0:00 Speaking of attractive bald guys with beards, here's a divorce that's happening that has just been made very real. So, Tom Segura and Christina P >> We knew months ago, but then like she actually came out and talked about it. >> Yeah, so she did a podcast and >> I hate being the general internet public. >> Uh-huh. >> But I couldn't help but feel what I felt. And I was so sad. >> We're sad. I was I felt very sad. >> Cuz before you know, like since we're public, right? We have vlog channels, we have our our channel and and all that stuff. And then we would do things just making moves for our personal lives, and then our fan base would have a reaction. And in my mind, I'm like, why do you have a reaction like that? We're making moves in our own life, making personal choices. We can have We're entitled to our our personal choices. >> Mhm. >> And I didn't understand what the audience felt. >> Yeah. >> But then when I saw them divorce, I was
0:51 like, "OH, NOW I KNOW." >> SO, that's after 18 years of marriage, 20 years of being together in general. Uh you know, she stated they originally tried to work it out for years for the sake of the kids they were trying to stay together, and it's just not working out. Um but Christina P's maintaining uh that it's a very amicable divorce, which I think a lot of people agreed that it kind of made um Tom Segura look worse because she's taking it with such grace. >> Yep. >> And she's the one that survived cancer, and you know, all these different uh hardships, and and she's so kind about what's happening. >> Yeah. >> She's not badmouthing at all. But Tom Segura up till this point, even now, like I believe still hasn't even said anything about it. >> I remember recently, I can't remember if it was pre-divorce, but they did like a silly little Tik Tok where it was like him like standing with some hot young chick doing something. Do you know what
1:42 I'm talking about? And then like Christina was like off to the side. I think it was pre-divorce, though, cuz I remember being like >> Yeah. >> What in the world is going on here? >> They they even had that running bit with she was being replaced on the show. >> Yeah. Yeah. >> He got like some porn star to be the new Christina. >> Yeah. >> And she was in on the bit. I'm sure that like that stuff is funny when you don't end up getting divorced. >> Right. Which like by the time you get divorced, like you know you've had that conversation like so many times by then that like by the time it's public. But yeah, no. >> So let's fast forward to the juicy stuff. What do you think it was? >> His fame. >> Yeah, so that's the number one thing is people are like, "Oh, because his life went through such a transformation physically and financially that he feels like he needs to be with someone >> There's a high stat of with if a couple if they don't lose weight together, but only one of them do, it's a journey for splitting up. >> Really?
2:32 >> sense cuz you know, it could be a sign of either one person losing their mind or that one person like actually being like, "Oh, I want to make steps to get better. I want to grow as a person." Whereas the other one's like, "No, I'm cool where I am." So then you like start to lose that cuz she was she was well, I know they >> They both got fat. >> Yeah, but cuz she was like she tells the story of when she was like taking too much of Ozempic, right? And he lost weight obviously, too. So I don't know. >> There was a very sad thing she mentioned where um she was kind of illustrating that when you go through cancer, >> Yeah. >> like you change so much. >> In your brains? >> Just all of you. >> Yeah, imagine you're like, "I could die right now." And like a very real >> Mortality hits you really hard. >> There's also a really sad stat that like when women get sick, their men are more likely to leave them. >> Oh, yeah. >> Yeah. >> I heard of that, too. >> Even if they give him a kidney. >> Yep. I have a very very good friend she wrote a book. If you guys want to read it, JB.
