0:00 [Music] anybody got like a smart home or like smart speakers at home i did i unplugged that ████ ████ that i want google listening in all my ████ all your stuff is google based no i had like google home and i was like i would only use it for like tell me the weather and like play music in case i was like cleaning or something how about alexa yeah yeah it listens because then i'd be like i mean my phone aside my phone's doing the same thing but like i'd start getting like random like i wouldn't have my phone on me and i'd be talking to a friend about like oh like um i want to buy like a pillow or something like that i'm just getting like these ████ recommendations for pillows and ████ all of a sudden and i'm like i don't like that i don't like that at all you you have one you do this cool thing he's so i was skyping with him like two nights ago and he's like siri cave and then his ████ room like turns on like it has a different lighting
0:50 you have cave lighting i know i i just i i this guy ████ a lot bro this guy is you can name your different rooms in your house because if you have a smart home then you want you need to identify different areas so if you want to like light a room or whatever so it's not like i'm going to be like like casey or light the second bedroom or the downs that's just so long so i like name rooms right so i'll call some place like the cave so that's where i that's my cave i worked there you know dude i was like god damn that's the ████ palace i got it though there was one time where i definitely ████ up i thought it was like smooth because one of my other homies did it and then i had my smart lighting and then like you know i was about to get it on with my girl and then i was like i was like hey siri turn the lights red right and then everything got red she's like what the ████ is this
1:41 stop change track now ruin the whole thing why did it make it look like a demon looking really hard okay dude i don't know it was lauren's cow lord scott will tell you this when he comes back up he used to have this thing where first of all every time we ████ when we live together he just never closes his door he never he never closes his door when he takes a ████ never closed his door when he showered oh he's one of those guys he never wore underwear and he also air dried he never used a towel it's the most ridiculous ████ we'll talk about because you know it's just hilarious though right just super open like that it's not very efficient he's also he's you joking around me being a sex tower this is like the true a true sex habit this ████ is a square there's a dragon slayer slays puss like so hard is a ████ i knew that guy was a little pussyhound bro i've heard that so many times from so many different people where you you see lawrence and he just seems like uh like not someone that stands out but then the dying pieces
2:33 that he brings in and slays he's a ████ dragon pieces and also just the stories they're so epic like i would totally really be almost getting in trouble for time he got ████ caught at a party one time ████ small girl under a pool table oh ████ in the like the party environment how do you ████ on her pool table tubes are so thick dude you're a legend he's a small guy he's a dragon slayer the red light worked for him because he's like a real sex ever i tried it because i was inspired and it's ████ ████ phony quick story i was trying to have sex with nikki the other day and like it was like during the daytime or whatever and we were like you know in the middle of it and then we looked over at our kitty tree and our ████ fat yellow cat joe was like sitting there staring at us like he was a cuckold and we were like we were like ████ this did you tell him get the ████ out of here not doing it just ruined the movie it completely ruined the moon we're like nope we're not having you didn't want to like go to another room or something i
3:24 was done the cat's like he's like did he have one of these too no it was just like cheshire it was like i was ruining his life like i was ruining his marriage he was getting cooked is that the one that pees on nicky that's one of the piece on nikki that's oh that's why ████ that cat you should've ████ nicky right then in there dude but i bet you never heard the story about bart's threesome with his dog licking his balls oh i have that i've heard that that don't count as a threesome that's a true threesome i'm a player his first threesome that's on his body count he's like my dog frost dude bart has threesomes on the right species guy you know with that being said though um and what i was gonna comment on yours is that uh apparently they don't listen it's not about a listening thing it's about like an algorithmic like peg about like different people's interests and if you enter the same radius as like other
4:14 people that have shared interest that like links to like the way that you have like previously searched for stuff it continues to push your interest onto theirs as well that's weird that's kind of creepy too it's like that's still weird anthony it's still weird but are you guys getting um girls in bikinis and motorcycles on your feed no oh your feet is lit though i have to admit you've shown me your feet let me see your feet dude i want to see it's just girls in bikinis motorcycles bikes and now it's been wooden jewelry what the ████ is wooden jewelry dude i do i got this from a native hawaiian man do you wear it why doesn't he wear it joe has props for everything he's got the ████ maui necklace from moana this s███'s ████ handmade dude ████ look at this wouldn't you that's the hook of maui bro you're a demi god man that's actually really tight somebody's looking for that in the ████
5:05 heart of watiti or whatever i got it from a hawaiian man one man named ruben was it a gift or did you buy it the great hawaiian man reuben he was a hawaiian man named reuben [Laughter] pretty cool right that's dope that's sick made dude it looks like you should do show and tell on this show oh yeah we should we should that should be a careful boys episode more like joe intel hey i still think i pitched this we do joe's porn emporium and he takes us through his porn on patreon it's too personal i understand they're actual personal videos he's got his own pornhub account he's like he's actually killing it on there better than jk he's a pouring up taste maker taste maker he's a whale he's always one of
