0:00 [Music] Welcome back to Careful Boys. Today Oh, I was just trying to get pumped up. Oh, I love it. Love it. The knife helps, huh? Mhm. Today we're talking about if we got deported by Trump, where would we where would we want to live? Where where do That's a good Where do you think they would take me? Yeah, I think India. Yeah, El Salvador, dude. That would be so funny if they don't even know his country of origin. They go Burma. Yeah, Burma. Now they would send you back to Mexico for sure. Burma. Oh, Mexico not that bad. Asia. But what part? All of Asia. All of Asia. How does that work? No. Pick one. What's the airport you land on? Area. You land in one country. Just drive everywhere. Oh, that's cool. Out of everyone here though, you're the most likely to be deported. So, if Trump deports you and
0:50 then you go to Korea, it's your eyes, dude. What would you do? You crying, dude. What happened to your eyes? Did you give yourself pink eye again? I just rubbed it. They look crazy. ████ I'm telling it's irritated cuz there's sunscreen under it and I forgot to wash it off. Oh, that'll do it. Will you be like, "Hey, hey, I'm the president of illegals for Trump. Why the guys deporting me?" Mhm. And like And they're protecting your head while they put you in the car. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Right. Watch your head. What would you do if they sent you back to Korea? Sure you are. Of course you are. Korea. Yeah. What if they sent you back to Korea? Where would you drive? Join the military. the Korean one. Mhm. Damn. Cuz I would have to. When is it um too old to go to like that boot camp thing? Cuz everyone in Korea has to do it, right? 35 to 40, I think. Now, did you guys see the video that whatever country it is
1:40 where there's like a real huge flaming dude who's like basically like you have to walk up and you have to pick a card out and if you get a black Thailand, if you get a black card, you don't have to join the military at all. But if you get the other card, you have to you have to join right away. And he was like doing dances and they take turns picking their lottery to see. Yeah. And their family's watching. They're like, "Come on, come on, come on." And he's like, "Yeah, like ████ That s███'s a big moment, dude." But the guards and everybody are laughing. They know how it is. Yeah. That's great. It's interesting. What about um What about you? How are you safe? That's not fair. We got to send you somewhere. Why would I get deported? Going to ████ Hungary. You're going to Hungary. No, he goes to Germany, dude. Oh, Germany. Yeah. They're like, "We know you're from Mexico. I belong in Ireland. Bring me back to my people. I'm
2:31 not German." Dude, I You just saw my nieces and nephews. They're all ████ redheads. White, white, fairkinned red. Straight back to Germany. Until you have your own kid, you can't prove it. Damn it. You're starting the fourth Reich. Damn. As uh Hannah told me as an indigenous white, she's like, "Steve is so German." She's like, "He's she's like everyone in America." She's like, "Everyone in America thinks they're Irish. He doesn't even look Irish." I just was hanging out with my family literally the whole time. And I was making fun of how I was like, "Look at how every single one of my nieces and nephews is redhead." And I was like, "You wouldn't believe it cuz on Jake News like he's German. He's not even ████ English." Go like this. Go like this. Say one. One. Two. Two. Three. ████ Damn it. God ████ He knows. Show us your We'll know if it's authentic. Where does it start? Okay. And then it goes. I give you my heart, brother. Oh,
3:21 pretty low. Zig hy, dude. You better throw it nice and proud. Pretty low. It's a skull to be to me. I don't think Japan would be very bad. Huh? I don't think Japan would be that bad. Japan's awesome vacation destination. Dude, that would be great for you. You could buy one of those houses that are like 1,400 bucks. There's a lot of homes for free. It's like Italy now. No, but but if you get deported, you have like no funds or anything, right? Really? They take they seize everything you have. What are you going to get deported and they're just going to like give you money to start? But what if you say I came here with that? Hey, let me wire my ████ over here. But let me get my Bank of America. You guys got Bank of America? I'm pretty sure you can transfer. Let me see that. That's a good fact to know about. You guys take bed? I I don't know. I What do you think? Let's ask. What do you mean like do they drop you off with nothing? Do they I don't think they they like fly you and go bye-bye. But I'm just saying