3:22 She she went through cancer and her man left her in the middle of it. >> In the middle? >> of it. Like you're sick and dying. They it's statistically they leave. >> But your vagina still works. >> You son of a ████ >> [laughter] >> No, it's >> It's kind of like the vagina still works. >> thing about how guys are wired in a way where it's like a it's like a survival tribe thing where it's like, "Oh, she's expired." or whatever. It's just sub >> Oh, is it like a carnal response? >> It's like it's I guess there's some kind of evolutionary ████ where some dudes are just like they're dis- they're disposable. Like you know how guys are a little bit more logical, right? Like so there's certain guys out there like that are psychopaths that are like, "Oh, you're dispensable now. Move on to the next." >> Same thing like when you turn 25, yeah. >> Did Brian Johnson do this with his girl? Remember Brian Johnson, the guy who was obsessed with living forever? >> Yeah. >> He Did he do something like this where
4:12 >> Yeah, well, that was our friend. Taryn Southern? >> Yeah. >> That's your friend? >> Yeah. She was on JK Films. >> She got uh she got cancer and and he left her, right? >> Well, uh for his argument is that he's been a he was around for the treatment and all that stuff and then back and forth and then um >> That makes it even worse. Well, I was around for the treatment. >> Yeah, but then when you got better. >> Oh, I didn't realize that she had been on JK. Wow. >> Yeah, it was pretty messy. >> Damn. >> I also think they have it extra tough. Have you guys uh recently seen that one uh Shaquille O'Neal clip that goes around? So, he's talking to his son >> about about if he wants to play back He says he's going to Yeah. >> Yeah, cuz his son is uh got tryouts to play for the Sacramento Kings. And pretty much he was telling him that uh he lost his family because he was chasing greatness. So, if you really want to be the best, like there's a lot
5:02 of sacrifice. Like he was like, "Remember growing up, I was not there for basketball games, Christmas, blah blah blah blah." So, when I think when you have like two powerhouses like this, not only do you already have the regular stress of a family, like you know, taking kids to school or whatever and you're you know, raising them, parenting, all that. And then now you have two people with superstars with superstar careers, it's really hard for I think a human mind, like a lizard brain, to like juggle all of that. And there's got to be at one point something has to like is going to give or explode on its own, you know? >> kids grown, too? >> Um I don't know what their ages are. >> of people finally get divorced like when the kids graduate high school, right? >> Yeah, I've seen >> We did it. We did it. Thanks. Moving on. Yeah. >> They might just be growing as completely different people, too, cuz they never see each other. That's one of the things I saw a clip of like, yeah, he's always on the road, whatever, whatever. She
5:53 always has her, you know, she has her gigs, too, but then now on top of the road, like he has the the TV or film stuff. >> It should also It should also be mentioned, and I'm not, you know, going to gloss over this, but over the years, he's kind of created a lot of hate for himself. >> Really? >> Yeah, because he's changed a lot as a person. His His stuff that used to feel like it was purely just jokes had too much realness in it, especially how he would make fun of like poor people. >> Oh. >> And like he went He also went on a rant when he when he had to check his bag at the airport and started, you know, talking ████ about people whose job it is to do what they're told. And like slowly people started to go, oh, you're not fully just joking. You really do look down on like a lot of these people cuz now that you're up. And a lot of his like arrogance started to come through. So, anywhere you look, like these posts will be like years old and it'll be
6:43 people really turning on him. >> Or Garth Brooks is behind it. Is it Garth Brooks? Who's this guy? >> Oh. >> That he every time he performs somewhere, someone goes like missing in the city. It's either Garth Brooks or like Toby Keith. It's It's a country star. >> Yeah, yeah, yeah, I know what you're talking about. >> He's pulling the strings? >> Yeah, no, no, he's he's calling him out on it. Wherever I think it's Garth Brooks, but it's like wherever Garth Brooks goes and performs He has a whole bit on it. Wherever Garth Brooks goes and performs, someone goes missing or like dies or whatever from that city on that night. So, he's like He's like permanently banned from like being anywhere near him. I'm pretty sure it's Garth Brooks. >> Oh, really? So, the country star that he made that bit about said forbade >> Well, cuz there's there's like science behind it. >> [laughter] >> Yeah. >> Fun little rabbit hole. >> Hey, why are you so mad about that if it's not true? >> Crazy. >> Yeah. >> I I saw this clip though of like Theo or somebody talking about how >> [laughter] >> he caught that fool cheating or
