0:00 You know what I would be down with though? A skyscraper full of pedos. And then I'm allowed to demolition that ████ We're getting the worst of the worst. The dark web. Like all those guys. They're going to go in once they fill up the building. THEN >> DERE, do you have a China man you want to chop in half? You want to split him like a log? Welcome to Chick Choppers. >> Put on Patreon. >> Welcome back to another episode of Ching Choppers. >> Damn, dude. Got an annoying Chinese neighbor. Ching Chopper. You want to split them into left and right pieces? >> My goodness. Okay, this is a great question that came in from a deep fan um
0:50 named Ryan. >> Hey, shout out to >> We like our fans deep. >> Please join our Patreon where you can ask questions on our Discord and be a deep fan. That's Wait, what the >> Some of these are my favorite videos, by the way, is when fans ask questions. >> Yeah, this fan's name is uh uh Ryan Eay. >> Oh, it's me. Damn. >> He says, "Uh, if God let you do one sin before you die, but you still get to go to heaven, what would it be?" >> Yeah, you get one. >> There's so many options. >> What are the sins? Death. Killing somebody's >> Oh, damn. He went straight to that one. Yeah, killing somebody is probably >> the Ten Commandments is pretty like >> Now, now I'm thinking about murder. Hold on. >> Yeah, I'm thinking about murder, too. >> Is that bad? Is that bad? >> If I had to murder somebody and say it live on the air. Jeez, it's like death note. >> What are all the Christian sins? >> What are the top sins? >> Do you got enough data for this?
1:43 >> Don't burn those tokens, dude. >> Number one, Joe talking like this on his phone. The seven deadly sins is pride, greed, lust, envy. >> Do this. >> What would you like to do as Joe Jitsukawa, the sinner? >> Prideful. >> No other gods. That's the number one, dude. >> So, you want to pray to Baal before you die? >> Yeah. I'm going to ████ pray to Vishnoose. No, I'm just kidding. No idol. Can't use God's name in vain. Keep the Sabbath holy. That's what we've been doing. Those are the ones we already been doing. Honor parents. Dude, I'm already violating five of these. There's literally only one of those that would be really bad for you. Here's the fun stuff. Do not murder. I'm taking Herano's idea. Gay sex. >> Yeah. >> Wait, anything but that.
2:33 >> Wait, hold on. Lock in. Is gay sex a sin? Don't look at that no more. >> If you're married, >> does this count as double news? Wait, >> does Joe have to show his penis now? Cuz >> if you're married? Yeah, cuz it's adultery. >> Oh, what? So, if you're Well, no. Now, now you're putting it in context to my adultery to my wife. I don't want to do it now. >> Here's a fun one, though. I'd rather kill somebody. >> I'm not doing gay sex anymore, guys. I'd rather kill somebody for sure. >> Don't commit adultery. Probably want to do that. Do not commit murder. I'd do that. And do not steal. Been doing that. Do not lie. Been doing that. What's covet? Do not covet. It means you're like jealous of someone's stuff. Envy. That's the That's the envy. >> It sounds like I'm sinning all the time, bro. >> Not Not the commandments. We're just talking about regular sins.
