0:00 [Music] this is a very very simple story um two men in austin texas were arrested for beating and nearly killing a food vendor over his hot dog price what 14 dollars guess what the price was was this that a ████ dodgers game six bucks austin austin texas like little hot dog uh carts i believe was it a mexican dude with the bacon wrap hot dog and a no palace cactus it hurts me to like yeah we got that in austin too they always pick on those maybe it's like an obscure price where it's like uh it's like i'll give you this hot dog you let me make out your mom i wish it was something yeah that sounds like a bargain in no way was just beating warranted the the hot dog price was six bucks oh come on what did it used to be two see okay a street dog is like five bucks because
0:51 inflation is tethered to hot dog prices what price warrants a ████ ass beating like they never see nothing twenty dollars that's the whole point of market price it's you could go um i don't want it but aren't they being capo's pieces of ████ though twenty dollars you try to sell me a hot dog for twenty dollars i'm ████ you beating ass how much is a hot dog at dodger stadium oh that's a lot maybe 12 bucks yeah it's like 15 16 but the the the wiener is longer than the bun yeah that's true that's very hard but i still think hands down costco has the best oh is this your water or mine you got possessed by sam's club dude costco costco said not spawn how did that phlegm come up street dogs are the best though i'm a big fan of street i love the la street dogs the 16-inch dogs at dodger stadium are 21 oh what man i'm ████ up
1:43 everybody at the dodgers stadium no you could ████ go to chinese restaurant buy a lobster for that price yeah you can some lobster noodles 21 dollars and the one that's still swimming too and their hot dogs are not even like the good ████ long ones dude it's like the little ones ████ oscar meyer ballpark ones so these two guys they nearly killed the dude over the six dollar price i mean i'm sure they were like six dollars and then the guy was like yeah go ████ you i don't know maybe you didn't say that that's new york man that's what they said the price was hey if you don't want a hot dog go ████ yourself then what what's the austin texas version well if it's a mexican dude he'd be like i'm sorry sir inflation inflation yeah is a 21 year old 19 year old guy uh they beat the dude up and they the hot dog vendor was found covered in blood outside a bar
2:34 a cop was there took him to the hospital he had life-threatening injuries including a gash in his head requiring staples a lacerated liver and widespread widespread pain all over his body yeah i beat him up real good huh did we see the hot dog do we know it was a hot dog or not he put two pieces of bread around the hot dog because then i'd probably kick his ass too two pieces of like wheat bread yeah what you mean like hey some people like that don't they put two pieces of bread around is weiner yeah people in hospitals like that because that's that's where they go that's the australian way they do it really yeah they should all get beat up it's like it's like a famous thing outside of this uh hardware store called bunnings it's like a some kind of like sausage sizzle they call it you go outside everybody does it apparently it's just two slices of white bread and a freaking frank in the middle that is so uncomfortable and they do it all the time i went to a car show out there like
3:24 a little car meet someone was doing it there they sold it for like a buck is that like a piggy and a blanket but more like a pig and a giant blanket like what is that that just sounds like boy scouts do they admit that do they admit they like it out loud or is it like they love it oh really sasha's sizzle yeah it's like it's like a pastime or maybe it's a a bogan thing i don't know better be like hawaiian british you had uncle uh what's his name yesterday roger uncle roger off camera he's talking about how much he loves panda he's like don't tell anybody but i love panda express well maybe that's that uh guilty pleasures you know it's like stuff that's uh it's like low classy yeah have you um guys uh ever had a hot dog where the the hot dog they ████ put a knife through it and they kind of split it and then yeah and then they sizzle both sides so it's extra crispy and then so you know like a hot dog bun it's like split like that right so the
4:14 hot dog is like a hot dog bun you can put a ketchup and mustard in the middle see i first explored a ████ bowling alley their diner in the bowling alley they busted that out as a kid and i was like mind blown and i was like damn this is ████ crazy bring the chef out i need to thank him and my mom was like man my son is so creative because she thought that i invented that ████ have you ever got a hot dog get a chopstick stick it through the middle pull out the chopstick and i have a hot dog straw nah why would i do that but what i've done do is i put a i put a chopstick through i turn on the stove and i started roasting hot dogs like that and now i got my ass beat that's the real thing you did made a hot dog straw yeah cause it makes whatever you drink tastes funny hot if that's what you want if you want to make whatever you're drinking tastes funny get a hot dog straw a mad tv way of dining it's like i know what you guys