7:33 whatever. >> He caught Tom cheating? >> Like it was going around because of the recent divorce thing. Man, it could be Bad Friends. I forgot. >> Why would Theo say that? >> I might be butchering this, but >> That's a big thing. >> Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. But they're like, "Hey, he was like it it but it sounded like a joke, too." So, it could be one of those things where like people took it out of context. But he goes, "Yeah, he was in Europe. Like he had a little play thing." You know, you know, and then like he was there for weeks and ████ and >> I've heard stories about her, too. I'm not going to reveal, but fun fun wild rambunctious stories. You know what I mean? >> I mean, when you're two superstars, you get a lot I feel like everybody at that point, they're ████ everybody. Like if you're not, you're not you're missing out on life. >> You're not a superstar if you're not getting tempted. >> [laughter] >> Or you're a good person. >> No, no, no, you can't do that. No. Nice try. Question for you guys, all right? At this point, what are they like in their late 40s, 50s? Right? You
8:24 already have kids. What the ████ is the point of having a divorce? Unless it's major. Like what's the ████ point? If I if I put if I put myself in the guy's shoes, right? In his shoes. And if there are 20 supermodels, just cheat like everybody else. She doesn't let me cheat, Joe. That's why it's CALLED CHEATING. >> YEAH, [laughter] I'M NOT AGREEING. YEAH, BUT ANOTHER >> SHE DOESN'T let me cheat. >> But when [laughter] you were when you were talking about divorce, I really thought you were going to bring up god damn Jelly Roll and Bunny XO or whatever her name is. I WAS LIKE, "NO." But so, like part of that, too, like possibly maybe there's a lawsuit behind the scenes. So, if they get divorced, only one person want you have the money, you get the house, you get everything, it's in your name. Now, I'm safe. >> Like Bill Gates and Melinda? >> There's a legal part, yeah. >> I heard that they pulled that because of
9:15 the Bill Gates with the Epstein ████ >> But also, you know how he's got I mean, this is not the good photo to show of him, but like, you know, he's got kind of like a a renewed life with his like new image. >> No, he looks great, yeah. >> Maybe that goes into why like, oh, divorce feels like a kind of a good move. >> At that point, you have to date again and marry? Like why? No, I I don't know, like maybe cuz >> Or at that point you don't, you know? >> He probably won't. >> You don't. You did it. >> What's the ████ point? Just ████ around and and and enjoy and >> Maybe they just can't stand each other anymore. >> See, that's what I think it is. Cuz it to me divorce is pretty far. Like especially if you built a whole life together. I get it when you're young. I get it like a lot of people do it when they're young, right? And then and then you still have time to reset and find somebody. But at this age, I'm just like you still like what the ████ >> They probably they probably spent so
10:05 much time apart that they're just different people over the years. >> Yeah. >> But would you guys do it at this age? >> I wouldn't. But I'm also >> Even if you ████ were fighting every day. >> But I'm also not a superstar with ████ supermodels like crawling through the chimney trying to suck my dick. >> [laughter] >> The chimney? THERE'S SANTA CLAUS? >> THE HO HO HO'S ARE COMING, YEAH. >> NO, it's different. [laughter] I feel like without like if I have regular people problems. When you have superstar problem like when you got people driving Ferraris to the front of your house saying, "Hey, I got the new one that just came out on a lot. You want to buy it?" Like they're just being force-fed like luxuries and like sins and it's hard, dude. >> Yeah, it's cuz you're honorable. That means you you actually like follow the rules. That's why you need a divorce before you become a ████ hedonistic like crazy boy. But I would be like Bill Clinton.
10:56 I'll just be like well, ████ it. Like me and Hillary here, we're just going to stick together and and you know, we're we're going to be a power couple whatever. And you just still enjoy life and >> Well, it's like a power marriage. >> This is pretty powerful. >> When they got married, I don't think they were as powerful. >> No, no, yeah. >> Yeah, not at the time. >> together. >> Yeah, they came up together. That's what that's also what kind of makes it really sad. >> I know. >> I always find it strange when like comedians date or marry each other in the first place. >> Oh, really? Comedian comedian? >> Yeah. >> That is weird. >> It's it's two of the same thing in a way and it's like this is show me one successful one. >> That's why >> Is there one? >> Try and find me one. >> I I can't think of any. >> But yeah, think of like two stand-ups who >> The one that got close was Ali Wong and Bill Hader and then they >> They split too. >> You know why? It's cuz they're trying to out-funny each other and they're not laughing.
