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New Yorkers Beheaded Elmo

#elmo#gay#sesamestreet#aids#unclebob
the transcript auto-captions · entered into evidence

0:00 So, did you guys hear that Elmo has been really admonished in New York City? >> What? >> So, he tweeted out "Elmo hopes both teams have fun" about the NBA finals, Spurs versus Knicks. And then the Knicks won, and they did this to Elmo. >> No, they decapitated Elmo? >> They put his head on a spike. >> That's his traitor. >> Honestly, that's traitor behavior. >> [laughter] >> That's a ████ kids toy, dude. That's crazy. >> a Knicks fan, so how was he a traitor? >> not a Knicks fan. He said "Elmo hopes both teams have fun." >> It says So, why is he a traitor? >> Does that sound like rider energy to you? >> No, but that's like saying a traitor is someone that's been on your side and then they flip. >> How are they on the Knicks side then, if he's saying both teams have fun? >> That's what I'm saying. Why is he a traitor? >> Yeah, but cuz he didn't say "No, Knicks." >> To New Yorkers, he he basically didn't say "Go >> Wait, is Sesame Street in New York? Is

0:51 that the reason why like he's a native New Yorker and >> That's what I'm saying. Then he's for sure a traitor. >> Look at that fool. Burn that >> Cuz the whole setting of Sesame Street it >> The backdrop it makes it look like it's New York. They got a Puerto Rican kid, you're like that's New York, dude. >> So, so now Elmo >> New Yorker. >> Yeah. So, now Elmo Elmo has come out about the World Cup because of all the heat that Elmo took. And Elmo has a message about the World Cup that he wants us all to hear. >> Just to be clear, Elmo wants Team USA to win. >> JUST TO BE CLEAR. >> [laughter] >> Don't make this a thing. >> That's amazing. >> That's awesome. >> Elmo loves you, and Elmo loves you, and Team USA, and everybody is playing. Just to be clear. >> [laughter]

1:41 >> That's awesome. That's perfect. That's so funny. >> What a difference that makes, you know? A little humor. >> I like the paw. >> That's a different Elmo. >> you talking about? >> The red is off. That's not the same Elmo. >> It's the HP Envy. >> I could be the [laughter] TV, too. The colorization. I SPENT $400 on it. >> Clone, dude. They killed the actual Elmo. That's what happened. It doesn't even SOUND LIKE ELMO. >> OH, WAIT. IS IT BECAUSE THEY banned red 40 or whatever? >> Oh, yeah. >> RFK Elmo? >> It's vegetable dye. >> Red 40, bring red 40 back. >> Double Elmo, dude. That's a ████ That's a Jim Carrey double body double CIA ████ Type in Elmo. I'mma show you right now. >> Type in original red 40 Elmo. >> Prove you guys the ████ real This is

2:32 not real. It doesn't even sound >> Big joke. This is big one. >> It doesn't sound like real Elmo. >> Hey, Hot Topic. Turn this into a Hot Topic. >> [laughter] >> Joe's the guy who's still going to SeaWorld. He's like, "Where's Willy? Where's Shamu?" >> I know real Elmo, dude. >> You know him cuz cuz you watched >> I'm like one of those guys that like Hey, I can spot a fake Rolex from a mile away. I know what Elmo, Tickle Me Elmo, and real Elmo looks like. Why? Cuz he was the only friend I had growing up. >> Honestly, that Elmo is a lot more closer in color to Lotso. >> Tickle me right there. >> Oh, that's red 40. >> That's See? >> Yeah, that's red as The dye changed. >> That's red as ████ >> He did slim down. >> His face is more like a circle oval, and then the other one is more like a football. >> Well, one of them >> And then look at the nose. It's a >> This one's a This one's like a cartoon, the other one's like live action,

