0:00 [Music] all right and 23 and me apparently it's falling apart y'all no that's after the hack I used that I gave my DNA now they own me they already have all my DNA I gave them my DNA for them to tell me I'm Chinese this I should have listen to Steve I know are you up by the way is your Chinese going higher it is changing like month to month so this this time around the latest update I'm 50% Taiwanese 50% Chinese really they separate Taiwanese one time Chinese how do they even differentiate what mine tells me is that uh I'm a back sleeper oh they sh pretty cool this one says I'm more of a morning person so that's pretty cool you are right you
0:51 wake up is that is that the 23 app right now yeah can I see yours or is that you have the app I got the app boy can you pass it me after yeah n you can't change things don't change don't give it a ryot it's weird seeing your name written out like Nicholas can you go to his camera roll fast hey you me like making out with Tiff first and then spitting it out and then seeing if you're part tiffs was her was like all over the map bro 1% melanesian yeah you know what that's from is like uh tahitians and ████ like like from Moana that's what you are it's like 0.1% that's why when I saw that movie I was like it resonates with me I can feel it I can feel it can you accept my air drop hey you're a Hawaii local yeah that's what I'm saying Nicholas Don ████ Guang Don Chinese Shanghai you ain't got no Taiwanese in
1:41 here it says it Southern Chinese and Taiwanese that's okay okay it's a weird distinction but when I first got it it was just 99% Chinese and I think as more Chinese people give them their DNA it just updated a little bit M it says Chinese Chinese you're a little bit Chinese 1% melanesian for for you you're like it just bummed me out yeah it bummed me out and I was like it was kind of like a fun thing where me and Tiff were like oh it's on sale let's buy one like it be so cool it was during pandemic so we were like bored and ████ biggest mistake of our life it won't even let me log in but tiffs tiffs was so excited about hers cuz her she had all well a lot of Spanish people like like uh Latinos they got all kinds of stuff dude she was like indigenous she has like North African all kinds of stuff and I just get what are you doing dude it's crazy I give my phone that's a lot of no these
2:32 stats are just off the wall they have a stat where it's like oh are you uh oh dude what are you doing man no I'm just looking at your stats hey man what are you doing over there hey it's invasion of privacy does it say he's like 30% likely to be gay oh my thanks man let me see what does it say dude they put porno on my face oh my God don't say they he pulled it up from your files and he keeps watching it he's keep he keeps watching I was on United bro I was my United I need to know what happens next on your phone already dude hey why were all the links blue I like their content and then Nick's Nick's screenshotting it right now like this she like I'm going to save it for later oh man don't put that on my phone man so the company's tanking right now they're going through a restructuring plan they got hacked like a ████ they that was that was a
3:22 previous huge problem it was eony porn by the way thank you my favorite category they're really the booty shaking video oh my God let's change it let's change people don't care about hacks anymore yeah is it not a thing is it a thing about well they don't care in so far as like it's like hey all of your data was just leaked and hacked and everyone in America was just like yeah we're like whatever cool so what are they going to use it for they just know that I'm Japanese dude if Bank of America's getting my ████ ████ leaked then I expect 23 of me get America yeah yeah dude like what PlayStation gets ████ leaked every two weeks bro you know how many ████ calls like me and Tiff have gotten the past like past like 3 months of just like like hey your security like Tiff got her identity stolen bro no way yeah what they try to do with it I think it was through her her insurance whoa what cuz they got a letter about yeah they got a letter
4:12 through their insurance that like oh you know you're are we had a data breach blah blah blah blah and then she got her ████ ████ hacked this a good time no one else in here has 23 and me I do I do no why do I need to be here to to read that I'm a white guy stupid what kind of white stupid kind of makeup you know I am Cur I think that would be more worth it for you to do it than for me to do like 1% German 99% Nazi or something right German denial dude yeah I doubt it you're not just a little curious no come on man Irish related toit that would be kind of sick that'd be kind of fire you you should be able to get a refund if you're too Chinese yeah over 99% you're 99.9% cuz bro my mom would tell me my mom would tell me that like oh yeah like your grandmother was born in uh Indonesia blah blah blah like you know P
