0:00 So good. Yeah, tell it to Dude, I'm telling you we have a bunch of like little kids who are like, "Uncle Steve, what are you doing?" "Why you talking this way, Uncle Steve?" >> They're all redheaded leprechauns. Don't you know you're German? >> Welcome back to Careful Boys. Today we're going to talk about baseball. >> Baseball. >> Okay. Uh so, not really. Check this out. So, this is a Pittsburgh Pirates game. And pay attention back here. >> What >> What the >> Her dude's doing that? >> What the >> He does it the >> Oh my god. >> Dude, that's how you know he's doing it the happy couple way where it's like so over the top. >> jiggling the ████ out of it. >> Cuz he's doing it that way, right? >> Yeah, dude. >> And she's just laughing.
0:51 >> Yeah, she's digging it. >> What I wonder what she said right there. What she say right there? Like, >> "Stop it." >> "What are you doing?" >> Dude, that is so funny. >> That's crazy. >> Is that over the shirt? >> Yeah, it's over the shirt. Yeah. >> That's like first 3 months of dating, I think. >> Right? That's like QT like >> QT honeymoon phase of a relationship. >> like pokey, dude. I love it. That's funny. >> That's crazy. >> Oh. >> Cuz you also don't think you're going to get caught cuz you're in this giant stadium, millions of people in here. You're just grabbing some titty. >> Why are titties so good though? >> Brother, I I I We could do a 2-hour podcast. >> It's a magnetic It's so magnetic. >> Yeah, tell me about it. >> It's so electrifying. You touch it and it feels like there's a sack of gold in your hands. >> I've been mesmerized by titties since I was like 4. >> I can't get bored of them. >> I remember buying kindergarten and kindergarten the teacher was busted, old, and ugly. And she was scolding me
1:43 for something so she bent down and then her ████ shirt went like this and I was just like >> I didn't know they jiggle so >> I don't even remember what I got in trouble for. I was just staring at brown titties. >> Dude, my teacher in middle school, Miss Texiera in math, ████ absolutely busty ass ████ >> What? >> Busty as can be and she used to wear tight ████ >> She did on purpose. >> She can't keep those things down, I think. She could have been wearing ████ sweaters and it wouldn't matter. >> Yeah. >> Yeah, it was like that. Like ever since then I was like titties are ████ incredible. Cuz nobody in my school had titties but her, so it was like out of control. >> If it weren't for titties, I'd probably be gay. >> Oh, yeah. I'd be I'd be sucking dicks all >> I probably would have turned out gay. There probably wouldn't been enough to keep me as a hetero. >> Same. >> Is it gay if you suck on a ladyboy's titty? I just don't want to travel that far. >> Did you know she was a ████
2:33 >> Probably. >> Oh, you did? >> Yeah, because she goes, "I'm ████ I'm not boy. I'm not gay. I'm ladyboy." >> I love how they I love having my titties sucked on. Oh, wow. You're so feminine. >> That sounds like the Janet Reno Will Ferrell guy. >> Exactly. Exactly. No, so is this like messed up to do in public? Like is this like kind of cuz there's kids there, people. So >> Yeah, I see. Okay. >> A bunch of Karens online were saying like this is kind of messed >> Inappropriate. >> because yeah. >> But you know, if my kids saw that, I'd be like, "That's what real love looks like." Yeah, you shake the ████ out of your girlfriend's titties. Yeah, that's better than seeing a couple argue. >> What if you saw What if that was your daughter and you saw that? >> Holy ████ dude. I god. >> I'd kill that guy, brother.
3:24 >> Run. >> King style. >> No, I think like I would I mean hopefully they're ████ solid as a couple, but if it's like a first date, holy ████ >> Yeah, I don't know. If my daughter was horny, I'd be like, "F███ my genetics, dude." >> Yeah, she's horny cuz I was horny. >> I mean, no matter what, if you have a daughter, some dude is going to do that to her eventually, but not if she's flat. So I hope she's flat. >> But the cool thing is that like if they're like if they're together, right? That is what it looks like when you're together and you're just horse playing and having fun and and it's love. It's love. >> Even when they're flat it's happening. It's going to be less, but >> Don't you We all did that publicly? >> That's not good if that's just her homie. >> Yeah. >> Like imagine if that's your daughter and that's just someone she said is her friend. That would >> That's her gay best friend. >> Oh my god.
