0:00 [Music] and welcome back to another Super Saucy episode of the careful boys today we have Jared and Dr Mike joining us today Fitness and whether or not we stay on topic we're going to start with a prompt what is the greatest physical pain you have ever felt or endured pH wow phal physical using a nail gun around your jadal usually works why we using a nail gun around your janal get nervous your hand gets sweaty what you do sh the ████ up are you serious right now you stapled your nut sack to a 2x4 not a first of all it's a nail gun we assuming a lot it's not the nail going through the dick
0:51 that's the proximate problem cuz that's like whatever you nailing your dick every now and again excuse me bad memories it's the fact that your dick is now nailed into something does not simply remove it what was the something 2x4 2x4 oh my God just like your dick or your balls you how many of you fell seen some porn before an adult fil or two young yeah I'm just I'm still trying to wrap my head around being naked around yeah yeah yeah yeah no we'll get you there uh step by step yeah it's great show and and then so at first you just just titties off a ████ three and a half floppy disc man ████ loads line by line that's good enough yeah and then you need a little something more yeah yeah yeah and you
1:42 keep years later you look more like smeagle high precious and ████ like that and you you don't even look human anymore and you would just been jacking off to Old weird ████ and there's this internet porn but then there's that bottom 10% of degeneracy where you're like what is even going on I got below that because there's levels to this they say and they usually mean levels up like black belts are so good there's levels there's also levels now and so at some point this the sheer danger of construction equipment around my genitals is the only thing getting me across the Finish Line because another thing Mead Channel viewers might be relate to stop you have this idea in your head this is what I want a jerk off too like you know I'm saying see a ████
2:33 on the bus and you're like scanning you say ████ I got you zap but when you go beyond that when you go beyond that you're just now the bus is what turns you on here's the thing not even that first of all yes getting your genitalia she like don't look at me like that I'm like I'm looking at the bus ████ and uh uh but then you start Jay in the D so to speak and then that thing you thought was going to knock you over the edge it just doesn't cut it you like you run her ground very disappointing you're like and you kind of get softer and you're like but she was supposed to be the one tonight so you get out the old nail gun you pointed while at your genitals it's the fear that dries the fear it's like the adrenaline rush I just want to
3:23 be a little squealing tied up pit ever wanted to be it was a roller coaster yeah it was just a little bit of a Thrill Ride it's fun did you buy the nail gun just to jack off with or you already had it no it was like my grandpa's or something see I thought you were role playing and she's like be a construction worker and you're like like this hey hey babe and then like you're just like look at this I'm working on projects yeah and she goes oh you're man you're just like yeah she's like do some masculine stuff like oh yeah like carelessness and disregard for my own safety bam cuz that's masculine as ████ masculine women care and ████ ████ I'm not trying to care I'm trying to shoot my ████ dick with a nail gun and I did it and it hurt a lot at first and then I was like oh I'm fine nope I'm not I'm still attack you to pull out the nail what didn't I do is a shorter list
4:13 try to ice sh I mean but also like what was am I going to go to the hospital or is this too embarrassing do I have reputation to uphold or is this a serious medical emergency we just getting through it is good enough what did you end up doing scary it was frightening the entire time in the car ride to the hospital I'm thinking like what do I tell the nurse or whoever checks you in cuz she's like gives you a form to fill out ████ I don't have a form watch this you fill this out to describe and she's like did you get hurt at work and I'm like I guess but I wasn't like getting remunerated for it or anything wasn't like my job I wasn't clocked in but hey when I'm jerking off I was clocked in I take this seriously so you were there with the 2x4 stuck right there with your penis what did you do dude did you wrap a towel around and then go okay towel yeah yeah
5:03 dry ice that turned out to be a bad idea burn the ████ out of my dry ice hey but to preserve the ████ your boy still here and most my what was the recovery time on that like a couple days really when it hurts again you feel so much better that sounds wonderful was it through like the middle the side or just the oh I didn't say this part I forgot it's an automatic nail gun I never meant to imply Just One Nail went through my dick the ████ yo fellas they make these s████ like what am I fighting the predator or am I trying to get this ████ construction like it seemed like hundreds to me it was only eight the doctor said it was seven and a half a little much a little excessive skin is this even a functioning podcast are you ████ with us right now yeah