5:55 the women oh yeah he uses it so much ben's craft does playlist for the boys playlist for the boys of like it's like a dj for porn yeah like like you got to start with this i consume porn the way that i eat food it depends on how i feel wipe yourself up no it depends on how i feel that day this one's for the five minutes and under oh pleasure myself for an hour yeah no it's it's like it's like i'm feeling in oh my room's dirty i'm in the maid mood today i gotta look at made porn environmental that makes sense brilliant yeah it's just i have a different feeling you know like yeah you're talking like a dj i like it i get what you're doing i like it right i like the move i like it like you're a poor taste maker dude christmas that's
6:46 why you know the festive porn goes out for the guys that are really into christmas ████ you know you know guys it's october ████ 21. you got any halloween for you got some horror reports everyone skips over halloween though f████████ dude october is like one of the best times it is because that's when everybody's a ████ mm-hmm oh ████ yeah you're right you are kind of right yeah anyway so a woman finds that amazon has thousands of recordings of her all from home devices ████ called it yeah ████ call she goes she goes on tick-tock how does she find it is amazon alexa well yeah amazon's a live stream there's so many stories about this is she hot i'm gonna allow you to judge because here's the thing we all know that there are some people out there who probably aren't being recorded by amazon as well but i have a sneaking suspicion that perhaps this person with thousands of
7:36 hours on the cloud is pretty hot oh really yeah let's see i want to see if this theory stands up okay wait uh like you're talking like what's what's your threshold like what's what are we scoring this as to be to be spy worthy uh like uh bart's threshold is uh if you within if she's a 10 within five seconds you bust a nut and if she's uh yeah are you hitting it from behind yeah you're busting out within 10 seconds that's bart's that's the bart scale you can't even control yourself that's how hard but you're saying that only 10's get spied on are you saying that like seven high likelihood that she's closer to ten than a five i think i think all right and one is like you could last two hours because she's of ugly please don't be a ████ the one is your dick falls apart and then it gets soft in the middle and then you don't even you become a monk because you don't want to have sex you look down and your dick ages a thousand years and then crumbles off into dust that's number one number one is indiana jones abuser
8:28 that's a great you feel sexually assaulted for having one having sex with them okay i ████ care boys i pray you guys do not say anything like a one all right hey yo dude that's a 10 bro ████ [Laughter] i have been live debunked i was debunked yeah and sometimes you got to shoot your shots i was debunked what are you talking about i just nutted man she's so hot i tried out of theory it didn't work out and it's okay the beautiful thing is how average it was yeah it's just his face being like [Laughter] wait so is it a human being spying on her or is it somebody what is it a human being i was like that's rude that's ████ wrong human being don't ████ with me man so this woman was shocked to discover how much information amazon had collected on her from just a few devices
9:18 okay she says that well uh in terms of just a few she says she has two dots and one echo plus a few smart bulbs that's a lot oh wait okay but the bulbs can't listen to you what are the dots what do you think they're just like like a little ████ it's like a hockey puck what's the point of them because i'd like to see yell at it and be like amazon turn my room red is that is that the only dot is a smaller a cheaper version where you can have voice uh smart home voice activation you can connect that to either bluetooth or like you know audio video stereo and stuff like that in order to have like a larger presentation or whatever but ultimately it's just to enhance your house and have smart like the big feature of having all this stuff is so you could be like hey alexa play so-and-so song or something or cave like like anthony's move that's pretty much the only appeal right well you can set shopping lists you can ask for the weather you can play a song
10:08 you can set an alarm or timer for when you're cooking you can set an alarm clock to wake up you can remind yourself to do xyz at a particular moment depends on how smart you want your home to be so you could even have it set up to the point where it attracts your algorithm so like let's say you always exit through the garage you always open the fridge or whatever yeah you can set it to a point where as once it learns your behavior you can come down the stairs and the lights will light up as you're going i love that ████ and when you or when you get to the garage door the garage door opens by itself like see all the electronics are playing a symphony i want the door to open too ████ yeah yeah yeah dude i'm out you can get that you don't want robot servants no dude because all the stuff that they're saying that they have on the dot i could do on my phone i get the timers here i can ████ make lists over here nick is bumming me out today guys i gotta say he doesn't want to see the world's largest titties he wants nothing to do with it
10:58 he doesn't want to smell that's not my appeal bro he wants to be woken up by being throat ████ yeah but that's that's how i want to be working i like it is that too much that's what i got out of today he likes to be thrown ████ awake well those are the big ones [Laughter] why is it so big wait the amazon's been listening to her [Music] you
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