0:00 [Music] so there is a uh somebody dubbed the brighton cat killer who murdered at least nine cats and has recently just died in jail oh it was a really good oh that one's called don't that one messed me up so this this guy killed nine cats and he went to jail for killing cats he's a former a royal navy gunner dubbed the brighton cat killer after he carried out a string of deadly attacks on pets right how did they know that he killed the cats well i mean like are they i mean so so like is it like a seal killer that just
0:51 left the cat on the ground with like quarters in the eyes or something oh he had a signature signature thing you know like yeah he was jailed specifically in relation to the deaths of nine casts and injuries to seven more and he carried out this deadly spree in east sussex between october 2018 and may 2019 before finally being captured on cctv okay set up by the owner of a dead feline damn sting operator what does he have against cats i know right because he probably read online that to be a man you have to be a ████ killer so that's why he's like oh i'm a man it looks like someone drew him yo he looks like a condor [Laughter] no that's why this was so mad he looks like that's like a bird you know he looks like a cop he's like squidward he
1:42 looks like squidward in real life real life squidward looking ass ████ oh my god that's what led him to cat killing as he was bullied for his looks we're all making fun of him still i think so dude i think if i look like that i would have so much anger in my heart yeah and he was a military dude too he was he was a royal navy gunner the cause of his death is not known but at his sentencing hearing the court was told that he had been diagnosed with thyroid cancer which had spread to his liver and lungs oh man i wish an inmate ████ him up like imagine there was like a uk thug yeah he's a cat lover yeah hella tattoos and cats all over right and his gangster name is like kitty ████ kitty carlos kitty carlos kitty carl carlos and ████ peter yeah
2:32 he rolls up to ████ squidward and slits his throat yeah like that'd be tight yeah that's the revenge movie i want to see bouquet his name was raised by cats in the alley the origin story yeah i know it's cat man you know it's like a uk thug cat man you jailed for five years and three months at hope crown court last july after being found guilty of 16 offenses of criminal damage in relation to the cats as well as possession of a knife wow okay he had served in the royal navy for 22 years including in northern ireland and iraq wow during his trial jurors heard accounts from several cat owners who had found their pets bleeding on their doorstep oh my god and we want to remember the cats so i'm gonna give them their names nine cats hendricks tommy hannah allen nancy gizmo kyo ali and cosmo were killed and he put
3:24 them on their doorsteps of the owners that's ████ up you know let's put them on that i didn't even catch them yeah for real you must have been tracking these cats thoughts aren't easy to catch like a cat whisperer on top of it he probably is ████ loose what about with food do they come with food like you put like some food out there sashimi cats are really really temperamental in that way though so like they they're either really used to human beings therefore like they're down for food yeah um aka being out and about or if they're really domestic it's usually they're like very uh they may allow folks yeah so as a cat guy when you read stories like this are you extra like emotionally charged honestly i i want to ████ make sure that this guy doesn't just die and we don't remember his like uh s█████████ so i want to just make sure that he doesn't just die quietly so we're going to do a jk news episode about him we're going to name the cats we're going to give him their fair justice and their life you know and
4:14 immortalize them yeah and then we're going to remember this motherfucker's a condor and squidward you know what i mean he looks like a little ████ you know what makes me pissed is he died of natural causes i think what he should have done is dude we should have taken him to a ████ tiger king sanctuary right like trying to kill this big cat go go ahead and be like hey dude like why why you ████ picking on the little dudes for right and i'll tell i'll be like hey ████ tiger you know what this ████ did yes i'll be like hey tony the tiger it's great i'll be like you know what this ████ did he ████ up all of your friends man i have all of them i have a question for all you guys do you guys think if we did more poetic punishments to people that
5:04 like kill the cat we throw them in a tiger pit do you think that would stop crime or do you think that would just make it worse stop crying i don't think we'll ever stop it stop it completely i think it would slow it down yeah i do think better punishments are deserved media more entertaining i heard north korea was really safe [Music] i don't know imagine this right imagine imagine like let's say you're a gangster you're a gangster with a daughter right and you're doing drive-bys and if your stray bullet hits someone else's daughter they blast your daughter oh god oh my god well let me let me let me give you a nice can make you have a daughter yeah well because some some people they're like oh ████ it i'll do i'll i'll take it i'll go to jail like right jail's not the problem it's not scary the gangs are scary so like if if the if the justice system is more of like uh
