0:00 thank you [Music] welcome back to care for boys we're very careful boys today we're talking about are you guys how do you feel about open relationships Nick Dunn open relationships I could ever do one just your general thoughts General thoughts judge people if you need to uh if I'm being judgmental yes judgmental side and a non-judgmental side can I do that yeah I think from what I've seen from observations what I'm being judgmental close range observation I feel like it takes a very specific yeah five mile radius non-consensual uh open relationships like I don't want it but my wife wants it so you gotta deal where's your wife want to do
0:51 um I think it does take a very specific type of person two specific type of people to be able to have an open relationship I think it is pretty hard I don't think I could ever do it I wonder the SEC the success rate I don't think it's that high yeah because like well what's the intention right are you trying to uh trying to ████ you're trying to ████ right that's what it really I almost feel like that's easier though if it's open relationship or it's like open ████ versus actual open relationship I think it's hard to like confide and have like uh emotional intimacy with like five people versus like this is my partner we both ████ around and we come back to each other because it's physical I feel like that's easier because everyone else is like technically masturbation but just with the other humans yeah but then here is like our relation or whatever yeah how
1:43 do you find the time that's that's the other side of the equation too please find time for things you love doing because even in polygamous right like when you when you watch those shows with uh your shoes when you watch those like polygamous shows right yeah that the husband looks ████ drained like he's never sleeping and then the all the wives are fighting for attention and then like he wants you know he gets to sleep with this one but then they're just sleeping and cuddling like they're not banging every night you know and then like sometimes he's gonna buy a flower store dude this guy's going broke I think it's for rich people sometimes too yeah you definitely have to have a foreigner with a lot of resources he's farming tulips and ████ he's rich in resources rich in time as well too vagina you know if you want to know uh
2:34 swimming in it I guess this would be like a preconceived or like bad stereotype I have about it is only because I've seen this like you said it takes two people that have that unique um thing where they both want to do it yeah but I've seen too many situations where dudes be talking their girl into doing it and making them think that they also wanted it yeah yeah right it's like the manipulation I've seen the opposite and that ████ yeah the girl makes the guy and we know someone that's tough like that not to name names but she is the one that convinced her husband at the time to have an open relationship Jill would convince me [Laughter] yeah we all we all knew that she's already had the relationship that's why
3:25 she was living with the guilt and convinced of the open relationship so she could freely have her boyfriend right went off to Europe lived with her boyfriend while her husband was paying for the trip so she's trying to get a receipt for some she already stole basically so oh that's so good then this guy's good he's like well ████ it and he's acting out on it and then she gets jealous comes back and then wants a divorce all this stuff they get a divorce and then um you know her husband like or ex-husband just kind of you know go single and he actually finds a genuine relationship and she gets extremely jealous because her you know her her boyfriend leaves her and she's all single and all this stuff and he might have been like the best he never happened to her when she ████ it all
4:15 away yeah yeah that's another thing too right because I think the grass is always greener right you think it's oh man I'm gonna be able to find someone out there and then once you go start going through the motions of that you realize like oh what I had at home was actually way more ideal because it's also I think the grass is greener where you water it too right like if you put time and effort inside a relationship that's when it gets the ideal relationship that you're looking for versus oh I could just go get it out there but I haven't been in that situation my wife ████ around a lot and she's she's out there searching dude yeah yeah yeah it was uh this one guy was talking about that right and then he was like you know what where a lot of guys ████ up is like they're trying to fill up that 10 that they're missing in their relationship with this other person because she'll have the 10 percent
5:05 because he'll like take for granted the 90 that he's getting fulfilled from his current wife so he leaves the 90 and the children and everything and that to fulfill that 10 and he looks back like ████ yeah I had it so good why were people raised with guilt I was Raising so much Soul crushing yeah for real there's no way I could even ████ even think about opening my relationship up first of all second of all I probably couldn't even get hard if I was with some chick because I'd be so ████ thinking about Nikki the whole time and how I'm ████ betraying her yeah I think it's not so much yeah but I think it's uh the lack of discipline and their impulses are stronger than their guilts so like for example I think a lot of people do feel guilt after the fact they do it they talk themselves into it but it's like a kid that loves chocolate
5:56 don't cry while they like went into the chocolate jar it's like the dog is so cool with chocolate they're on the ground I think that their level of whatever it is the need to they might also see it as a form of Liberation too because like you know like when you grow up and you're like ████ all I've been doing this what my parents ████ want and then you have guilt when you're doing what your parents don't want you to do but then you finally do it and they're like ████ yeah I'm my own person so I could see that too where they're like my whole life I was being told to do this but I've always been feeling this way and then so when they go and they do it they might actually feel like ah I'm free for once I think it's great when you find the example of two people that both really like it but I never found nobody yeah yeah I don't know any situations where yeah it's always like one person's convincing the other that's the hard part I always see it on Vice
