0:00 thank you [Music] there's a guy in NorCal on the street no he's just honestly it's it's close it's a dude in NorCal that um got out of his car during traffic and then got hit by a car and died that's ████ awesome what do you mean he wouldn't like that he said that I know yeah he's an idiot right why do you get out the car Nick what an idiot huh yeah he's an idiot you know what I think this guy's a piece of ████ because he's stopping traffic yeah that's the Nick I know yeah because you know it's the purpose of driving is to keep traffic on yeah I mean so anytime you just why would you get out of the car during the freeway really lay into him like get let him happen what happened dude no it just like I'm not walking into this an ████ right he's also your least favorite
0:50 sexual orientation yep because he's from NorCal and he's like in his 30s like he should know better than that I have a top three a man gets out of his car in the middle of traffic with a bisexual man he was wearing a rainbow suit a rainbow jumpsuit yeah with the piano tie yeah awful oh you hate those rainbow this way or this way so what do you do what happened what that what did the ████ do that yeah why did he get out of the car so he got out of the car Jesse wants to know because a family of baby ducks was crossing the road and he got out to help them cross no way and uh teen driver that didn't see him actually crash in him when he died holy ████ in front of his kids his kids were in the car holy
1:40 ████ what's him being bisexual have to do with it you still you still hate this guy can I tell you something I Saw The Little Mermaid recently yeah the black one yeah the one with the black chick it was very good it was very good okay my least favorite character the black chick is so great I saw that little mermaid huh yeah I want that black lady in it yeah The Little Mermaid was black I don't know if you saw the cartoon one or the live action one the live action and there's a scene where Prince Eric is like trying to be a gentleman and he's like showing around town and all this ████ and he's like hold on he gets out of the carriage and he sees a farmer with with a bunch of goats that are blocking the the and did he kick the ████ goat out of the way and he you know because he's trying to be a good guy he's trying to be Disney prince right and he's walking by and he's like oh we get these goats out of here and he's like helping the guy and he looks
2:31 at Little Mermaid and he's like oh my God what a sweet guy that's what he should have done he that's what this guy should have done he should have hurted them heard of them I mean he tried yeah he tried to like The Little Mermaid the black one yeah he did get the Ducks across yeah but unfortunately he got hit by a car that's really sad oh no it's sad of course it's sad what's the context of him stopping it was it like damn near right in the middle like of the highway or was it like a like a crosswalk or something yeah I don't believe it was a crush duck Crossings why'd you have to add kids into the story yeah I just had that it's in the store just said a drunk person that likes to beat his wife and we all
3:23 would have been like yay I'm so happy he died because we ████ hate people that that stop traffic said hey his wife should have beat him yeah yeah we would have said that and he was trying to catch the Ducks to make pet King duck later yep I wish I had thought of all I've seen duckling Ryan can you just be on top of it a little bit more as a host as a host do you believe in uh do you believe in a person's past crimes um being anti-mercy when he does something like if he dies then people should not celebrate this person oh like let's say he died doing a noble thing but he had like 10 uh infractions previously he had 10 armed robberies or something oh then I'm like kill that ████ even though he was trying to help Ducks cross the road yeah no I'm not against armed robbery
4:13 I was thinking he was he was a bishop at some ████ Church diddling away then I'm like yeah the ████ run the bishop over if he's around the bishop over here open the door so we can run him over that's the only way that could they could get punished hey he needs to come out because we're trying to run him over maybe or he's a cardinal I don't know okay yeah I don't know what the ████ a bishop is though but you would you wouldn't stop to help baby ducks cross the road I I think I would stop myself but I don't think I would get out I'd honk I'd flash myself the rule that's the rule you're not supposed to leave your car you're supposed to right yeah that's the rule yeah yeah but also like in the way was he if he's Advanced
5:03 enough maybe he could do like you know like those police Maneuvers where they start ████ doing the S on the freeway yeah why do they stop the whole world yeah and once everyone stops like a citizen's arrest but it's like at the traffic version yeah because if you man like on a freeway that's ████ crazy people are going fast where was it I think it was just like a regular Road oh so you're saying he's weak like the team hit him at five miles an hour too because he was in he he was they said because he's a new driver he was on his phone he's like a young teen yeah they need to poke his eyes out yeah they should cut his hands off I think that's fair that's fair that's fair there's no hands that's it dude he's nice no I'm just kidding but like uh yeah so he he did help the Dr cross and on it I think he was on his way back from finishing that oh that's like a movie so the Ducks