3:23 >> Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. >> Come on, man. Make it fun, bro. It's a talk show. >> I don't even know what all the sins are. So, I want to know my range. Almost everything is a sin. That's illegal. >> Working on a Sunday sin. >> Okay. You know all the things that you want to do and then Hannah or a smarter person inside your head goes, "Don't do that one." Okay, delete them. And then just start with your fresh ideas. Just like >> just reset. Ju just take a deep breath in. Exhale. And then just think your first thought. It's probably gonna be a sin. I want to blow up a building. Oh, there you go. There you go. There you go. That's that's See, that's where you need to be. >> Yeah, that's right. >> No, that's that's the instinct we needed. And it's not in the Ten Commandments. So, you know, >> dude, that was worth the three minutes of getting Joe there, too. >> Yeah, dude. You think we should make
4:13 some amendments to the ten commandments? That'll be the next one. If we can make a couple amendments or add some, you know, it's like 11th commandment. >> Thou shalt not blow up a building. >> Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. That's good. Okay. >> I want to blow up a government building. >> Yeah. If God's like, >> no one in it. Come on. >> Go ahead. Go ahead and have one for yourself. Yeah. >> Off hours. Parliament. Off hours. >> Parliament. Take it out. >> Right. >> I want to blow up the Washington monument. >> And you want it to look like a controlled demolition, too, huh? Oh, so you want Oh, you wanted to fool America. >> You wanted to do your own 9/11, dude. >> All right. Like, you know what I super jealous of? You know how like presidents have that suitcase with the red button? They can press that button and blow ████ up. >> Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. The one that's handcuffed to the other dude who's like usually an extra and has no lines. >> Yeah. Like I don't want to kill people, but I just think it's so cool to be that guy that could be like on the ████ Enola Gay and then hit that button and
5:04 then the atom bomb just flew cuz that that's you're that guy. You're the guy that hit the button. >> Wait, when they hit the button, they don't have to choose nothing else, no other settings. The guy who hits the button is Isn't he the president or you saying just gives the command? >> Do you want to give the command or you want to just press a button? >> So So is press a button synonymous as like the look at the guy next to you with the key around his neck and goes three, two, one. >> I bet it doesn't work. >> I bet it doesn't work cuz the the the guy on the plane has to probably press the button to drop it. >> Yeah. He's like, "Oh s███." >> Oh, you pressed it. >> Y'all pressed it. I don't want to be so far where I can't see it. Like I wanna I want to be able to see the explosion. You want to be up close. >> So So it's definitely not some drone ████ because you got to be close enough. >> I got to be close. But I mean we have footage of the ████ Adam bomb. >> So you want to be on Runan Canyon when they blow up Santa Monica like that.
5:55 Yeah, that'll be cool. And then you could just You don't need binoculars. You could just watch it up and you're just like whoa. >> That's cool. Okay, so which what would you blow up? Everything, dude. But like I don't want people there. So like I probably Oh, you don't want to blow people up? Nah, I don't want to kill people. But if not regular murder then? Yeah, cuz he only wants to blow up a building. He doesn't want to murder. I'm not the IDF, dude. I'm not going to do that ████ >> He wants to do demolition. I know it doesn't work like this, but they definitely incepted. And I remember this feeling as a kid and always wanting to do this. It was the end of Fight Club. Spoiler alert. Blowing up all like the banks and credit buildings and stuff like that to to reset everybody back to zero. That would be so tight. You know what I would be down with though? If we have a skyscraper full of pedals and then I'm allowed to demolition that ████ >> A skyscraper full of pedals. How? Wait
6:47 per Okay, if you're going to do that, you got to figure out how did you attract all the pedals to one skyscraper, >> dude? It's so easy. It's so easy. >> You can get so many. >> Free kids. >> Well, how do you get them out when they get there? >> Huh? >> The bait. The live bait. How do you get the kids out? >> Oh, they'll show up. Oh, there's no actual kids there. >> Oh, yeah. Yeah. You just you just show a video. You got arrows, signs that say in here. >> Yeah. >> Kids in here. >> You know that scene in casino where like they're like looking at the security footage. They're like, "Oh, no." But they really taped it elsewhere. So, I'mma have a party with kids and be like, "We are at the penthouse at the top of the ████ US bank building. Let's go. Hey, if you guys like kids, come on down." And then like cuz you got to you got to you got to get to the top of the building. So all the guys just going to come in, right? They're going
7:37 to come in, come in, come in. But then it's like a rat trap where like if you go in one way, you can't get out the other way. >> So how do you get out? No. No. I'm film I'm filming from Oh, you're not even there. No. Yeah. Oh, >> they got the sticky stuff at the bottom. So when they go in, they're all stuck. >> It's just a bunch of sticky ████ on the floor. So, we're just filming from a different building. Where's that guy that was partying with all those kids? >> Oh, no. >> I smell it. I I hear the party upstairs. >> Yeah. But then the elevator's broken, right? So, then they have to take the stairs. So, they'll take a little longer >> on the stairs. The sticky stuff. >> And then every step of the way, it's going to be like, "The kids are almost there. Oh, the kids are getting naked." And then, so they have to keep running. >> Younger. They're getting younger. a little Joe hologram.
8:27 >> They're running up the steps. They're like, "Oh, I'm going to have some kids after this." Cuz at the end, they'll be like so thirsty, you know? They're like, "I can't wait to have some kids." And then they'll just keep running up. So, we fill up the whole building and then all everywhere from all over the world, we're going to have every ████ pedal worldwide come in. They're just going to cuz they get free flights. We're providing free free air service. Anybody wants to go to this party? >> Is it also going to have those hot teachers that had sex with their student? >> No. No. No. That's That's a No, no, no, no, no. >> All the dudes for sure. The all dude teachers. >> They're in building seven. >> We're getting the worst of the worst. The dark web, like all those guys. So then they're going to go in and um once they fill up the building, then three, two, one, BEEP.
