0:00 [Music] so what do you guys know about the cleveland browns it's a football team they are they always suck didn't even give us a chance i don't think i don't think you will know so do they always suck did their quarterback get in trouble no how do you always suck in football like you never win a game from what i know yeah it was like them and the lions right like they're like the practice game the practice team that everyone beats up for like the generals or the generals i remember one draft like you got like this quarterback and you're supposed to like manziel right or something and he's supposed to be good but they say uh how does that happen it's like even more diggers yeah it was like the raiders when they got jamarcus russell marcus russell has an interesting story wait did the browns pick up deshaun watson did bronze picked up john watson gave 230 million dollars guaranteed after knowing that he had all of these
0:50 it was like 23 women 22 women at the time i think were suing him um based on saying that he was um trying to get massages from them and then he would start to do lewd sexual activity with them or try to uh solicit them to do like jacob and like so then the he was my brothel friend so so then this was this was all looked at by a grand jury just recently like just like a month and a half ago and they cleared desean and said no no no criminal charges will be filed right that doesn't mean that you can't have a personal yeah um lawsuit with him right like like civil lawsuit with him but but that means that he won't have any criminal whoa well so then the browns go guess what dude deshawn was so good because he was really good on the on the texans which is a dog ████ team as well that was the last team he was on i forgot about it and they cut him right
1:40 trash team trash city trash ownership everything awful where wait where's their city houston texas oh what a terrible city horrible city everything but horrible legacy no legacy at all houston texas suck ass right but him and jj watt right him and jj watt complete dog ████ of a person i'm kidding he's he's apparently agreed he's like a nice guy but he's in he's in the cardinals now so it doesn't matter but no so he um was playing so well for them but then he took a year off because basically he felt like the organization wasn't supporting him at all like he was too good for the organization so he was going to sit up right so then all these lawsuits start coming out and then all this momentum builds right so now he gets cleared and it looks like it's all good to go the browns go guess what we want you to buy our ████ quarterback we're gonna give you 230 million dollars guaranteed no matter what the ████
2:30 happens and that's pretty rare right oh bro it's the highest ever is that a payout in one year five years oh but but if and but usually it's not guaranteed but even if it gets injured it's 500 something million the contract right but the but the guaranteed money is what matters is there any athlete that gets paid that much the nfl i think in the end not in the nfl but nba nba yeah i guess steph curry and then mlb too it's like ████ wild tom brady just got a a 500 million contract to do um yeah fox sports for like 10 years yeah well as a commentator yeah or 350 million no but i mean like as a as a athlete like in a team no no athletes at the time rarely make the same money yeah right and then read most recently yeah i don't i think it was mahomes but i think it's that right they get these contracts but that doesn't mean
3:20 necessarily you're getting all that money because it's not guaranteed especially in nfl it's a little flighty because if you get injured or something you're out they don't continue to team can just cut you or they can um yeah they can just say like well we're gonna say but baseball contracts are legit though i heard they pay out for a long time and then the injuries are low and ████ and so the nfl pa has always had an issue nfl players association has always had an issue because the nfl has so much power that the nfl pa only until the really last decade have they been able to encroach on some of that power to get more money for the players because the players are really ridiculously underpaid for all the revenue that the nfl got but so deshawn just got 230 million dollars guaranteed right but he might not even play a ████ game for the brown what because there's a brand new lawsuit that came out so independent of the grand jury oh my god the new lawsuit just came out like last week like nine days ago
4:10 and this massage therapist she was watching this hbo special that they did on like the entire deshawn case and how deshawn was being defiant about it and not like necessarily apologetic towards the women he was being like very much like i am a classy man i did nothing wrong and ████ and so she was like you know what ████ you because i know what you did to me and she says that he during a massage like at the end of it he wanted her to jerk him off and she she wouldn't do it and then he basically jerked off on her whoa you just ████ just she took a little little selfie no we don't know we don't know damn so so we don't know what the extent of it is but but this is a really troubling new allegation for him and his team because now it's back to the criminal case right so the criminal case that everyone the
5:00 bronze thought was going to go away it's not double jeopardy because it's a new it's a new case new new woman came forward who wasn't part of the original case holy ████ so puts everything into questions all question marks boom explode all over the ████ but no matter what he gets the 230 million well that depends because there is there is a clause in the contract that it involves wrongdoing that could maybe work out in his against his right against the money yeah but but the browns look ████ is the whole thing yeah because they they're the curse and all that money yeah well they just they just also ████ over baker mayfield yeah who was their quarterback who actually won them the first playoff game like in but they're like we rather have this guy yeah exactly and so they just came out snaked him they actually were they actually were um in the discussion for a couple of players so matt ryan colts just got matt ryan because the falcons were like yo we um we want