4:14 >> Oh my god, how come your titties are big? >> He's a ████ big girl. >> But he's doing it so hard. >> So hard. >> Like the public version of that shouldn't look that hard. That's kind of too much. >> amount of joy he's getting out of that >> And she's laughing like >> He looks blind. What if he's blind? >> Is it sad that this guy worked really hard at baseball and we don't even care about it? >> All because of one rack focus. >> I just care about that. I'm like, man, that guy is living the life back there. I don't know, dude, like cuz I'll be I'll be grabbing Nikki's ass at like her parents' house and then I realize like that's kind of crazy to do with her dad around, but he doesn't really give a ████ >> Are there like little kids running around too or no? >> Yeah, because you're married, that's different, you know. >> I think mainly the main weird thing is just having kids seeing it. >> Yeah. >> Cuz it's kind of sexual, right? >> Yeah, yeah, you know. >> I sympathize with that, yeah. >> Yeah, you don't want them asking like
5:04 what's that about or worse yet assuming what it is and never asking at all. >> Or just seeing it and thinking it's okay to do that to girls like willy-nilly. >> True. That's true. >> Yeah, cuz then they might go to a go to recess and do some crazy ████ >> Yeah, cuz that is kids. They just see it once and then over, right? >> I can't even say the F bomb around my around my buddy Ryan's kid anymore cuz she'll start saying it. >> They like copy? >> Yeah, she'll start saying it. She'll just start saying Yeah. >> Hey, dude, that sucks, yeah. >> I watched Philip Rivers throw an interception, I'm like, ████ And then she immediately goes, ████ And I'm like, oh god, I oh ████ >> And then actually goes, oh god, oh ████ God, ████ Oh god, oh ████ yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. >> That's tough. >> I do not think I'm going to be a responsible parent cuz I love seeing kids ████ cuss. >> It's the best. >> It's hilarious.
5:54 >> Or just tell them that, you know, I'm going to cuss, but you can't. >> Yeah. >> That's what we do. And then that's why I I actually really our my favorite part of our safe space is when Tyga goes, "Can I have a safe space?" So he can say some crazy ████ And I'm so excited. >> What does he say? >> What does he say? Is he like ████ >> No, what's cool is So this is what's so sweet and innocent about him. I think because we actually do cuss and we don't make it a like a taboo thing, they just know we just these type of words are just going to coexist in this world. You just use it appropriately or or or inappropriately. He'll be like, "Can I have a safe space?" I'm like, "Sure." He goes, "I I was going to tell him like, what's that crap?" Cuz he thinks crap is such a bad word. Yeah, so it's so it's so sweet and innocent, you know. I'm like I'm like in my mind I'm like, "You didn't even have to use a safe
6:44 space for that, but that's >> Does he know the the Spanish cuss words, too? Is he not allowed to say those things, too? Like does he understand? >> Um some of them. >> Puta. >> No, he'll know like what's the stuff that Gio The stuff that Gio says if it's like long phrases. >> Oh. >> So he can't even really like like say it. >> Right, right. >> Yeah, but yeah, to him even ass is a bad bad word. >> That is Yeah, well, to that is a bad word for kids. >> My brother, his kids are almost Amish people because they're all like on a farm in Missouri and they're all like raised that way. And like so though I'll hang out with his kiddos and the whole time there's like, "Uncle Steve." Like it's like that. >> What do you say? >> I'm just saying like ████ and like ass, you know, and like ████ >> And is it your brother getting pissed? >> No, my brother knows me, so there's no
7:35 way it's going to stop. But I try I do try, but if I'm watching a sports anything, it's just over. >> to come out of you. >> yeah, yeah, But the kids are regulating you. >> Yes. Uncle Steve, that's a bad word. >> Yeah, my little nephew regulated me hard. He's a little red-headed white kid, too. So, you just want to smack the ████ >> Oh, no. >> But, you know, my brother's there, so it's all like it's all good. And I'm like, "Dude, I will remember this ████ I will remember." >> end up a red-headed white kid? >> Oh, uh it's because No, I'm German. I'm ████ German. Like Hannah said, I'm German. So, I'm German. >> There's no way you're German. >> No, every single person on my in my family is red-headed. Like not my bro not my brother Nate and not my brother Kenny, but my sister's a strawberry blonde cuz she's got that red in there. And then, yeah, my my uh my brother had all red-headed kids.
8:26 So, cuz yeah, it all just skipped me and >> That's incredible. >> Yeah, yeah. So, we're Irish. >> You might be Scandinavian. >> No, you might be German. I'm probably just German. I'm probably just a Nazi. Yeah, I'm just a full-blown Nazi. >> She says you're too big to be Irish. >> Yeah, so good. Yeah, tell it to Dude, I'm telling you, we have a bunch of like little kids who are like, "Uncle Steve, how are you doing?" "Why you talking this way, Uncle Steve?" >> They're all red-headed leprechauns. >> "Don't you know you're German?" >> It's the best. >> Don't you know you're >> But, getting motorbike kid, by the way, and knowing that you're wrong is embarrassing. >> Oh, yeah. >> Because I know I'm not supposed to be swearing around a kid. Like I am guilty. I'm a guilty Catholic ████ so I get it, but it's just tough. >> My kid loves swear words, man. We'll be like uh one of the games we play these days is just like a rhyming game.