4:12 like how does deportation really work? Well, they don't seize your bank account. You could still use your bank account, right? No. If you get deported from the US, it says it doesn't result in the seizure of your assets. You retain ownership of your property, vehicles, homes, bank accounts, investments even after Oh ████ Yeah, I'm going to Vietnam. My money because of the Constitution. Damn. My money will stretch in Vietnam. Yeah. Oh, but if you got it through unsavory means, it gets seized. Oh, they're getting it taken. It's pretty savory. Yeah. The way you do it is you're going to a ████ lithium camp, bro. Lithium Vietnamese cobalt mining. Kyle, Steve. No, dude. Irish, bud. My mom's made names. Do you have family in Vietnam? Yeah. So, you'll be kind of comfortable. Uh, I I would be
5:02 more quickly comfortable there than I would be in China. And also, just from the UEI UI experience, it China's so difficult. to just get in around user experience. That's what I told you. That's what I told you. It's just not user friendly, right? So like if you don't if you're not fluent in Chinese, it is so difficult to just hail a car to order food like you know whereas in Vietnam, even in Vietnam, there's still like essence of like Western culture, English, no VPN, need for internet, like do not do that to me. Do not do that to me. Yeah. It's just it's just more easy. And then of course I do have some family. Um and then uh I speak more Vietnamese than I do any Chinese by by a far stretch. Um and then I can still if I'm living in Vietnam, I can still go to
5:53 China and do work. So it's not like work opportunity is the reason why being importation sound pretty sweet. I feel like everyone here visits Japan every year. So I'll see you guys. I've never been there, but not one time. I haven't been there yet, but I'm going to. We're going. I have not been there. We're going this year. Just Well, you can't leave the country. Yep. I've heard the beaches there are actually cool. Beautiful. It's not that good. Really? It's all It's all gray. I don't know why. Well, Okinawa might be. Okinawa is chilled. Yeah. Vietnam beaches are pretty good. But you got hella ugly ass Russians everywhere. Oh, really? In Japan? No. Vietnam. Ugly ass Russians. We also have beautiful Vietnamese people there. Mhm. That's the better thing. That's a problem in Vietnam. Ugly ass Russians. Why is that a problem? Big problem. Dude, I haven't seen like hella ugly Russian. I was in Nachang or Daang, but it's like a vacation spot for for Russians. Korea is way more of a
6:45 vacation spot for Daen. I mean like all all Koreans go to Dang as if it was like u Bali. Yeah. Oh, but what my friend told me is like it's like the circus circus Russians go to this one beach. Circus circus circus Russians. What does that mean? There a bunch of zeny everywhere. They're not the win Russians. They're like the discount Russians. Oh, I see what you mean. cuz like the the the Wind Russians like they're heading out to like all these other places, right? Bali or whatever. So this specific stretch of land hella famous with there's like a Russian club, all that. We were walking down the beach and I was like, damn, I thought Russians were hot. Like everybody here is ████ ugly. Like like describe the features. What's an ugly? Were you just seeing dudes? Cuz I heard Russian women are hot as hell. What's an ugly? Oh, like it was babushkas and ████ fat uncles and
7:36 like it was just grandma's uncles. Like nobody like young and hot. Like everyone looks malnourished and ████ The girls look like too skinny where like they probably only ate beet soup all their life. No teeth. Like weird ████ No teeth, dude. Like I'm talking about third world Russians. Like dudes like ████ wearing panties all day. Like the speedos. They look like big ████ bears. That's some German ████ Yeah, speedos. But they're I was just walking around like what the ████ Like this is like discount Russian. How are they They have to have money to vacation. Yeah. I think that's why they go to this spot cuz it's like you know how like like I mean like trash Americans go to ████ that one lake like Havasu or whatever, right? But they're hot there. Yeah. No hot Russians there. Oh yeah. No, but I was shocked
8:27 though. There was no Vietnamese. Damn. It was just a No, it was just a sea of ugly Russians. Like ugly ones. I don't think we got the point yet. No, it was so bad. I never I never seen anything. Okay, Japan's cool for you to go bad, too. He's like, Anthony, Vietnam's going to suck. I'm going to drown in ugly Russians only. You're going to see nothing but a sea of disgusting Russians. How about in Japan? All your porno is going to be censored. Oh, got them. You're going to be so bummed out. Well, how will you survive over there? All these ████ are legal. Oh, yeah. Oh, dude. We got massage boom boom everywhere, baby. You know what I mean? It's not It's not legal though. In Vietnam, you go to Vietnam that jail. How common is that in Vietnam? Common.
