0:00 All right, let's say that your mom, uh, became single again. >> Jeez. >> She is single. >> Yeah, she is single. And let's say if she Let's say if she asked you, um, to find her a guy that you think would be right for her. >> Oh. >> What kind of dude would you look for? >> ████ horny dude. >> Horny dude? Just horny? >> Keep her busy so that she doesn't ████ text me all the ████ time. >> And you think sex is the immediate answer? >> her to like she's ████ 24/7. >> He wants her to get plowed so she goes to sleep at >> I want her to to make those reels where it's like she's always getting she's always dragging the floor and a dude is like pulling her back into the room. >> [laughter] >> Oh my god. >> Or she's like, "Oh, damn." Like 8:00 a.m., 8:00 p.m. ████ dude. >> So you'd like those reels? >> Yeah, she's like, "Oh, no more time for Buddha." >> Do you think the the reason why she's intense is cuz she needs to get ████
0:52 >> Maybe. >> What What uh What race would the guy be, do you think? >> Oh, it's got to be Chinese cuz they got to they got to like communicate, you know. >> You think there's a Chinese guy that horny? >> Yeah, but how about this? >> Kong, >> [laughter] >> or like Taiwanese, or like mainland. Uh, well, we we saw that Cantonese speaking doesn't work out already. So, maybe Taiwanese. >> I think it should be a black guy that's hella into kung fu. >> [laughter] >> Oh, like kung fu Kenny. Yeah, and they could speak Mandarin. Like Jim Kelly. >> [laughter] >> Yeah, cuz he'll chill her out, but he's also into the kung fu ████ and the Shaolin stuff. >> I'm also scared my mom might get canceled cuz she's going to say a bunch of racist ████ to him on the >> Oh, okay. >> My mom was single. She just found a man. >> Oh, she did? >> Yeah. >> No way. That's tight. What kind of guy is he? >> Korean dude, long ponytail. >> Oh, cool. >> met him like last month.
1:42 >> Long ponytail sounds cool. >> It was It was like weird >> Is he your age? >> No. >> [laughter] >> Dude, it was a It was a weird interaction, to be honest. Like, I came [clears throat] in and she's just like, "Hey, you know, this guy is here." And I was like, "This guy? What the ████ do you mean, this guy?" I go in and I'm already reading the room and I'm like, "Oh, this guy is your new man?" >> But she introduced him as this guy? >> Yeah. >> Not my boy. She wanted you to do the math on that. >> I Yeah, I know. She doesn't really want to tell me anything, I guess, but I went in cuz I was like, "I got to take a s███." She's like, "What? Where?" I was like, "Your house." >> Oh, that's how you found out. >> cuz I got to I'm driving by and I was like, "I got Mom, I got to take a s███." Like >> Oh, so she's been keeping it a secret. >> low-key about it, but then I was like, "Mom, I'm coming in." And she's like, "All right, but just let you know, this guy is there." I was like, "What the ████ I don't give a ████ I got to take a s███." >> He's eating me out. what she said, right? >> Disgusting, man. >> [laughter] >> She He brought you in. >> So, I pull up. >> And he's in the And he's in the bed.
