's That's way out of line. forever. >> I will hire some um Asians that will pretend to be their parents and I'll just be the uncle and I would watch them get raised just like I do. >> What the hell? >> Wait, that's not around today. >> And if one of them wants to negotiate with you, like the dad wants to negotiate with you, he's like, "I think
5:04 I deserve more pay. I've been here for 3 years." You just replace him. >> I call I call ICE on him. I you get another guy in and the other guy's like, "What are you talking about? I'm your dad." You just gaslight the kid and you're like, "I'm your dad. I'm your dad." >> It's like Fresh Prince. They they did it. >> Yeah, exactly. No one really talk. >> Speaking of fresh, how about include things like old TV shows or >> Blood Sport, Rumble and the Bronx. >> Yeah, I would show him. >> I would love to show him Back to the Future, but that's still kind of in today's culture. >> He loved Back to the Future. >> That's actually pretty good though. >> Real talk about parenting because I'm about to be one one day. >> Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Um, >> you're the closest amongst all of us right now. >> So, did you know that there's like a whole movement right now where they're having their kids watch like Sesame Street and stuff that we grew up on because they're too stimulated with the new shows that's ████ with their
5:55 heads. >> Oh, like everything's so ADHD, like fastpaced. >> Yeah. So, they're like a lot of people are just like, nah. Like when we switched them back to the '9s cartoons, >> like they were entertained, but they're way more chill. But when they're on with a ████ like whatever these new games or or or shows are, they're crack fiends. >> There's a kid who's swinging on a swing set right now and not a kid is around for miles because of this ████ >> Yep. >> Because ain't no kids want to hang out with this kid. >> Yep. >> That's That's what is the result of that ████ >> Well, cuz they're watching 90 shows. >> Yeah, dude. >> No, but it's a group. It's like a whole group of cuz all the all the kids are talking about what they're watching. >> That's what I'm saying. You're just so screw. Like at the time we're all watching Nickelodeon together. We're all watching Cartoon Network together. Like you're just going to isolate your kid and send him to ████ ████ off land.
6:45 >> Anyone else see Mr. Rogers? They're like what? See what >> you know it's a trip though? Like when I was in Liverpool, like kids are being f it's like 1950s America where they're all playing at the park and I was like what the ████ But they're all doing it. >> They're all probably watching the same ████ Yeah. And they're watching and that's tight. >> Yeah. That's true. That's true. That's true. >> But these parents, they get so in their heads and they're, by the way, they're just so into themselves. >> Are they also all white? >> They're all white. >> There you go. >> Well, you just got to find your cult community. >> Yep. >> That's all. >> I don't disagree with that, but just make sure it's a community and not like three people, dude. >> Right. I think it's cool when like you and the the all the like let's say your your kid and all the nephews and nieces all watch something. >> Exactly. >> Yeah. But if you're like, I forbid you from seeing 20 29 Ninja Turtles, then it's >> Oh, dude. I'm going to be like a crunchy
7:35 mom. Like, no ████ sugar, no ████ none of that ████ I'm going drink soda, be like, "Why can't I have it?" Cuz you're a ████ That's why. Like, I had ADHD like a ████ So, I'm going to do whatever it is in my power to keep them sedated without drugs. >> I think I think nutritional choices are different than like pop culture. >> If these ████ come to your house, you better not give them any drugs. But dude, can I just say this though? How did anyone survive until crunchy parenting, brother? >> Like I was just around a crunchy mom. I was around a crunchy mom recently, a couple months ago >> in moderation. >> It was insufferable. >> I wanted to if I could in a land without laws just execute this chick just for her own good. I would have done it cuz she's stressing everybody out, including herself. >> Did you guys know any crunchy moms when you were a kid? >> No. >> Yeah. >> No. No. I'm asking like I'm asking if if
8:25 you knew any when you were a kid and you knew that mom's child, did they turn out normal today? >> When I was a kid, >> I normal >> the Yeah. Good. >> When I was real quick, when I was a kid, >> No, you're not. >> When I was a kid, the crunchy mom was the mom who was like, I'm getting regular applesauce and not applesauce with cinnamon. That was the crunchy mom at the time. >> I feel like our community was crunchy >> kind of. Yeah, >> cuz we had like dietary restrictions for health and certain snacks we couldn't eat and and whatever. But since it was so many, >> it didn't feel weird. >> I think I think replace with like religious. But yeah, yeah. Yeah, I get you. >> You know what's sad though is that the the moms I knew that were like that when I was younger and then those kids that grew up, they turn out to be those uh dudes my age, no driver's license, >> never moved out, like that ████ Dude, they're winning. They're too controlled.