9:17 So, it's totally You don't go to jail. He said you go to jail. What do you What do you usually say when you're there? When you're doing that, what do you usually say? You don't say. Do you get a receipt? Yeah. What is What's the experience like? I never done it. What do your friends say about it? Tell us the reviews. You should ask Joe. He like eats p████'s ████ promogi. If I wanted to go, what do I got to do? What do I got to say? Yeah. Yeah. You don't have to say anything. They literally outside your hotel. I'm interested. Massage. Boom. Boom. Oh, okay. I'm actually very much interested in the dessert and then you're just cutting. I heard you guys have a special dessert. The pineapple upside down sounds pretty good. Oh my god. Bush. He said it was totally fine. No, I rather I rather be deported to Vietnam. I really like Vietnam. I have I have friends there. So, cuz all the ugly Russians in Japan. Yeah. You made friends with him, huh? You better hope your ICE officers real racist then. I know, huh? Keep in touch, Joseph. He's like, "You look Vietnamese
10:08 to me, dude." Yeah. And I'm like, I am. I am. Take me there. No, man. Joseph. Yeah, man. I I would be screwed if I went to Philippines. Really? Why? I don't know. I just They would treat you like a god there. They're going to be like screw. I don't know, man. Weren't you just there? Yeah. You didn't fall in love and go like No, I love it. I love Philippines very much, but I don't I don't think um Yeah, I just a lot I'm so ████ American. I know I look Indian, but I'm a very American guy. I'm so raised extremely American. Like I'm glad you he knows he looks Indian. Yeah. Thank god. You have hella family there, too, right? I have a s███████ of family. Yeah. But I think just in terms of adapting to it, I don't think I could do it. You would be miserable. Probably not wedding. I think I would. I I think I love visiting and I love appreciating it, but it's just not my environment. Well, we're talking about being deported, not going on vacation. Well, that's why I wouldn't be able to do it. I would have to commit suicide.
10:59 Duh. That wedding party you guys had out there. How many of them were local? 150 people came from here. Damn. Cuz that was pretty big from here. Yeah. From Chad's wedding, my my cousin. Yeah. 150 people. I think I'd be deported to Orlando, Florida. Just back to the States. point of those are but Montana because Oregon. Yeah, because deportation is supposedly like something you don't want to do. Where where in America are you like damn I can't please don't take me there. No in America probably West Virginia. Which Kansas City would you want to be deported to? Missouri. All right. You can't beat me. They probably send you to Bosnia or something. Bosnia? Yeah. Yo, what if that happened? Like you're like Jokic. Get over there. Yeah, get over there. What if like the US goes into a civil war, right? And then they're like, "Oh, you ████ Californians. We hate
11:50 you guys." And then all like we get kicked out of Nevada. We have to go back to California. That would suck. That would suck. Getting deported to California would be the worst. Getting deported to California. They they sent you to California, dude. I got family in California. They're like, "You're going back to LA." I'm like, "Oh, f███." It's funny cuz they could just walk you. They just right past prim. just push you over. Never come back. They drop you at the border like 511 North Kenmore. Yep. You're going back to Ktown, buddy. Yo, which address do you hate the most past residences? What about you? They look at you and they just send you straight to China. Yeah, they'll send me to China. Not Singapore. They'll send you Singapore, dude. Singapore not going to take my ass. They're going to say the same thing. Singapore. Being deported to Singapore is like winning the lottery. Singapore is sick. They wouldn't take me. They're like, "Oh, you don't have a million dollars in your bank account.
