0:00 thank you [Music] welcome back to another very special episode of the careful boys where we are currently off the Record and today we are talking about times that we told our women something to spare their feelings so lie lie to them wow look at this trouble bro yeah you're trying to get us in trouble huh no I just think it's interesting you saying like a white lie or sparing information I mean whatever you want it to be right yeah like when she goes have you ever cheated on you're like no but
0:50 you really do you want to go with that one yeah that's a great one that's what Joe said let's share those stories the time like when you did it and you told me about it bar all right I'm gonna do spin the knife spend the night two goals first all right and you can't deflect I gotta think of a story dude that's the hard part no when I lie because I lie so often it's you it's you it's you it's you it's me all right because you're bigger so you got it you got your arms you have more width to be honest I think this is actually my fault oh where I don't and then I get in trouble even worse for being too honest you are kind of nervous because I have Asperger's so when they say something
1:41 I'm just the bar you don't have asthma Bart Burgers Bart Burger whatever they ask me I really think I like listen to the words and I go oh okay this is exactly what I heard so I will give you the response and then they'll let you stupid ████ that was I was looking for like you didn't listen to me emotionally you listen to me logically and then that's how you should get in trouble and then you blame Asperger's which is really smart that's all I said I say I say I'm sorry that's right I have Bart's Burgers dude but then the damage is done though you know what I mean I came home the other day and uh Tiff was watching your ngo's podcast which one and it was the one where it was like if you could change anything about me like what would it be and then your face was like he was responding to the question and I I was actually getting annoyed at Bart I was like Barney you're such a ████ ████ dude I've been down this road
2:31 before but she really wanted to know yeah she goes what would you change about me he goes your white hairs and he was like and you have a bunch of ████ cavities or whatever the ████ is in there that's silly gross his face was so straight I was like Dad it hurt my feelings bro I was like damn Bart what's your problem bro it looks like you could try that ████ mind for copper and that ████ I was like damn it's not being so mean to Geo ████ silver reminders like to slap a marble you had in your old place that looks like a ████ out of cavities up there what the ████ do you do ████ duplicate keys in your mouth or what I'm not change about me well first off you old hag those ████ hairs when I
3:21 watch that video I go man Bart really can't lie about it he got some uh T-1000 in there hey babe they're not filling the potholes every place in the city are they oh my God that's the the one that got me the most in trouble was uh oh man I forgot how it even came up but somehow I don't know what Ally ooped I could tell you my dunk and I don't even know why I dunk like that but I told her when she was pregnant it didn't turn me on that's a massive great solicitors [Laughter] hey but then your score went up by two yeah baby I got evicted out of the NBA for
4:13 ████ two years did you call her fat or some ████ I could have there was something else I could have I remember it was like it was something like oh man you ████ gained some weight oh I miss your old body or something like that you wanted that ████ maybe it was something like that something like along the lines of um Freaky Friday and it's like duh you got pregnant that's why she was fast all the guys think about I just say it and I get in trouble so remember the problem was like you don't say something to spare them yeah but what there's such a thing as sparing them you're the opposite I'm the opposite so I ████ up just turn into the room yeah I'll give you a good example okay of that exact thing okay go you go so I had an action I lived with for a very brief time um and what happened ultimately why we
5:04 broke up and why she left the apartment and everything was because I caught her emailing her ex like talking about when she was gonna go visit him yeah and that's ultimately why that is not truly ultimately why the real reason is that months before she had dyed her hair this really ugly color yeah and uh she wore this lipstick that I thought was so gross I couldn't stop thinking about it so she turned to a different person and I had lost so you must have felt like yes when she was cheating on you no I I already I it just happened to be something worse and you found my excuse huh yeah you made it her fault you son of a ████
5:56 [Laughter] [Applause] if something had turned you off and you were just like oh God I'm still turned off now and then coincidentally something worse happened then it was like oh well good I don't have to say that now was that perfectly timed or it was like a month or two it's like it's like a month that's omitting but it's not really the same example I think Steve's example is more so like straight up lied in a face she just got through a ████ car accident she looks like a monster and ████ but then you go you know what baby you've never been more beautiful oh I got a good one I've seen it fixed your face baby you don't even get it you don't need plastic surgery anymore I have a good one I'm going this is recent too this is recent this is