5:53 six minute lie a piece of ████ guys hey what a ████ rise do yeah the curon it's just uh fun all the ████ no for real for real happen I embellish parts of the story we lie here I never went to the hospital and I still have two life for in my CH I never removed there's a piece of it just so pinky damn what was this segment supposed to be though worst pain worst pain worst pain you we're on yeah we're on topic on topic no that's good like best bicep exercise actual wor I mean the story the actual stor is so ████ lame I fell off the ████ monkey bars when I was seven and I broke my wrist but it was like I bone pain before and I was like oh ████ that's true okay okay
6:43 please give is the nail gun story he told Jared's story my story that actually happened to me he's all the burning him out he's like stop this is my story uh it was when my block wore off after my ACL surgery so they gave you the injection the block what's the Block it's just an injection they give you in like your lower back it's to make sure you don't feel anything after the surgery oh and they make sure to tell you like take your pain medication at this time or else in 24 hours the blocks going to wear off and you're ████ and I didn't take the pain medication dumb ass redneck ████ you people are used to really good at taking medications I'll take them all while now do itely as that's why I didn't do it that's literally why I didn't do it I was like my whole family's addicted to this ████ I'm not going to ████ do this so you're trying to not be a
7:34 stereotype yeah so but then it wore off right at 24 hours W so I ended up slamming like three or four vikin in back to ████ work nothing happened with the pain it just slowly got worse for like 3 hours wow worst pain I ever felt until an hour later when the Vicodin constipated me so bad no then my ████ backed up to the size of that gatorade bottle oh my God and it was hard and compacted in there oh so I'm literally like my knee is in this brace and I'm on the toilet and I'm trying to ████ and I can't and the pressure of you straining is getting the knee puffy again and my ████ and then I take an enema to get the ████ out of my ass cuz it won't come out of my ass and it won't come out because it's this big you thinking asking about a story like this now you got these Grimace faces it's this big I mean I didn't know it was going to go to his ████ right talking
8:25 about nail guns in your nuts and stuff like that I don't know worst pain ever what the ████ is this well I mean this it's for the fans I'm just the host man turd's this big butthole is this big you know what I mean like it's physics yeah it's not coming out so I have to shove my finger up my ████ oh that's a Bart move that's in you trying to pull it out yeah I had to like chip pieces off of it oh my God but it's still really hard it's lit like as hard as it can the vikin made it that hard yeah yeah really yeah basically it pulls all the water out of your intestines and it just ████ makes everything super hard but like and your colon um so I like get a a piece off but then it makes it hard and like sharp oh and and I like like suck it back up into my ass you know and it cuts the inside of my my own ████ cut every now and again you don't digest all the almonds you're eating or whatever and on the way out
9:16 they like they you won cuz you ate them but they're like hey ████ you on the way out I'm L like the sink's here and I'm on the toilet I'm like this and I'm like my finger's in my butt and it's like 3:00 a.m. and my mom knocked said honey you okay I'm like Mom Satan is real ████ away real you need any help she literally was like do you need help like go away mom you know what's going on in here it was bad sh how did you get out I finally ████ and it tore my ████ you know wow just the whole gatorade bottle imagine that sliding out of your seen a few with a blade at the end oh ████ man damn I think you guys wi yeah this was a competition oh I if it it wasn't everything's a ████ competition it wasn't but you know you guys win what are you Bart look you got some stories
10:07 time of think that sounds when I was a kid um I had crazy stomach pains to the point where I had I couldn't go to school you know and and I just thought I had like some kind of stomach flu or whatever and it was so bad I I didn't ████ for like a week uh they took me to get a ultrasound and you're pregnant yeah I was pregnant they found my little ████ just like right there and then she goes M there it is right there it's stuck and I had to take like they were trying different kind of pills whatever laxatives to get it out of my system and they're like you need to eat fiber all this ████ finally came out it was like a small little dried up green thing yeah backing me up but I couldn't also eat either but I was like it was every day my stomach was like ████ hurting I thought I was going to die ████ for a week and I didn't know what was going on I was like in fourth or fifth grade and
10:57 when you're a kid you're just like this is death what am I going to tell my friends about this yeah I've been out of school for so long and I go back they're going to be like what happened I had a big ████ you know like whatever just taking a ████ yeah dude should have kept it it's going to be so embarrassing that was crazy having pneumonia as a child was crazy too going to the hospital coughing my lungs out oh please oh now we're just this is begging this is turning pathetic oh yeah I had a cold once J Mike had seven Nails in his dick how do you feel that had 18 ████ nails in one part of my dick mother ████ you're talking about having the well you had to broke your wrist as a kid over here his mom was pulling a ████ tarantula size ████ out of his ass see see how you guys win it's just hard to compete with now it's just like we've been through some pain yeah I would say adult adult pain would be um