9:21 >> Celebrate good times. Come on. And then the New York Times Square ball drops down and then more fireworks. You know what I mean? >> And then that one explodes too. And inside that was all the dude teachers that was like working with those >> the minor minor persons attract minor attracted person. That's what we call it. That's what we call it. >> Yeah. The bash. The bash of the century. >> Do you want to see a bunch of minor attracted persons? >> All disco outfits, roller skates. It's going to be so sick. I feel like if you did that, you would go to right when you get to heaven, you would just be greeted with a high five. >> Yeah. >> He's like, "You know what? You could do some crack before you die." That's what God will tell you. That's your That's That's what you could do. >> So, what do you guys want to sit on? >> Just probably do like a genocide or something. >> For pedal. >> No, just anybody. >> Oh, no. Come on. No. That's not good.
10:12 >> Whichever there's the most of. >> It seems like it's the it thing to do. Well, if you're going to murder, you might as well do a lot, huh? You're an overachiever. That's too much. >> Me? >> Ham. >> Oh. Yo, genocide. >> I'm trying to get support to look at you and say, "No, don't do that, Ryan." >> Oh, like don't do genocide. >> Yeah, Ryan, don't do genocide. >> You said pick a sin. >> We won't even pick a good thing. >> Yeah, he's got us there. >> Well, you could kind of do that now. You don't got to wait. My ideas takes a long time. You don't got to wait. >> What do you mean? >> Well, you do. If you want to do it now, you can kind of do it now. There's people doing it now. Joe, it's a hypothetical. Joe, >> how would you do it now? How like what would what would the steps be? Join the IDF. Is that what you were going to say? >> That's one of you join a cause, but I
11:02 don't want to I don't want to deny I'm doing it like a ████ >> Oh, no. They're saying it. They're admitting it on Omegle for some reason >> with with Palest influenc confessing to war crimes constantly. >> They're gloating, dude. >> What the ████ You ever see them? >> They're like, "So, you kill babies?" He's like, "Yeah, I kill babies. I kill babies. I kill a lot of babies." >> Yeah. And he just goes off. >> They like use it to roast other people. >> Yeah. >> That's gangster. >> And they're just incriminating themselves. >> Yeah. It's crazy. But, you know, >> okay, >> maybe that's a pivot for us. >> Let's get down to the nitty gray. What kind would you do? Like the the the African kind, the Asian kind. They're all different. >> No, not not like the hoou tootsie one. No. Hey, >> like general butt naked. Like that kind of style. You know, General Butt Naked. >> This a real person? >> No, it's it's I'm not even joking. So,
11:53 there's a guy named General Butt Naked, and he was notorious for his whole like group. They would get ████ drugged out, right? And then they would like channel the demons and the spirits and they would literally get butt ass naked and start going into war and then they would they would just like shooting people up and then they were cannibal like they would eat their victims and ████ >> Yeah. No, I don't think I want I just want to do one sin that to me that's like that's like African style. >> You want to try cannibalism? You don't want to you don't want to you want to take a test ride on cannibalism? >> I think every culture does genocide a little differently. That's African style. It's real though. General butt naked. >> I just want to be part of like a really cool heist. >> Aist? Yeah. I want to steal something
12:43 but like it's like a really cool plan. >> All right. All right. What do you bring to the table when you steal? What do you What you >> You don't want to spend your saying doing anything sexual. Anthony Horny Lee, that's an off camera conversation. >> You don't want to do like a all >> man or >> all genders orgy. >> All Denver Broncos and Anthony Lee. >> All offensive linemen orgies. >> I want the biggest boys you got. >> He wants the Cowboys to run a train on them. >> Yeah, dude. I want the whole cast of uh the land man and orgy. >> Land man. >> Is that what you sponsored by Paramount Plus? >> Damn, dude. Include the horses. >> They want his oil to ████ burst. >> Or you could do an orgy with a bunch of jockeyies. They're a little bunch of >> Oh, yeah. Jockey. Yeah. >> Yeah. You could dominate those guys. Ride me.
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