0:00 Yeah. Dude, Bart and Taika can never be brought into generalized conversation topics. That's true. They're anomalies. He's so soft with that kid. He can't lay down no laws. This is what I do it for. Right there. Welcome back to Careful Boys. Today we're Today we are debating what Asians absolutely cannot do. Asians? Asians can't do. Have big Come on, man. Prove it. Quick one. Yeah. Save that for the end of the video. Yeah, literally measured it last night. What did you get? What did you get? What did you get? Flaccid or hard? Or are they the same? So, soft three. Soft three? Hard five and a half. Let's go. That's not bad. We up, boys. That's like totally average, isn't it? Were you like really working that thing to make sure you could hit Had to be full potential. Full potential? I even went all the way up the curve in
0:50 there. That means you took the ruler and you're pushing in into the base of it. to get really trying to get that extension. I got to lose some weight. Push a inch into your fupa. I don't know what's going on, but yeah. Yeah. That's tight. When it's really, really cold though, how how big is it soft? When it's cold? Like super cold. I'm a ████ little turtle shell like hiding in his neck, bro. That ████ gone. That ████ disappears. All right, what are the things that Asians I would say that I don't think a lot I don't know about all of them. I don't I honestly don't think a lot of Asians can rap without making it sound like they're joking. I think that about girls. They can't rap? Is that bad? No, no, every time I hear girls rapping, I'm like, "Oh, they're doing a good It's like a good impression of a rapper." How you mocks? How you mocks? You ever seen that Iggy Azalea one? No. You ever seen that you were doing an Asian rapper. No, there's a Iggy Azalea clip where she's like uh like on a festival stage and she's like, "I'm going to drop a
1:40 freestyle." And she starts saying this ████ uh It's like somebody else's like rap. The whole thing, but it's like it sounds like she misunderstood some of the words. So, she just jacked somebody else's rap and and says it's a freestyle. Yeah. What in the flow crack rock like bam bam? Have two grams, ████ pay your blah blah ████ I had a black camera and dip that killer cam ████ YOU GUYS REMEMBER ASIAN RAP BOX? IT MIGHT HAVE BEEN WAS IT CONFIRMED? CONFIRMED? OH, YEAH. It's like a known joke. Oh, ████ I forgot whose it was. It might have been Kendrick's or somebody's, but she It's the one where she goes, "Tie your mocks. Tie your mocks." What? Oh, dude, it's funny as ████ Yeah. Do you guys Do you guys remember asianraps.com? Mhm. No. That's where Jin and all those guys Like it's old school. asianraps.com is where all the OG Asian rappers were on.
2:32 90 like 5% of the artists, they couldn't be on beat. So, I'm thinking of I'm when I say Asian rappers, I'm not talking about Asian-American rappers. I'm talking about rappers in Asia. The guys that like once it comes to the rap part, are like And they like make their voice all low and weird. And they sound like a parody of rappers. Interesting. Not like the guys that grew up here, and that's their their folk, but like I'm talking about that ████ Where it's just like, "Are you ████ kidding, dude? What How could you like possibly Like they're just like creating a whole thing. Mhm. I don't think of like Asian rappers, and I can't The only one I can think of is that dude that I was on the What Asian song is that? Stallion song. You know what I'm talking about? What Asian song is that? Is that Tyga? No. Japanese dude. Oh, the uh the uh Uh okay, uh uh uh the What's that song? That song.