5:57 i don't know like a darker one or whatever property a jomalian system maybe so like so like if like a gangster like you know a straight bullet like kills a daughter maybe they not get thrown into a jail that has like people who had their daughters murdered oh okay like that that's a good alternative yeah so the other daughters doesn't have to be killed you know you hear about like how like some some uh jail communities and stuff prison community and stuff like if a pedo walks in they get like ████ up yeah they they beat the ████ out but all these people have like murdered raped and stolen and ████ but it's like a pedal comes in we're gonna ████ this full up like there's some sort of weird justice yeah yeah we gotta create pools of weird jokes yeah yeah yeah yeah like that lisa killed his daughter you killed my daughter are you gonna kill another person's daughter that's a that's an eye for an eye i
6:47 don't have a daughter well your mother was a daughter once yeah but because you had that good like segway then we came up with a better idea so it's all good it's part of brainstorming it's just neighborhoods in japan it's because they have the highest gang members there so like they're organized you can't do petty crime like if if you're an educator but you could do organized crime yeah basically got it got it but i mean like it's like if they catch you because they want tourism and they want like all the all the people to spend money there at their businesses right so if you're out there like robbing pickpocketing all that stuff and then the tourism like it kind of shuts down right so you're ████ with their business so they're like ████ up the people that do petty crime on average citizens so they're just the police basically yeah oh the police is organized like the underworld police
7:37 like they're uh it actually makes sense because it's not like organized crime is like petty crime i don't think anyone likes like stealing ████ robbery and she like organized beating all ladies on the street yeah like organized crime you have brothels you have like if you want to get drugs just stuff that people do way more sophisticated yeah gambling stuff that people do anyways is just looked down upon morally but like robbery and ████ like um like like destruction of property like that's just a nuisance to both sides you know even mafia don't like that ████ i like that where it's like okay we're the police for the stuff that isn't legal yet so don't ████ with our ████ either which i think is tight yeah you do some organized crime it's like cool you kill a cat ████ no you need to die poetically nobody likes cat killers yeah or animal pet killers you gotta you gotta slit
8:27 their throat in the street bro who hasn't seen don't ████ with cats i haven't yo yo it's a good question it's so good yeah because first well that makes me buy a cat though he already threw out a name the first time i was watching it i really thought it was just like oh don't ████ cast what the ████ is this right and then it doesn't i didn't think he was gonna go into some like murder mystery cereal type ████ but once it gets there yeah it's another level that ████ was so weird no and that ████ taught me that that documentary was teaching me about like internet sleuths internet justice people that like they just yeah they ████ the crime and then you start a forum and then you guys actually figure this ████ out i love that she was cool about it though is that how everybody was like got together and kind of helped it's like that q and on ████ though but it's also like sometimes not good because people start
9:17 making up ████ most of the time this is the rare case that it works because the one in the the cecil hotel one oh man oh that one was a ████ mess the way these people are like just adding theories and it became this whole thing when in reality it was just some poor girl that like had a mental illness detracted from the entire thing of like ruined some other guy's life because they thought he killed her that's also when the police like put out the evidence right so yeah that's why didn't that guy kill himself too or something no i don't oh i don't know i don't know something like that yeah you talk about the luca guy no no no no no with the cecil hotel one it's like they are like they like kind of semi-penned it to like another dude who was like i don't know if he's ex-military but he like did paintball or some ████ like that but then that guy ended up getting all these threats and stuff and then he ended up offering himself yeah you know what i mean he didn't kill himself he
10:08 was in the he was in the documentary are you talking about the rock guy the rock guy okay uh the twisted steel guy said yeah i don't know anymore we think he killed himself [Laughter] they all live among us all these people we just never know we try to keep our eyes open if they look like squidward yeah that's why we need more yakuza justice man she loves yakuza here man i don't love shopping we should bring it to this 626 area hell yeah that's the same as joe being like north korea is safe is safe dude i like them [Music]
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