0:00 rip up a ████ chunk of it put it on me and ████ dive in the corner pretend I'm part of the turf and tell them chaos and people like hey there's more there's more floor to walk on let's go walk on that floor [Music] all right I know how much we hate to actually report real news here I love reporting the real news usually it's a downer no this one's a downer we said that about the last one dude I don't know what you're talking about you refuse to be down to buy this I love down knees very positive about this guy that's very good it's important we have a positive person here also you look really great in that shirt you look like an Asian Mr Clean right now oh thank you I appreciate that this is a Kirkland Signature is do it I ████ smelled it I was like why does that look so quality I didn't want to ask I'm a big fan of curling signature um yeah I have a brand deal coming out today this month all right so speaking
0:50 of curriculum signature that's terrible um there was an Indonesian football match that recently just happened oh like soccer uh yeah soccer would be the appropriate American soccer dude it's soccer uh and then right after these two rival teams if you will kind of like had their this is the the incident occurred pretty much after a match between oh man I'm gonna butcher this per se Baya Surabaya beautiful at conjuru Han stadium in Malang Regency East Java oh ████ Flawless that's pretty good dude that was not bad right not bad at all not bad thank you thank you it's happened last Saturday night um everybody the fans started storming the pitch after the game because people were like it was an upset people were unsatisfied you know people started just like running onto the field is this professional soccer or kids soccer this
1:41 is not kid soccer this is AYSO this is this is not kid soccer I believe this is professional soccer but Bart thinks like thousands of people go to kids soccer I have a I have a better question I don't I've always heard people say this what is the pitch what is that why are you looking like that I don't know what the pitch is you mean just like coming out onto the field is it is it a field it's a like a stadium like a soccer a football stadium oh it's the actual place okay I hear him said on Ted lasso I don't know what the ████ that means we're usually running out onto the field okay yeah I believe somebody correct me but just say field then I just said feel ████ you only go American you want me to go Euro let's go Euro America let's go I
2:33 want you to try I want you to German accent my dream is not that good your German is the best German we have in the room and I'm German so you give me the pass no yeah you got the pass and you can say Nazi as much as you want I love saying that you can say it so a bunch of people run onto the field right and then police and and responders are there and then they start trying to crowd control but they start throwing tear gas now that's against FIFA codes so this is actually like a endorsed like professional sporting event at a stadium but the police are trying to ████ write control and they're throwing like tear gas and people started getting ████ freaked out they start sprinting towards a particular like exits and and people start getting crushed and trampled and they can't breathe and this ends up being the most horrific accident and 125 people have been accounted for
3:24 as dead at the current moment holy ████ another great article Anthony it's the new show we gotta bring the news here okay oh god dude we all let people know uh why don't we talk about Indonesian beaches or something yeah let's talk about top favorite Indonesian dishes this guy's I guess we could yeah we could just switch it up right now just talk about food but honestly my biggest fear is getting crushed to death in a crowd of people and now we're off the food part yeah which one do you want Anthony okay uh either running with the bulls though have you seen those videos I hate those videos yeah he's been it was a very fun time dude I gotta say though watching like Florida dads in there is the best ████ ever because because they're like it's like instant like they're building themselves up hiding themselves up like I'm gonna have an experience you know and then as soon
4:15 as ████ starts they're like you can see the oh ████ like start to take over their eyes like this is wild yeah like what the ████ did I get myself into yeah watching anybody who's like not super athletic in a very very heightened Human Experience of just like mob movement is ████ crazy love it I need to see dudes with Fat Tuesdays with fat with fatter guts doing some new balances white New Balance let's go but um this got me thinking even as I was reading this because we had once I think Ryan brought up an article one time it might have been um I don't know if it was like school shootings or something but like things to do or in certain situations and just like mentally like where to put yourself because as I was reading this I was thinking about like what what would I do let's say if I was on the field and then suddenly things started going crazy crazy ████ easy you know what I would do okay I would go to the ████ turf
5:05 rip up a ████ chunk of it put it on me and ████ dive in the corner and pretend I'm part of the turf until the chaos and people like hey there's more there's more floor to walk on that floor there's that bumpy floor oh wow look at that floor that floor is completely open right now run over it run over it there's all this space but they all cultivate to this one spot isn't that the whole point like dirt that's why you're getting crushed you can't find floor yeah Bart's killer idea is to become more floor the remote areas of the pitch maybe once you move they run on you maybe like the safe Zone genuinely the worst problem solving I've ever heard it's quite the opposite I'm walking away from the exits try it okay
