0:01 let's say that she found out from the doctor that you your sperm was dead but she didn't want your feelings to hurt so she went and got inseminated got ti so she faked the scene when I in her mouth and she goes you like this yeah because and then she took the out of her mouth and went like put it inside she faked that whole scene um what is that what [Music] happened what is something welcome back to careful boys we're careful boys and we're so check it out what's something you your partner would have to do to make you leave her instantaneously in the oh dude ████ not not wash her ████ coffee cups dude jeez what yeah dude so that's never happened by the way oh no it happens all the time dude they
0:51 love that why do they do that dude she has so okay can I tell okay this is this is just a funny anecdote okay go go go go we in our house we have so many ████ coffee cups it's just us two that live there right and when I went to your house to to stay for when we when we shot at Trump Tower right and you're like go grab a cup I look at your cupboard and it was like four cups dude it was like literally four cups nice that you guys had I go home I tell my wife I'm like you know how many cups Bart has he has a family of three I was like they have like five cups and then I'm like we have way too many coffee cups how many do you have coffee cups just coffee cups like these types like maybe she's a she's a connoisseur like she's a collector for sure but not there's too many still I'm going to make you guys oh more than 20 more than 20
1:41 wow maybe 15 bro I have like ████ 40 of them dude really that's ████ ████ dude is that is that collector ████ though also can dude no this ████ you have a big kitchen though you have a big kitchen we our kitchen how many coffee cups you need that are that are cat-shaped we have all oh that makes sense though you know how they are yeah it's like emotional trauma or something but it's just like you got to you got to wash your coffee cups dude you got to wash they don't wash them we have to do it what they do is they'll take one for each day and at the 17th day they wash it oh dude yeah they will is that she does always a fresh one thankfully I have gigantic hands I can get like ████ 35 coffee cups like just doing this ████ like janitor's keys with my fingers and just walking them around CL just clanging around just clanging
2:31 around but yeah so yeah that that for me so we spent 3 minutes talking about how you're going to leave your girl for not washing her coffee cup it's it's it's a slow she already does but it's like you do it enough like it compounds over time or the anger go it's like eroding a waterfall what was her response to you when you told her like hey clean your cups she's like I will my bad I'm tripping and I go all right but she does it again o yeah but you know it's well that's cool it's not that big of a deal so that's I just want to be acknowledged sometimes it's all yeah I get it that's cute that's nice so so leave instantly is the topic oh leave instantly oh sh my bad dude I misheard you sorry Bart you want to go leave instantly well I was thinking cuz I have I think I have a pretty high bar it's like let's see cuz I'm like if like let's say she was like okay I ha to
3:22 break this to you but my name's actually Sarah Silverman and I'm a CIA agent oh cool sexy what you yeah you're making this like a fantasy right now sex is that a fantasy you're getting bed up oh ████ like has to be something else you been lying to me this whole time you're that like has to be like an IRS agent I got to tell I got to tell you something my name is Sam Silverman I'm a ████ guy yeah sexchange operation and ta is not yours what if Gio was a dude you know what's crazy Gio dude I did tell her I was like I was like this is crazy because it's beyond my brain cells but I was like I think I love love you so much just as a person that if you became a dude I would still stay with you give me one second is that gay or what why but like
4:13 why did why do you even have that thought I mean girls do cuz they ask you if they stay if you would stay with them if they were worm I always have crazy thoughts wor wait what and you said yes is that a you okay real real I kind of understand I have crazy thoughts all the time I kind of understand that that's like very Roman but what if she had a dick though what if she had a big old ████ D so I would have to like you know I'm not turned on by a penis you suck it off she's trying to Peg you every night too I would have to work my way around and find a new Dynamic you got to build it up but my intent is to make it work she loves hand jobs likeing them she loves handies and hand jobs are easy super easy every day do you ever seen this for easy that sounds like Bart super cook she's trying to catch up you know what I mean Bar's a super cook probably huh hand jobs are you could do your to get I think you don't understand the prompt though like what's going to make you
5:03 leave that's what I'm saying so I've been that's why I've been brainstorming in my mind cuz I cuz the bar is really high she's like ta is not yours hey that's a high bar though that's a high bar that's a very high bar You' been raising that one t your for sure million you're out damn I do love that are wait wait wait are you out no matter who the real dad is though it's really good are you out no matter who is or get what if was a real dad because all of the ████ kids look like David when they come out yeah they do every ████ Enzo look like David ta look like David maybe David looks like the kids David David looks like the kids maybe David has a problem yeah maybe it's him bro damn that's a tough maybe Dave is Johnny apple seed and all the chicks in our group Johnny apple seed
5:53 because you know what it's tough man you know before you have a kid it's easy to man ████ that whatever right but then in you build a crazy Bond right and then you're you're his dad he's your son but then also my other side of me is like but it was never meant to be begin to begin with I've just been living a false life for 6 years so do I correct that life or do I go based off of what we have like do you demolish the house or do you just keep remodeling your here here's a situation that might you might stay let's say that she found out from the doctor that you your sperm was dead but she didn't want your feelings to hurt so she went and got inseminated by D she didn't ████ somebody she just got a sperm donor by David jerk off in a cup