3:22 though. >> Okay, go go go Just type in Just just look for ████ I'mma tell you, man. >> Tickle me. Now, you're good. >> Go back to the other Olympics Elmo. >> Look Joe standing up. >> [laughter] >> This is serious, dude. I haven't seen Joe this ████ passionate in a while. >> That guy's kind of raggedy looking, too. >> That's just purple Elmo. >> That's Lotso. >> All right, here comes >> I know Lotso when I see him. >> READY? THAT'S ELMO. >> THAT'S A CRACKHEAD. >> [laughter] >> NO, that's like old Elmo. >> That's the real Elmo. That's the red cup Elmo. >> Skid row Elmo. >> That Elmo has been through the system. >> This is like Elmo's like weird older brother. >> [laughter] >> Yeah, that's El- like Felmo or something. >> Is Elmo like Elmo don't do meth anymore? >> Like Elmo. >> Elmo >> That's the Elmo I know. >> Elmo came out of rehab. >> Yeah, yeah, yeah. >> [laughter] >> This is Heisenberg. That's what he is.

4:12 >> Yeah, but he That's what I'm saying is real red Elmo. The next generation one is purple Elmo. >> Oh, well, that's AIDS Elmo. >> Oh, ████ >> No, cuz they had a um Remember they had the Sesame Street character that had AIDS? I think it was purple. Yeah. You don't remember that? That was like 20 years ago. No, close. Snuffleupagus? There was an AIDS character who came in. I'm not kidding. >> AIDS character is crazy. [laughter] >> I don't know any AIDS. >> There was an HIV-positive Sesame Street >> I don't know. He's not wrong though, Ashley. There That was a story. I remember. >> very familiar. >> I'm on the money. Trust me. >> Wait, is it when they also had the Oh, no, that's >> Also, Bob died of AIDS, so I kind of know about this cuz he was a gay man living a gay lifestyle. >> So. >> Will, don't get uncomfortable. Thank you. >> Oh. >> French. >> But, yeah. >> This HIV-positive character's name Kami

5:03 introduced in 2002. South African co-production. >> You know this cuz you're still watching Sesame Street in 2000 I wasn't watching. No, I don't watch Sesame Street in 2002. >> Oh my god. She has such kind eyes. >> the background while I work. >> Well, she's not around anymore cuz she probably croaked. >> Oh. Is she a lesbian? >> No, no. Didn't say. I don't think you get AIDS from being a lesbian though. >> But, she looks kind of lesbian, too. >> Can't confirm or deny. >> Yeah, but I don't know about all that, you guys. Come on. >> It's a gay thing. >> But, you're not supposed to say it. >> Cuz the vest. That's what threw you off. >> Hey, was your Was your Uncle Bob gay? But, was he closeted? So, you know what's crazy? Like Hannah knows a lot of people in the dragon gay world, right? And then so she says that like a lot of dudes like from the gay

5:54 dudes from the '80s and whatever, right? They casually just talk about like how there's so many fallen soldiers. Like so many like of their friends just passed. That was like normal cuz of AIDS. >> Yeah. >> Like it was like a thing. Like you know like Freddie Mercury and all that like, right? So like yeah, I guess it's like if they went through that era it's they knew someone that passed or like and then it was it was like lucky for them >> My parents just cuz my uncle Bobby used to come over all the time and he always had a guy friend with him. We just thought, "Oh, it's just like cool friends." Like we never like put it together that he was gay. >> Your family never told you. >> Well, they told us when I was in middle school. They're like cuz I remember one time I was like, "Man, I was like can't believe Uncle Bob never sued." Cuz and my parents are like, "What do you mean?" And I'm like, "Oh, cuz you guys said that Uncle Bob died of AIDS

6:45 because he a dirty needle in the hospital." And like, "Oh, yeah, about that." >> [laughter] >> Like no, Uncle Bob was gay in the you know, in closeted Pennsylvania area. >> He had one gay or two gay? >> He was I think he was a man about town. >> Woah. >> When you say she had one gay or two gay, what >> Oh, I'm American. >> [laughter] >> Oh wait, I have an uncle that has that, too. >> That has AIDS? >> No, no, that Like someone's like, "Oh, he dirty needle he got AIDS, but he's probably gay." >> He's gay. >> Your parents just didn't have the stones to tell you what's up. >> No, I think they believe it, too. >> Who who's that? >> Oh, really? Damn, brother. That's even worse. That means that they're doing gentle parenting to your parents. Oh, yeah. But uh your That's the guy's gay, dude. >> Damn, that's crazy. >> When you guys have family gatherings, do

