0:00 I wish I knew this in high school I got so much I would have all these articles oh Bart save the world again [Music] all right so we've done articles like this before but we never actually sat with somebody in the room who actually has an only fans account this is another case we have so many questions school that suspends a boy after finding his mom's only fan oh that's nice they suspended the boy that makes no sense that's ████ up fun fact most girls buy those articles and make up fake ████ so they can get subscribers so chances are oh I never thought of that Insider unless it's fact checked it probably didn't happen never thought of that genius marketing holy ████
0:51 so it's like now I got to search up who this hot mom is yeah especially it's hot like that photo was hot I just looked at it like she she bought that she bought that article right because it's usually never a show the photos or say the username I need to see the photo though for real we have a code of conduct she can choose and put that on the article yeah dope ass angle yeah basically you can pay like Publications like a lot of journalists just let you pay them to like create articles but a lot of these people or girls are like all right what's something newsworthy like I got fired for being a teacher although some of them actually did get fired for being a teacher but like if you're buying articles but they're putting out the story themselves pretty much I wish I knew this in high school I got so much ████ I would have all these articles oh but save the world again yeah
1:42 Asian man with biggest penis part the master of cunnilingus he cleaned up all the chlorine in Ohio [Laughter] Gabriel man loses virginity again holy ████ that's tight hey Bart what's up man that's crazy how fast you were able to call that up yeah what do you feel like the percentage of like these types of articles that go out are ads versus like actual stories then if it's actually
2:32 the hot pick made sense though because usually your pick sucks for these things it's like a mug shot yeah or something yeah but uh what gives it away is most like newsworthy like all right I'm trying to think about the word but most like uh journalists don't write on only fans because it ████ with their credibility like the chief editors like why are you writing those articles if you're like an esteemed respected journalist yeah you're not writing about only fans unless it's something like journalists would love to expose like the dark side of only fans or something like that but most articles aren't going to be like wow a school suspends boy after finding his mom this girl did a good job to me because I was like they suspended the boy yeah it's the new angle dude they she got me on but it also sounds realistic like it could happen does it like a boy getting suspended unless it's like a Christian
3:23 cat like a Christian school or something that's what I was thinking like which we just had a whole conversation with you about stuff similar he's the one showing everybody then yeah he's like look at how hot my is guys they should expel that I know as a young boy Christian Schools kick you out for any reason we're having bangs really yeah oh when you had these ones yep oh yeah maybe his mom was like yo go promote my ████ dude yeah they think I'm hot right man well then she'd probably go to jail to be fair yeah oh yeah I was behind under G-Wagon payments have you purchased an ad or anything like that of any peculiar nature um I I'm bought like world star posts I've bought um like big Instagram porn stars I've
4:13 like bought ads from them I try to get like a few articles like this but I at the time did not think about how to Market it so they were ████ s█████ articles what's a good headline what's what's your headline yeah Dad son's only fans girl her own nudes really good that girl makes horse come from riding the back yeah give me an equestrian and then you send the video of the horse falling girl you're riding from the top but the horse came somehow or you're eliminated it's right next to Bart save the world again magazine dude myself from like bestiality oh yeah
5:04 my niece it's two Japanese that's really good though your angle about uh uh dad sends that could be a really good ████ article though here's the only thing thing is my dad already thinks I've embarrassed him enough and I have and it's like I don't want to just seem like I'm exploiting all of my family's problems although I do talk about it a lot but it's like you know he's been on Forbes like he is successful at what he does and like I've already I'm already embarrassed him he's only offense cup Manhattan Beach I feel like everyone their successful right yeah they're all rich unless they live in apartments what does your dad do owns like a Chick-fil-A or something he's on board for a franchise team one year a lot of money Christian chicken sandwich shop that's true do they rake it in each one of them make like two Finance stuff he's a finance bro yeah
5:54 he's a West Coast Wall Street guy so he's gotta at least be proud of like your ability to make yeah dude that's still your thing though he probably don't know your numbers huh um I don't know well I wonder if those numbers would phase him if he's a Wall Street yeah he might be like cute he'd just be like oh okay no honestly I I'm like 25 and gonna make almost as much as him I think by the end of the year or next year buy out his feelings buy a Forbes magazine article that's ████ dope that's gangster that talks about that's the article right there yeah that's what I'm saying that's a Forbes article there's a difference between doing like a random like you know only fans daughter buys father's hedge fund and fires why is controlling interest in
6:44 mother's company my ████ it was opposite almost any job I found I would have made more than my dad like hey I work at Fry's you got the outfit so you think you're a big shot now [Laughter] you know how much she made every year my dad yeah yeah like his so he was a car dealer at Commerce Casino and the way they have it split up kind of sucks where I saw his like pay stubs it's literally just minimum wage so they make most of their money off of tips like a waiter but tips is actually quite a bit yeah because this is also a minimum wage was like six dollars huh exactly dude yeah dude that's what my dad was like he was like no I can't buy that ████ but I'm ████ Paul I look at it I'm like
7:35 ████ you hard for dude because my mom was a liar my mom works at like a Forbes or a Fortune 500 company and she's not up there but she has like one of those like like pretty steady union jobs where she probably made like I don't know like 80 to like 100 a year yeah yeah and then so my mom what did she say in your dad well they no they split oh they got divorced when I was young but then I thought that would get a bigger laugh no you know you're right so they got divorced and my mom would bust the same ████ all the time but then I would see her checkbook I'm like what do you mean he got hella money in there you ████ liar just accusing the ████ out of them oh I can't buy it doesn't have any money what the ████ literally says like ████ 50 000 or something I'm just trying to get a 50 walk man what do you mean
8:26 you got 50 Keys just chilling damn dude that's why they don't tell you but every time I ask my parents what they made when I was a kid they didn't want to tell me my mom told me straight up what'd she say she's like I'm raising you on ████ 20 grand oh ████ and then my brother because I she's like I can't pay for your college I already paid for your brothers I don't have any more money so I went to get financial aid and ████ and then they told me that his dumbass could have gone to the financial aid office and my mom didn't have to pay he could have got a free ████ Grant or whatever if your parents split you you're like at a different category yeah and I was like you ████ she didn't have to pay for your college but the perhaps the phone to form so confusing dude I remember when I filled out my fast form for the first time for college you know how it says like how much your parents have to pay yeah at the bottom
9:17 and said my parents had to pay for 700 right and I thought that was a win I was like oh my God we don't have pain uh your middle class yeah we got paid by the government that no but that's literally like uh just how much they have to afford because everything else was loans and I wasn't I wasn't sure it's not like I was getting a scholarship you're gonna pay it later but in my mind I was just like oh they don't have to pay that much like cool like I did a good job yeah but it was like I qualified for a hella debt is off but what's what was the car what was the total cost of UCI at the time that you went to apologies oh you're smart yeah he's a little brainy that was maybe like at the time I was anywhere from like 15 to 21 000 or something like that eight years yeah oh but you would always get some sort of Grant like I would you would it was easy to Pell Grant or yeah it was easy for
10:09 1500 like 3 000 in Grants at least and then the everything else was a full-on loan and it's paid it's all paid off now now it is yeah [Music]
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