6:45 so she faked the scene when I ████ in her mouth she goes you like this yeah because and then she took the ████ out of her mouth and went like put it inside she faked that whole scene um what is that what happened no is that what happened um you get pregnant like that we were getting creative we workshopped that one that might save it though that might save it that saves it huh wow Bart's weird you know what rhymes with save it David David David that would repair the situation how about that I can we do a blood test with you guys and David just for fun you are not the father as a JK Adventure Adventures can we call Mor just for fun I'm also
7:35 weird too obviously because let's say it really was David right okay okay okay here we go here we go this is going to be weird if it really was David he loves I love David so much mhm I love Gio so much I love Tao so much I would be like we need to figure something out what the hell is going on what happened between you two how a family group yeah how did that happen how do we move forward cuz I love everybody here and what if there like reverse cow girl happen oh yeah what if she's like same with you I went you like that hey guys this isn't funny anymore that's disgusting how did it lead up to reverse cowgirl what happened disgusting yeah what happened to the how did that that's what happened that's a rainy night that's how much they disrespect
8:26 you how did it happen reverse cowgirl hat and I loved it with eye contact somehow Steve Green wrote that one so you'd be willing to work out something well I also know I'm not easy to be with so I'm like what makes you want to stick around cuz you went through torture by yeah cuz I'm like I'm like hugging a C I'm a cactus if and you're hugging it every day like what makes you want to hug this Cactus you could leave any time maybe she's Me Maybe she's a porcupine it's all she knows but your scenario maybe she's a porcupine that seems like it could pass because it's more like the out of the intention of like she really wanted to save my feelings and then maybe she like she knew what my dream was she just wants my dream to come to life you know yeah this is why she thinks we're the dumbest men
9:16 on Earth by the way we created a sick scenario no that'd be a tight movie We're not the dumbest all right someone else's turn D okay I'll go I'll go if Tiff came up to me and was like I'm in love with somebody else I think I would be like all right then for real i' be like all right then and it was David that's it D David again it's David cuz it's like it's ████ David if if if that person if if she came up to me at that point and she really felt that like okay I need to tell this ████ that like I'm going to love with someone else I don't want to be with you anymore sit no she's not leaving you cut the losses I'm like I'm out what if it's this though what if it's not even I fell in love what if um she was like hey there's this guy I met at work or whatever when I I don't know I feel like some like crazy connection I don't just not not romantic or anything just like she just feels a certain way like in the beginning of it oh that's interesting
10:07 and she like let me know transparent or it could even be like y I think she's like like I don't know I feel like like my brother or like like we get each other she just feels guilty already so she wants you to so already inside I'm like this I'm fired up I'm pissed that was a good fight but because you were raised by so many women yeah yeah so then I'll will I'll act out and be really Petty and I'll be passive aggressive all day and I just she'll be like are you upset I'm like I'm not even worried about it I'm even worried about it and then 3 days later I'll do something that'll like really make her mad I'll you know smash a coffee cup oh I broke a coffee cup and another one and another one and another one they just keep slipping on my ████ hands yeah cut uh I think if you hit me with that I think that would be a separate conversation I think we'd have to be like well what the ████ are you telling me about this for I think I'd get fired up I think I'd be pretty mad but I don't
10:58 know I think her someone is already she doesn't even need to commit anything do anything it's just her heart is somewhere else you wouldn't want to like what about like coup's therapy let's try to make it work fix I think I would exhaust those things for sure oh I see what if she was like what if one of her friends at work talked her into making an only fans that's so funny cuz and it's a chick friend too right yeah and she's just like I want to do it it's liberating what kind of content is it ████ you know what kind of know cucumber nudes in Solo play cucum like if I get to fil man cucumbers and bananas I don't think that will bother me now all your jiujitsu homies subscribe to her oh that would be weird bro that' be really weird she's doing it in GES and cucumbers and bananas cucumbers and bananas but you'd have to decide at that at the moment she's telling you if you're leaving or staying you don't know how it's going to happen
11:48 she's just saying I'm going to do it I think ini you in or not I think I'm in dude you're in I think I might be in let's go Nick likes money no well it's just like no she don't want to make money she wants to make free oh it's charity it's not about the money I I just want to express myself be a Voyer you know yeah it's not about the money money I don't think that'd be I say that now but I'll probably be a ████ he said a small tiny man dude I'll be a small tiny man about it raised by women Nick's going to be the boyfriend at the strip club I don't know I think would have to take a lot it would have to take a lot for her to for us to get divorced in your bar is pretty high that's crazy but you've been I think the longer you've been together the bars higher and higher well it's like it's like you know we could work through ████ you know what I mean like like I I think