5:54 made it yeah the Ducks made it that's like a movie because it's like Yay Daddy and then he's like yeah and then he walks his way back and boom picture it now we'll never remember this they'll never appreciate him and the duck won't give a ████ they probably got ate by alligator as soon as on the other side dude if these ducks are just ████ walking around on the street being in the way all the time no way they're gonna survive are you duck judging dude I swear I have a lot of ducks in my community and they get off on being in the middle of the street and they do and swans too they ████ love just strutting out a little straight and we all just got to sit there and wait and they're like you know who else you know who else ████ peacocks you got peacocks where you live let me tell you about peacocks yeah tell me about pizza I are ████ they're I we can get a bunch of teen drivers that are new drivers to drive
6:45 through a bunch of peacocks about Acadia you should just drive through Arcadia we got to get rid of these peacocks man you know those guys they Buck your cars up loud too they cut it everywhere they pecker cars never known this problem because they see they see the uh reflection of themselves in the car and they want to fight yeah so they start pecking at your door and ████ they do that to really nice cars a lot yeah well yeah if it's in Arcadia then imagine them doing that to a Miata bro a 1999 Miata some car that's a real sports car so you guys know the law when there's like a animal on the road you're not supposed to Swerve you have to like hit it for real isn't that isn't that the law that is the law you have to go straight and just hit it it's the safest
7:35 oh my god well I guess I'm a ████ law breaker it's the safest because if you swerve onto oncoming traffic uh people do that when they try to avoid like a deer you could kill a human being they could hit a car what about bigger ones like an elf even for bigger ones it's the same like so you just drive into a deer I guess so that's kind of what what you're supposed to do this video I saw of this guy driving with a dash cam and he's talking to his wife on the phone and he turns the corner and he just hits a bear just it's a bear the bear flies and he's like oh ████ [Laughter] yeah but then he just drives off because the Bears like gets up he's a little rock uh I'm sure he's not like he's so strong oh the bear didn't even die no he got up and was like oh ████
8:25 it was inaudible though oh ████ yeah I was like oh ████ so you you sent that to your wife no I didn't say that you added it to favorites I just I just watched it I just saw it so you ████ you found a cool bear video and you didn't send it to me dude okay oh ████ I'm sorry how many cool baby videos I send you you send me the ratio is like four to zero yeah I'm just saying you sent me four really good ones so my bad I'll send I'll send you more bear videos I'm sorry thank you so does that I know that's the truth with like with deer and Moosh and like cows or whatever but is that the the um lots of like dogs technically what you're supposed to do is look around if there's a safe passage to like change lanes okay to say whatever like that's the rule right like you look over real quick can you not and then and if you can't you just gotta go straight through and ideally you're supposed to
9:15 be scanning the road you're supposed to be at all times do you guys want to go around the room and talk about like all the different animals we've hit Jesse you want to go first go ahead I've never hidden you've never hit an animal no not even a squirrel that like runs in your car it's totally not your fault Glendora I squished one you never hit a rabbit it like you're nicked it a little bit and then you watched it like bleed out on the sidewalk for eight minutes I had a bird in my car I don't know how it got there well inside the grill no was it alive and I was dead it's fried Jesus yeah it was like a road trip and you're like there's a ████ bird man how does that get in there so I think because everyone has their own story and sometimes it just you can't avoid it animals are dumb though especially if you live in like a like a rural area area you okay we're having a stroke
10:06 perfectly by the area you're pronouncing I dropped the ball you messed up on the easy [Laughter] the answer we have is the anti-asian agenda bro back at it again I can't even say it yeah can you say rural let's listen to the writers say it yeah go ahead both of you guys are right one two three rural oh yeah same way it was pretty good but like hers was better you gotta do don't you gotta break it into two words break it into two words if you guys activate your captioning and just tell us who's not safe rural bam the rural jerk and don't forget to put the rural area don't forget to play this bad game
10:56 with your friends at a party [Music]
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