0:00 [Music] all right everybody welcome back to another Fantastical episode of the careful boys where today let's get our fantasy hats on and our medieval ones because we're going to ask if you lived in a colonial or medieval village what would your job be like realistic social media oh can I take that one realistically or like realistically love Human Resources oh that's good o I'll be o if it's not entertaining enough all of us would dub your job I just be the psychologist so I don't have to do anything yeah that's a good one have you seen those those videos or there's like um there's like a whole thing with like um all these woke people who who they
0:50 want to do communes but then they don't want to work they want to be like I'm the therapist so you just want to listen to people and give them advice like some chop Chad ████ huh oh my God you got chat GPT for that now exactly dude that's all going to get eaten alive yeah I would be the the the the blacksmith Tink making the blades and stuff that is pretty sick man kind of cool dude how to make a nice i' be the Shakespeare mhm nice oh you be the gesture probably huh yeah the gesture clown yeah the clown do you really think you're more of the making the sword or do you think you're more of the wielding the sword making making you're a maker more than a fight huh you don't want to fight cuz I'd be very curious to see like what blades work how to make it more deadlier he's a Craftsman because if you go if they go to war with it I can see who came back
1:40 with the blade you got I'll be a I'll be a shopkeeper that's cool what what are your wares I have a general store yep and every time anything's going down in the middle of the road you just run back inside yep I'll sell I'll sell your knives deal I'll take it I'll sell you take you give me the knife doesn't the blacksmith just sell them himself no I'll sell it at my store Eman a oh you know what we don't need you for our budget so we're going to have to no no you need to be what you talking about no we can just raise the whole taxes you guys don't know what you're doing you're making the biggest mistake of your life and then we put him in the ████ wooden thing I would like to be the uh how sharp is this today I would like to be the the concierge of the Thieves Guild oh that's sick ████ like a Robin Hood mother the guy that that puts you onto the gig oh that guy is cool dude
2:30 you go in there you you go into the guild and you need a job then it's like then I pick one from like certain things that need hey you know this guy got his um got his Chariot stolen a while back he'd like it back so uh how would you like to go fetch it and I'm the middleman so I make money on everybody's gear instagator instagator yeah you make money off of all thiing and then what what do you do with that money though are you like Robin Hood though hookers or what hookers hookers give money to hookers to make them love you I feel like I feel give money to the poor or Ryan's going to build like community centers and ████ like that with the money no you go like hey I don't want anything from you like I don't want anything from no just hire hookers to do the deed of fight I can see I can see Joe running a brothel 100% oh yeah you'd be good at that the rooms testing the product maybe yeah exactly dude he's a user
3:21 too on your own at least I know what's good and bad that's true that's a good BR owner but I might waste all my money on my on my on my employees and for them you're training them no you collect it back I'll just spend I'll pay them and then I'll start losing all my money I will see I could see you also getting kind of like you know favoritism towards like one of your employees and stuff like but like only for the month and then you like need to switch it up yeah like that girl gets her ████ eatting now for the whole month for the whole month Dam and you won't let nobody touch up with you there's probably a lot of gigs for a big buff guy in the medieval times like you I think Bart would be the Undertaker oh I want to be the healer no you be those you don't want to be the Executioner guy I I want to be the guy that like you know you ████ get NED and ████ herbs that is such a bad
4:11 that's a bad casting guy wearing an apron just cooking food for every he wants The Cauldron this guy's are feeling good I go oh this little kated show he's the Merlin you know he feels better witchcraft to me I don't know villagers we should U maybe I want to I you want to be the guillotine guy there a lot of meat with the guy with the hood the black hood I don't want to I don't want to kill anybody yeah but you won't nobody knows your identity cuz you you're like covered in ████ mysterious he's so jacked cuz he cuts a head off every ████ 15 minutes but then you can still be the healer by day you're just doing that at like night time and nobody knows you even though you're the same size and nobody else is that big in the village like a Belgian monk and I'm just ████ making bruise and ████ I want to be a part of the got too much for that appar it's too low the you know like the strategy table that's what I want I want to be the evil hand of the king I want
