0:00 okay well how about would you sell your for 1,000 bucks don't way Jose no no no but it's not they're not going to make a kid that some dude just wants to drink it oh that's even weirder come on do it dude imagine a guy coming up to you like I like the way your kung tastes I'm [Music] like have any of you guys ever considered donating your sperm no no to who I donate my sperm you never know just like randomly I don't think I'm eligible why not sometimes I think I have slow swimmers oh is it cuz you wear tiny what do you mean you should wear less constricting underwear it's your fanny pack you don't feel healthy you don't think you have Elite genetics I didn't expect all you guys to jump all over me I didn't jump on why
0:50 you why are you thinking about that know this is like a common joke that we've been like talking about with like me and Tiff and some of the friends you got weak sperm I might because you know I was thinking about it and I was like yo I haven't worn a condom since like 2014 dude and you bust inside no I don't bust inside what you're talking like not even one not even one accident like not even like one that's not how pregnancy works so you tell me how pregnancy worksart guy you have to come inside her not all the time don't they say a facial doesn't get babies ████ we don't do none of that stuff share the same I can't but heat heat does kill like sperm you're always hot down the thing though too is I carry my phone on me a lot like over your over your penis on his fanny pack you have like 5G huh I got 5G before everyone got 5 but if you're pulling out all the time
1:41 you're like decreasing your chances of pregnancy by crazies yeah but I just you know like crazy especially if you're not a leaker are are your are your balls always hot because I you you cover with so many things I think they're warm like cuz you have your you tell me this is hot you have your underwear you have your pants h in your fanny pack I think you got strong swimmers dude active guy I got some nice backstroke dud think you don't have swimmers they're swiming to chilling you have Grapplers not but you're really active you got low tea you know what I mean it could be an opposite thing that's cuz I'm ████ 90 years old now but he also doesn't sleep you think bar could have had lower tea but then because he's active he increased it yeah probably dude what time you go to bed every night you could have no tea like 10 Bart Bart had woman level tea like negative Mar has straight
2:33 e I'm on E I'm on M but he worked out so hard he got he got normal tea that's another thing as you get older your estrogen levels go up and our food has a lot of estrogen in it like because they just put it in cuz someone's making money that and we're not but then what happens is you get more emotional you start to get more sensitive more I am more sensitive actually no bar has no emotions he's literally a robot I can't have no T and no e yeah Anthony that means I'm just dead I just right in the middle he's that neutral that means you're they that's what they like to call it got both I'm a fluid binary person you feel like you've been crying more to change your bio now no I always been crying yeah I think I always been crying only when he watching Spider-Man 3 no Kung Fu Panda you cried in Kung Fu Panda yeah when the St said that I'm uh I'm your dad or something
3:24 like that and he goes there is no secret remember to the recipe he's like secret I haven't seen it but is that a spoiler I can't that's pretty old pretty old like sounds spoil I'm your dad that can notot be a spoiler in a movie Star Wars oh yeah right uh so the reason I'm bringing up the sperm donor thing is because uh I thought we should clear this up there are some people that have fears that donating sperm in the future could make them liable for child support I just don't want kids that I don't know about that's why I don't do it yeah cuz that's a weird Concept in it yeah I think psychologically I would feel responsible like oh ████ that guy's part of my ████ I worry about that so there are some cases where a sperm donor had to pay child's supp BL ████ for real why that's not fair you donated that but it is happening it's just that there's a lot of people that are actually jumping on Tik Tok and like kind of lying and
4:15 saying that that happened to them oh they're just lying Tik Tok never lies why do you guys think I know this is which is why it's weird that there's an anomaly of these people doing that so weird wait so how the ████ is that even possible like you donated sperm and then now you have to pay child support so here's the ways that it is possible um so here there's an incident I'm going just give you this example uh we covered it before I think this lesbian couple they had got a sperm donor in order to have a baby then the lesbian couple broke up oh that's right and then the uh the one solo lesbian that was left with custody of the child ended up getting government assistance to raise the kid MH and then what happened isn't that the guy had to pay a child's support it's more technically that after after she collected government assistance then the government sued the guy whose sperm it
