0:00 [Music] What's up everybody? Welcome back to a Judo's Better Than Jiu-Jitsu episode of the Careful Boys. Yeah. Uh, here's a question. Just as a kid, what's something that traumatized you? Oh, um, you remember that movie where the kids are on the island together? Yeah. What's it called? Lord of the Flies. Lord of the Flies. Dude, I know there was a movie. That movie was wild, man. Yeah, you had to read the book in school. Yeah, that movie terrified me as a kid for sure. What happens in the movie? They like kill each other with spears and like that. Throw remember they throw piggy off the rocks. They throw rocks at this kid and like smash his head in. It was crazy movie, dude. How old were you when you watched it? I I I remember my older cousins were
0:50 watching it and I was probably like 5 years old and it was wild. Absolutely wild. Yeah, that is pretty crazy to watch at five. Yeah, that's the kind of ████ that Bart shows Tao now. Legit. No, like 300 and stuff. Yeah, Bart's showing in Tao like IP man too and ████ I see P man. You know what I'm talking about. I see you. The Chinese film about intellectual property. Oh ████ IP man. You know what I'm talking about. He goes across the world right by the ████ eye cup man. Yeah. Catch a kid peing by the river. See you pee. I peed man. Oh. Okay. Lower the lower the for sure. Just
1:41 so out of nowhere. But he Ta actually likes normal kid movies. Like right now he's the one he's binge watching is Mighty Ducks 2. So I let him watch a bunch of ████ Oh that's a good And he ends up choosing because he's over Blood Sport and Rumble in the Bronx. Yeah. He's done with Blood Sport. watch it like did you show him Aaron Barakovich? No, it's about a lawyer. You should just show weirdass serious movies. American Pie. The firm. You know that you know that guy that John Gish was a great author. You know that guy that's been playing the uh theme song to Blood Sport? Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. The '8s. The guy who's been playing the theme song to Blood Sport. He has a movie playing in the background. Yeah. He has a VHS playing. I'm like, "Dude, check this out." out and I show Ta and he goes, "Man, he's just pressing the buttons while I was playing the music somewhere else." So skeptical. I'm like, "No, dude. He's actually playing the song." He's a little hater, dude. Got a
2:32 little hater on our hand. Hey, real quick. Tell us the story, but put some respect on my name. So, um, you know, like kids, they like to compare like my bike's cooler than yours. You're cool. Whatever. He got into one of those arguing fests with like another kid at school and they're like, "Oh, I'm cooler than you. I'm whatever than you." And he goes, "Well, I'm more famous than you." And then the other kid's like, "No way. I'm more famous than you." And he goes, "Google my name." So they Googled his name on the school computer like in a fun computer lab. Taan pops up and they're like, "Whoa." And he goes, "Put some respect on my name. Get out of here." Do you know about this? Cuz he went to the principal's office after. Why do you know about this? She Yeah, he told you and then Jio told me. You're never going to believe what he told him when I picked him up from school and I was like how many time he can use that infinitely. Google me is hilarious. But
3:23 then how many kids could say that, dude? That's crazy. It is weird, dude. Put some respect on my name. That's so great. What did the other kid do? He just sat there just smoked at the computer. He's just completely smoked. Turned it off. Smoke. What can you do? Yeah. What do you do, dude? That would traumatize me as a kid, dude. If someone smoked me that hard, that's the ultimate dunk. You're like, "Yeah, it is cuz everyone's everyone's telling lies, you know, like cuz he cuz like I I see their little like friendly rivalry that they have." I do jiu-jitsu. He go, "What belt are you?" And I'm gray. He goes, "Well, I'm a black belt." And then I'm like, "Puppy is a black belt." And I'm like, "You can't even be black until you're 18 in jiu-jitsu." So they just always tell each other lies. So I'm sure when he said I'm famous, the other kids probably like this fool's ████ lying like I am. Until they Googled it, they like, "Oh, what the f███?" Weird twist. Yeah. And now Ta is just chilling. Just
4:14 always chilling at at school. Just being like, he's like, I'll never have to buy a pre-workout for the rest of my life. Got a whole garage for a little bit. Creatine gummies. I'm all stock. You can always tell what conversations he had at school cuz he'll come back and the first thing he does is always fact check. He's like, "Can scooters go 60 m hour?" I'm like, "I don't think so." You're just arguing. Adam told me. Adam told me the scooter goes 60 miles an hour. 60 miles an hour. Yeah. All ████ day, dude. I remember there was a kid there's a kid in my kindergarten named Zach and he was telling me about how his dad's like the best artist. I was like, "My dad has way better artist for no reason. Just just to say it. Just to say it. I never seen my dad draw anything maybe ever." It reminds me of that video when that girl's bragging about her dad having a gold tooth and then the other one's like, "Well, my dad
5:04 has diabetes." Oh yeah. I'm like, "The ████ is that? That's not even a flex. My dad has to take two shots in the morning. My dad has a gold tooth. A gold tooth. My dad has diabetes. A gold tooth. What about you, Nick? Anything traumatized you as a kid? Feel like everything was traumatizing to me as a kid. Your sister slamming the door on you every day. Hey, so we we were there's the me and Dave were talking about this on our other pot and it was about this uh the viral video of that little Chinese kid. He's trying to speak English and he's trying to say it's 7:00 and then his sister is helping him like pronounce it. But they're from China. And this kid is crying. The the boy's like he's like, "It's 7:00." And then the sister is like yelling at him. He's like, "It's 7:00."
