0:00 [Music] here we talk about the news so we can't avoid this topic we have to talk about monkey pox dude it's everywhere i had a ████ nightmare last night i had monkeys and ████ it was all over my skin and i was popping it like a ████ pimple and it was a little scary huh oh god damn dude there's no death still right now oh it looks disgusting it looks like those ads that you see where like you see a patch of skin and you see like a bunch of pores and you see a bunch of black things in it or like and they're like what the ████ is that and then you click on it and then it's like whoa this could really happen to you when you click on it and like this is a ████ scam ad god damn it oh my monkey box is a scam ad no but it looks like that that's how intense it looks yeah it looks nuts yeah it looks like a fake disease it looks
0:51 like a fake disease if you're trying to tell you somebody photoshopped the lotus ████ inside with the seeds and ████ on somebody exactly oh like a tripophobia stuff yeah yeah trapophobia vibes all the way but how many cases is in cali now eight how many cisco is on uh emergency california is wait did you say cali mm-hmm that is so weird what i i don't know like californians don't say calories no we only say the ████ golden state that's really hawaiian to say california like is he not from from california he just said i hear cali all right so far oh that's just so weird i hear a lot of east coasters say i'm going to cali yeah i hear that i hear people from not in california usa cali where are you from from california where are you from in california in los angeles everyone says it's not even real coffee
1:41 everyone is in l.a why didn't you say los angeles i don't know i got nervous i was like who says you're not really julia are you i know that let me guess you used to work at just kidding yes just kidding yeah something's weird here just because these guys are from nev they know what's up you know we don't say nevadian right it's like nevadian or something oh you're supposed to say it like with a a it's wrong what i'm a less vegan yeah i said i'm a vegan that's what i said philosophy you're las vegas yeah that's good that's good so out of the entire united states so far total confirmed monkey pox cases are six thousand six hundred and seventeen in the u.s in the us oh thank god california is 826 holy ████ out of all of the united states uh new york
2:33 has 1600 and california is the second highest with 800. you know you know what i've been reading uh and this is no jokes right it's been in every single publication they always add that it's highly contagious with men who have sex with men what i haven't heard that really i don't know how true that is though i just feel like that's just propaganda against them nah bro gay dudes be ████ all the time i mean yeah sure they'll be ████ all the time but i don't think they're the reason for monkey problems it's high in the it's it's higher in probability with men that have sex with men they bust it down dog yeah we hung out with some gay dudes in palm springs ████ the whole time and they were telling us about it like i ████ that
3:23 dude just now and we were like kicking with them at the pool and they were just telling us that's the most fun i was thinking right the most dude have you guys seen the guy he was like he was recording and this he has monkey pox on his face oh what the ████ so he was like yeah it's this is real like i'm a real life whatever person and then he goes i got it from every boyfriend and then he goes my boyfriend got it from his other partner oh yeah there's another guy in the video taking care of them and i guess they all have monkey balls but he recovered so which is why he can be in the video to record them so like that was the first time he's seen monkey boxing video that's crazy a bunch of my clients that work in like hospitals they're all telling me how they see it they they've they have patients that they have been working with that have monkey pods when they come in do they gotta wear like suits or are they scared yeah oh i know they have to swab it we just got over one pandemic
4:13 why the ████ you know and then this was this one's lockdown worthy i think it was scarier this one's scarier than ████ kobe even though it has a no like fatality right it's so scary right i know it looks scary it's cosmetically bad alls i know is that so with covet right it originated from the wet markets in china these poor people in china eating bats and pieces of ████ giving us all covered and now i know for a fact that gay people are giving us monkey pox i know it for a fact by the way do i think any of this came from labs no came from government labs no way no scenario is there any pictures of uh i would
5:04 never blame these communities someone with monkey pox from like like a new photo from here in this stage i saw asian dude that they just posted on um because i keep seeing the old stuff for they've been using forever that same picture no no there's there's people like in the states with it let's see that's the video that i saw yeah i want to see what it looks like now look at this uh i think they just got the first case in um pasadena yeah pasadena dude i think i sent that to you but no it's everywhere doug i feel like everyone in california i i had like four different clients this is monkey pots on the face a little bit oh whoa that is crazy there's a little bit of jam and they say it's like painful and you get fevers it looks like the guy just ate chocolate cake it's uh they say it's it comes it happens uh skin skin to skin contact
5:54 yeah extend it extend it extend it so ████ hence the sex yeah right yeah so that's really the correlative when they some who is it that said that about the gay guys being the i saw it on real news no ████ oh yeah i saw it on ████ msn scene beat cmbc that's right i saw it on ████ like um ad supported so the reason for that is because gay guys tend to just be more physically no well all i'm reading is like they'll tell you the like it's been like it's it's happening here whatever whatever and then how it's contacted right like touching ████ whatever kissing and it says it's right now there's uh there's a lot of uh high cases with men ha that have sex with men that's the pattern all i know is that every time anything happens they