6:47 when we went to go to Hawaii and we saw you in uh in in Waikiki yeah we were at and my my lady was going through a foot injury or her leg was like swole like gross I know she gets it all the time huh what ████ foot ████ no it's just it's the same one all the time yeah dude it's been the same injury the doctors oh it's ████ foot ████ again here we go the doctor's just like oh great honestly that's how they've been treating us for the most part anyways we're at Waimea Bay and she's like we're walking out and every time she walks it swells up a little bit more because ████ girl get her some crutches fool I did but she didn't want to use them some Heelys get her a rollerblade just one oh that's fine and then she could go
7:37 like this but she's much better now anyways but good we're walking out and she goes hey babe like does my leg look swollen and I know Tiff is like she like she spirals if I tell her the ████ wrong thing and she'll like be like oh my God she can't enjoy the ████ day yeah yeah yeah when I was looking at her leg and it was looking like not like a leg I recognize you know elephant stumps wow okay not elephants bro that's my wife dude chill bro jeez did it look like Uriah Faber after Jose Aldo it kind of looks it looks swollen it was like visibly swollen it looked like garlic no it didn't because the gout is actually like more in the toe actually but it was so swollen like I looked at my sister was it kankly no it was like up in like like around the knee it was like swimming around everybody just keep asking questions before you can get to it you guys understand what a swollen leg looks like yeah it looks like a toddler's leg Yeah Yeah Yeah Yeah Yeah Yeah Yeah yeah but she was like babe they're like
8:28 does my leg look like swollen and I'm like I look at like my sister-in-law and she's like she's looking visibly worried too and I'm like I'm like not baby like totally fine ████ liar dude you look ████ primo and then I looked at my sister and I was like we should get her to sit down we gotta elevator foot like this is like I'm we're actually getting kind of worried a little bit but did it pay off it was she like oh good I couldn't enjoy yeah yeah yeah like she kind of stopped thinking I would have had her feelings hurt to be told her leg is swollen not her feelings hurt but like but she's like she would have been tripping she was like a Perpetual like worry ████ already had Tendencies to start tripping so that's right ████ ████ trip man yeah that word hypochondriac that ████ is just women
9:18 so your story is my chick bumped her leg and then like she got a bruise no yeah babe it's good that's that's what you got that's what I got well recently I'll think of another one there's like way more details than any other store yeah that's why that's why I brought it wasn't so Random limb yeah it looked like a toddler's leg I say what limb it was an Uncle's lip maybe you know it's one day at Bay it's the actual name of a beat that's true and then I can cooperate because and he was visiting me in Hawaii and she had a boot-ass leg Yeah it was like wow yeah she showed Hannah anybody have one that's maybe four times crazier than that I don't have anything great for my girlfriend he's a smooth liar though you didn't tell her her leg was swollen the comparison straight it has to be from
10:09 guys who are considerate who understand maybe this is not the right thing to say who has who I've attacked who has attacked but also who's good at lying well when when have you done that ████ dude I just go straight for the Hail Mary's and and I don't know I either ████ deny it completely and change the subjects I don't even want to go there or I just say straight up like bar that's an example an example Hail Mary you mean like ████ it Chuck it yeah just go for it it's just kind of like well I think like when it comes to the uh if I know like the physical stuff or like if they're hypochondriac I don't want to make it worse for them so at those times I'll be like man you're ████ crazy and I tell them to do the opposite thing you should run a mile with that ████ boot on your leg you know and then later I'm like that maybe that was the worst the best thing to say but ████
11:00 we're gonna go I'm using his wife as an example right now not like like something you did I'm gonna try to run a mile nah you know what I'm really good at is avoiding it all together when it gets tense yeah I don't ████ answer it the example I don't have nothing dude I do that too though because when they try to bring that ████ up and I'm like ████ there's no way to answer this man what was the situation that was brought up and then how did you yeah Julie this is six times he's like y'all ████ Chuck a hell man what'd you have to do no matter run away what's the time you did it hey check it out though this is what I think tell us about it would you who'd you hurt dude I'm like Bart I got no examples
11:56 how about you guys keep talking it might trigger a better memory usually that does happen this is the most recent thing that I could actually think no I don't have nothing smooth or crazy I didn't kick somebody out of the apartment and break up she was cheating dude I will say that there's like for example I remember when I brought Nina home to my parents and then we would eat dinner and stuff and then my mom would speak to me in Vietnamese and in Vietnamese she goes how come your wife's not cleaning up oh and she said in Vietnamese yeah did you say because she's a Filipino no because at the end of the day I think they do too oh no I know it should but then I was like I don't I'm not gonna say that that's like Wax so the only thing I could do is get up and clean up myself yeah you know what I mean because I'm like how am I gonna translate that I don't want to make my mom look bad either yeah you know what I'm saying that's a tough spot I didn't want to put her that's a good example the way my mom