2:34 Brain rotting on the phone. >> He's already He's drinking, you know, soju and ████ eating some pork belly. And I said, "Damn." I was like, "What's up?" I was like, "Annyeonghaseyo, ahjussi." >> Like Like he was Like that's his house. >> Yeah, he like sitting down, legs up. And I was like, "All right. All right. You comfortable. That's fine with me." And he's just like, "Oh, wow. I thought you were much smaller." >> That's what he said? >> Yeah. >> In Korean? >> Yeah, in Korean. And I was just like, "Oh." >> [laughter] >> Like younger or smaller? >> Smaller. He's like, "Wow, you're actually a little bulky. I thought you were going to be skinnier." And I was just like, >> [laughter] >> Yeah, yeah, yeah. And then the weirdest part was I sit down. I'm having dinner with him to show some respect. And then, you know, he he goes, "You know, I just want to let you know I don't hit your mom when I'm drunk." >> What? Honestly, that's huge. That's very
3:25 polite. >> of the first things I'll think when you said he was already there, legs up, drinking soju, eating pork belly. >> If he said If he says it, it sounds like he does it. >> Yeah. >> I thought he was like Don't listen to your mom when she says that she beats that I beat her ass. >> How would he bring that up? >> was That's what I said, right? In my head, I'm like, "Why would you even talk about >> Strange thing to say. >> He probably got scared looking at Soob in the eye. >> But honestly though, when they're When you're dating at that age though, you do try to cut the the So, some of the Some of the chicks that my dad will be dating, they will just be like, I just want to let you know I already got my citizenship. So, they just like, whatever you're assuming, cut the ████ >> Fast tracking. Yeah, that >> That's funny to me because that must be so common that he's like, I'm not like those guys that beat wives. Cuz it's so ████ common. >> It's in every K-drama, by the way. >> [laughter] >> Well, who knows, right? What if my mom told him
4:16 what my my dad must have done or been I don't know. I don't know, right? Cuz I never seen it, but >> That's just a funny opener. >> For me, it was just like, I don't know if that's like a culturally thing, so I'm not going to judge you too much. I'm just going to say, whatever, I'm going to have my assumption. So, he said, so don't worry, I'm not going to hit your mom. I looked at him smiling. I said, I'm not worried. >> [laughter] >> That's gangster. >> He was just like, oh, wow, wow, wow, very nice. And I said, okay. I was just like, uh and and then that's when, you know, I was just like, hold on, bro. How am I going to knock this fool out? So, I was just like, >> [laughter] >> Why? What? I thought you were having an amicable conversation. >> We we are, but I'm just saying like, if I had to >> assessing the situation. It's like looking for exits in the room when you walk into a spot. >> If it came down to it. >> Before anything else, I always just like, I always figure out how would I
5:07 knock him out. Do I have to hook him or give him an elbow? His chin's glass. You can tell. So, I was just like, okay, this is not going to be a [laughter] problem for me. So, and [snorts] then I move on to how was your day? Let's have dinner. Let me pour you a drink, and we go from there. Now, let's see how you act drunk. So, I keep pouring him drinks. [laughter] >> Yeah, that's smart. >> I assess the situation. I and he keeps pouring me drink, and I just put it to the side. You know what I mean? And I keep sipping on it. And by the time he's like faded, he's giggling and having fun. I'm just like, but don't get that confused, you know what I'm saying? Cuz giggling and having fun can also have uh uh anger behind it. So, I just keep watching him. He's doing good. Next thing you know, he's too tired. He go passes out on the couch. I'm like, "Cool." I wake up 5:00 in the morning
5:57 the next day, this guy and my mom's cuddling. I'm like, "Oh, what the ████ is this?" That ████ was disturbing. But, hey, I'm very happy for my mom. >> That's great. Heck yeah, dude. >> No matter >> How long have they been together now? >> I don't know. I didn't ask. But, at the end of the day, I'm super happy. >> Do you know where they met? >> Didn't ask. >> or something. >> I didn't even ask. >> [laughter] >> You got so much wrong. You never asked him >> Yeah, what what were you asking? He was just pouring him drinks and staring at him the whole time. >> [laughter] >> And he was just like >> No, no. It was just like it was weird because and for me it kind of felt like he was trying to size me up. >> Well, it sounds like you were doing the same thing. >> No, I wasn't. I was just like, "Oh, wow." >> You literally like, "How am I going to knock this guy out?" [laughter] >> That's after he said that, right? >> Oh. >> But, in the beginning I came in. I'm going to just say, "Hey, I'm here. I'm going to eat with you." But, soon as he said, "I thought you were going to be smaller and a lot more skinnier." I was