5:06 was wow for the assistance that they had to give the mother W to reimburse yeah it's it's like in this triangle don't you ████ sign a waiver or some ████ like now that I bus in this cup I don't have ████ deal with none of this ████ why did they ████ sue the other Les now that I bus in this cup waiver the same words the same words because here's here they should have Su the dead beat lesbian that ran away dead beat lesbian do you think that one was the the more like I think because the dead beat lesbian the one that ran away clearly it was the it was the Morey truck driver one yeah the truck driver one the DBL dead beat lesbian the flannel she never wore a sleeve she has sleeveless flannel with with long shorts that go to the ankles like the daughter from Roseanne yeah called Capri so here's always a jersey or
5:58 something here's the key thing that you have to watch out for so uh most guys who are donating sperm are doing it at these licensed facilities or with a actual physician present if you don't do that like if you do it any other way like he actually just ████ her you did not give up you didn't relinquish your parental rights that means they're able to come for child support from you and you were also able to come for custody oh wow both ways what he do did he just come in a Kirkland bottle and just be like here you go that should be good enough it's hard to Sayer but it's it could be just as simple as the physician not being present oh like he's like I don't to see this ████ yeah that's SP like a TR the doctor's like all right uh ████ nurse
6:48 practitioner you handled this ████ you know how to do it so the doctor's supposed to be there when you bust not bust but the doctor's supposed to administer the actual the turkey baster the magazine in the cup turkey face a pad of the cup now you go what what a bizarre so it's called so but also keep in mind every state has different laws so like it just so happens there's another situation where a guy had agreed with uh his lesbian friend to donate a sperm so they went to uh he was from North Carolina but then they did the donation in Virginia where uh in Virginia that state law I guess it's like you you're free from from the child support if if you had like an a verbal agreement or something like that you shouldn't be doing ████ private party that's the issue here but some states that's okay
7:39 but then when he went home to North Carolina for some reason North Carolina was saying that he had to pay child support but then uh he got the verdict reversed by the appet court because the appet court said no we're going to go ahead and Rule it that wherever the donation took place that's the law that's going to um they're going to abide by yeah it's a weird thing why make it so hard on guys that are just trying to donate some ████ because maybe sometimes that's not the true story what would it be then well because if you were to lie and say like I donated that come yeah I donated that and she's like no that what that's not what we agreed on then you know it's hard to like settle the dispute but California the law is called section 7613 of the California Family Code that means as long as you donate through a licensed physician surgeon or sperm bank the donor can never be cons considered
8:30 the natural parent so you need a you need an in between you need you need you need to go and you can't just be like hey uh we're trying to get pregnant but I can't can I have some of your ████ and you're like you got to say can you have some of your ████ yeah yeah and you can have some ████ you got to get your ████ notorized yeah and if you don't go to a legitimate place you just ████ come in a Starbucks cup and then you give it to your friend and they get a turkey baster and ████ put it in a turkey baster imagine like what job do you have I'm the come notarizer yeah come notary who has to clean the basers is the real would it be in bad taste if you like prank your friends and then they agree to like do the the sperm donation and then you're you're let's say you're Korean and then you get your black friend and then you switch out the sperm and that's like a practical joke black you're asking if that's bad taste is that bad taste Oh I thought you were
9:20 saying like sperm roulette where like five dudes jizz in a cup and you mix it around and then you turkey base that one and see which one swims all the way you know what if you're not doing that you're not living life honestly roulette really about it that's kind of it's like credit card roulette but only different so not the same when you donate come do you get money for it or is a donation then why do they call it a donation you want to see how much they uh so you feel better about yourself you did charity work yeah cuz when you go to a blood drive right you don't get ████ paid you get a cookie I think you call it donation because if they said this is paid every guy would just be ████ doing it all the time everywhere and I think that's how they get around taxes too it's a donation but you get paid for the how much do you think donors make in California $30,000 a year what no not their sorry for the donation per one donation per donation not the average salary of a ████ guy