9:16 >> Mhm. >> So, I have to say a sentence, and then he has to rhyme that word. >> Uh-huh. >> And then, so it'll be like, um I'm sitting in class like on my ass or something, right? And I know ass is already going to get uh reactions. I'm like, "On my" and I go "ass." And he'll look at me like It is just us two in the car. But, I knew he would ████ he's not a racist. yeah, I knew you would like it. That's good. >> Yeah. >> Sometimes my dad says bad words around me. And like, that's sick. >> If Tyco's like, I need to say space, and then he's like, I kind of hate Gavin Newsom. >> Yeah. You going to cry? >> Start crying, give him a big a big hug. I thought you were going to say, can I have safe space? >> I don't think he's ready for that if he thinks that ass is tough. >> Yeah, that's ████ private equity.
10:07 Wow. Interesting. >> I mean, so far I just know he doesn't like Kamala. >> Oh, why not? >> I don't know. We drove by a billboard and he saw Kamala. She ruined cities. >> He freaking Kids are good at those intuitions. >> Yeah, the our >> They're like dogs. They know if people are good or not. >> Yeah, somehow yeah, that's crazy. >> It's not behavioral taught by the parent. >> Yeah, sometimes they see ghosts, sometimes they see Kamala, they know. >> That's not what me and Jill talk about. >> Right. What's the craziest thing he said to you in a safe space? >> The craziest? Oh, man. I don't I don't think it was language-based. It was probably like something he did or something. >> Oh, he ate a lizard. >> He ate a lizard. No, like I don't know, maybe probably something he like like oh, you like oh, you did you hear about that story at school?
10:58 Yeah, I was the one that filled up the kids' backpack with water or something like that. Like some something that he did. >> of a crime. Okay. >> I like. It's not bad words. Yeah. >> Are you kind of proud of him because at his age you were doing way crazier ████ >> Um I'm proud of him for a couple things. One thing is he's really honest. And that was something that the whole reason why we created the safe space, so that like he feel like he can be honest. So, like he'll like uh like let's say uh he's supposed to get spanked or something cuz he messed up. But then we take him after school, he goes to soccer game, and he does really good. So, we're all in a happy mood, you know, and we go home, and he's like, "Aren't you guys supposed to spank me?" >> Oh. >> I'm like, like every other kid it'll be like every other kid would be like, "F███ yeah, I got away with it." Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. And I'm like, "Aw, that's so ████ sweet, you know." >> He does sabotage himself. I remember
11:51 eating lunch with them, and he goes, "Oh, can I get a Sprite?" And Bart's like, um he gets the waiter, "Hey, can I can I get one Sprite or whatever?" And then she's like, "Sure." And and then Taika in the middle is like, "Wait, I already had one this week." So, he he's so honest. He was right about to get a Sprite, but he's only allowed one soda a week or some ████ like that. So, he's like, "All right, I can't have it." I'm like, "Bro, you were about to have it." >> What kid does that, you know? So, I'm like, so that part I really really enjoy. >> very honest, yeah. >> Oh, I forgot. >> Oh, man. >> have just went with it. I would have got the Sprite. I'm like, I'm not even paying attention. I'm talking to Joe. Sprite would have came. This would have been like the perfect time where you're like, "Oh, cool, my parents are preoccupied. I could get whatever I want." >> He is so honest. >> I already had it.
12:42 >> I feel like all a lot of kids would have just been like, "Haha, how many times can I do this?" >> Rack it up. My I was at my brother's wedding, and uh my my niece Amelia, cuz everyone's from the ████ Crucible in my family. >> Those are the names, wow. >> Yeah, um she goes up to my brother Kenny, and she's she's like, "I have to tell you a secret." And then Kenny's like leans down, and she's like, "Uncle Steve says really bad words." >> Oh my god, dude. >> But she didn't feel comfortable enough to say it around me. She just wanted like to warn him. Like, be careful. Yeah, you got to watch out. >> Watch out. That ████ potty mouth heathen over there. >> Oh, man. >> It's always cuz you're when you're watching sports around them? >> That was I was just at a wedding, and I was looking at my wife's ass. I was like, look at that ████ ass. >> Shut up.
13:32 >> That's what happened cuz cuz I was like I was taking a picture of her and then I was like, turn to the side and I was like, look at that ████ ass. And I didn't realize that she was right there. >> And then the little kids like, "Uncle Steve." >> Yeah. And then no, she gasped and then went to my brother but like tapped on his shoulder and he like bent down, knelt down and like and then he told me what she said. >> So how does your brother explain to her like how what does he say to her after she says that? >> He's like, "Some people are not God's children." "Some people aren't going to the good place with us." I have no idea. I have >> It's going to go straight to hell. >> Some of Lucifer's angels became human. >> All I'll say is that everyone in my whole family talks like I do. Cuz we're all raised under the same >> Oh, so it's not just you. >> Oh, but my brother cleans it up around his kid. And my brother Nate was awake for like
14:24 cuz it was his wedding. So he's doing photos and ████ but he talks like I do, too. >> Your vet sister, too? >> Oh, yeah. My sister's got a filthy ████ mouth. >> Especially when you guys are sleeping together. >> Yes, sir. Especially when I'm whispering in her ear, brother. I told you my sister does Botox. She's hot.
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