12:47 would ask something like that she would she's waiting for the answer because then she's already she already put out oh you're the lady you brought in is uncivilized so if she doesn't civilize herself she's not worthy of this family is how my mom would like how do you that's tough cater back I don't think my mom's that intense on maybe like 50 so again I think it's it's it was quicker for me to just get up and clean up so the situation was changed does that like make her go like oh ████ like he doesn't if my if that so if that was my mom in that situation I would clean but I would be on my mom's mind still she was like okay so she is so unruly my son had to step in wow and she still needs to be educated on this like okay here's the point like that and like here's like a ████ the 30-point inspection on this car you
13:38 are not Car Max material like that inline ████ it's it's just it's a lose-lose situation so the only thing that I feel like I could do is just like change it myself you know I mean change the variables is all damn that's good and your mom was like oh I forget but I just saw keep going on a dinner time I'm sure I probably clap back in some quickly I'll be like I'm not gonna say that's right now I'll just do it myself Nina didn't understand what she said yes and I wasn't gonna say that to Nina either is that what you're saying I think the second I got up and started doing things she chose to get up and start doing oh that's dope oh wow I'm still sitting down enjoying myself for having the conversation suddenly she's gonna start getting up and cleaning up after every good navigation dude what about when you go home do you talk to her about it like hey like my mom be tripping next time
14:28 you gotta I feel like what that's one of those things that's also so slightly small yeah that it doesn't do any good to do anything and it also kind of paints my mom and also a little bit of like a really old school way that like I don't care to pay my modeling so you never told Nina about this hi see this is what's beautiful about Anthony I learned so much because I car crashed both ways I'm like ████ why are you talking about women like that hey Jill can you ████ clean next time because you're ████ a ruling and this ████ car crashes both ways it's all liabilities yeah everyone gets it all right see Mom that's why I don't bring ████ chicks over to eat with you cause you say dumb ████ and I'm like Geo you are a Savage you need to go ████ quick
15:19 getting for himself to watch a drama he's making his life work he never has his own back I know mine has never gone The Reflex of like oh I should spare someone's feelings in this huh I try to sometimes try to somewhere but he's so bad I can't hold it in lie I tried to oh my God that's funny because I feel like if I do then now I gotta keep track of all the ████ things I say it's yeah it's like keeping track of the lies then it's so hard because then next time it might you might get caught slipping you're like oh yeah oh yeah when you're pregnant you're so fine you know they're pregnant again I won't spare I don't miss your whole body at all that's like an outfit or fashion though oh like at home it's like if it's like she's like how do I look I'm like that doesn't match like what are you thinking what are you talking about what do you
16:10 think she'll do the same to me too right I'll be like hey can I wear this do I look good she'd be like no no I'm changing you know what I mean it's like it's very I did that when uh with my ex when she had a dreams of being a speed skater out of nowhere because Apollo Ono got popular so she was like I want to do that I think that's what I want and she bought speed skates over like hundreds of dollars and went to her first class and I was there to support her and I was like you need to actually go ████ fast oh ████ I was like because I was pissed because I was like this is unrealistic you're afraid to go fast you want to be a speed skater not more than any normal Charlie Brown character oh ████ I was like actually mad because she because she had this thing like you don't support me why don't you like believe in my dreams I'm like you don't want to go fast yeah a speed skater yeah that's hilarious like
17:01 I I think I earned that one how long were you guys dating for after that two two very bad deers oh wow but that was along the second year so it was on its way out yeah very slowly on the ice that's a tough situation what about you though are you just a smooth criminal yeah so yeah he's asking for tips so for 10 years I have been with Nikki that's a long time and yeah and for 10 years I have been telling her that I think Filipino food is like my second favorite of all fine really and for 10 years I have been so full of ████ ████ here [Music] [Laughter]
17:52 I think Filipino food is ████ trash that's what I think that's how you ████ fit that's how you finish in a video dude just put it in the in the trash where it belongs it's pretty good I I was just I just pretend to eat like that put the fork down flip it upside down in the trash and I just hear all that ████ two pounds of food just go I do that move right I do the same move upside down plate moves means ew yeah I can't imagine you not wanting to tell her that I know right why would that be something that you couldn't wait to tell her that her old cultural food belongs in the trash no
18:44 why would that be something to lie about thankful thankfully JK fans are gonna be cool they're not gonna Center this okay don't blow up the Spy right yeah please trying to keep this one going for another 10 years so we'll see damn dude I couldn't think of one story where I ████ lied to a girl hey hey some of us aren't perfect I just ████ alienated half of my family yeah that's true you're not gonna do anything Hail Mary's here you're not gonna ████ Chuck it but like Bart dude's crazy you you're just so like not really I don't ████ up that hard I don't say that kind of ████ but I do say stuff I just don't remember I'll figure it out in five other videos
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