10:12 $50 huh $50 per come I say $50 close it's 150 for each acceptable sample 150 plus bonuses yeah come on dude but what kind of bonuses but it says that most donors it's a weekly thing that they do that why that should be illegal they get 100 a month that's crazy dude that should be illegal nobody should be paying their bills by coming in a cup if you come every day if you come every day it's not like 3g's yeah he sounded so trouble those guys come every day so like why I can be getting paid for my C yeah but have you guys heard about plasma donors blood plasma specifically what's plasma it's like blood but like it's level two blood they like separate it don't they plasma donors they make 56,000 a year dude I'll
11:03 donate some plasma yeah but you must be like tired every day though you're just sitting there like Li low energy dude this is California by the way so know no the sperm donor it says acceptable sperm do they mean white people oh yeah you got to be a specimen too what does that mean acceptable to broad shoulders they don't want ████ Harvard grad you got to have some cool traits I think like if you're if you're a five five guy yeah they're like nah player you can't have asthma they just lower the price they're like six bucks can't be flat footed yeah you can haggle they said you can haggle you know it could be it could be called a donation because they call it a sperm bank that's where the maybe donation comes from bar was saying it's tax I think it's tax Mak Mak sense though tax would you guys want like random genetics out
11:54 there of people that you're just like yeah I came so much in this sperm bank and there's like hella of kids out it happened it happened this a guy all stories we cover about he has over 100 Kids hundreds over 100 kids physicians remember the guy there was a physician who was switching his come out with everybody that's weird and then there was one guy who has like 150 kids so he's like telling cuz most people want the opposite most people want to have a lot of sex and no kids in this day age yeah like that's what most people want to do I would love to get paid to donate every day but unfortunately none of them make children you know oh what do you mean just so that I could get paid to do it cuz I don't think that that's like a hard job oh so you want to like do the job but not have a customer I thought you were saying you were shooting blanks cuz you you got you got a little as long as I get paid for it yeah because you're like oh I would do it every day but you know I just can't have kids would you guys be like psychologically would you
12:46 would that feel weird if like just knowing that there's a ton of maybe I think that's a little weird I think that's probably of mine I would I would I think that's I think you're supposed to feel weird about cuz I'd feel like oh am I supposed to take care of all these guys or which is why if we knew for a fact that we didn't have children out there because of it I'd be down to get paid I I did some risky stuff in my 20s and I cream pie it a lot and I'm like I'm glad I don't have any kids or maybe I don't know what about if it was in the guys of like or in the um aspect of helping a couple like if it was a lesbian couple that you and you love both of them and they want a kid and I feel like that's weirder when it's not a stranger oh yeah cuz you see the child cuz then now I'm going to be like you're going to judge them that's my kid and you're ████ raising this ████ cuz I think it takes a certain personality or a certain horoscope whatever they call
13:37 to to donate sperm and not care that your kids out there yeah it takes a certain kind of personality to do that yeah I think culturally it's different yeah it could be cultural but also like if it's your lesbian friends and then they ask you to do that and you know you're going to see your child all the time and then you at one at one point you're going to be like do I want my child to know that I'm the dad yeah right is that that's so weird that's super what if a Spur Bank were to contact you Bart and they're like hey we came across your stats and we think you're a great candidate we'll give you 50,000 for one sample so how many samples am I allowed to sell you just come all day one oh you do it one time one and done if I said 50,000 I'll be like are you sure you don't want it every day one is weird but if you could do like 20 samples then we're talking yeah right cuz it's like
14:28 that's just for ta you know what I mean it's like there's a one is like that's a so making a Bika but then if it's a TA Bika like a m k and you're like oh dude that's just the Army that's just that's just the part Army you know what I mean it's kind of like makes sense if you if you had to likees if you have to go to the mall right and then they're like dude go stab him you're like what stab him what he do but he feel like dude just stab 20 people like all right less personal I don't think that's a good analogy but I know exactly what you mean you're talking about art will get arrested first no it's like it's like it's like a cheat day right you're like dude have this cookie like no no no no and then you put a pile of food ah ████ it try one more just try one more No it's it's the law of scarcity absolutely
