0:00 I don't care what happens to me I'm dead already feed me to the pigs dude because I could do a piranha tank yeah like they could do a viewing where it's like they dropped me in a piranha tank and then everyone watches the piranhas and clean me up like a ████ have you guys heard of water cremation sounds dumb oh like a toilet paper what you know you just you put the toilet paper in the water and dissolves you like that yeah oh no I thought I thought you should no no that's like one of those water ████ jet machines and you ████ disintegrated ████ oh yeah yeah basically oh is it like being in a hydro massage and they take the plastic off and they turn
0:51 it all the way up yeah but when the massage is done you're just bones you're just at Planet Fitness screaming so do people just turn into ████ sludge it's not if sludge makes it sound so horrible they turn into the dumpling fillings so it looks like a giant dry cleaning machine can we talk about water wow but wide water so you could flush it did you guys have one of those at your at your parents place yeah we were just cremating people nothing right oh that's weird and that's a weird machine so this is a it's technically an eco-friendly burial alternative that is now actually going to be offered in the UK at like one of the biggest funeral care providers what was uneco about the fire method is it because of the smoke and smoke energy usage and just the eco-friendliness like it apparently water cremation uses I think three times less energy but where does the Parks go
1:42 this is not of God yeah yeah all right so what information also known as Aqua Mission reservation and alkaline hydrolysis or whatever uses water to bring the body back to the skeletal Remains the body is placed in a steel vessel filled with water and an alkaline solution it's then heated up which takes the flesh back to its chemical components amino acids peptides uh sugars and salts oh so it fully breaks it down so it's after about three to four hours only the bones remain and then they're then ground down to a white powder placing an urn and given to the family wow so it's like really efficient so it just comes out a skeleton it's like body and then it comes out skeletons yeah and you gotta put the skeleton in the ████ skeleton grinder yeah yeah it's like a pulverizer thing right whoa like it's a power wash and then a pulverizing kind of as soon as it takes longer huh well it says uh quote
2:32 for decades there have been just two main choices when it comes to people's end-of-life Arrangements burial and cremation uh we'll be providing people with another option for how they want to leave this world because this natural process uses water not fire making it gentler on the body and Kinder on the environment gentler I bet that's the premium I don't know about that dude that's the premium price point I think fire is pretty gentle well do you guys know how you guys would want to go out there but what about the urns if you get this and you open the urn you want to smell the ash it's not going to have that nice little smoky all day no smoke you have to add artificial smoke to it yeah I want that Lucille's barbecue smell yeah I love that smell yeah because it's just grounded bones is that what you get yeah chalk that's where you dropped the line
3:23 otherwise it's hmm that fresh roasted Aroma Hickory and body Hickory Hickory well it says that around 245 kilograms of carbon emissions are generated by one traditional cremation oh look at the smoke the equivalent of charging your smartphone over 29 000 times on one of these metrics traditional burials also have negative environmental consequences the chemicals used in the embalming process can leak out and pollute the surrounding soil and waterways who the ████ embalming is that is that standard practice when you get burial I think they they do that to preserve to do the viewing yeah but that's not the Target demographic the Target demographic is trying to get the fire people to the water people yeah yeah Avatar last Nation to water Nation yeah embalming anyways they already don't they're moving generally they're just offering a third you know process now instead of
4:14 just the regular burials and fire cremation I don't care what happens to me I'm dead already yeah let the family deal with feed me to the pigs dude yeah so that if they because I could do a piranha tank like they could do a viewing where it's like they dropped me in a piranha tank and then everyone watches the Piranhas ████ clean me up like a ████ so what's the like so now we have if you're just buried that's Earth that's even more like water and fire what's the wind the air one yeah well that's still got to be like fire then you just blow yourself throw you into a fan maybe you're just in an air fryer or they throw you into a ████ 747 you know one of those the air turbine things yeah just while you're in there they throw you in the engine yeah which one is air yeah they don't have it yet or they just throw you out of a plane or they ████ connect