6:45 use the same playbook they blame poor people and gays and well yeah no really it's aids they're blaming all the ████ gay same ████ it's incredible it's like actually wild how much they use the same ████ playbook and then oh eventually we find out oh wait sorry there was a lab in china called the lab coronavirus lab and they're researching this yeah yeah maybe it leaked from there sorry and somehow fauci has invested into it but they blame the poor people in wet markets first of course i called that ████ out at the time i'm like yeah i'm sure it was a bunch of poor people just like to eat bats and pangolins anymore just like let's live just like with fannie mae freddie mac right who'd they blame the poor people they got these irresponsible lows all these ████ stupid poor people i ████ hate all these poor people getting those loans and guess what and what happened with coven they they inflate the money
7:35 supply big time right they blame you for getting a ████ check for 1300 out of a year of not working and they blame you for the for the inflation problem it's not their fault it's not who they gave the money to since you guys ████ did this whole inflation ████ i'm gonna give you more money to cover your dumb asses give your dumb ████ stupid asses 250 for gas print more money and cause more inflation to save your asses so the white house is now scrambling to play catch up on the monkey pox response obviously administration officials have acknowledged they need to ramp up their efforts as the number of cases has grown faster than initially expected did we not learn anything from covet dude who will they scapegoat next i'm excited about it they already did it it would be interesting it is an action but who's next where did it come from i don't know man i think we're gonna go into another lockdown i ████ hope not
8:26 dude i hope it's dolly i don't think they could do it like the people will revolt i don't think it's even a revolt thing i just think yeah i think it's i don't think they can afford it yeah i think i think it's that cuz what happens next because they're gonna inflate the money supply more yeah dude we're ████ if that happens we're already in a bad spot anyway we're not enough we're not in a recession though no it's not a recession oh no way and inflation's actually good for you already here's the funny thing they've never done this before it's really good for your five new approach the administration is working to drastically increase the number of people vaccinated against monkeybox and improve access to an experimental treatment for those infected right in addition to naming a monkeypox coordinator to manage the response from the white house across agencies and with state and local governments so did monkey cox was the name because someone ████ a monkey and ████ and then like now they got the monkey pox
9:16 and now it's like or did a monkey just sneeze on a human being because i hope it's it's that no it's like supposed to be like some sort of like i don't know if it's like a virus or just like an illness that's like from one breed to another breed so like the jump like swine flu i actually read that that's not true i read that there's a guy who's like they're like how'd you get what happened last night he's like i think i ████ the bunker i was really drunk man oh you're so bugged out of the club you wake up and then you look at who you're next to oh ████ like you know when you're like in a bar and you like look at a cage and you see somebody and you think it's a golden answer but it was actually a monkey the next day it was yourself it was a zoo and it's a chimpanzee with a lipstick next to you and it was a corporate event and you realize that your company leased out part of a zoo it was universal studios animal actors
10:07 yeah that's great that's what happened it was so hot though i said in total the us has reported almost 6 000 cases since the beginning of may the total worldwide exceeds 20 000. and even says here with the virus currently spreading almost entirely among men who have sex with men almost entirely look see again this is nbc news stuff to you by the way why don't they just tell us like why the administration strategy has largely largely been focused on vaccinating the most high-risk individuals who include men who have had multiple male partners in a two-week period that's the only one that doesn't get the vaccine exposure they said the same ████ when ████ aids and hiv was going down they're blaming the gay community but before that johnson but before that yeah and then they were also but they were also saying they as in the ████ media and all these weird people were saying that humans ████ the
10:59 monkey and then that's how it's happened oh yeah that's that's how they said aids happened now we have monkey box it's good it's good it's wild so that's what they're that's that's the silent text behind saying that men who have sex with men get it more is that they're pretty forward with that they even say um more recently administration officials have urged other men who have uh who have sex with men to cut down on high-risk behavior like having multiple partners until the outbreak is under control they're attempting to get the word uh that word out to gay transgender and bisexual communities through dating apps at events and engagement with communities so it's so can be super contagious then right uh the federal government has said it plans to ship more than 700 000 vaccine doses to states on top of the 300 000 already allocated but officials haven't detailed plans for any additional doses
11:50 once the data showed that this outbreak was different than past ones and transmitting rapidly we scaled up our comprehensive response rapidly accelerating timelines to make over one million doses of vaccines available this is scary man i don't want any more ████ do you think he's gonna be the first to get it here getting multiple partners on the count of three point at somebody okay one two three [Laughter] i didn't point anybody anthony you didn't you don't have a vote i'm a host i think you'll get a good my wife was telling me the same thing she was like hey you better be careful when you teach that's what i was thinking because taika does jiu jitsu so i was like oh there's probably gonna be kids and ████ i don't know because it's extended contact you i wonder if it's like if it's like chicken pox and
12:40 it's just gonna be a part of you just need it you just need to need it you just get it get out of your system fatalities and it could be a lot like chicken pox i heard it's really painful though that's what i heard i mean chicken pox is like getting shingles then because shingles are really painful shingles are terrible bro i'm just excited to see what comes next and who they blame next i'm excited to see that too what underserved community will be hit next yeah yo what if it actually says uh men who have sex with men but it says slash jiu-jitsu fighters they'll be crazy wrestlers or they're like this next one oh it's all hungry people of people that are hungry hungry people who avoid their taxes i swear to god these ████ hungry people
13:41 you
// end of tape