9:16 They're winning. >> Yeah. They just have no like freedom. They've never like done anything. >> But wouldn't it be cool though like if we're just able to like, hey, it's lunch time and all of our moms come and then they just feed us and we're like, >> we don't have to do nothing. >> We can do that for each other, homie. >> Homie, >> that's gay. >> No, that's homie ████ >> So your mom doing it for YOU IS NOT GAY? >> NO, that's like king ████ And by the way, I have no issue with crunchy moms in general, but when you take it to the extreme to a level that is actually insane, >> like for example, this person, and I'm not going to say who they are, but I've told all of you privately who this is. >> Just look at your eyes. We know who you're talking. >> Told all of you privately who this is. They told me I was like, "Hey, your kid's so well behaved. Like when I was hanging out with my brother's kid, it was so insane because they're just so
10:06 ADD and s███." And she's like, "Thank you." Oh, she didn't say thank you. She's like, that's She's like, I don't want you to say that around my kid because my kid is internalizing that about them even though you're saying praise about them. They're hearing you talk about the other kid who's like literally not in the same state as them. And they're internalizing it and thinking that it's about them. And I'm like, you're literally in La La Land. I'm sorry I said anything. I wish I just said ████ off and I just doubleded you. >> Is that crunchy mom? That sounds >> agreed. >> That sounds as ████ >> But this ████ was I just was up a tree with >> I don't know what that is, dude. >> That ████ drove me absolutely nuts. >> That's uh devouring. That's the devouring mom, >> right? It's just Exactly. It's just This kid will have like you're talking about
10:57 this kid will have no independence. This kid will do nothing without supervision. It's This kid's being swallowed whole slowly like a ████ Sarlac pit. And Boba Fett's in there like going like, "Kill me. ████ kill me. >> You know what I am? I'm a bro dad. >> What's a bro dad? >> I know. I just made it up. But like, oh, let's say like Ta is like, I'm full. I'm like, all right, then just finish the protein and then he'll eat. >> He's a gym bro dad. >> That's so ████ funny. >> Okay, I finished the protein. Oh, hell yeah. Hell yeah. >> The most important is gains. >> Yeah. Yeah. >> Oh ████ That's >> What's the bro dad response to? Oh man, I ████ myself again. >> What the ████ Who's that? Who ████ himself? >> Playing your son. >> Oh, >> what's the bro deadad response? >> He almost never ████ himself. That's I was like, "What the hell? Who's that?"
11:47 >> You're like, "We got a pallet of shorts in the garage." Okay. >> I ████ myself more than Taika s████ himself. >> Is that true? >> Yeah, >> I believe that. >> I know it's true. >> I try to make a scenario for you. >> No, cuz Ta got Thank God. He got Gio's bladder and ████ sphincter >> lit. So his ability >> I want to know about Gio sphincter. >> So his ability to control >> what they can ████ hold their ████ like >> Wait, Gio can hold her everything. >> That's so unlike a woman. >> Like Tao could pee could pee noon today. He doesn't pee the whole time and then let's say it's time to go to bed. Hey Ta, you should probably go pee so you don't wet the bed. Trust me, I'm not going to wet the bed. I'm like, what the ████ All right, wake up in the morning. Do you need a pee? Oh yeah, I need to pee now. I'm like, what the ████ >> Meanwhile, you went to bed. >> Meanwhile, I went to pee like five
12:37 times. I went to go piss five times already. >> And you ████ the bed. >> And I Yeah. >> At his age, I was a h What? What grade is he in? Third. >> Third. >> I was a habitual ████ bed wetter at his age. But you were doing it on purpose. That's >> He pulled it out of the pee like this. >> You're just a rebel. That's not pee in the bed. No, >> you know what's the craziest thing? To this day, if I have a bladder full at night, I will dream about peeing >> and then pee. >> No, but when I'm but I'm so thankful for cuz I was a guilty Catholic boy shame. >> I bet I went to bed three times as a child and I was so shameful as my mom was doing. I'm like I'm just the biggest piece of ████ So I just don't do it for some reason. But I will fully pee in my dreams multiple times in multe.
13:27 I'm probably peeing in real life. >> Same here, dude. Probably. >> I don't pee in real life, but I feel like I am. >> Me, too. >> But have you wet the >> 50/50 for me. >> Have you wet the bed next to Nina? >> No. I've But I've been super super drunk and I've like almost peed in a drawer and she was like, "Stop." >> I started peeing. >> What a buzz dream. And so did my dick. And I had to stop it. And then I ran to the bathroom. So I wet the bed a little bit. >> Damn. >> Wait, this is adult you? >> Oh yeah. Multiple times, >> dude. I dude that happens multiple times. >> Only happened to me one time. I fell asleep downstairs at our old condo in my computer chair and then Nikki's like came, "Hey baby, let's go to bed." All stuff. And apparently I got up. I opened the fridge and I started peeing. >> It just happened. >> I just sleepwalked. It >> just ████ happened. And she's like, "You emptied your whole
14:18 bladder just on the ████ >> Oh, you actually >> Yeah. On the bottom three drawers of the fridge. I just peed on it like it was a urinal." And I was just like, "Yeah, baby. Let's ████ go, I guess. But I was sleepwalked. Like, I didn't even know.
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