5:05 you to one of those giant helium balloon things and just wait till your whole body ████ pops oh that's tight yeah dude that's a good way to is it is it a good way to go or or water because you'd have to break the Earth's orbit or they just leave you in a desert oh dry up or like those beef jerky machines oh you get eaten yay turn your jerky what kind of jerky flavor would you want to be Teriyaki dude alien jerky dude alien jerk smoked jalapeno for me who's here on cremation versus burial I think I want to be cremated I want to be I don't really give a ████ to be honest yeah I let my family decide I want to be buried for this the case that maybe in the future I can come out oh oh oh you know what yeah because we get cremated there's no shop I would say
5:55 even though there's a wizard in the future cover me in Terracotta clay and then make a statue and put you in the bottom of the ocean nah like ████ put me on a in a statue and at the at the at the movie theater next to Maine [Laughter] the one where the Boba time is yeah I feel like if you're cremated that's it you're done no soul nothing really buried I feel like your Soul's still in the earth oh okay kick it next to your grave the whole time so you think all the people that are cremated are just erased that's it it's just like sleeping black that's it no memory nothing well what about the water people are they no they're fishes oh yeah oh that's how it makes sense so the Earth people become earthworms
6:46 the Earth people but the Earth people are still getting eaten up by the Earth then we're ants yeah Anthony turn into ants what don't you understand about this you're right I don't know where I'm going with this I don't know where I'm going so what about the wind people what do they become lots of birds ████ up birds if I do get if I do get buried put me in a driver's seat like that in my truck and bury the whole truck Egyptian the whole truck Egyptian yeah like you know how they were in their tomb and then they would be buried like with their Chariot with their ████ hoes with like servants like I want to be like Emperor style yeah the whole Squad yeah it's selfish just get like a hundred people lock them in the Tomb with me damn
7:36 and then uh uh leave me some ████ Chinese money you know the ████ you know the bird like they burn that ████ for their ancestors yep maybe a car yeah dude hook me up with that leave me in there with a Tacoma um I think that'll be pretty cool gun on my lap yeah because the afterlife I need my knee to protect me I think you would get grave robbed instantly oh yeah look over there it is a ████ sick Tacoma underneath that's what they did back in the day just a guy with a metal detector they buried the Pharaohs with the Chariots and the ████ canoes and they all got dug up yeah dude you'll get you'll get exhumed yeah you'll be in a museum somewhere that'll be cool I want to go to the Terracotta ████ uh Warrior thing how many of them are there thousands two thousand that's pretty crazy you know I seen one at a museum
8:27 and I was like damn that's crazy this guy is ancient as hell but he just looks like a Chinese Uncle Dude who's a Chinese guy but they also took him away from all of his homies they put him in a ████ Museum but when you see the picture of the whole thing it's like yeah and then they personalized every single one it's jet Lee's army every single one it's not like they had a mold and they just made a hella it was like Artisans made it look like the soldier that's ████ crazy yeah it's like one had a ████ ████ eye the other one had a ████ weird nose it's like but that's like the artist not doing well I didn't look like that when I was alive yeah that's a lot of ████ soldiers I like the idea of becoming space dust that's pretty cool space does it'd be like what's his face in Guardians of the Galaxy when they like eject you out yeah exactly is that
9:19 a spoiler dude yes Guardians of the Galaxy full movie number two who do they eject in this what's his name the blue guy yeah yeah the whistling blue he dies shut up are you serious that's number two dog in space I'm sure because I'm wondering if like oh you fall apart just 100 there's no gravity pulls you apart don't you just like freeze up and ████ no that's movies like you're if you're like your eyeball starts separating like you're ████ because everything is held together by gravity there is no gravity so like everything the way that you think your body is is just starts disintegrating there's nothing keeping your body together except the astronaut suit that you're dead in Oh I thought he was gonna be sent just to just this body yeah yeah dude because it's like so cold in space
10:09 that it's just you just petrify yeah you're gonna split dude yeah dude you're gonna your eyeball is gonna fall out does no gravity Joe doesn't know how crappy Works what dude you wish you'd never been in space never died in space before [Music]
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