3:23 What song is that? I've seen Asians with blue eyes usually it's a like a convention. Oh, yeah, yeah. They always have contacts. Or they're doing some anime cosplay. I think Asians also have a problem with being okay with how they were ████ born. I think there's a lot of that ████ A lot of Asian countries are like leading in plastic surgery, being like totally normalized in the culture. That's crazy, huh? Yeah. Korea, mostly. Yeah. I know what Asians don't have also. Big dicks. No. Smelly smelliest body odor. Yeah, yeah. No BO. No BO. That's true. It's a blessing, for sure. they can't they can't stink. Yeah, I mean, there's no mustiness really or or there's no like, you know, white people smell like onions when they're ████ sweating ████ That ████ got to go. You really learn that in jujitsu. Yeah. Uh absolutely. Yo, man. There's this one guy at the
4:13 gym. He smells so ████ bad. Yeah. Which one? Uh 24. Every time I see him and he got like rainbow shoes. He loves his rainbow shoes. Everyone around him, you can see their faces going like this. And he doesn't even know he stinks. And it's Why is it always like that? He takes a shower and all that, but then he smells like ████ Band-Aid. You know when it you you smell the pus in the Band-Aid? Oh, come on. Why you got to go that far? Yeah. No, but he looks clean. Like he Yeah, he showers at the gym, everything, but it's just natural odor. He smells like ████ Band-Aid pus. If he put like a ton of Right Guard, it wouldn't help it? I don't know, man, but every time he's working out, like he could be on the next rack and you can smell him. And you're like, ████ It's strong, dude. That like don't go to public gym anymore, dude.
5:03 I don't even think he knows he stinks. Garage gym, though. He's got no idea. Yeah. He's got no ████ idea. So, Nick, what would you do if someone always came in stank as ████ We'd have a conversation with them. We tell We make it First, we make announcements to the gym as a whole. You go, "Who stinks?" Remember to shower. It's good to shower. Cuz we have to do We have to do like reminders all the time. Like, "Hey guys, when you guys come to class, make sure your gees are washed. Yeah. You buy multiple gees. You don't keep reusing the same gee over and over and over again. Make sure you cut your nails. Like, we have to have those conversations Um cuz, you know, we want we want everyone to smell nice. Yeah. But some guys, you have to pull aside and be like, "Hey, man. We've had to tell some guys like, "Throw this gee away. Yeah. This gee's donezo." How many times have you had to say you cannot come back here? We haven't had We haven't had to say that, but we'll just tell them like,
5:54 "Hey, even even if they're getting like boners on girls when they're rolling with them? Cuz that that has to happen. That happens? Yeah, they usually find their way out. We kick them out eventually. Really? Not eventually. Are the girls ever like, "Hey, dude, the guy just popped a boner in my next on my thigh." Uh we've had That's inevitable, isn't it? We've had stories where we kicked the guy out and then somebody told us about that after. Oh, that's nice. Cuz I usually do for the guys, but when the girls it makes me limp. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, so it's kind of weird. So, that's why, you know, that's why we have all ladies class that does very well. That makes sense. All the ladies like training with each other. Mhm. It's good, good, good, good. Well, like if they want to like be in a more realistic situation Then they can train with the dudes, yeah, for Got it. But that's like their prerogative. Yeah, it's up to them. And then they have to deal with what
6:44 happens in real life sometimes. No. the guy that had a boner in his face? He had a boner in his face. Yeah, I got it. What if the boner guy was like, "Hey, dude, I'm just trying to make it as realistic as possible, cuz that will be the fifth limb that's attacking you. This will be a situation that you are dealing with." Yeah, and then they go And they go like, "Can I get your phone number?" I'm glad my jiu-jitsu is really good. I can keep this guy off me. Boom. And they're like, "Problem solved." Any Did you have any boners? Boners What is What I was doing junior karate? Oh, yeah. Junior karate. The prompt that you yourself administered. What What is Which prompt is that? Debating what Asians absolutely cannot do? Yeah, do you Is there something that you think? I think it'd be more interesting if you give us Waste money, like that one. Thai. I know how to waste money. You do actually know how to waste money. I just flush it down the toilet. No, I feel like you guys always do like, you know, your Asian topics, so it's