5:01 to be a guy that doesn't actually do work I'm just the IDE man you know you just whisper hey you work the te's with what blade you know what I mean I think this I can't work the te's you know me I just can't work the that's not my job you I'm the ideas guy that's my thing I got to come up with ideas no it and if it doesn't work if that idea doesn't work I got to come out with Plan B J be wouldn't work as well if I was working the tees you got to know where you're killing it medieval David so I like it the ideas gu ideas guy slightly evil though like when I see the those like like what do you call it like Game of Thrones and like all that and then there's always that like King's Council right like they get together and then they they they talk about like how they strategize all that ████ I'm like the War Room ████ that's ████ cool pretty cool but you got to be like the
5:51 ████ unic though you can't have good strategy and have a dick at the same time jeez cuz nobody's really afraid of him that was a good Edge that was a solid Edge and You' got to always speak like this Lord Baris yeah see you know him so soft soft guy all right what he's too gay what item would you take with you from present day to give you an edge at Medieval job ████ a AR-15 dude you're a Healer he's a Healer with I'm a Healer does a ████ matter I would bring a camera a camera no ████ what about batteries and ████ ████ take pictures of those beautiful ass you know they were ugly right you would be a ler ████ up you can't develop them dude ████ never mind going you have to show them on your viewfinder every time who are you going to show they're going to freak out and burn you
6:41 AR15 the most basic girl of today was a 10 back then yep they were like oh my God she's got all of her teeth okay she's got all of her limbs her breath don't smell yep you're like look at her ankle look at her ankle oh ████ oh ████ baby that was hot ████ back then yeah you're right okay I'm bring AR15 you're bring a camera she has no lights dude ████ yeah she's hot dude imagine if you brought back like a ████ battery powered dildo dude solar powered pleasey going to use it more than once dude be like wait I got your back is this a MacGyver thing you can take it apart and use it for a lot of different stuff uh no no he just wants to show everyone a wobbly [Laughter] dick I would like to present to you f it
7:31 backfires I'm like why is only the dudes into this I forgot they were so gay back then no Anthony I thought you how you clean your ass there it is he goes to the king of France S I would like to present to you this folic of the African region oh oh s you're a scepter and then when he holds you like yeah and he cracked yourself up I have the power hey you know you know what be sick to bring back though like just a truck wait where do you get gas get the gas solar powered power solar truck solar truck think and long term how many bullets you going to bring with your ████ AK there's no ████ he knows yeah but there's no Road there's no Road need a lot more than that dude no at least like 10,000 dude bring like a Gatling
8:22 gun Gatling gun you take you own the world dude and they're going to steal it from you while you're sleeping cuz you still need to sleep loser how do you that I literally sleep with my ████ AR on me like this mhm and one touch what do you do click it's already off safe wake up you going to need a glove damn no safe I'm not saying any more ideas yeah I don't want anyone to steal them tired people steal them ideas are we are we only going to Medieval Europe right now it doesn't matter whatever the ████ you want okay I'm bringing an AR I don't give a ████ where it is Galapagos you know what I'm bringing rounds last forever I think I'd rather do AK cuz AR is going to rust and ████ like it's going no AR is actually pretty reliable you can't bury your AR Jam Glock can't Jam Glocks can jam no they can't yeah
9:13 they can jam they can jam no they can't no they can't I Googled it yeah it's kind of it does I just know a AR because I lived with one for 3 months so I'm very comfortable I agree what's the gun that can't Jam again like AK and Glocks pretty much now and AK so it all depends now yeah it's all different now there's a lot of guns that can't ████ Jam they can't Jam at all they solve the issue AK do Jam a lot if you watch Ukraine videos and Russian battles you can see a bunch of them they just need more money that's why yeah they get they clean their ████ couple billion more dollars and then they want jaming hey careful he's Pro Ukraine getting billions of dollars no no no no there you go instigator what are you guys going to bring can I just bring this I heard he's really well okay we're you going to plug it into the stream you need generator your ████ gun and it's going to work in my it's a fantasy