5:54 And they're just going back and forth and they're both saying it wrong. Yeah. But like, you know, one kid is saying it way worse. It's more right than the other. Yeah. Yeah. and they're technically right, but it's like, you know, very But he's just like crying trying to read English. And I was like, it immediately put me back to hooked on phonics days where I just was getting They're just like, "What? Cat." It was like that like you ████ can't get this. It's a C. Like they're just yelling at me and I'm just like, "Okay, all right." And I watched that video and I was like, I think I'm still a little ████ up from that. I swear to God, every time I do homework with Tao, I'm traumatizing him. Really? Yeah. Cuz like he's a creative ████ with ADHD. So like whatever the homework assignment is, he has his own thoughts. Oh yeah. So like there was one about
6:45 like it's like reading comprehension. You have to read this story and it was about like one duck helping another duck. I mean two ducks helping this turtle like cross the stream or whatever. And they had like a a stick and then so ████ Bernard the turtle like grabbed the stick and was like going across or whatever, right? And then I was like u and they need to cross to get the turtle back in water. And I'm like okay the question is oh why would Bernard cross in the stream? And the first like answer would be like the criminals are chasing him and I was like where in where in the article they want the diamonds in his the hell's angels on his tail. Where did it say the criminals are chasing him? And he goes, "They're they're chasing him, papa." And it's real to him. Oh, wow. He's like, "They're real. They're just chasing him." And I'm like, "Where? Where does it say?" He goes, "You can tell. Just read it." I'm like, "Between
7:35 the lines." And I'm like, "Mother f█████." I'm like, "This guy's so creative, but he doesn't understand. We just need to extract the facts." And it the facts say, "Get the turtle to water." But then he's making up all this other ████ ████ out of it. Damn, dude. I discovered that ████ in high school, man. I was like, "They just want the answers in the book." And I'm like, "Yeah, that's all they want." Take it to high school. Before I thought they wanted you to formulate your own thoughts. Yeah, exactly. So, I was like, even after the teacher said, "Don't formulate your own thoughts." I never heard that part. See, they're just turning you into a factory worker. When they were telling you, I was like, "It it can't possibly be this easy where they're just asking you." I thought they wanted you to read and then now you have to think of abstract based on what you're reading. And then but then I'm like, well, if it's that easy,
8:26 why don't I just open the book and copy it? And it's like, yeah, that's what they wanted you to do. And I'm like, ████ dude. That's so simple. I couldn't even think of that. Damn. But it took me that long to think of it. That's a long time. Hella long. But high school, man. I went to a stupid high school. I might have been dumber than that in the other way because it's like sometimes I I didn't even think like the answer would just be in the book, you know? Yeah. Yeah. Like word for word like why would they just put the answer there? If you're asking a question, why would you just have like the it's why would you ask that? You know it. Well, I was dumb in the other way where I know the answers are in the book, but since I can't read, I can't find the answer. So I'm like, you're telling me it's in this paragraph and I'm trying to read,
9:16 but then like I can't really understand what it's what the words are forming. So I'm like, ████ I know like Paul Bunan did something. I just need to like find what Paul Bunan did, but I couldn't I couldn't I had the same thing. I couldn't read without instant like if I look at the paper, I'm instantly thinking of something else. I felt like I was playing word search. Did you have to read like the same sentence like three times or something? Like I just keep I keep trailing off. I don't know why. Yeah, that's what I do now. I didn't used to do that. I do that now. Oh yeah, dude. I'll be trying to read a book now and then I'm dementia's kicking in. I know. And then I'm I'm thinking about I'm thinking about how like, you know, Nikki said the the the spaghetti I made was too spicy. I'm like, it wasn't too spicy. I didn't put any ████ spicy. I'm trying to read a trying to read like three three paragraphs on my winning fake arguments in my head right now. Yeah, exactly. I'm like, how's it too spicy? What the hell did I put in there? I didn't put anything in there. I put onion powder in there. What the ████ is that? Looking back now, like when I
