0:00 [Music] okay here's something really really good that uh just happened and it's a landmark breakthrough scientists cure a female hiv patient for the first time using stem cell technology looking red bro she's the first like confirmed like cured hiv patient function so what about magic wait didn't he get cured of hiv sorry the way that you phrased it was like it was like sounds are ████ cool but what about the ancient arts of magic why are we utilizing this you're like champion i believe where are you talking about magic johnson [Applause] i was like why are we not you know hocus pocus you're better ████ so initially i was like what about magic
0:52 the gathering what about the dark arts how come we're not using the dark arts joe the way that you speak the way that you phrase things you you say something and then you pause for long enough that my brain goes yeah what about magic so there's a lot of times you'll say stuff what about and then you finish the rest of your thought in the other half of the sentence but a lot of times i'm like what about place pauses but i'm sure while you were saying that everybody in their head was thinking what about magic cause in the last video he was like everybody was killing each other like black friday and me and him had a moment yeah we looked at each other and just like i just looked up at the lights interesting that's all i'm just like what the ████
1:47 i love it all right so yeah scientists actually cured her in terms of magic johnson i believe his thing was a result of just accurately placed treatments that were super successful yeah well and you would have the money to take like the ten thousand dollars with the pills it was blood transfusion so it wasn't a few stems it just replaced all of this yeah he had so much ████ money well i knew the answer is just funnier to say that right but like it slowly just switched his blood over time every day he had blood transfusions that's how much ████ money he had met new plasma constantly he's not dark magic or no well yeah dude isn't that a ████ like pitch for a sci-fi movie where you just are a rich person and you just replace your blood with like the blood of young people that's what happened back in feature too
2:37 he had a change of blood when he says that he rips off his old skin went through the treatments for like uh over a decade wow he's been at it for a while yeah so his uh the i guess like the count uh just reduced constantly to the point where it just left his body yeah it's ████ nuts that's pretty amazing it's a fair trade right it's someone at that level to be the uh i guess like in some ways a poster boy for aids that is pretty crazy though right trade off is that we're going to ████ focus all these like experimental like new technology things on you if you cure aids doesn't that put condoms out of business what heard that brother heard that heard that i think the biggest std of children is still gonna make me buy condoms i mean it puts gonorrhea true true at least fifty percent of the condiments we've been out the game we
3:28 don't know what it's like anymore well i mean uh stock is going to go through the roof chlamydia stock yeah like the inventory of committees you gotta get rid of that yeah now we're condoms yeah for the big short on that one the big shorts but yeah so they were able to do that and and i mean they've done it with male patients before but this is the first female i wonder why it's so different like why is there such a gender gap ████ ████ healing this ████ laureen willenberg the first female cured of hiv via stem cell technology well maureen looks like she she lived to a ripe old age unless she's 20 years old she looks like she uses magic she yeah low-key bro that's double doors like i said dude why does she just use her magic what is her job class let's ask she looks like she
4:19 works at hogwarts for sure yeah it looks like you know she's i'm sure she's a nice lady i mean witches can be nice do we know how she hates wasn't sharing heroin needles or is it from getting low then you put that in the article right was it loads busted in her mouth they left it up for assumption they said that's more fun that way it was ████ witch orgies yeah which is we have oranges black magic orgy witches be able to detect aids probably that's a psychic get it right completely different kind of magic yeah ryan can we ask that out loud psychics do you think you think do you think an hiv positive person can go to a psychic and go just tell me if i have aids or not would they be right they should be able to if they're an accurate person if they're a good one if they're a good one if you guys would
5:09 you ████ around with some psychics no i'm gonna go to a ████ doctor you're already gonna go to a dog about this i'll give you choices okay would you go to your uh chinese acupuncturist like my mom's homies yeah yeah or fortune teller chinese stuff they're both my mom's homies so yeah so you gotta pick between pick your poison which one do you go to for yourself for the best reading who do you trust the most the fortune teller fortune teller over the acupuncturist huh yeah because i would go as a chiropractor i would yeah because i would go there and say i don't have it first and then see what they say i'll give give it the opposite yeah and then when you go you're going to get the tarot that just says aids on it yeah i don't know yeah the aids card yeah yeah that's a new one too that's chariot death aids what else world life can i tell you guys about the time that i thought i was uh hiv positive yeah oh ████ it's actually it's actually a funny
5:59 story oh cool so good yeah so um i was experiencing this like um these like swellings on my face randomly but at the time i turned like uh i think it was like 30 and uh all of a sudden my both my cheeks swell up super uh big and i just flown into florida so i go to the hospital i'm like what's going on like a hamster really really big wow do you have a picture of my chance i didn't feel like taking a picture like when a dog bites a bee you didn't vlog it bro no i didn't i was freaked out so i go in the doctor puts me on some like um benadryl like whatever they can like via iv yeah and then um i knock out and then i wake up and i'm like oh must be done no it's even bigger the doctor's right there i get the shrug of the year they're just like i don't know what's going on with the shrug doctors