5:05 are thinking we have a problem like how do i get hot dog flavored water quickly hot dog strong was it cooked was it raw i like want to know the details were you drinking milk no i'm pretty sure it was cooked do you guys do the ████ slices on the side like this when you do the hot dog oh the little diagonals i tried diagonal ones yeah yeah wait i still want to know what's the optimum thing to drink with a hot dog straw i don't know elementary school you're just doing experiments hey ketchup you drink ketchup with a hot dog straw bart was a menace as a child your perspective on how to like manipulate anything it's really you ever take a hot dog and put your boner in it that's disgusting that's where he draws the line dude okay keep it over there that's such a bart thing what i'd probably prefer to do is maybe take some l.a looks hair gel put in a ziplock bag put a microwave for me i don't know good 10 15 seconds and then put that on the wiener
5:56 i never did that before but it sounds like i feel good what does microwaves do it looks that's nice and squishy and warm and cozy that's actually something's making me legitimately curious oh that's uh that's what stevie weeby told us to do he did yeah not l.a looks but you know but a similar theory like a similar type of yeah yeah so that's yours but with l.a looks huh i just made it out cause i just what's the most you would pay for a hot dog nine dollars nine is your math well i think i paid 12 before like a nice little bra you know yeah i bet you i'd pay 24 dollars when i go to the dodger stadium i have to pay tax yeah i don't want a hot dog because you're to eat a hot dog there yeah what's your price dog what's your top price that's what i named my uh my dog daughter dog depends what kind of hot dog because i went to that uh dog house oh okay and they got some fancy hot dogs
6:46 is pretty good they make like you know the hawaiian buns yeah they got all kinds of ones they got chili dogs that like have like texas toast on it and all that hawaiian buns are the best yeah do you guys have that in paradise oh you mean pasadena yes we do i feel like i spent like 13 bucks on that but it felt like worth it how's the line was it like pinks yeah oh no nowhere near is pink's overrated yes oh but that one time i was stoned exactly oh remember that one that's because stoned is underrated that's different for a line down the block it's not good enough we got like little hot dog bites and every burst of a bite it felt like it was like heaven in the mouth dude that was the best hot dog i ever had was well we were in vegas that one time high and eating pink coming from someone who's never been high when you're high does does food taste you've never been
7:36 high kinda yeah it kind of does so have you ever been high have you ever been high had the munchies ate something and had a negative review of the food never wow if you eat ████ it's still going to be ████ it's not it it heightens what you like that's a good it heightens that's why it's called the highest and it makes your choices better that's true because i never ate ████ like bad food when i was high like what do you think about hot pockets they're okay yeah they're good they're high and you eat hot pockets and you're hungry right but the hand and cheese are good already you're just trying to eat that any time it's a religious experience yeah i just can't stop eating when i'm high or like taking flamin hot cheetos and dip it in philadelphia cream cheese when you're high that sounds fun diarrhea my boy but that sounds good i feel like fast food was invented to uh have when you're drunk or high yeah like the chef was probably like ████ high as ████ and then like developing all
8:26 these things for taco bell ████ like who thinks of five dollars midnight ████ snack boxes they literally call it the munchie box yeah like jack in the box i think when you're high it's like a sexual eating experience it is you know when you get those quite sexual tacos from jack in the box that no one gets but it's really good and there's oil like like just dripping out better before like if you're sober you're gonna do the dumpster two for a dollar ones the soy ones yeah i love it if you're sober you can do the dumb thing and just eat it straight if you're high you're going to stick your lip out like this and then rub it remove the oil because you want a foreplay first i don't know if you're selling it right now drag it across your mouth you get high huh we got to get bar high dude market's
9:21 wow would you trust a like a i don't know like one of those uh food rating review things but the person's high every time they eat it i trust it more you trust me i might trust it more yeah yeah because those guys are pretty chill and they don't have an agenda if you're high you don't have a ████ agenda that's true that's very true you're all about the experience and it's super honest you know like i'm trying to get more clicks you're like hey man the world is ████ awesome we need to love each other more yeah you guys need to try these ████ tacos their cheeseburgers underrated that'd be a pretty cool thing if it didn't exist already like a michelin star reviewer that's just constantly high it exists oh it does i don't know i'm sure somebody's already there i'm sure there's a blog out there we just have to search it up and we can find it so what does it take for someone high to not like what they're eating when the food is not good like i said it heightens whatever it is how bad the food is oh they had a bad
10:11 high that could happen but their choices aren't going to be good like they're not going to be high and see orange with like mold on and go um yeah that's true that's very true they're going to already go in the section where it's like they would in a dare commercial i think sometimes you'll eat like say you're you're faded and you're like building something up like oh i want to eat this and you go get it and it's underwhelming and you're like uh you'll be let down but you'll still enjoy it for the most part right you know but it's not like that bad just get over it just eat it you know it's not a big deal [Music] [Applause] [Music] you
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