0:00 can you imagine getting in a quad accident you go [Laughter] [Music] so uh there was a father of three who had a kind of tragic accident on a quad bike while riding along a beach in Argentina uh and went missing for some time what it's so funny because I just imagined they saw the guy on the bike it crashes and then they're like where the ████ did he go well what happened is he he was kind of off-roading along this stretch of the coastline and then uh I guess allegedly fell in that accident off the coastline so it was gone for a while his wife you know what you do at the beach you look for the footprints in the sand and it's
0:51 usually you know it might have been a cliff [Laughter] um no it goes into a different direction yeah he disappears his wife Virginia posted a bunch of like desperate messages on Facebook and stuff trying to like get in touch and see if anybody found him two days later his damaged all-terrain vehicle and helmet were found on a beach uh near this area rokus Colorado a protected area of lagoons dunes and colored rock formations um and then that weekend two local men went fishing and hauled in three sharks out of the sea oh cool and inside the shark's belly was the man they cut the shark open to clean them and prepare them for eating they found human remains yo all these human remains there was a
1:43 tattoo still that you could see depicting a rose which was still visible on the arm of the body which matched the tattoo that this dude Mr Barrio had allowing for him to be identified can you imagine getting in a quad accident you go [Laughter] you survived follow ████ wave because oh ████ with a drown you like survived the wave I know not not everywhere has sharks yeah yeah if I had to judge this scenario I think God really wanted him dead yeah yep yeah and I'll make you a Christian right because he fell off the bike the wave
2:35 pulled them in then it's like he was trying to survive but God's like uh just make it easy it's really hard to not see the will of the Lord in this hand the will of the Lord sometimes people say Jesus is a better assassin than the CIA agent people say that yeah speaking of one of the uh the comments on his article one of like the most like liked comments on the article did mention like what are the chances that like you get eaten by a shark and that shark is also caught yeah you know what I mean in that same week where your remains have not been digested so that you can still close and get closure bro yeah you know what I mean that crazy level also says God will never give you a tribulation too much for you to handle so what happened here you are ████ me up right now man the will of the Lord is destroying me what do you think about the will of the Lord
3:25 this is what you find on the front page of Yahoo news yeah the work of our heavenly father hey JK News is here to report the news you've been following for a while you know we're we're the only incredible news source out there I would say we're the only news stories out there that doesn't have an agenda and always hurts ourselves and we post the stories like it might be because we don't have an agenda that we hurt ourselves yeah and we're the only news that reports other people's news then we give our own opinions on it it is interesting proximity to the the fact that you crash on an ATV roll off a cliff into the water you think he was dead before he hit the water I mean how did were the sharks that close to the shore or did he wash out you probably got washed out so he's probably dead in the water I've been dead dude nope they want fresh meat baby he
4:15 probably fell and when he was going down the cliff he was breaking his arm ripping this ████ and when he got into the water the blood oh yeah I didn't this charge went what the ████ is that that's blood yeah and I heard that sharks don't like eating humans but in this case they must have been very hungry when you smell the blood in the water is that what they say yeah because humans taste yucky today is that what they'd say but they don't have taste buds so I ████ don't know man they don't have taste buds I think they just swallow their ████ food don't they yeah they just take a bite and just swallow it if they have a whole arm with a tattoo still on it well a lot of shark bites happen because they bite you yeah and they go oh what the hell but it just so happens that they have a thousand ████ teeth so when they bite you just to test you dead bro but they don't chew like they don't got molars right yeah yeah just like ████ regular fish when
5:05 you see them eat they're not chewing they swallow they take one bite and that's it yeah they're using the suction force of water that goes out their gills and suddenly you're fully in there with the tattoos and all dude that really sucks man are you religious how did you grow up religious no no rest in peace but yeah Jesus recipes oh yeah I feel bad good cheese that's hard they say they said it is probable that Miss sabaria had an accident and was dragged out to sea um and then they say a strong title surge could have pulled them in and then of course that's where the Sharks happen but I mean do they find the ATV though yeah they did that's how they knew that's kind of a good way to kill somebody though just kill him and dump
5:57 them out into sea this is one of those things that happened on like 1000 Ways to Die oh yeah yeah yeah it's just so improbable that it's like it's like number three it's like really high up like oh yeah so someone someone needs to animate this anybody got like a oh good I was gonna say if his wife is a true Latina doing they interviewed her she's like that ████ [Laughter] she's just pushing at his grave look where it got you they're at the ████ at the eulogy Rest In Pieces When I close my eyes that's a ladder ████ sharks I do matches and ████ what the ████ is
6:48 this you should have been at home should have been home with our kids I ████ know you stupid [Laughter] what else happened to this guy man he's like probably the ATV crash because he got hit by lightning oh ████ yeah stunned him so he couldn't swim this dude was like one in a million in a row and he tumbled down the cliff hit like 18 cactuses and stuff like that dude this guy had a Wiley Coyote death that's ████ up have you guys had like an incident where it was like this is like a one in a million type of thing that like consecutive things happen bro I thought it was really funny when I smacked David's face with a surfboard oh but I felt bad but not that was like consecutive this is like anybody got like a one in a million game I thought it was funny when