5:04 me this ████ big old picture so I was like okay I want to see they're all just Chinese that grew up in Southeast Asia exactly exactly full Chinese people exactly that's how it is D I'm full Chinese but then my parents were just born in Vietnam see but see exactly so there's just ████ other Chinese people in Vietnam but it happens to be in a different location blow me it's like Street Fighter in different stages I'm angry about it I was I was really blow me when I first did 23 me I thought I was fully Japanese but the 23 me showed that I was 1% Korean and then they took it from me 6 months later now you're no ker down dude I was 99% apologize I didn't apologize I was going to be like yes now I'm a mix race person and then maybe you're back to being Korean again oh I got to check but it hasn't changed man they just made me even more Japanese do
5:54 you remember what yours was so the part that I was curious about was um I didn't know I was part Peruvian until my sophomore year in high school how much what the uh so like my we were doing like this um I can see it we're do totally guy we're doing this immigration like story thing uh for my like Chinese class and then so you have to interview your parents like how they came here or whatever so I remember like interviewing my dad and he was like oh yeah like um yeah my your great grandpa used to go to Peru all the time and then that's where he married his wife and then so uh Grandpa was born in Peru before he came back to I was like wait what hold the phone what the ████ are you talking about and then I was like married like a Chinese lady in Peru he goes no like a Peruvian like a Spanish lady and then so that was kind of like what the ████ that's crazy was it like an indigenous
6:44 Peruvian or like a Spanish Colonial Peruvian why you finding out for the first time that you're Peruvian huh that's wild when I was 10 I mean uh no I'm saying I'm finding out for the first time he's not Peruvian though look at this ████ bud you like Lomo Sal right I love L there is and then so um so when 23 and me came out when 23 and me came out um that's what I was like the most curious of to see like how the story matches up and it's it matches up it says like 10% um 10% Like Native American indigenous or whatever and then like 1 to 2% Spanish dang hey your your your grand great-grandfather's generation is probably what created Lomo saltato dude because the soy sauce and the french fries I would pay $100 to watch you walk into a Texas Roadhouse Bar and say what's up everybody I'm part
7:35 Peruvian whatever CH WR they just drag him along the bar like this movies right along the bar like get that chman out of here I don't want TR I don't want tro God damn it that's an oriental I don't want tro Peru chinan had a Peruvia sandwiches more think he's Peruvian now drinking some ink a cola all of a sudden do you feel your Native American Heritage China I don't feel it cuz I wasn't raised that way I feel like you're probably raised you probably feel more how you're raised but it was just cool to like oh that's a crazy story and I've seen pictures that is really cool though that a wild yeah what do you think in those like data hacks for DNA is like a worst case scenario when they can start making clones of people or no
8:25 bio engineering Weaponry against certain ████ races and ████ that too oh ████ yeah make Co Asian Co and only kill as bro that's really scary I wish I didn't CO's American but the the the research center was in China I wish you could design a CO that kills people who wear Patagonia ████ oh yeah easy cleansing it'll be Wall Street guys W streeters who who who do you vest guys you don't like the the puffy vest those is there's Patagonia y oh North Face North Face the vest you can pull it off though those guys white guys holding the Starbucks with a ████ vest and a polo shirt yeah they're Wall Street guys Tech guys or actual hikers yeah I can't wear a vest I've never been body cold and arms hot body
9:20 arms it's supposed to go with a coat in it's like a hoodie kind of nice though like if you're in cold weather and you like cold arms like imagine this but it's supposed to be under though would you wear a beanie would you guys wear a beanie where the ears are cut out exactly that's what a vest is dude imagine a beanie it pulls it over and warms your whole head some people wear beanies above their ears and then your ears are out that's yeah see punchable hey honestly you look weird dude honestly you look you look like you're about to develop an app dude ver AI crypto or something exactly exactly you look kind of smart I'm kind of going to keep it I think I like try to rip it try to rip it like this it's very me damn this thing like 10 years old oh if you're if you're medium cold though
10:11 like a medium cold I don't get it though cuz B's right my arms are cold right now yeah the only time it's acceptable is if you're Marty McFly and you have it over your denim jacket yeah see that's one it's co if you were a vest with a t-shirt we got to beat you up a little bit dude a little bit we got to beat you I have this because it's a under layer for my yeah that makes sense at least it's not like the early 2000s when people weree dress vests over their t-shirts that's weird remember that I remember that that's ultimate suck ability dude remember that did end the dance scene a little bit yeah that's an upgrade man that and a fedora would be top level ████ you man exactly hat trick with it no and then out when we're done shooting just
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