0:00 let me tell you this about ketchup okay tell me something Japanese about good it's sweeter in Japan [Laughter] [Music] uh does everybody remember the story of a dude who survived 24 days at Sea recently by eating a bunch of ketchup and stuff no uh I remember about someone yeah you fell off the ship or something right and then he uh um this guy his name's uh Elvis Francois he spent nearly a month adrift after getting caught in bad weather with a 47 year old man surviving uh uh oh and he's a 47 year old man and he's himself by himself on only mainly ketchup and spices um he had like Maggie and some ████ Jack he's delicious some like salt or
0:51 some ████ like that where where was he off what Coast he was rescued by the Colombian military was he um hanging on to something floating or was he no that was a different one that's a different one yeah he was in a boat this guy this guy became adrift back in December he had been working on his boat uh in Saint Martin when he got caught in really bad weather he wasn't able to sail back to shore so he had to live on a bottle of ketchup and other spices um garlic powder is what the other one is garlic powder and Maggie stock cubes he mixed it up with some water and he had a bottle of one bottle of ketchup uh and he survived for 24 days 24 24 days jeez he carved help on the side of his boat he came back in good shape though huh lean that's one way to put it super he's gonna come out with a workout program The Lost sailor was able to signal for help using a small pocket
1:42 mirror uh and was eventually spotted by a plane because uh in his final days around January or something like that he saw it playing he had a mirror so he's trying to make signals with it and he caught a pilot almost crashed this ████ [Laughter] laser pointer he goes my eyes ████ you guys you ████ pranksters so he was he was finally resting ████ 120 nautical miles away from Porto Boulevard in the Caribbean on January 16th almost a thousand miles away from where he started holy ████ Thousand Miles shortly after that though is that nautical miles where this goes uh shortly after that Heinz the ketchup company ran a huge social media campaign trying to find him and get in contact they did this help us hashtag find the ketchup boat guy right and it got pretty ████ viral on social media everybody started like connecting the dots and you
2:33 know putting things into place um and they finally got in touch with him and the reason why they wanted to get in touch with them is because they want to give them a new boat wow I thought they're gonna ship a bunch of ketchup and then he would have been done that would be the worst right ████ kitchen maybe the ████ worse after that I wouldn't even stand spend any time in Sea I'd be trauma I'd be ████ Trump I'd be like you know I'm moving to Vegas and then you get lost in the desert ████ this is why we need ████ chips my boy doesn't have any location chips in our skin you know yeah people would track us down yeah come find me dude yeah I guess but yeah I just thought it was really cool that you know one I think Heinz did a really really great job with the marketing they like took uh not advantage of but it was an opportunity that they like did really well to hook him up they they did this hashtag like help us find this guy because they couldn't get in touch with him and it like sparked Global Marketing
3:24 efforts for them that were better than like all their marketing campaigns throughout the entire year they actually got in touch with them the reason why is again not to give him ketchup but to give him a ████ vote logos all over it with help it just looks like a big ketchup bottle the ketchup company is giving him a new boat what about Maggie what a Maggie off room nothing huh so you see that's what that's what it is now you know who's not a cool company they got a great product but I thought Maggie was a Chinese company too because all of my Chinese friends have Maggie all the time Maggie's bombers it's it's European right it's French I think yeah but with the fried egg add some Sriracha a little chili oil come on and French bread I think um Maggie is actually wheat sauce it's not soy sauce yeah yeah that's why they don't they don't legally put soy sauce on it they call it seasoning oh that's
4:15 all I love it like all the new all the new labels just say seasoning on it was it a European method of trying to recreate soy sauce because I think that's something similar to um Worchester Worchester sauce you know Worchester sauce yeah Worcestershire Worcestershire yeah they were trying to recreate a sauce that they've had like somewhere else and they're like what the ████ this is good and then they made that really how do you know all this random I sometimes make up Science and History makeup facts it's probably spot on I don't know I'm kind of right sometimes you are kind of right you you make it sound like really like I believe in ████ you know so should we keep talking about soy sauce or ketchup