11:47 >> You think [laughter] so? >> Yeah, it's just a constant one-up of who's funnier, yeah. >> And they're like, "Well, you're not laughing at me? Well, ████ you then." >> Does that Has that happened to you Have you dated a comedian and you felt like that? >> No. >> You don't date comedians? >> No, no, I won't dip. No, no, no. Yeah, there's there's a 1-hour video of Ralphie May at the Comedy Store that I watched and like followed everything he said to a T and he was like, "Ladies, specifically, ladies, don't ████ comics. You'll never be known as anything other than the person that ████ that guy." And I was like, "You know what? Duly noted. I won't do that." >> He said that? >> Mhm. >> Are you disappointed? >> Ralphie May said that. >> I'm like, "Why would he ruin his Maybe that is >> didn't say it for men, by the way. He only said it for And he was like, "And you know how he is." And he was very Yeah. >> Smart guy, dude. >> But no. No. Not to >> So so so who do you who do you date then if not a comic? >> Magicians. >> I ████ HATE MAGICIANS! NO! >> [screaming] >> NO! I HATE MAGICIANS!
12:38 THEY'RE PROFESSIONAL LIARS, DUDE! I hate magicians! >> I mean, their whole life is a lie, baby. >> Yeah, that's what I'm saying. They lie for a living. You can't >> Aren't you turned on by the mystical like >> I HATE THIS >> [laughter] >> I HATE THAT! >> YOU DON'T LIKE WHEN THEY GOT THE cards coming out of their mouth like that? >> Yeah, no. No. No. >> Doesn't tantalize you at all? >> No. Hate magicians. I have some friends that are magicians, but I hate magicians. >> Even the Criss Angel kind of magicians that are like rock magicians? >> They're the worst. >> [laughter] >> They're the absolute worst. Cuz what is this look? What is this Why do you have to look like Ozzy Osbourne to hang by a fishing pole or whatever the hell is lifting you [laughter] up there? >> Okay, but what about the Penn and Teller kinds? But if they're with >> I like Penn and Teller. >> Yeah. >> I like Penn and Teller, but I wouldn't date them.
13:28 >> Even So, a comedy magician is not your dream guy? >> No. >> What about if it was a handsome Penn and Teller kind? >> What are you saying about Penn and Teller? >> But, they're >> But, imagine them PUT TOGETHER. >> IF MATT RIFE STARTED DOING MAGIC, I might think about it. >> [laughter] >> Yeah, exactly. You said business owners? >> Yeah, give me a good CEO, someone who built themself, yeah. >> I see that balance. >> Don't you don't they don't seem boring to you? >> Or busy? >> No, they're definitely busy, which is like great. Yeah, you go do your thing, I'll go do my thing, we'll meet up in the middle. >> And you can make him laugh when he's like mad about losing a million dollars. Any business at all, you don't care? >> Well, I mean, I would care. Like, I wouldn't date anyone who like is like a a butcher or something, like slaughtering animals. >> Oh, [laughter] yeah, cuz you're vegetarian, right? >> Yeah, yeah, yeah, I wouldn't do that, yeah. >> So, Mr. Foster from Foster Farms? >> Nope, nope, yeah, yeah, no, no Tyson,
14:20 no, no Mickey >> Maybe a carrot farmer, then? >> Yeah, a carrot farmer. >> I could do carrot farmer. >> But, that's not really a business owner, huh? Never mind. A carrot farmer? >> Yeah, I mean, if he owns the farm, right? >> Oh, yeah, that's true. >> He's probably got some animals, he's probably cool, he works with his hands. >> killing all those carrots? >> Huh? >> He's killing all those >> But, it's okay, she's vegetarian, she's a vegetable killer killer. >> Yeah, she's a veggie killer. >> Yeah. >> Yeah, I'm a veggie killer, yeah. Brutal assassin over here.
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