12:40 Sorry, dude." What about Taiwan? They might send me to ████ El Salvador. Honestly, they might send me to the jail. You're like, you're like your MS13. Oh, no. Dude, Taiwan would be great. China be probably pretty sweet. China, too. Yeah, cuz I'm Chinese, dude. I look like everyone over there. I'd be fine. You think you look like everyone in China? Dude, I think so. No way. If I grew my hair out, you wouldn't even He looks like a Chinese. Try it. Do it. No, not the way you have your face, though. Hey, Chinese guy. Your expressions are totally American. You're such an American, dude. You can't even handle it. American. I like how he always has to take off his hat. They don't wear hats in China. They don't. I don't like wearing hats. It gives me a headache. Oh, I love it. Gives me a ████ headache. Hey, wear this. You'll be cooler. Wa! You're so cool. That hat really brings out your ears. What the ████
13:30 dude? Why would you say that to me right now? You guys want to roll? I don't sound like that, dude. I don't ask people to roll all the time. Okay. Is this an American thing? What? Like this style? It's a baseball thing. Yeah. Well, America's baseball. That's what I'm saying. No, I I just real No, when you when you bring that back because you said China don't wear it, right? I don't really actually see a lot of people outside of the States. Helic people in China definitely wear hats. But no, they do it for American culture fashion. They wear the ones with the Yeah, they do. That's why they got new eras and ████ They opened the MLB season in in Tokyo. Wow. That's so sick. cuz uh what's the name? Show money. Baseball has been saved, but at what cost? Yeah, a lot of money. But isn't it just like US Puerto Ricans and Japanese and Koreans that play it? Like nobody else actually plays baseball. People from the Dominican too. Dominican
14:20 Republic. Japanese play baseball and they're really good at it. He literally said that. I think they biggest exporter. You anyone watch baseball? Uh I watch mostly playoffs cuz I heard that they play it or the rules are slightly different in Asia than the States. I think they are. Yeah. Okay, cuz like hot dogs are cheaper. Hey, not bad. I watched this movie. I forgot what it was, but then they were watching a Japanese baseball game and then it happened hella quick and they're like, "What? The game was so fast." Still not it, huh? Maybe it was Chvy Chase or some ████ Major leagues in in general got faster because they they started having a pitch count that the the clock changed everything. Yeah. Made it way more watchable. Yeah. It's way better now. It would take so ████ long. It was a couple years ago, dude. I could never stay awake at a baseball game, bro. It was rough cuz my my father-in-law is obsessed with baseball and so every time I'm over there I have
15:10 to like dial I have to lock in and then now with the pitch counter it's so much easier. So you don't have 30 minutes of a guy ████ chewing gum and like thinking about how he's going to pitch the ball and digging his ████ foot on the mound and ████ like that. They can't do all that. They got to they got to keep it moving. Most I think most things is just so easy to consume just on video than it is being there. I went to Red Bull Fluke where they fly the funny funny contraptions off the dock. Yeah, they take so goddamn long between ████ things. You're standing there for like 20 minutes just waiting. Same with NH, like even though that's like hot rods at the highest level with the most strength and power, you got to wait so freaking long between runs. That ████ sucks. So baseball getting rid of that, putting that timer clock in, smart. And with video, you get the best seats of the house. Yeah, cuz like with video
16:00 you're like Mhm. It's best angle. You're not like looking in a binocular and ████ That's true. Yeah. Isn't it Wasn't this supposed to be just like like having fun getting beers and hot dogs? It's an American tradition. Yeah. Which is why I always fell asleep because I'd be like two hot dogs in and like six beers and then and it's just like only the bottom of the fifth and you're in the sun. You're sitting in the sun just getting beat by the one of the best reasons to go to games is the energy of everyone else like contagious. I love that. I actually love live baseball. When I saw Formula 1 live, I was like, I understand why this is live and and like the TV's boring. Cuz like Yeah, but the car passes you one lap and you're like, where the cars go? Got to look at the TV again. Yeah. Is that how you were? Yeah, you were. No, we were in a hotel room and we're watching the TV and they're like, "It's
16:51 going to come. It's going to come." And then we go out the balcony and it goes and we're like, "Oh s███." Dangerous looking, dude. Yeah, dude. The coolest thing is that they have that camera thing where you can pick which cockpit to see the POV in. You switch. One of the That's probably one of the best reasons to go to a race is to get the sheer sense of how ████ fast those guys. That's I never knew how ████ fast. And then next time you watch on TV, you're like these guys could be your ████ legit. Don't these guys do neck exercises just cuz they have to be able they have to move like a ████ hummingbird and the G forces when you turn or something. neck has to resist all and the reaction time is like what is it? It's like almost the same as like a home run hit coming at the pitcher and he catches it. It's like that's reaction time. They have to be so locked in. And they're also just sweating buckets and they're they're just peeing as they drive. Are they really? I believe you. And pooping too.
17:42 They have a G-ag or something. Yeah. Yeah. And they're like they're like, "Oh ████ my Joe Rogan podcast is ads. ████ Hang on. Let me I got to move." ████ I hate this part. 15 seconds. 15 seconds.
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