7:38 I smacked him on the surface but honestly David is that guy no but that was though no because like Bart were you surfing with me I was surfing with you in the water like and then I was coming out because you saw a turtle or something right yeah yeah so a lot going on right there I was riding David David was standing and he was like in in knee deep water right and he was like filming and he goes this is ████ amazing I think it's filming you yeah he was filming us and it was ████ amazing right and all I remember is slipping slow motion and the board goes and flies toward and I see Bart's eyes and he's like this but he's also going oh it's a turtle like that right and while Barb's looking at this Turtle I see this ████ board fly right into David and David's just standing there with this
8:29 ████ camera like this and I dive into the water and I get back up and his ████ face has blood oh no that's David dude all these accidents they always ████ happen so we're here in Hawaii like you're you're one of your number one things is to try to see a turtle like swim around right because you know they exist but they're rare so you really want to see one so anytime anyone points that Turtle everyone looks and I remember Joe was going he gets off the board it flies directly at David at the same time I think I see a turtle oh ████ Turtle so David get gets hit in the mouth blood gushes everywhere you see him go like this but he still wants to see the turtle so he gets up [Laughter] damn I didn't know his Priority One it is for sure everyone's trying to it was
9:19 like watching a bullet go toward my friend and I couldn't do anything about it it goes faster you know when you fall off a skateboard or something yeah you were wearing a leash yeah no I don't think so it was launching though ████ poor David dude I wouldn't say there's one in a million but I will say that felt like 100 million because I was really drunk um we were uh celebrating Chad uh not really bachelor party because his bachelor party was really epic but uh just like at our old studio and we all got drunk and we had a basketball rim like inside the complex and everybody's shooting balls and stuff like that and just celebrating him about to get married and he had a family wedding coming up it's a family wedding nobody else is invited right um but he likes to gamble I know he likes to gamble so I was like hey if I make this half court shot right now you have to
10:09 take him to your family wedding so he's like that and I was drunk as ████ so he also made it back because he knew I wasn't gonna make it I just threw it and I made it and he has to be mad at work so he called his uh his wife at the time Jolie and he's like he's like hey uh we have to add Anthony and Nina to our family wedding and I went in the Philippines no no the family wedding is here it was during covet to like you know like they had like really segregated types of weddings and I was literally the only dude that was like at the family wedding because is that awkward for you or not for me easy I could just park and eat like I'm super cool with his cousins I got really cool this cousins they were smoking me out it was great so but hey I suck at basketball so it felt like one in a nine that's the most important thing with your hype you suck at basketball I doubt that too man don't shame me like that dude you're gaslighting me no way
10:59 you know those minutes like I haven't even minutes but that it's like less than a 10 second moment of realizing you can't do anything but like you're falling from like an accident those always feel like an hour yeah it feels like it takes a long time because the last time I got into like a major crash was um I was mountain biking and as I was coming down I couldn't turn fast enough so I just ████ hit a fence and it was one of those wood fences where there's two and then there's a pike right so I hit the top part and then I tumble forward and my chest hits so the pike is like this and then it's like that right so when I when I go I hit this end slide through it and my and I fly forward and my chest hits that so it ████ hits my chest and during that whole time everything is so
11:49 slow motion and I'm like where am I going and I can't move my body fast in life like what am I doing I'm like ████ ████ like I have enough time to think about everything and it's like you know how Deadpool slows down and ████ like and then you can think of all those things it's just all those things happen and I'm just like boom you're like Quicksilver dude this is why I hate outdoor exercise you could die yeah it's too many variables this is why I stay at home and watch anime any outdoor exercises okay so recently I tried skiing okay right you got snowboard right it's skiing snowboard that's that's an outdoor activity right Outdoors yeah and so I'm all right like I'm giving it a shot and so first they take me up to this like big slope I didn't know how high this
12:41 mountain was gonna be right and it just keeps on going and going and going so now I'm at the top and we're in Lake Tahoe or South Tahoe up north okay right and it was like the real mountain yeah and this was during like the the snowstorm that just happened so so I'm looking up it's I just see just whiteness just pure white so hey so I start I I start skiing right and naturally it just I I just couldn't break because it was it was just snowing so heavy and I just couldn't I couldn't break so so when I was doing the pizza all right no one taught you or anything no no no I was watching some videos but you know like let's just do bunny slope well see my all my friends wanted to go to the top so I'll go to the top I'm not
13:32 a ████ I'll go right and then and then then when I tried breaking it wouldn't break that's when I started tumbling oh yeah and then I just couldn't like go down without just tumbling we had a bad time so not the only way you got back down is tumbling down well at a certain point I I had to I like I gave up you took off the skis and you walked down I took out the skis and I just laid there for a second yeah you like tied the boots hang them over your shoulder walk of ████ you kind of have to yeah I didn't even start walking I just laid there just just pray to God like someone was gonna say but I told my friend I hope a shark comes up yeah yeah I am but yeah I just saw my friends hey just go down and get the paramedics for me yeah imma just yeah yeah so they
14:22 got you out of there yeah yeah yeah yeah they got me out huh you didn't have a helmet I had all the gear I was so ready I was so ready it's tough bro no I mean for not knowing how to ski very well and going to the top like that that's cool they might have been setting you up to die bro it's a lot [Music] thank you
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