6:55 the swelling goes down after like a week and then it reoccurs like the next uh like five days after is the swelling cheek one of the symptoms of hiv uh yeah i mean your lymph node swelling no they're on your cheek here anywhere you have glands so uh salivary glands you know like these right here like anything glandular swelling is like it's a pretty big uh symptom but it wasn't me webmd myself it was me going to a specific doctor that they had recommended me to go to to figure out what's going on with that uh i went to this doctor and and this is kind of ████ up so he's i don't know what it could be but we're gonna do all the tests as we can it wasn't until he asked me oh so what do you do i told him i was a dancer and then he said it might be hiv what what dancers be dabbling with a lot of people
7:47 yeah yeah honestly yeah dancers would be busting off he ████ said that to me yeah but why would he tell you break it to you like that because he probably thought he was a chip and dale's dad i haven't even done the test yet and the doctor already goes you know it might be hiv he looked at you up and down what the ████ and he goes you be ████ normal right how did you feel i thought i was already dead i was like i got ████ aids so like i would maybe be like like maybe like you raise an eyebrow and you're like we're gonna do some tests yeah yeah don't say hiv so chill and like it might be hiv i didn't what did what was your initial reaction inside yeah i died dropped i died i died right there because i didn't expect that i thought it was just like an allergic reaction like my eating too many mangoes or some ████ no so then he he i do the the test and it's like every possible physical test you can do to find out what's going on in your body it's absolutely everything all the blood work everything bald coffin all of the above so then he goes um so
8:38 we'll see the results in about 30 days you're like and i'm like i have 30 days to think about this over what doctor did you go to because when i do the ████ blood test p test for the std check right hiv results come like in a day well that's the thing is this isn't this isn't technically a hiv test it's a full-on everything test his verbal diagnosis was just to throw that in there right after i told him a little spice i think it was just like a prejudice against he just thought i was gay no you honestly just thought i was gay like a gay chip and dale's dancing yeah he just thought he's gay you could just tell like he's one of those guys you just thought he was getting it like this guy's too gay for me i spent 30 days like just in a heightened sense of anxiety i was like when i get my diagnosis and so to make matters worse like i i was like thinking who gave it to me oh
9:28 ████ and the last person had sex with my ex so then i like i was trying to kind of get answers out of her without saying like this is my situation oh my god so like trying to like tiptoe around it but still get clues it was a ████ up 30 days man and but then when i finally came back in and i get the results i'm like just ████ give me the aids man just tell me he goes he goes oh so it's something called shogren syndrome and it's an autoimmune where like your glands will because it just attacks itself after eating too many like uh gluten yeah i didn't know that oh so you better stay away from the bread i developed a gluten sensitivity that looked like among other things hiv symptoms wow i i was so why did he not say that first because he thought he was gay so then i get i go ████ ████ homophobic dick so after he tells old results i go to
10:18 the parking lot and i instantly did the highest backflip oh ████ oh and you know that guy was watching from his office like ████ dancing i knew it i bet that guy used a different word because he's a scumbag i laid down on the pavement like this just looking up at the sun that's the gayest dancer i've ever seen yeah so yeah sjogren's syndrome so autoimmune disease ████ flares up piece of ████ doctor you have it under control now yeah it's fine i just don't i just don't eat as much bread yeah so do so you eat sandwiches and ████ what happens like if i eat too much bread like in a row like if i have a like if we get a papa john's pizza i go five slices the next day my cheeks should be swollen oh so four slices of your cutoff i don't know depends if we're talking sparrows or costco's depends we need to try this and you'll find what your cutoff is yeah i
11:08 mean it's been that way for years yeah because my eczema flares up after i ate a lot of sandwiches and i was like i'm not even eating that much like milk and stuff but sandwiches why don't you get a taste yeah what about it you should bread by itself if you eat like a lot of bread or pancakes we were doing that too like i was putting ████ butter and jam and ████ and i was being ████ just toasted bread ████ bread bread i was on a bread west man yeah it's like bread baked in a bread bread sandwich you can develop it way later in life like it started at 30 for me wow you can develop like a lot of allergies later in life like my friend just developed a seafood allergy oh that sucks i was like oh my heartbeat that means no more sushi yeah so yeah no sushi no shrimp no anything see i already got a dairy allergy is pretty brutal enough you know
12:00 diarrhea that's it gary's pretty broad though he'll upgrade that to hiv i swear dude i never went to that guy again but like yeah if you want to ████ was where was this hospital downey what was his name i don't even remember i didn't want to ████ dr homophobe i have that stack of uh papers in my like in my uh parents house still wow and it's literally anything that could be possibly wrong with me like my health checks out except for that yes and i was like damn if you're a doctor out there don't ████ just give that out and just go it could be hiv they teach you to not do that giant difference man yeah you're not supposed to do that yeah you're not saying maybe he didn't want you to ████ for 30 days just in case i think you could have told you something different and like gay guilt me i think a little bit does it make you sweat and be like oh no it's all the gay sex i've been having i got a crush on you and it
12:50 made them feel uncomfortable themselves she wanted to ████ me that's it you
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