11:47 two would be one this guy you know when you Spar a little too hard it turn a little real and then he uh what sport is this uh just karate like full contact oh ████ getting hit in the face type of ████ uh and then my my spleen got sprained and ruptured so when he kicked it I thought I had a broken rib out that so that was like a that took at least 3 months to heal and oh yeah remember and I I literally thought I broke something it was some ████ up ████ but yeah I would say that was that was probably a bad adult one where you can't sleep and another one was I had an a crazy eczema attack from head to toe just middle of Co too I don't know what was going on I never had this as a kid but like your whole body has it whole body dude Jewish or something no Japanese my skin yeah yeah I just I just uh some you know I
12:37 always had patches of it but one crazy breakout it was going crazy it would wake me up in the middle of the night had to take a hot ass shower to cool it down all this stuff and I was just like is this going to be on my body forever now and it lasted like 2 weeks yeah well that's about it oh I remember the most I have two most painful Memories One was when I was a kid I think I was 7 years old you know when you like ride like a like those BMX bikes you like to jump the curve is that something that you guys all did or sufficiently athletic to do that okay so you would jump the curb and that's what you would do and you would try to jump higher and higher things and I remember there's this at my neighbor's house there's like this little planner and then there's like a tree in it but then the I don't already don't want to hear this the planner's like this high now so I'm like okay everything I've been jumping is like this high so to jump this I need to get
13:28 real High I didn't go really fast I went all the way back started pedaling as ████ hard as I could I went up I jumped and then my front tire hits the planner cuz I didn't go over and then all that force my nuts hit the bicycle seat and my nuts drag across the bicycle seat and I just remember going like my ████ nuts got um like tore off I tore I I pulled down my shorts and I just looked I don't give a ████ it was so much pain you don't care if there's neighbor yeah fet you have your dick out I pull my shorts down I pull down my under I look at my dick and you know when you like fall in you scrape and there's like a scab it was like that my the bottom of my testicle was all red like this that was the most painful and then the second most painful was uh back in college me
14:20 and Joe we used to go to our gymnastics center cuz there was like there like a group of like trickers that would like you know trickers they would do like butterfly twists back flips kind of stuff kind of yeah kind of and so I was learning how to do a back flip my friends it was a just don't get a hurt back walking a Jewish athleticism yeah so I was and then so I was learning how to do back flips and then um one of the coaches was like you want to get 100 um in the gymnastics room Barefoot then you want to get 100 uh Barefoot on the grass then 100 with your shoes on on the grass and you can do it anywhere and and you know kind of how like the and one ████ practice sorry Jesus over time so You' like come in and do like cuz it actually burns out your apps it burns out your apps pretty bad because when you jump like you're tucking really hard so I'm okay cool
15:11 every time I go I'm going to go like bang out 20 or 25 of them I was on my way to maybe like 60 or 70 just Barefoot and sometimes you know when you're like you don't fully know the technique yet you your body will just bail after 6 yeah don't bail always follow through I go up for some reason I ████ bail and in my mind I'm like why am I bailing I come down and my foot which is Barefoot goes straight into the floor like this and I hear crack crack CRA crack CRA crack crack oh ████ and then so it blows up right away probably one of the few times as an adult I I get like so much pain in and tears you little ████ I know and that's that's what happened that's the voice in my head I'm like you ████ crying little ████ I'm like you're doing 10 more on one foot yeah he did more he was like oh I think I broke my toe and then he keeps going more and I'm just like damn all right that's hella Asian right there little ████ I'm
16:02 like and and you're only going to do it on one foot so I was like what two oh my God I just kept doing it and when I was done I couldn't even I would untie all my shoelaces to it's the loosest and I couldn't even put it on my foot cuz my foot was so ████ swollen dude if I was like the gymnastics coach i' pull everyone aside point you out be like you see this ████ none of the rest of you are ████ adult men the ████ out of my face that's a ████ man I'm not even on the team exactly I'm doing it recreationally that's the kind of dedication we need matter of fact young man here's your division one gymnastics scholarship so what you don't have that kind of talent it's raw energy we want yep and he broke something and both of us quit you're like I don't want to be the next guy I'll be like that's enough I don't need to do a backflip there's
