0:00 Coral is up your ass. >> Yeah. Yeah. >> You're biting your lip and you don't know what's happening. >> Coming. You know why? >> Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. >> And then you get off and you're like, >> you're ashamed. >> I almost ████ died, dude. >> And the girls are all on the shoreline. You're just like, that was nothing. >> Welcome back to another episode of the Careful Boys. All right. >> So ████ up. >> It's okay, >> ████ >> I think it looks pretty good to me. At least you're not bringing any attention to it. >> There it is. Beat it dead. You >> look like the land lady from uh Kung Fu Hustle. That's the second time we referenced her, by the way. >> I saw him post about it, too. >> How about this? What's the cheapest thing that you ever got that has brought you a disproportionate amount of amazing joy?
0:50 >> Cheapest thing that brought you the most freaking joy, >> bro. Hot Wheels, dude. Hot Wheels are like a dollar and that I love it. Yeah. till this day. >> Sometimes, yeah, depending. >> No, but then like how much in total did you end up spending on Hot Wheels though? >> Cuz if you have like 400 Hot Wheels, that's >> I definitely I definitely do have like 400. But then but in in that sense, it's that >> I have more than that. But my mom told me like she was talking to Smack one day and she was like mentioning how like, oh, when Ryan was a kid, like all you had to do was buy him one little car and then he'll just play with that for the whole year. She said that like that it was like easy to keep me entertained because I loved cars so much when I was a like little kid. >> Now you need to buy him five rear cars.
1:41 >> Yeah. That that's all I needed. If you just gave me one car that was just this kid, you know, for the rest of the that's it. And I never got >> noises with your mouth. >> Oh, dude. You know what I would do? I would I would make movies in my brain and that car is like the main character kind of thing. >> That's what I would do with action figures when I was a kid. I would make them just fight each other all the time. >> How old are you as a kid? >> Bro, honestly, I stopped playing him when I was in middle school and I was embarrassed. I was I did the same thing though. I did the same. >> I was so like I was like hiding him and I was like I didn't want to let him go, you know? >> Yeah. >> Do you guys remember when um that magic you were just trying to play and you're like it's not ████ hitting no more. >> Oh yeah. Like the imagination just kind of went away and you're like this is stupid. You know when it stopped you when it stopped for me is literally when I started >> thinking about like you know >> jacking off. >> Yeah. A lot more. >> Oh that replaced it. >> It kind of replaced it for me.
2:31 >> I'd rather play with yourself that way. >> But then that's more of imagination. >> You're really in the land source material. >> No, no, no, no, no. Remember at when he started jacking off, the internet was already kicking hard. >> Oh, you're right. >> Better material. >> No, I still had to search. I still had to do get my my my elbows. >> What type of cable or internet did you have at that time? >> It would have to be through friends DVDs. >> But you were you were like jerking it to like non porn, right? >> Oh, yeah. For sure. >> Yeah. That's the thing, too. You just you look at like a normal image as a kid and you pornify it in your brain. >> Yeah. >> You know, like cataloges. >> If you got lucky, you could find some we call them yos. That was our We call them We put a Y in front of it and we say we're looking for yorn. That's what we would say. So, we we thought we were smart, dude. The other person would >> bunch of our friends. A bunch of little morons. Little yos. Who say your nose?
3:23 You got some yornos on you. >> Hey dude, you got some yography. >> We're really ████ We're geniuses. >> You got some yayography. >> Check out this yorn star. >> If we want to call things uh boobies or or titties, we call them yetis. >> Oh, that's that's like Jewish sounding. >> Is it? >> Yeah, it's cool. >> It's Yiddish. >> Got a bunch of Yiddish friends. You guys are ████ brilliant. >> But you're smart, dude. We had a bunch of code names. >> Nobody knew. >> So your action figure turned into your dick? >> No. No. Not not like immediately. But >> I'm just saying if there was a correlation with when I stopped playing with them, it was when really into like, hey, if I want to start talking to ladies, I got to stop playing with these toys. >> I think I got in trouble is how it like snapped because like with all my cards, I used to give them names like they were people and ████ like all of them had like names and biographies and
4:14 backtories and ████ I just make stuff up. And then one time like I think I was writing in the book where I like the lexicon of all the information so I don't forget it. And then my mom was like what's this little kid ████ like way like later in life and I was like oh man I guess too old for that now. >> How old were you? >> So I threw it. It's because I was also getting bad grades. >> Like you're too busy writing a ████ car profile. I don't remember how old I was, but I just remember that like she found my book of like basically like where I would just write characters and make stories or just I would make RPGs. She found my book of that when I should have been studying and she threw it. So then that was like a hard line of like, oh ████ all right, >> I can't do this anymore. >> I better start doing homework. >> That's embarrassing when your parents tell you you're like a Imagine he did the he had the entire code already for a whole RPG that was going to be like the greatest Sega franchise ever created.