6:50 it's like some couple everyone has tattoos a lot of tattoos and they're like and then like yeah we're it's great actually it's ████ awesome and ████ like but right honey right yeah Shannon um Budram she has an opening relationship that she never acted out on yeah but their policy at home is both of them can be open and the both of them have not acted I think that happens a lot though too because it's like if you have that free pass and you have that so don't want to do it yeah but isn't that weird too it's like so like say I'm at JK or whatever and there's some chick or something and then I already know I have an open relationship with Nikki and then but like I haven't used it yet but then like tonight she's like hey where are you at and I'm like oh like um there's this cool chick of JK we're gonna go get dinner yeah right it's weird also I also
7:41 feel like it's like but yeah logical denial though but that does work in a situation where if if Nikki was the kind of girl that thought it was hot to think of you and another girl that's where that's where it's like oh that's because it only works if the person's a cup that's what I mean there are couples that like the idea of their mate with another person it's getting real I actually had a open relationship like um situation where it was just like yeah we we just don't talk about whatever but it only worked because there was no love in the relationship it was a very convenient relationship with it was more like a roommate situation where we're friends that ████ right so there's no like deep feelings no and I had no sexual jealousy so I was like yeah ████ whoever you want so a
8:31 loving open relationship is what we're talking about like I think that that's difficult that's very different very very different how did you not have some type of feeling you know especially if you love somebody and then they're just getting because that's almost like like hey I love I really love this car and then you just leave the keys and everybody can come drive [Laughter] it's like usually the more the things you love the most are the most sacred to you and then you're like you're trying to protect it and nurture it as much as you can it's hard to be like oh I love this theme but yeah everyone everyone take a drive yeah come on that's why usually when when there's people like that in your life that end up in stuff like this you kind of have to if it's someone close to you you can kind of see they grew up with a different definition of love that's true something was different love was expressed differently in their household love was expressively growing up it's never like your normal
9:23 thing so that's how they ended up arriving at like a more custom version that's true because I know someone who probably wouldn't even mind being cheated on if they were a stable good like husband and then it's because of how she was raised and what was normal in her household and her mom was like a side chick and so like all those and then so like yeah she's in these very like weird relationships all the time and and I feel like she's desensitized um and very accepting of the like the very liberal like you know ways of viewing sex so like I think well you know in these open relationships can you one love multiple people simultaneously and give them all the same level of attention like that's hard to do right so that's why I think the
10:15 rest of us are constantly equating it to like sexually open but some people will use that definition and go open relationships means no I couldn't deeply care for and feel romantic and maybe they can maybe they can I just can't relate to that or maybe maybe it's the environment that's dependent right like you know you hear some people that live like a polygamy like household and it's like eight people that live in a house or something sister wife stuff yeah like and it's equal guys whatever whatever the setup is I feel like because the environment of the whole Community is like in on it maybe they're normal yeah maybe that'll work in addition to that way oh yeah or like lifestyle yeah like let's say like uh pre-taika if me and Jill are together but then it's like I'm on tour all the time and then we also want to have like physical needs met then we have this
11:06 thing that's cool but then we're still each other's per like person I can totally see that yeah but then I I think for me personally like once uh taika's in the picture like I love this Dynamic so much there's no way but the previous like we've talked I think the similar topic before it has been brought up I could see ourselves maybe being open like maybe later on and being like physically open uh or whatever but once we had like tight gun that there's like so many other domino effect beings that could happen it's just too this is too risky I think he comes home and I know his cheeks been clapping around for somebody else I I think it's over yeah actually my brain caves in and then like Nick Don I think it's murder suicide murder homicide you want to know that I take the cats with me too you want to know sick ass detail though I think the couples that are doing this well and are having no problems I don't think you'll
11:57 ever hear about it yeah why because it's part of their identity ████ works the people people that are trying to justify to the World by going hey look at us we're doing good we're advice they're not doing good like virtues saying million their own way exactly because because one of my one of my really closest friends she found out way later in life that her parents were like that wow but it was way later it was quiet she was already ████ an adult she's in her 30s she came home at the wrong time oh ████ and her parents were they were swinging they had another couple over and then her mom had to explain to her like honey this is like our lifestyle we've always kind of been this way oh yes one of your Lifestyles and they're like some Orange County like white like white bread really really great family what the ████ are they but they don't they just do them in the living room if you could just come home and be like this is weird if I just see my parents with like two other parents just ████ away yeah it must be