7:35 they go, "Don't share the ████ cups with Uncle"? >> I know he he he died Uncle. He died already? >> Oh. [snorts] >> [laughter] >> Laugh from wallpaper. >> That sucks. Who Who Who's the most gay here? >> Dude. >> Oh, sorry. >> Come on, man. You know the answer. Dude, by the way, I 6 X Nick's body count, dude. I'm ████ straight. >> Can you stop saying 6 X? It makes me feel bad. >> Damn. >> Yeah, bud. It's a lot of ████ to get. >> I like gay actions with women. >> What do you mean by that? What do you mean by that? What do you mean gay actions? >> I like gay sex with women. >> What? The Okay, so >> The stuff that guys butt lick by women. >> Licked or >> Rusty trombone.

8:25 >> Okay. Tongue Tongue in or tongue out? >> Whatever she wants to surprise me with. >> That's nice. >> Barty, you're the only one who voluntarily watched gay porn. >> That's true. >> Yeah, me too. >> But that's also what makes him not gay. >> Will you vote >> Wait, why did you watch gay porn? >> I just want to see if I get turned on. >> Taiwanese autistic ████ >> What? What the ████ What is it going to be Taiwanese? >> Steve is never disgusted, by the way. >> Both were like, "I'm just I'm watching gay porn only to see if I get turned on." You guys are like, "Dude, that's not gay." You're like, "Okay, I get it." >> Yeah, cuz it's what happens afterwards. >> Yeah. >> No, no, trust me, I understand. You know what >> 20 minutes of gay [laughter] porn or something. >> He committed. >> first time, sure. >> Afterwards, I didn't like it. I'm like, "Oh, I'm not gay." >> Wait, you came to it? >> No! I didn't even I didn't even last a second. >> Oh, okay. >> So, I I tried. I watched the stuff that I watched the stuff that I like normally. And then I got I got hard. Okay, cool.

9:16 Now, I'm going to watch some gay stuff, see if it'll continue the feelings. As soon as I turned it on, I was like, "Oh, ████ this is disgusting." >> Honestly, the story is a little too bulletproof. I'm not really buying it. >> [laughter] >> Of course. Of course you watched gay porn and you weren't affected. >> Am I Am I gay? >> way to clear your name? >> [laughter] >> Am I gay if I was convenient to come to gay >> [laughter] >> porn? >> Excuse me? >> Am I gay if I was tricked into coming to gay porn? >> What the ████ Bro, if you coming to gay porn, you gay. >> Wait, is this the one where the guy >> I know this one. I know this. >> All right. >> Let me tell you. >> You can't get tricked into coming with gay >> Listen to listen to listen to Listen. >> Yeah. >> Um

10:07 I I you know, some you click sometimes I don't read the the title. I just click a thumbnail. And in the thumbnail super >> [laughter] >> I make sure, dude. I make sure. >> super hot girl like blow job a guy. >> Right? So, I was like >> Super hot girl blow job a guy. >> I was LIKE >> WHAT IF >> [cheering] >> LIKE, I LIKE a blow job. That's one of my favorite things. It's right up my alley. So, then um uh So, I get my dick on. >> You know, I'm watching. >> She's sucking him off, doing the quack quack quack. I'M LIKE, "OH, NO. I'M GOING TO ████ ████ IN A WHAT?" And then So, then So, then she stops. And then he's like, you know, kissing her titties. And I'm like, "Oh, ████ He going to ████ eat her out." And he goes down and she has this hard ass dick. And then I'm already about to bust cuz I was about to bust on the ████ titties. And then he starts sucking

10:59 And I'm like, [laughter] "IT'S TOO LATE." AH, AND I CAME AND I WAS LIKE, "I DIDN'T WANT TO COME AT THAT MOMENT, BUT I I >> DUDE, THAT'S DENIAL. >> YEAH, no no. You're gay. You're >> Yeah, I think you're bottom. >> That one Those ones you need a do-over. >> Yeah. >> I didn't want it. >> You [laughter] did it again. >> You got to do you have a do-over. >> you sucked. >> That one doesn't count. >> Control group and now you need a test group. >> Cuz what what made you finish was the guy >> No no no no. >> do it fellatio. >> I was already edging. >> Technically technically >> I was edging and then I couldn't held it anymore. >> No asterisks. It's either did you come or not? Or not? Yes or no? >> Felt so GOOD I COULDN'T STOP. I was more like the feeling >> so good? >> not in the eyes. Plead the fifth. Plead the fifth amendment of the constitution of the United States. >> All I'm saying is no. >> the right not to incriminate myself. >> The visuals is not what I wanted. It's