5:52 to be in on the desean watson and sweepstakes because a lot of people wanted a lot of uh teams wanted to get deshawn watson because he was a free agent right because the charges were dropped and now you know the nfl texas let him go the kick they kept themselves had to cut him well they were trading him but they were only going to trade him because he had a he had a basically the first right to to decide where he wanted to go so so he could just say like i don't want to be on these teams so then the texans met with only teams that were that were pre-approved basically with certain packages that they were offering the texans for picks and then cash for deshaun yeah so yeah so this is crazy because this woman um basically holds his entire future in the balance that's why you just got to go to ████ dudes to get rubbed down honestly no really like one of my favorites one of my homies who's a massage
6:42 therapist does like some football guys and they get guys to do it for that reason so that that can't happen at all so they get happy endings from the dudes well you never know because guys won't talk it's bullies are that like no matter what like there's nothing there's no funny business no risk of like a girl like getting too horny yeah i will say though when guys you know when you go to the massage parlor then it's not like a chicken it's a dude a part of you is like oh man it's a dude and the next part of you is like oh man this might be real strong and you're down for it kind of interesting that happened to me because i was like i'm gonna request a lady because i just don't know you know this guy might be too horny and ████ he might come on at me because i'm there there was no ladies and then he was like i don't know he reminded me of bart's dad he was like come on come on come on i was like all right ████ it let's do this ████ and i sat down and as
7:32 soon as i sat down he just started going like this and i started melting like oh ████ this guy is good he started doing this ████ and i was like yup man you know what though his blunt hands just felt way better than a sharp woman's hand really did he start reaching for your inner thighs and start tapping it to see if you want him is that is that the same thing that happened no but he did a credit card and i went whoo is that how you paid so yeah the browns just the browns just alienated baker mayfield who was the starting quarterback who got them to win a playoff game because they were so horny for deshawn yeah right and then now deshawn might not play baker doesn't want to play one more down for them he actually put out an ad in a newspaper saying thank you to the browns fans and basically like i'll never play for the team again but thank you guys so ████ much and ████ and i'm sure people want him too right is he still part of the
8:22 fans do what's up that guy is still on the team he's still on the team he hasn't been cut by the team will they get fined if he doesn't play well no they're waiting he got benched they're waiting for a trade package yeah he's he's the second string quarterback on the team now but they're waiting for they're hoping to get a trade package for him but nobody ████ really wants him how crazy that because they were waiting for the draft and then now the draft's over they all kind of got settled in the quarterback situation so now maybe he'll be a backup somewhere but then the browns just basically had to say like hey we're about to do training camp training camp something right now as we talk right they don't have a quarterback they don't have a quarterback well they have desean still throwing the ball in training camp but they don't know that he'll actually be able to take the field for a regular season because the nfl has the right the roger goodell the the the guy in charge right he has the right to just say like hey he's suspended for this for the full season and then the browns could be fun so with no quarterback here and they just have to pay out all that money let's pay all that money but what
9:13 they actually structured his contract anticipating suspensions so he actually gets paid very very little for the first couple of games in order to to backload his contract wow so that they were like i said they were anticipating this they backload his contract so if he does get suspended without pay he's not getting paid those games anyway it was very minimal and he's such a really good he's such a good quarterback he was a good quarterback yeah he actually really was this is the perfect plot for water boy too [Laughter] where's adam sadler when we need him he just came out of the new movie it's pretty good too you mean the one with chris rock hustle yeah hustle he's a coach for the uh sixers sixers yeah pretty good he's good yeah but he's another one too and you're looking everywhere like he's getting old is he doing the like i show uh [Laughter] like a third of his movies he did that the same voice yeah yeah yeah his mr
10:04 deeds one yeah and a little nicky and mr deeds yeah little nicky was so good look it's great movie the only time i ever hear about the cleveland browns is when people use that uh figure of speech to say they're gonna go take a ████ yeah i'm going to take a clean one when they go where are you going i'm taking the cleveland browns to the super bowl that's so good have you ever seen the dog pound photo from cleveland the cleveland browns fans no this is worth it so um this is kind of a joke about really ohio in general um so they're they finally put up the money to get us good start players so hope that they can win and then they still suck because they're not gonna even get them so they're gonna still keep blue curse continues but there was a game where like like so the cleveland browns have this thing where they called themselves it's like this is the dog power like our stadium is the dog pound like we're you
10:55 know we're the ████ dogs or whatever right and um say it so they had a banner right and you have to you have to wonder when you're when you see something like this they had a banner like that was in three sections and it was like they're supposed to sell what spell out well this is the dog pound but then like the fans i don't think knew how to read or they were too drunk and so that's that's what turned into all ████ odds and that's the epitome of everything that happens in cleveland right there
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