5:05 let's talk about garlic powder ketchup let me tell you this about ketchup okay tell me something Japanese about good it's sweeter in Japan [Laughter] um the UK it's sweeter two that's what you just said about no but it's Japan because you're Japanese I just think they copy the UK but then it in America it's more tomato paste if you guys had a a condiment or like a sauce that you wanted to have to survive on what sauce would you guys like in the middle of the ocean oh ████ bro Pepto-Bismol all the way because it tastes ████ good oh never mind if that's the only thing you can drink you're ████ that's true dude I go
5:56 ponzu bro ponzu that's bomb ████ Ponzi by itself just by itself bro because it has salt in it right has a little ████ is it all just lime in there is there enough nutrition in there probably not but then when I catch a fish come on bro oh yeah what am I gonna dip it in ponzu duh idiots I might do like full-on like salsa like pico de gallo yeah why can't I say Pico the guy who said a condom gone in a day only a lot of people what like mustard now you're saying straight up food with salsa it's a sauce yeah that's kind of like I think salsa literally I'm a Survivor bolognese sauce [Applause]
6:46 that ████ will Brown in 30 minutes oh yeah it won't be good you tell me your tomatoes are gonna stay ████ cute in the jar it's a Tostitos Ragu get some Ragu I'll do it I'll do A1 A1 if you look at that get mad at him A1 I like a one that's actually a sauce shut the ████ up salsa means sauce you said Pico the guy you need someone chop it up I said salsa you said no you said I'm gonna do some actual salsa I know what that means okay fine see Jimmy's over here yeah just admit you're jealous uh yo y'all know uh logama Logan what is that oh that's like a Chili Chinese chili sauce oh like that like a Chili crunch yeah actually it's not a sauce but it is so you want to ████ your last days away it's just my favorite or your favorite
7:37 condiments what's it made of huh what's it made of it's like a chili oil yeah chili oil yeah is it that one where you put sesame oil and chili pepper and it's nothing but chili pepper seeds and it's red yeah is that what that is yeah and you only need a little bit of that one yeah yeah a little bit good yeah you're trying to survive off of that we're talking about like this this is your meal what shoes pico de gallo oh yeah I'm trying to go for some with the new three years you know whipped cream sour cream cheese whiz you don't have a refrigerator they're just gonna go out oh does it go bad in a bottle like unless it's yeah sour cream is milk ████ think about the most amazing sauce dude you're gonna get ████ food poisoning for Mayo yeah yeah that's just gonna go bad bro you don't got a fridge
8:27 we're gonna refrigerator oh bro that ████ goes bad yeah I got food poison from it but why don't they refrigerate Mayo at the market then because you get it and there's ████ male regular shells when you open it probably Nah when you open that s███'s made out of vegetable oil and egg that ████ goes bad bro I'm pretty sure that ████ goes bad if you leave it out in the heat that's why I said A1 sauce it's got salt it's got ████ tomato and Worcestershire sauce all in one Worcestershire where would you go Ryan for sauce uh queso dip barbecue freaking uh Szechuan sauce Szechuan the Chick-fil-A ones for sure diarrhea what your life away too yeah
9:17 I'm trying to read my way back to shore you're gonna dehydrate yourself so much faster you need a propulsion element to get the Boat Moving you guys ever thought about like being in situations where you have to survive like oh if I was here and I was trapped in the ocean what I would do like you ever think of those situations all the time like doomsday prep you think of that all the time what I watch alone yeah I'm like these idiots aren't doing it right now if I was doing it I'd do it how about when you watch it live I've never seen that show that's not a show it's a movie but the guys that they CR they were in the plane crash and they had to eat each other yeah all the soccer players we talked about that and that's their scenario we said we eat Bart's butt first remember we we were Split Decision only because we knew that he'd be a little muscly man and you might not die either but we definitely still would have eaten his butt first
10:07 what kind of Chunk you know what I mean Ubi yeah you should be walking along for sure I'll just have like honestly if we just we could keep you alive and amputate one of your legs and I think all of us could survive for like two weeks and that Bart is so objective I need my legs You're So Pregnant we're not going nowhere you need your our survival more than you need your legs you're so pragmatic that you would be like yeah this is totally what needs to happen yeah this is I'm okay with it you would do an arm rather than carve out like a piece of ass I'd rather just do my fast I'll give you guys my fat yeah all right I'll cut off cut fast 101 of it with your get lean program they don't have any left man yeah dude that's your buff bar right now shut the ████ up that part would have like held us a lot longer yeah this is skinny bar right now skinny bar it's like dick yeah [Laughter]
10:58 [Music] foreign [Music]
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