5:56 because that's how you want to get trampled faster even better then okay when you're trying to exit a place you're looking for the easiest way out right yeah so you go for the exit right I'll get paint I'll paint a staircase on me close to me hair case still a floor still something that people walk on the hard way but he's the worst painter they're like we'll wait for the elevator thank you Bart finds a door on the ground he picks up the door and he holds it and he hides behind the door he's like oh and then he and then behind the door he's like oh God I'm so I'm so lucky I found this door thank God there's a big Asian guy in this room stop on him the weird thing is that like what you can't even apply things that like real protocol to this because the the uh
6:48 police did something they weren't supposed to do apparently yeah yeah because the FIFA rules or some ████ so why are they I didn't even know that there were FIFA rules on how police can handle riots did you know that I don't know people I had like superseded yeah police jurisdiction that's crazy it's probably because it probably because all the soccer games get pretty wild don't they yeah they do get like all the little hooligans they they'd be trying to like fight each other all the time yeah but this more people have died in this than any of those s████ that's crazy yeah yeah with over 300 other people being injured like the 320. how many people are in the stadium you said oh this is probably like because the main thing is that tear gas is supposed to disperse crowds away from where the gas is but if there's no more floor gassing the ████ exit where the crowd's trying to get out and they're ████ dead and also though we got to think about this here's where another
7:38 problem was the uh they had issued 42 000 tickets for a stadium that holds a maximum of 38 000 oversold there you go Asian style but also it's like once people all go crazy in a crowd environment you're kind of ████ what else yeah that's why you don't oversell that's why you know all these things why was everyone on the field they got too hyped basically they're losing uh the losing team people they just like got pissed off so they just ran onto the field which means that the winning team people also like run onto oh it's one of those I see and it just turned into a giant like how the ████ did this escalate it just cluster functions in America's terms this is like Eagles fans if they win or lose yeah either way yeah either way yeah Philly's ████ they're destroying the city yeah but yeah even then there's still ways you can you know they're still like safe ways to protocol against that ████ like that's the
8:28 closest I've ever been to something like this was I was at the khabib Conor fight where khabib jumped the fence still like whip on Connor oh yeah if so it's like you know like the UFC is very structured you have the announcer come out here is the fight after that happened Dana White comes out with the belt like you know what's gonna happen um when khabib hops the fence and starts wailing on the dude and in Conor's fight and the other his teammates are inside and it's just a big ass Rumble going into that fight like half the fans were khabib fans like you could just tell with like their beards and ████ and then the other like Nadim style right and then the other are like fake Connors so like purple vests like everyone thinks they're like some Irish like Suave like mob type dude and when that ████ went off to the left and right of me everyone was fighting all in the stands people just wailing on each other for no reason no reason and then I go and I'm like
9:20 like I'm like oh she get the ████ out of here when we go into uh behind the bleachers you know where they have like all the concessions down there you buy corn dogs and ████ people just wailing on each other dude like your husband's wife they're there they're like they're hanging out and like I should punch you in the ████ face I don't know why they're doing it I'm gonna ████ choke you out right now I need a beard somebody give me a beard the ████ Cooks come out with Cleavers and ████ they just everyone was wailing on each other and I was like holy ████ this is scary because I was also wearing uh both the khabib hat and a Conor McGregor shirt because I was a fan of both oh no because I wore both of them and I'm like oh yeah I should probably get the ████ out of here you're like I need to go pick up some ████ floor some bar problem solving right linoleum you can't pick that up was there anybody on a mic going stop fighting no so what
10:10 was crazy is going into that fight keep fighting already I think they knew there's gonna be a lot of attention so these were like the ████ craziest like super cops I've ever seen you know like universal Soldier everyone looks like Michael Jai White and ████ going into the ████ Stadium like where the ████ did they find these seven foot police officers or Jack but they're already at the bottom I think they could already uh sense detention and when that fight broke out they just shut the lights off over the Octagon to let everyone know like calm the ████ down and usually at the end like Dana White will come out and say Hey thank you everyone for coming you just see all of like the big wigs they just all exit while everyone's still wailing on each other so like the whole event just ended unofficially and everyone's still willing to know each other it was crazy but you know they're still walking out they're like this is going to be great for business yeah for sure sort of a metaphor for how the world will end
11:01 all the rich people just went oh yeah I'm just gonna peace out into my little shelter and then we're all gonna kill each other [Music] foreign
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