10:08 look back at how I was studying, I'm like, you ████ idiot. It's just right there. Look at the glossery. Look at the bold words. And but then like at the time, literally the second I see the page, I'm thinking of like outer space for some ████ That's 80. And then I start and I start crying and what's wrong with me? And then when I thought I was like, okay, so this is how you do it. Like the answer is just like written like what that's what you want, right? So then you start going into like essays and stuff. Yeah. And then they tell you to like site your sources. So I had like a phase where like okay the answer to this like abstract thing is oh somebody already wrote about this exact question. So I would take that whole thing I would put it in my essay and then I'll cite where it's from. And I got in trouble for that and I was like I think teachers were were not very good at explaining to a kid how to put something in your own words. A lot of teachers weren't good at that. Yeah, dude. When I learned quotations my essays were 90% just
11:00 plagiarism. Yeah. I would just put quotation here and I would look at the book and I'll be like D like three pages and in quotation cuz I think what they left out was that they want you to do this thing where like okay read that put in your own words. They left out that that guy did that too that that guy also read something and that's in his own words and then you're doing in your own words. They made it look like this was the the source. I thought they invented that ████ Yeah, me too. I was like oh this is the first guy that how am I supposed to put in my own words? He did it best. I'm like how can I be better than that? Got to be better than Hunter is traumatizing. Yeah, it is. It's cuz like I feel like everyone is like, "What the f███?" And on top of that, you're getting your ass beat. Are we getting soft? This room is uniquely dumb. Yeah. But also, our profession reading is hard. Okay. But also, it's it's because we get our ass beat. So,
11:50 that's what's traumatizing about it is you're just someone's trying to ████ tutor you. They're screaming at you. And then so there's pressure on top of not knowing what the ████ is going on. And I remember my mom trying to teach me math and smacking me the ████ up while I'm trying to get the answers right. And I was like, "F███, dude." I had to go to freaking Silven Learning Center. You know what that is? It's like the white people kuman. What is it? It's It's like Kuman. Like it's like the most boring place. Like it's a tutoring center. It's a place where so like it's it's almost to die. They It's a tutoring center where like but it's mainly for you to do your homework in front of a person that makes sure you do your homework. They're not really school and now you got to go there. Yeah. They're not really like doing it for you or helping you that much. You're not getting ahead. You're just staying like on track. They're just there to be like, "If you have questions, I'm right here." So, you're just sitting at this round table and there's one guy that's just like watching all of you do your homework.
12:40 And then when you go, I don't know what to do. They're like, "Okay, let me help you with that." Whatever. But then it's really just to do it yourself and and be monitored. I had to go to Stonewood Mall after school to do that ████ Sucked. I used to go in the bathroom and jack off. That's my day. And the guy was like, the guy was like, you were in there a long time. You're like, I had to poop. I'm constipated. I was pretty sleepy after you poop. And Ryan goes, I had to use my imagination. He's like, what does that mean? They did this thing called transition time at Silven Learning Center where it's like after you've worked for like 25 minutes, they do 5 minutes of like a game and then uh for this one they had like a little basketball hoop and everyone lined up and like took a shot. That's like ████ Lumen, dude. And if you
13:32 ████ basketball time, guys, you got a gift certificate to the mall that the Silven Learning Center was in for like five bucks. That's crazy. Yeah. And then that's the only thing I liked about it. Damn. It was the basketball hoop time. That's true cuz studying and like doing homework always I was like man I want to jack off and then you just like and you never did your homework. It's always an option. It was Why does it Why does that happen? Like you get all anxious and you're like I think that's why you get anxiety. You're like you just want different elements in your brain to like take control. Dude, I don't want to read this ████ I'm going to go jack off. The traumatizing thing for the the traumatizing part for me was when I was in the spelling be like our school was like really big on spelling bee for uh the conference like like 300 kids or whatever and then I've actually like won the one in my school. My sister got first place in the whole district the
14:22 year before. So my parents were like oh you you have to do as good or whatever. And then I I passed the my own school spelling be and I had to do the big one. And then my mom was helping me review the words and she got so frustrated with me. She like threw the like all the papers and walked away. And I was like, damn, I never seen my mom do that before. You know how ████ I was? I thought people that were good at spelling be were just really good at guessing. I was like, ain't no guessing. There's no way people know these words like this. You know what word I missed? I was like, dude, that guy's hella good. That Indian kid's hella good at guessing. The word that knocked me out in like the big spelling was undulate. How do you spell what is that? Can you use it in a sentence? U N D U L A T E. Easy. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. ████ What? What? ████ I don't know that cuz you know what got me was bookkeeper, dude. Bookkeeper was that cuz the