16:52 plenty of Asians that do it already tons those are the two most painful God damn did you break stuff yeah yeah I ended up have um getting like X-ray and like all these micr fractures in in the what are they metatarsal it take for you to heal um it actually doesn't you're not really in pain unless you like stomp so in like all back to gymnastics straight to it the part that hurt uh a lot was the physical therapy and like grason part cuz then once it heals it's like rock hard there's Scar Tissue everywhere and then so your mobility in your toe is like it doesn't even move and then so now they're like okay we got to ████ you know scrape all this ████ and get your moving your toes again and that was ████ painful wow I do remember that that was crazy we had a lot of stupid ████ back then who's
17:44 next I guess I'm next yes I don't I'm fortunate enough to not have had too many crazy uh injuries but this how I got this ear was really ████ painful cuz I drained it and it could look like this and it was a couple months after I drained it it and then I was doing some sparring with the friend who was a lot bigger than me what is the what is the sport here this we were training for MMA we're training for MMA and very foolish nothing painful in MMA of course he threw a left he threw a left hook and it hit and he was wearing 18 Oz gloves and the standard is like 14 16 oz so this was like a really big glove and we're in headgear he threw as soon as he made connection with my ear I just felt blood like fill up oh he popped your balloon dude and cuz it looked like this and then it looked like this oh it got bigger that looks sweet by the way thank
18:34 you appreciate it uh for the record people who know don't know this if you are trying to start bar fights never start a bar fight especially with an Asian dude first of all and second of all that ear means that ████ has seen some ████ you haven't seen yeah but I feel like two big guys like this could ████ just no please I would run [Laughter] three Miss leave him out but I remember like the feeling of how sensitive my ear was and like when I would move my head I could feel it like sash around and even that was just so painful like someone just touching it I was like oh my God I would cry like a little ████ you know and they would drain it but it just I remember them using like five or six needles to how did they drain it is it just at the gym Bro Science way or you went Bro Science Bro Science just homies doing each other cuz the first time I
19:24 did it I had a nurse that did it and I was like I can't call her again cuz she just fixed my that's why that one looks like that one and that's why this one ████ to do it I want a memory for this ████ I don't want a nurse erasing my lived history well I was trying to make it go back to look like this like a normal ear but it just never they ████ it up and then it just got hard and then it's the rest cuz their method was like and it sucked even more because like I wasn't that good at all so and I had ████ up ears so everybody would be like oh you must be really good and I was like white belt ability they're like oh ████ vide are ████ dope I'm I appreciate it when they you it was through the head like it it was pressed in the head gear already or dude it just as soon as it made contact it was so ████ painful wow I just I never felt anything like that ever and I was but also I have nothing else to really compare it to but but at that time I was
20:16 like this is ████ awful well you have compared to like shin kick or getting kicked in the ████ quad yeah like but it's it's a different kind of pain you know it's like but this it was just so sensitive and it was like if anyone touched it like if I bumped into somebody it would hurt you like oh ████ and it would it would just SOS around it was really gross dud before I mean we tried to do the ████ pulling out the liquid and I was like ████ this it just hurt a lot so I was what just let it hard and it's going to go back too is that the proper treatment like a balloon up and you drain it but like the proper treatment is to get ████ cauliflower you're like a goddamn man and walk around ████ but you know when it's still soft cuz it's in the formative phase once it hardens up you don't feel ████ but if it's still soft remember like like slow low passing with the ghee and the ghee is like the nastiest gnarliest
21:06 material ever and it just scrapes on your ████ ear but at that point you're like in the Kill Zone so you don't feel it much but if you're just warming up and you're doing a technique and someone knee slides on your ear you're like it's just like just everywhere dude even like moving like I would shadow box and I'll be like okay I got to like not move so much I got to take a knee for a second and you felt like such a ████ cuz everybody's training and you want to be training with everybody but then you're like my ear I can't so you feel like such a ████ I just feel like I've been trained hard enough cuz I don't have any of those you need run into walls brother hard doors dude I just have hair to protect it your hair is gorgeous be honest with
21:57 you h
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