12:48 something like that with a spread like a mommy was topless and you know some s█████ board out you're like it was a party but they're ████ clapping cheeks in the master bedroom that does sound like some OC conservative like yeah but they're not they're not out there trying to Advocate it they're just they just do it and it was a rotisserie probably because they don't publicize it also it seems like they're doing that experience together exactly open a relationship and you're individually going you're separate yeah yeah that's an orgy to prove it to other people that's when it's that's like I think a bad sign that's like people with miserable bomb Point that's like miserable relationships that need to compensate with big expensive weddings oh yeah very true yeah it is you're overcompensating dude Kim K Marion uh what's his name the the basketball player Oh freeze and then
13:38 like divorce oh my God in a month yeah they spent like two million five million dollars but they they ████ made it back though because all the brand deals oh that's right right that ████ was crazy crazy yeah but you know hang on my thread though so it's a no for me I've got it that's that is like the call center guy we're like he's like hello I work for the Best Buy and then you like ████ you he's like ████ you ████ you that's you getting you getting a gorilla wedding and then like you're divorced in a month same exact thing bro I think if tip ever found out I was like I was like sleeping around or doing something crazy I think she would literally kill me yeah I think she'll slip my ████ into it yeah for sure absolutely I think the idea if it all works out perfectly seems fine right but then like
14:28 you can't predict how both of you will react and it's one of those things you can't change once you open that door yeah that's true that's true you can't restore it back to the default settings it might be like you imagine it being cool and then you open it and you're just like ████ now I just don't see you the same way or you might run into a dangerous human being and like that's the thing is like it only takes one sociopath in your life to ████ ruin everything yeah that's true you know what I mean like you just don't know how many stories we cover on JK where the ████ happens every other time yeah and then we say that should happen to them yeah and imagine if like you get someone pregnant or your wife gets pregnant or like STD STD just or just yeah as the older you get the more like
15:18 the like the older you get the more ████ more reasons to not do it well there's like extra ████ so like let's say I had an extra girl on the side and he got serious um hey can we add her to our insurance premium you just got like you're just cool you have like all kinds of weird ████ there's a lot what are the limitations there's a there's the third person I want to add to our car registration they drive it sometimes but you know when you hear stories about like what the ████ do you hear stories about a guy that has like two other families oh that's ████ crazy that blows my mind right because it's like how do they do Uncle convinced my mom that my dad had two families like years well my uncle can convince my mom anything because it's her brother and like it doesn't take him long and my mom was fully ████ convinced like serious or was he like dead serious what are the
16:09 signs he was he was serious like he really I think if he was ████ around I mean he's a master troll does he hate your dad or something yeah him and my dad have like a ████ thing they have family in America what because they worked in um shipping so and then he you know he was a traveling like pastor and ████ so like he had a family out there in Wales and then when he came to the states he had another one here in Utah whoa yeah and then they did it 23andMe and all that they were just like we have family out there and then like I guess they all reached out on like Facebook and whatever see that makes swinging look like easy mode yeah yeah yeah yeah family yeah that's tough bro the other ████ pictures of Diablo that's exactly what that's like
16:59 trying to do that well yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah the best thing about Nikki is she knows how to push my buttons like nobody else on the earth and if I cheated on her or something ████ up like that I know exactly what she would do to me and it would ████ actually melt my soul I could actually cry right now I think yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah you know what she would do she wouldn't even like she would be mad at me but that's not what she would come at me with oh no that's too simple yeah she's like ████ Dexter dude she would hit me with the like disappointed like I'm gonna be okay but like man I loved you so much oh God down dude that hurts way more than blowing up in my car it's hurting me it's not even a relationship more because then you just sit with it and you're just it's like
17:50 I'm the girl oh my God I'm the guy sitting in my ████ and pissed yep yep yep you got nothing to show for it too right to show for it what I get a blowy yeah a sad blowy because I'm so scared and sad took forever too because you couldn't ever no couldn't even stay hard yeah yeah that's what man you gotta watch out like for for girls they gotta really find that red flag when a dude starts to kind of push it yeah because I've seen it pushed in the fashion of like um you know like some girls think other girls are cute and then their dude's gonna go oh you think she's cute you think she's hot and then they try to push this like yeah almost bisexuality in teams I don't think that works bro as a as a gateway to getting him so dude that's a ████ thing I've heard it on that side I've heard on the guy's side what do they do for anything what are they what what do they do it for they do it to get the pass
18:40 eventually passed to them so they'd be like oh babe you think she's High we should why don't you just experiment try it out you know and then that way there's leverage to go all right now my turn like why don't I have sex with her now it's it's ████ disgusting and it does work that way and it has worked because you know why some Partners just want to make them happy yeah they'll do anything and they might be a little gay curious we all are a little gay Curious George yeah that's just admit it Joe you said that we had to be to work here yeah that was a prereq that's why I'm here my conversations are way more boring it's like did you see rib eyes are on sale at Albertsons should we go there [Laughter]
19:32 they actually turn the Earth more than me part nothing [Music]
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