12:39 initially like a couple years ago I may not say that but now I know that like we could work through hard conversations and and try to figure some ████ out cuz it's not perfect obviously like you want to throw away like it's based on how I handle it like my ability to keep it cool and and stay C what if she's like I lied about my age I'm actually still 19 I'll be like ████ say less I'll be like sh so she went to high school early yeah she was a smart guy so so you're technically a pedophile yeah and I'm like not anymore but she robbed his cradle she's like but I won't tell anyone for now and dangles it over my head you're zany what if she's like I lied I'm actually [Music] 48 I don't think i' be I don't think I'll be that makes a lot of sense she
13:29 can't have kids anymore like age is like the easiest I'm like who cares all right cool we don't have kids we have kids actually bet traal is different than age I think betrayal is the biggest okay what if she's like what if she goes I want to get rid of these dogs I'm tired of them I told her I was like bro if you if you divorce me yo I'm taking the ████ dog what if she's like I want to stay with you these dogs got to go divorce her and they go by murder oh dude oh God you got to do it too that's a weird change of heart and I'll look at her differently you got to kill the kids and I think I might be like I'm taking the dogs dude I might I don't know how about a real like a a this video is just trying to break Nick a Down to Earth one it's Jiu-Jitsu or me oh jiujitsu he picks her come on D he
14:20 picks her he's I'll do ████ yeah I'll I'll pick her then really that's so easy easy really but then I'll go crazy cuz if I don't like exert that you got to do something I'll ████ I'll probably beat her up she'll reward you I'll beat her ████ ass I'll commit domestic violence probably I I'm done trying to break you somebody else go dude Jo's turn we wanted to be really excited Anthony real quick I'll go cuz I have a uber about to show up cuz I got to go to the airport uh she'd have to just she'd have to just cheat on me and it'd be over it'd be completely over if she Che cheats on you we're Riders I'm a rider I'm I ride and ride and ride if you betray me it's over it's over yeah if you ride with somebody else it's over it's that simple does it need to be physical or is it emotional or uh physical is like seals the deal
15:13 yeah that's a big one so it's not physical but she's like in love with David yeah no it's over she's in love with David what am I going to do I'm not going to get in her way either I love her I love her to death I love her too much yeah what if she turned all your woo to cardano I kill her I kill her and I kill my I kill her oh wow then i k Charles hoskinson's the founder of cardano the founder of cardano and I finally just you know and then I like take a shower with his blood yeah and then yeah and then I move on with my life I have a great life nothing's going to split me and Hannah only if she tells me she's the queen of Wales and I'm like ████ that ████ I don't want the attention what if she ████ presses the button that blows up Japan oh ████ that I'm American Amer damn that's good so anything could H like let's say she killed NOP oh killing someone the makes her
16:03 hotter to me yeah what what if you found out she was a a guy no no a a a kid a kid offender oh that kind yeah oh no so she so she goes around she goes around defending kids she's saying shut up she's saying all kinds of she say you can't play you probably pooped your pants right now huh that's why you can't get down from that slide she'll take balls from kids kick it is that over your line that's that's over the line for a lot oh no smash kids iPads if I find out news like that she's like Mr Beast isn't real it's a it's going to be a homicide suicide hell oh you love her L her cuz I had to kill her so she doesn't hurt kids but I have to kill myself cuz then I hurt my love yeah that's so Japanese view that is very Japanese that's how I found out Gio
16:54 really loves me cuz she likes kid no no her no cuz her the to her the scum people of the Earth are the kid hurters right and then so I was like you know cuz I always have crazy thoughts I was like Hey like what would you how would you feel if you found out I was one yeah and then I thought she was just going to leave me right away or do whatever she was like well the first thing I would do is isolate taica away from you but then you're like what if ta's not that hot and then and then she'll keep him safe and then I would figure out um I would figure out like how long ago this started how long have you been dealing with this and then also still even allow me taica time but she's involved oh yeah and I was like wow like you would really want to make this work that's crazy damn whoever was the ad break on this
17:44 show you're ████ welcome I think it's War Parker is this the last episode yeah this is it guys okay uh mine are pretty simple it's just we both have this thing with like if she just wanted something else I would leave and if I wanted something else she would leave we're very just if she just even wanted yeah cuz I think that's like a thing where like I don't want to force her to figure out a way to want me and I don't want are you guys uh open to open relationships cuz that something else is that considered wanting something else no we're I think we just never really we don't have a yearning for anything more than like what we've got and I think it's like a thing where if she felt like I wasn't enough and she wanted something else or something different then I'm like not supposed to stand in the way of that and she's not supposed to stand in the way of whatever if that happens to me that's nice that's really very simple
18:34 anything else I think we at least will give it a shot yeah and if we fail then what's the worst that could happen it already ████ ████ hit the fan anyway so yeah yeah wow that's sweet what about you and I 20 minutes come on guys [Music]
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