6:48 like, "Okay, you're sizing me up from the get the time I walked in." >> It was No, it's probably it's probably just a regular thing that your mom would do, right? It's like >> Show you picture show his pictures. >> Imagine the dude. He's sitting there. He's like trying to build this relationship. He's like he's like, "Oh, she has a son." But, it's also like a dude who uh all tatted up just came back from boot camp. And when he comes through the door >> I was in my OCPs. I was in my military uniform cuz I just finished drill. >> Yeah, this is literally the That's like it's it's this is a K-drama. >> I I kind of I guess. >> It's not just a random son who's visiting home. She was showing him pictures of your younger years without the tattoos and all that. And he goes, "Woah, that's a cute son." And then he sees your ass going, "Man, what the f███?" >> [laughter] >> You got catfished. >> It probably It probably was that, but uh you know >> He's probably like, "Dude, this guy's
7:38 sizing me up." >> How is he not sizing you up if you come in with your ████ uni unis on ████ >> Yeah, I had my unis on, I had my ████ you know, rug on and everything. I was just like, "What the f███?" >> That's like literally the farthest example of like, "All right, my son's just coming home from boot camp." >> He's just coming to take a ████ [laughter] >> Yeah, but then I was just I needed to take a ████ And that's how it all happened and then it >> And you got him drunk and then >> Didn't ask him anything. >> Never talked to him. >> Just kept pouring No, we were just talking about like random ████ at that point, you know, when you >> Your mom was probably cuddling with him to calm him down cuz he was probably like, "I think your son's going to kick my ass, man." [laughter] So, no, no, no, no, it's okay, it's okay. And he's a ponytail guy. Ponytail guys are nice. >> He's like, "I got a glass chin. I know I got a glass chin." >> First thing I ask, right, is what do you do? >> Yeah, what does he >> What does he do? >> Yeah, I don't know that many Korean >> contractor. >> Okay. >> First of all, that's already funny. Like in the Asian culture, how many sons come and look at dude a older man, "Hey, what
8:29 do you do?" >> I did. I did. So, Bong she sing song What do you do, uncle? >> [laughter] >> Chris ahjussi, matter of fact. >> Okay, okay, okay, okay, okay. >> Yeah, yeah, that's I thought. Chris ahjussi, what do you do? >> [snorts] >> Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. I general contractor for 20 years now. I've been doing this for a long time. And I'm like, >> [laughter] >> "You make good money. I like it. You make good money, help my mom." She You know what I mean? I told him >> Should have tested him on houses. >> Like you said, right? I cut the ████ and I said, "You make good money. You're going to help my mom out. That's all I want to hear." >> Then what did you talk about for the next 5 hours? >> Nothing. I let them talk and I >> Oh, they were talking. Oh, she was there. >> Yeah, she was there. >> We didn't know that. >> No, she was there. >> It was like a 1 v 1. >> [laughter] >> It seemed like she wasn't there, right, because >> She was in the corner with a referee
9:19 outfit. >> I >> [laughter] >> It was just funny because my mom was a little worried like well, how it was going to go. >> Yeah. >> So, she's over here keep feeding me meat. >> Oh, nice. >> Yeah, she was cooking. Heck, yeah. >> Yeah, regular mom ████ >> Yeah, you know, regular regular mom stuff and then she's just worried about what I was going to say cuz she knows I'm unhinged. >> [laughter] >> I was literally picturing just you two in an in an interrogation room basically. >> Well, it felt like that because my mom was just doing doing bouncing around but then the Chris I had to see and this guy was just ████ I mean Chris I had to see and me were just >> [laughter] >> There's another guy? >> And what do you call it? Just a light on us and we're just like just just feeling each other's energy and it didn't feel off. >> So did you outside of that have you hung out again or saw him again? >> All I heard was he helped me with my Elijah's catering