11:50 like this. Remember when like we always talk about why do they have to cut to the guy's face when you're about to nut? >> Coverage. I found out later though. >> Yeah, but it turns me off, right? And if I if you don't time it right, instead of coming with the guy, you're coming on his face. >> Woah, why you trying to come with the guy, dude? What's going on? >> By the way, they should just cut to the wall, dude. Why do they cut TO THAT GUY? [laughter] RIGHT? CUT TO THE WALL, DUDE. I DON'T GIVE A ████ CUT TO A ████ FAN. WHY DO THEY CUT TO THE GUY GOING LIKE GOD DAMN ████ YOU ████ YOU. >> [laughter] >> SO THEY KNOW IT'S REAL. >> WELL, I try to sync my nut because I think it's so cool to come at the same time, but Well, when he does his ████ shot, you want to pretend that that's your dick coming, right? So that's Well, I think a lot of people do. That's why they film it that way.

12:40 Yeah, but then >> Yeah, I always ████ way faster than that guy. >> [laughter] >> No, so so Bob presses the play and then he goes and then he goes skip to the ████ shot. >> Yeah. >> That's gay, dude. >> [laughter] >> But there's also the times when you just can't last as long and you just come halfway and this was one of those moments where I could have last and then I came and I I was like, but that's not the moment I wanted to come. But that's so gay. >> Did you run it back right after? >> Yeah, you got to do a do-over. >> Bart's right. >> Yeah, you got to run it back, dude. And if you didn't run it back, that means >> you're insecure about it. >> You're gay, dude. It's just what It's okay. >> It's cuz you're too afraid of being gay. >> Wait, so you never you never ran it back? >> You got to do what's right. >> Aw, dude. We got a Game Boy. >> Tell Hannah you didn't run it back and

13:30 she'll >> I know I didn't like it. That's why. >> Fans, it would be weird if he ran it back because that means that you're watching it again. >> No, no, no, you watch something else. >> Watch something else. Rinse it out. >> Rinse the palate. >> Start a new game. >> OH, I THOUGHT YOU MEANT RUN IT BACK LIKE REPLAY. >> WATCH THE same video. Watch the same video. See if you can come again. >> Only like the boggles out of bounds. >> Hey, look, I messed up. That was my bad. >> No, you got to run it back. You got to do it the same exact way. >> I didn't know you can step over the line when you bowl. >> No, I did a wipe of shame. And I told myself I'll never tell anybody that and I couldn't hold myself back cuz I can't lie. >> Well, call Hannah right now. Tell her you're gay. So, do the right thing. >> At least 1% though. >> Yeah. >> There's another one I saw that was kind >> [laughter] >> What? Part two coming up. >> Or we got [snorts] to pay Ken. Hurry. >> I I watched I watched a a transgender woman uh and see if

14:20 Where are you going? >> I'm going over here. Give me space. >> I I watched a transgender woman and um I I I was enjoying myself until uh I keep on looking at the dick. But then I was hard for a little bit though. >> Was she with anyone? >> Yeah. >> A guy or girl? >> A a guy. Wait, no. A girl. >> Happy Pride Month, my brother. >> Yeah, yeah. Welcome to the club. >> That's okay cuz it's still kind of straight. >> Yeah, kind of straight, yeah. >> Not much straight about >> What's the straight part? >> Can somebody tell me the straight part? >> No, no, hold on. Can I tell you something? Th- She was She was really hot though. >> That's what I'm saying. >> She was really hot. >> It was really hard, too. ████ >> No, no, it wasn't hard. It was It was soft. >> If that's not a deal breaker, that's fine. Yeah, that's cool. >> Would you? >> I'm down with that. >> do it.

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