10:05 prompt you ████ let things work and have fun with it grounded you only shut people down you're not a Healer you're a ████ killer be grounded killer I like that he wanted to be a Healer ideas man you're an ideas killer he's getting ████ on from being a Healer the second he can get a gun he's not a Healer anymore I am a Healer that's how I'm going kill my ████ NES how do you going kill my NES on my bare hands killing diseases and sickness and famine you're wasting ammo on n he has a sprained arm I need to go shoot some ████ Jin sing and bring it back oh shoot the Jin sing got's going to disappear why are you supposed to grab it oh looks like you guys aren't on the same team anymore huh all right what would be your job without a gun without a gun without present day stuff what would be your job in ancient China like Drunken Master China yeah Drunken Master what is that 1800s maybe what be what would be my job still a choo Cho train it's not that ancient yeah like it's
10:55 what would be my job what's your job yeah noodles t noodles I think i' be into making noodles you'll be a noodle you'll be a noodle you'll be ████ Anthony Lee I don't want stupid comes back around doesn't it ████ man hey I'll make good noodles man noodle man you make exra good ones though that's good that's God solar powered noodles you know what the funny thing is fire bro none of us choose ████ warrior ████ I bet you every guy would be like I'd be a warrior not want to be a warrior no a cut in an infection die at ████ 22 to be the ideas guy that starts the war but in China didn't they have better methods of like ointments he but that's because we're realistic we're trying to live past 25 everyone that says they want to be a warrior they don't know that you
11:45 ████ get one cut you don't have antibiotics you're dead yeah my grandpa was a mechanic right so he's like and he still had to deal with war ████ so I don't even want to touch the front lines nothing I'll be a builder what what would you like to build B the Builder what's going on on what are you building lately yeah but um roofs just roofs it's time for war well I'm here doing roofs like can't bother me today ████ what if they're like we already have roofs everyone has a roof but what if they're like we need soldiers that guy so buffed from building everybody's roofs yeah we need that guy yeah I'm going be like yeah my assistants down there two of them go grab those guys first two of them I'm better my that's my healer can't take me to work cuz I got to heal people the Healer with the ████ gun take him to no no no go ahead try to take me to war ████ the
12:35 Healer we're building he's the ████ acupuncturist that's a serial killer everyone that just K oh my arm here ████ shoots it off Machine Gun Preacher the ████ the glass cupping thing the fact that the deadliest guy won't go to war is so funny and he demands to be a Healer too smart I'm a Healer bro he's the deadliest guy so wasteful follow my finger see why would got good eyesight man look at that why come you guys are dancers in this timeline but you wouldn't be dancers back then it's still a thing right that's true lion dancer you guys should be a part of the circus be in the circus stop singling me out they get assassinated all the time really the circus oh that was the wrong dude yeah cuz we're supporting roles and ████ yeah true ████ being merked since the beginning dude cuz they're non- essential I think you guys would work for the Chinese
13:25 Opera I could see that Moscow specifically in China now or no Moscow well you took us to China we've been taking you're the one who took us to China T Dynasty didn't you go to Moscow and you got dapped up by a bunch of people hey dude this is sensitive times we don't talk about certain things all all right let's take it to the fun part Feud of Japan okay yes yes finally now I'm on board Anthony will be a crossdressing performer why would you go there Joe that's not even like clever but he laughed I know what he's saying I know what he's saying I just laugh because he volunteers you right off the bat like let's go to Japan you're a crossdresser Anthony's a crossdressing witch huh Anthony's a hooker it's just so schoolyard it's like
14:17 hey guys what if we were in China you're a hooker you're a hooker you get paid to give blow jobs it's so fast it's so childish in feudal Japan huh yeah can you I'll hire you to kill him I will wait how I'm building Ro I'm building Ro guy I don't think he builds he just does this all day like this he just the funny thing is I know which piece you're doing you're doing the very top on the triangle and he's just putting the top one on wa roof assassin though roof assassin hey I'm here to build you they just ████ jump on roofs o that's true like tenu you ever play tenu stealth assassins no I play Dynasty Warriors though oh that was a sick game too isn't that China yeah Dynasty Warriors we're in Japan right now oh Japan yeah what