10:11 financially. So I was just like, oh wow, thank you. Thank you. Thank you. >> cool, man. >> Very nice of you and I said, hey, like I said, you make money, you take care of her, we're good. >> Forgiveness round for like one slap. That's it. Is that okay? Like one slap? >> Not even like a forgiveness round but I'm just like let's say great. >> That's your key to the 50 Gs in 3 days. >> Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. >> I'm about to hit him up. >> [laughter] >> I'm like, yo, come on now. >> Does he have kids? >> Nah, I think he's I don't know what his story is. Like I didn't even ask any of that. >> That's like kinda important. >> That's the ████ thing. What the ████ did you ask him? >> Suban's the guy who talks about himself the whole time, never asked you anything. >> I didn't ask any ████ about me, Steve. I didn't say ████ about me. >> You don't even know how they met. You don't even know how they met, dude. That's >> I went straight to the point. You got bread? You're not dangerous? You're here for my mom? That's all I need to know. >> I feel like am I going to have a half brother or sister is a pretty good point
11:01 to have in there. >> We're not going to get there. I'm telling you right now. That's >> Do you think it's going to last with with him and your mom? Do you think they're going to >> As long as the money's flowing. >> Huh? >> Do you think it's going to last? >> I don't know but I hope so. I hope it does. >> I I don't mind. >> Cool. >> He's cool. >> He seems to match your mom pretty well. >> Seems to match my mom pretty well and then I called my little brother. My brother was like, yo, just let him know like if he touches mom, I'm coming down. I was like, oh ████ hey, don't worry. >> [laughter] >> I'm here. Cuz that's how me and my brother are. We're always going to protect our mom. >> Did your Did your Your get her ass beat by the by your dad? >> You know, I don't I don't ever I've never seen um um my dad putting hands on her, but there's times where she came out and you you just look at her like, "F███." >> Cuz I'm like, why is that such a big concern? It must happen. >> Yeah, so I think I think there's times where me and my brother we we kind of assumed. >> Oh, like it happened behind
11:51 >> Yeah, behind doors. We might have assumed cuz of noise or something, but we weren't sure. But we're just like, it don't matter. We got to protect her. >> You heard Ah! [screaming] Like It's good assumption. >> Loud noises, you know? So we just >> It's a Michael Jackson music video. It was a nothing. >> But yeah, that was that was it. >> That's a crazy dynamic, man. >> I don't know how to answer your question like from uh All I know is I would love my mom to smoke some weed once. And just Yeah, just try that. >> So she needs to get with a Jamaican man. >> Yeah, maybe. Sure. You know? Just like Just Just like all the other things uh in life that if you're going to experience life again, you just do it different. >> Okay. >> What if it makes her paranoid as ████ and even more anxious? >> Just try. I'm not saying be an addict.
12:41 I'm just try Just try things because like I think I think it'll chill you out a little bit. >> So you would try to fix her up with a guy that you know smokes weed? >> I just want her to have a I The thing is if it was similar to my dad in any way, I would have such a huge problem because of how I respect and revere my father. >> Oh, okay. So you'd rather have a >> I'm going to be honest with you. I don't think it would be the other way around. If it would it was the same conversation about like my dad doing Like I don't know if it would I would just want him to be happy. If I was like, I want my mom to be happy, but it's like, that guy's not as good as my dad. >> [laughter] >> Yeah, I'm going to just have that. So it needs to be so different >> Yeah. >> that it's like >> different flavor. >> Yeah, it's like you just find a happiness versus like coming home and it's like, >> Yeah. >> that's not dad. >> Oh, yeah. >> That That's just how I would feel. >> That makes sense. So get someone that don't have veneers. >> [laughter] >> Dude, Joe's veneers are too good.
13:31 Reminds me of my father. >> [laughter] >> That veneer reveal is so funny, man. Bright and ████ >> I would feel it if my dad got veneers, I feel like he's a different guy, 100%. That'd be so crazy. >> He'd always probably be smiling. >> Probably. >> Have you tried to do that? Hook your mom up with anybody? You never did, huh? >> Oh, no. >> [laughter] >> I I thought that ████ was just ████ ████ all dried up and asexual for a minute. >> [laughter] >> If I knew the ████ ████ that my stepdad did though, I wouldn't have been okay with it. But it was later I found out he beat the ████ out of all of his family members. They don't talk to him. He ████ cheated on his wife with her sister, divorced her, remarried her, and he got ████ kids from from both siblings. >> That's a mess. >> He's a ████ mess.
14:21 >> Sounds messy. [clears throat] >> And then my mom was like, he's too tired to be violent. >> [laughter] >> What a goon.
// end of tape