15:12 KK bookkeeper there's two K's. Bookeeper. Oh yeahep. I know. I didn't think of it like that. See bookkeeper. Undulate. Dude, I can't really spell like like and or I can't tell you what a word is like by verbal like telling you the letters. I just have to ████ tell the word. So that's you just say the word back. No, undulate. Yeah, undulate. Whatever. And I'm like, that's what I got to do. I got It takes me so much brain power to be like uh speculation. S E B. ████ dude. I don't Can you say Can you say it like that, too? I can't give you the someone's phone number by their numbers. Yeah, that's true. P. I gotta see I gotta see the the the word
16:02 and then say it. I can't just ████ say it. How about if it's Japanese words? Is it easier? Like marug. Spell that. M A G. Cuz I'm sounding it out while I'm writing it. Gau. G A R U M E. But like when I when you if you tell me to write it, I'll just write it. Oh, okay. So, I can't like visualize and say it. Yeah. Oh, so having your parents punch you didn't help, dude. I don't know. My mom told me the other day. She was like, didn't really help that much. She's like, I don't know how you learn. I'm like, I don't ████ know either. Cuz she goes, you know, one time we were doing math and then I got so frustrated. I was just like, you know, just I'm late to make dinner, so just just deal with it. And then she started
16:53 making food. And so she checked up on me like 10 minutes later and she said the whole thing was done and I was playing with toys. And then she's like, "Where did you copy this s███?" And then she looked at me and I was like, "I didn't even do it." So like, you didn't do any of it? You went to a fug state and just ████ did that, dude. Like literally, I probably some I probably like did it and then I was like, "Oh, ████ it." And then I just I wanted to play with my toys or something, but she was like, "How did you ████ do this?" or whatever. And I'm like, "I don't know. I just finished it." Damn, dude. And then this was like in elementary school, but I was so ████ stupid that like I thought that you know when you get the certificates and different awards of like perfect attendance and whatever. I thought that was the lotto. Wow. So, I was just like, "Oh, you thought random kid just got it
17:43 this ████ year, man. I'm going to get the perfect attendance and you're eligible, but I'd be late and ████ or like I'd be I wouldn't come to class." And I'm like, "This year I'm going to get ████ just randomly give it out." Yeah. Actually, no. You know what just ████ me up? You know what just ████ me up? So, uh my uh my niece my niece has like 12 other students in her class or whatever, right? And then she got student of the month recently. And you you remember student of the month, right? Of course. Yeah. So I I How do you get student of the month, kids? Well, here's the thing. That would have been me. The the problem what I just realized and what my sister was explaining to me is they got excited as parents, too. Like she finally got student of the month, but then she's got 12 kids in her class. The other 11 kids already got student of the month. That's how my school did it. My school did it. Literally, you just had a turn. That's
18:33 See, that's what I'm saying. I never got a turn. ████ It should be the same kid every month if they're good enough. Yeah, for real. Yeah. Merit based society, guys. No, ours is she just get a turn. That's what I thought when I got student of the month. I thought I did something. Oh, but it's just because it was my turn. You had like 30 kids in your class, then it is the top 12 or whatever or whoever the school year is. I did cuz you can't cuz you can't give all 30 kids a turn. No, I'm talking about the assembly. You you you guys remember those massive like where all the the whole elementary school come and then they give out awards and ████ Mhm. Like that that thing is like not it's not a a participation trophy. You actually get stuff. You get stuff. Yeah. When I thought that was a lot. Yeah. Like a or whatever. That's funny to think. I know, right? You're just like, "So ████ is it me? Is it me?" You know
19:26 you didn't go to school. No. Yeah. Later you go. You know you were absent. Dude, my favorite thing about the valadictorian speech real quick was that that you know how they always do that that ████ where they go like, "Well, we all got here." It's like, "Wow, crazy. Take a deep breath." And then they're like like, "All those nights we spent studying, working hard." And I'm like, "You just lost me, brother. You just I I don't relate to you at all." Yeah. Hey, you're natural. Do not
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