5:04 Yeah, but then I think it's one of those things where like if you you have to be getting good grades to be able to ████ around and I wasn't. So I'm like I get it. >> That's true. >> You got to earn that right to like have your extracurricular. >> Hey, brilliance comes in different forms, my friend. >> Yeah, but I'm still Asian so I got to do both. >> That's true. >> Or die. >> I remember um I was in the uh Boy Scouts as a kid and one of the things that you have to learn how to do is like read a compass and like a map, right? And oftent times during this era they they had just started coming out with these plastic compasses um that also had like a magnifying glass like just like this little circle type of magnifying thing just kind of in the middle of the top. I remember we were just at the at the weekend park, you know, where we do our like boy scout meetings and like learn our skills and practice ████ in between the camps. And I was just like like days
5:55 like not paying attention as a kid, just days just like holding my compass cuz we were doing a compass experiment. And then I was like, ah. And I had burned a hole in my pants. >> And then I had discovered for the first time that a magnifying glass >> that I had in my possession could start fires. And so then I started being like, I really want to practice compass reading outside >> and yo, I started burning and but it couldn't burn like crazy. It couldn't like it couldn't crazy start fires. Plus, I wasn't aware. I was really really young. Yeah. I I wasn't aware that like a dead or a dry thing could burn better than like a live or like you know a plant or whatever. But it's it's once I started that discovery and that transcendence and then once I started realizing like what I could do like ants
6:45 like little insects, that's when ████ got real ████ up. >> Damn, dude. >> What would you do? What was your style of torture? >> My stopping point cuz the ants is like you're so disassociated because they're so small. You don't see their ████ faces. You don't see their eyes. You don't see the souls. >> You don't hear them screaming for help. >> Yeah. Nothing nothing really happens. >> Screaming for their family to come save them while they're on fire. You first see them once you're trying to like stop a line, you know, you're putting a magnifying glass there. You see it kind of them speed up and kind of squirm. Then you're like, "Ah, that's not fully satisfying." So you're like, "I really need to like get one, you know, and really just like see what happen." So then, so then you target one and you just keep falling. No matter where it goes, the game >> the game is now following. >> That's ████ up. You could have been a drone operator. >> But it's tough because you can't just follow and point you as it moves. You
7:35 have to proportionately move. >> Dude, it could have been a B-52, bro. Just >> You have to proportionally move to like where the sun's angle is as like the thing's moving. I feel like that started teaching me an understanding of like actual ████ physics and stuff. >> You were being a space laser basically. >> Uh but then I stopped I think once I got to a roly poly. >> Oh. >> And it was it was just bigger and it was something something hit and it was sadder >> the way that it like was writhing. >> Yeah. cuz it was slower and you could you can kind of see death. >> You see the anatomy of what you're actually and like the smell too. You could smell more cuz there's more burning meat, >> more flesh. >> Yeah. >> That's when I stopped. >> That's good. >> See, and that's the key. You have to stop. >> Yeah, >> cuz like after yourself. >> Yeah. Yeah. I'm glad I stopped. >> It might be monk seals one day. >> Yeah. >> Who got a magnifying trying to burn a monk seal?
8:25 >> Yeah. Cuz every kid has that exploration, but then they, you know, usually they stop. >> Yeah. Maybe maybe your dream of being Jeffrey Dmer just wasn't in your cards genetically. Like you just don't have the genetic >> make. It's not it's not in us to end snail vision. There's always a chance. Maybe it's just Thorman. >> I think you tested it. I think you need >> to stop, man. >> Well, now that I'm talking about this old story, suddenly I'm feing at the mouth. >> And once you stop at Roly Pulley, it's like it's not for you. >> It's not for you. You're not >> you can't be Michael Jordan or this game stuff. But man, I played with a ████ that compass was like >> I really enjoyed it. >> I remember when I found my first magnifying glass. I found my grandpa's magnifying glass and it was heavy duty. >> Yeah, your boy was sitting. >> I wished I see at that point I started wishing I had a giant one. >> I was fire obsessed. >> And talk about one of the cheapest things cuz all the things, you know, we
9:16 had just a whole shed of just >> Did you used to play around with the where you have hairspray and a lighter? Oh yeah, I did all I would try to do a thing where I would make a trail and like >> set on fire and it would light up like I was doing stuff like that. Yeah. >> Do you think all boys have a pyro phase? >> Yeah, for sure. Of course. >> Till this day I I have a little bonfire like on my house and then I'm like I love burning ████ >> Joby like we'll be doing a bonfire and then like he'll start poking at it and I'll try to talk to him. He just doesn't listen to me. He's just he's just his his mind is in the fire. Yeah, >> he's he's locked in >> to be fair. To be fair, okay, and I'm thinking like Avatar the Last Air Bender style. All right, take fire out for just a second because that's the one that can like cause death and damage. >> Do we not also all like love like water guns or water parks? Do we not ████ run in the grass? Do we like dive in the