15:07 would your job be you can't do roofs they already got in Japan candleman candleman candleman that's good yeah I want to be a Mochi Master you see that sick Mochi Master want to build armors body armor Samurai armor out of roof tiles sell the armor don't fight the war ah cuz then when another troop comes they still you have job security cuz they still need someone to make the armor y Last Samurai style yes sir that's interesting so you went from sword maker to armor maker hell yeah so you're still a metal worker you're a blacksmith it's cuz we didn't let him roof anymore you foundary you said no more Roofing blacksmith we you think can be the carpet when you're walking into a room what the I'm a carpet guys he's
15:59 just a carp I'm a I'm an inanimate object a place where people can WIP their feet you got to go to feudal Japan for that yeah can't wait for this fantasy to be a rug a carpet I think the guy who United Japan he had his his job was just to get a stepping stool for like one of the Warlords so his he would travel and his only role was like oh ████ he's about to get off his horse he puts a ████ step stool there so he could get off the horse and that was it I was like it's crazy how they had rolls for like every single ████ step you know like in in in like Medieval Europe right you trying to justify my rugess no that was a funny it's cool it's kind of cool no they had rolls trying to make thiser like the French King it was like it was a prestigious so bad now huh
16:50 suddenly huh what I do Roofing can I be uh I want to be the uh uh a concubine casting agent so you get to test them first well I don't have to it's more like I'm a wingman lucky yeah man I that claimed it claimed it I'm not a rug not a rug I'm a Candle Maker dude I wish I just had a choice you guys ever hear there's like this weird weird job back during like the Leen Dynasty where he was like one of the emperor servants so the emperor would ████ ████ in a bucket he would take the bucket and look at the emperor's ████ and then provide some sort of forecast of the day oh yeah what didn't that have a name a fortune be like Co Fortune bullshitter is it a fortune cookie it's Fortune dookie dude yeah yeah he has he read the fortune dookies that's where
17:40 that word came from yeah got to be wasn't that in that one movie Last Emperor Last Emperor it's what happens in the beginning yeah yeah literally looks at the ████ stools it's called fortune dookies and they're like happy about it like Yay he's not constipated that's a whack ass job yeah it's not a great job that's such a that's such a just a dunk though if you're that guy yeah so like you're going to look at my ████ every day and like tell people something helpful yeah whack yeah I bet you was a prestigious job though the palace you know you're bullshitting that job is pretty good and you get to reap the benefits of being next to the emperor at all times ████ all the time yeah but you're probably also like well he only s████ twice a day you know what I mean it's like I actually only work 16 minutes a day damn one of my homies got assigned to be a general's assistant in Iraq and he had a queen-sized mattress and you got to play uh any have a
18:32 PlayStation you're usually ████ on the like if you just got there you're probably on the floor in a sleeping bag or on in a cot if they brought CS got it but he was in like a metal container with AC he had a flat screen TV so like when you if you can be right next to the head honcho you don't have any other responsibilities but you have all the benefits that's what I'm trying to do on the king's ████ dining hall cuz the emperor could ████ at any time you got to read that ████ so you're just following the emperor around and you get the maybe ████ the emperor's ████ or do whatever and just live the emperor life but you don't have any responsibility and sometimes you reading that ████ you're like dang if I don't ████ all the emperor's ████ today it's going to be War uhoh but what if you're wrong what if your weather uh telling is wrong well that's why you got to ████ everybody so you're right and go Emperor take another ████ got There's Always Tomorrow there's always tomorrow always another ████ you know what's another cool job is to be the um the ninja information
19:25 consolidator cuz you know the ninjas all come back with rumors dat and then you just got a guy who's collecting it all you're like the neighborhood rumors guy you put the narrative out inator huh all I do is say talk to me talk to me sio I doo and then one once in a while you have a Lone Ranger that beats you up for information and You're Just sh I ain't telling you ████ you know everything I don't know anything not so bad being a rug now is it they think of the last lap damn it Dam video's over ████
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