15:20 so you'd rather get paid 50,000 for 50 samples 50,000 per one sample but have to do 50 of them because in my mind it's still the same problem so when I have one kid I'm like ████ that's that one kid I don't know do I am I supposed to take care of them if there's 10 kids it's still like that's that one kids I don't know I need to take care of all of them it's still one problem it's just the problem is bigger but it's still one problem in my brain okay well how about would you sell your for 1,000 bucks don't way Jose no no no but it's not they're not going to make a kid that some dude just wants to drink it oh that's even weirder come on do it imagine a guy coming up to you like I like the way your ████ tastes I'm like o well what I want to know is how did he taste it first to know that he like yeah what happened that's weird he just
16:10 smells your fairmon you know you want to do that dude he comes up to you and you're like with your friends and they're like how does he know I want you to come to what I don't know dude I never met that guy never seen my life he's L don't listen to him crazy but how much again but it's a th000 what if he goes I'll do it for 50 only 50 times and he'll pay a th000 each time that's $50,000 no and then the last one he wants it directly in his mouth if it's got to be 50 times I tell you the first like 15 going like this the first 15 sucks but then when he gets desensitize number like 16 through 50 hey man I'm shipping it over again I think if someone wants to drink my ████ I'll think about it at 100 Grand I think no but you got to look but you got to look at it like this though you were saying like one sperm donor it's like too much but when you do like 10 it's cool so like
17:01 one time he drinks your your sperm it's like e it's weird but if he does it 50 times not that big of a deal it's the same problem one time cuz I'm going to look in his eyes and I'm and I'm and I'm going to see something he's going to look at me with these eyes that I've never seen before you guys say don't look at me no we're going to still have to make small talk in the waiting room I don't want to see his eyes your I like how Bart's doing this in a in a doctor's office we're in the waiting room together and he's going to look at me I'm going to put the magazine up here I'm going be in there he's like hey what's up Bart he man sorry I got to fill out I got to fill out my questionnaire I like the way it tastes yeah I I got to finish this up get the wrong idea of this guy he's he's disgusted with you he but he loves your come what yeah it's weird I know that's him it's shame he doesn't want to even look at you he doesn't want to talk to you one those things where like I'm
17:51 going to be like in bed trying to sleep and I'm like nightmares yeah I don't know this tricking what if what if the guy went to Gio first and used Gio as the middleman was like Hey Oh yeah yeah yeah this come yeah get this and I'll give you $2,000 and then Gio proposes it to you and then Gio goes hey Bart you make $1,000 hey you make 500 bucks dude you know what would make it work I think this is how it would work it it would be okay it would be free all right let's say let's say Gio gave me a ████ okay I busted in her mouth okay and then randomly she's on the bed and she goes off the bed and she drips it into the other guy's mouth and then he just comes out from the bed like this I'd be okay with that for some reason and you're aware of it yeah so you're saying you're getting out with a
18:42 dude lying on youred you're okay with that I think I'm okay with that wow for free for free by the way because this one's for free he's letting the strange man in his home no because the sperm I think the sperm went where it's supposed to go first there's a dude under your bed while you're a blow job no but that's that's the recycle bin it already you already used the bottle now the bottle goes basically a threesome with a guy for free I feel like you're taking donation too far still get PA you're doing too much yeah because it's like a it's it's a touchdown in the wrong goal I didn't know no it went in the right goal and then the ball bounced into a basket so wrong sport wrong sport yeah yeah yeah it changes dude honestly I didn't know that scenario was on the table no yeah no I didn't know I'm trying to make
19:32 it work I'm trying to meet halfway I didn't know that deals could go that way yeah I'm trying to meet him I to donate to sperm bank but check this out here's what I can do here's what I can do I don't want I don't want your $1,000 U what I would rather have you do is be there while I'm getting my uh dick suck and you see the guy take it finally it's kind of but he I like how he just pops out he's been waiting oh I'm going get some C today second ████ dude I'm glad we reached a final deal I can't wait to negotiate with Bart yeah like for anything like for anything make it work if it's that easy to get us ████ [Music]
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