10:07 sand in the ocean? You know what I mean? >> If I had a power washer when I was a kid, >> like we do all of it. Fire just happens to be dangerous. I don't think boys are just like innately evil. I just think we do all of it. >> Yeah. I didn't associate with I just curious and like oh well if this burned what would happen here and it gets the fire gets bigger and bigger and bigger. >> It's the perfect way to experiment. >> The first time you went with your friends to like Bosuch Chica and you do a bonfire and you start throwing random ████ in it and it gets >> Hey, what about this lighter? >> It gets huge. >> You bring those batteries at the end. The feeling of everybody peeing to try and put it out. >> Yeah, dude. That was fun, man. >> I would I've never done that. >> You got to get it out of your system. I feel like, >> you know, or else, who knows if that hits you in in your adult age >> or you got to be kind of comfortable with it a little bit. >> Fire's your friend kind of. >> Yeah. You kind of have to learn how to like almost get burned and almost get out of control and then be like, "Oh, that could have been real bad." But
10:58 >> I brought it back down. Okay. >> There's got to be a >> like like you know what I'm saying? Like as a young lad, you kind of have to you get a bit of feeling. >> Yeah. Because you have to be comfortable with it. >> There has to be some kind of like >> just like the ocean. You feel the same way when you do the ocean. You're like, "Oh, this is sick." And then you get thrashed by a wave and you go, "I could have died." >> Yeah. >> I'm gonna come back. You Yeah. You go sit down for a little bit and then after the water, you come back out. You're like, "All right, I'm going to be better." Careful. >> The first time you get dunked in the water and then you look up with your eyes and the surface is way the ████ up there and you're just like, "What? God, are you real?" >> Or you get >> you get put in the spin cycle and you can't come up. That is some real ████ Yeah. >> Yeah. >> And you try and take a breath in and you just get brought right back under. You get like half. You go.
11:48 >> You know the first time you take a giant gulp of salt water and it just feels you just want to throw up right away. >> You got to feel that. >> And and you're coughing while you're getting dunked in the water and you're just like getting some water, some air, ████ choking and ████ Oh, >> coral is up your ass. >> Yeah. Yeah. You're biting your lip and you don't know what's happening. >> Coming. You know why. >> Yeah. Yeah. And then you get off and you're like, you're ashamed. >> I almost ████ died, dude. And the girls are all on the shoreline. You're just like, that was nothing. >> You see me catch wave swim. That's how I swim. >> That's how I come. >> Oh, yeah. I don't need a board. I body surf actually. >> I body surf. >> Yeah, I catch all the waves. I don't need a board. >> I use my whole body. >> I like rolling around. You know what I mean? >> I like getting tossed around by mother nature. You like getting thrashed
12:38 >> most of the time. Like that your question about like finding so much pleasure out of like little things is probably from the childlike imagination you have, right? >> Yeah. >> Most of it. >> Well, even now I think like certain things like so a lot of fun things come for free. Like if you just in nature ████ getting thrashed by the ocean like that ████ is pretty fun. But I don't think it cost anything. It's just gas money. Yeah, nature nature's always good, but nature's is always like it's ironically always available and yet so like far from a person's normal day-to-day mind to like, you know, it feels like it feels like the turn off your brain, but then you got you get all guilty and ████ cuz you got ████ to do. D I ████ I went swimming the day before I flew in and I was sitting there with with Hannah just like on a beach blanket like eating chips and ████ and I'm like, damn, dude. like this is sick.
13:31 Like we should do this every day. And I look over and there's literally a family that lives on the beach and I'm like they get to do this every day. And in my mind I'm like I'm not even recognizing it's cuz they're poor. It's cuz they get I'm just like looking over like this is sick. They get to do this every day. >> You walk by them and you go you guys are living the dream and you just think it's funny cuz I feel like that's kind of the whole thing of finding pleasure out of little cheap things. sort of is the main thing that I like. >> Yeah. >> Like we were um this one time we were during Quest like me and Eris were late coming down for lobby call cuz we just put a mug in the hotel room and we were trying to throw cards into it and we were just like so fixated on trying to get cards into the mug and then our manager was hell pissed off and he knocked on the door. What the ████ you guys doing? And then he we open the
14:21 door. Well, we're trying to get these cars in the mug. He goes, "Let me see that s███." And then all three of us are trying to throw cards in the monk. Hello late. And it's like that's kind of the definition of like that's I think the most fun I have is from the simplest things. >> That's ████ guy ████ dude. For real. >> It's guy ████ That's exactly what I'm talking about. >> Let me see that ████ >> Yeah. Like if we started throwing little like you just >> cuz I know cuz you've done that to us. >> Exactly. And it's like if you see guys you don't know doing it somewhere in public, all you think is I wish I ████ knew those guys. >> Yeah, those guys are sick. Yeah. Yeah, man. Those guys are ████ cool, dude. >> That's why bar games are all ████ like that, >> you know, like darts for people to gather. >> Yeah, it's just dumb little s████.
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