7:34 like Boom, there you go. Boom, Asian topics. But it happens naturally. It happens naturally. Yeah, yeah. What do you think? not It doesn't come that naturally, dude. Which ones do you think that are Which ones do I think about Asians particularly? Yeah. You're prompt. Yeah, yeah, yeah. You're prompt. Why don't you lead it? I think I think you guys like do pretty well in a lot of things. So, it's going to I'm kind of That's why it's kind of fascinating. safe. You don't have any that you don't Every kid that I knew in school that was Asian was like a crushing it at like at grades and stuff like that. I think that you know, I haven't I didn't and I always saw like Asian dance crew kids everywhere all over the place. Really? They would always do assemblies and stuff like that. So, the Asians in my school particularly at Rancho Bernardo High were always seen as like they're cool. It Is that when you were like, "F██████ dancers, dude." That started it, yeah. It started So, it it started from a seed
8:24 of jealousy. Um no, it was more like like why do we have to watch this? Yeah. And you were like, "How come I can't beat those kids up?" Jealousy. How come I legally can't attack you? Why isn't this legal for me? No, I really genuinely was like, "Why do we have to watch them do this Asian dance crew s███?" I genuinely was like that. What's what's one What's some stereotypes or whatever that you thought about, but then when you started actually having Asian friends, they were actually true or false? Mhm, that's a good one. I didn't have Asian friends. But now you do. No, no, but now though. We're talking about now. Yeah, you're kind of like, "Man, I I I heard you guys ate dog, and I met you, and you actually do." I was See, cuz in my neighborhood as a child, there was around Asian people. So, it wasn't like I never got to think that all the all the stupid stereotypes Oh, that would have been so fun. That's true. Yeah. I thought you guys all were like
9:14 Chinese spies, but I realized it's only some of you. Well, all that stuff is born out of ignorance because you're you have no You're so far from that. Yeah. You have nothing else to go on. Right. Be honest, have you ever done this? Oh, yeah. Did you do the Stanley? Every single day and every night. No, I did it We did it in school, you know what I mean? Like like to each other. Did you ever say uh me Chinese, me play joke? Me put peepee in your Coke. Of course, man. A million times. Hey, you're one of us. Speaking of. Aw, Nick. Got you. Uh I I do think that Asian people, even Asian Americans, have It seems like they do they are skewed towards having a harder time being accepted socially. And that I think comes from the habits their parents put in them of just like the most important thing is school. So, then you just end up falling behind in
10:05 how to connect with people. They sort of become like diet home school kids. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, exactly. That's a great way of putting it. Yeah, that's a great way of like home school kids that are not at home. Yeah. Yeah, and I and not that I think that's like a I don't think it's a genetic I think it's really like a household like a way you're raised, but then because of that that's why you have so many like like the stereotype of a the Asian guy is the quiet person all they care about is homework. Which is like that's a true one. There's one in every ████ class. They all they care about is what? Homework. Like it's just that kid like you can even go to like a bad school in a ████ district and they have a kid like that. And he's the one that's skewing the bell for everybody. Dude, the kids who it was it wasn't I don't remember it being Asian kids in my particular school, but I remember the kids who were like are we getting homework? And you're like are you ████ kidding me, dude? Oh my god, really? Yeah. Oh, yeah, yeah. Oh, teacher, you forgot to give us homework. Traitors, yeah. They they just they loved homework.
10:56 But I think that's a good one for like what Asians can't do. I think some of them truly cannot walk into a room and just meet people. Like some of them are are like debilitated by that. That's what I think this guy I can't I can't talk to people when I walk in a room. I do hate people. But you know what I mean? Like this guy doesn't have that problem. Or did you always Did you have that problem? I think that's different because Growing up, yeah? Yeah, for sure. I think we all did. When you're awkward as a teenager. I think the example when you watch I think in the '90s all the kids on TV were like cool white kids. If you're a white kid, you can like base your personality on that. When you don't see that, you don't think like it's hard to like find That's why it's important to have like to see yourself in ████ You know that whole representation thing? That's That's kind of I think that's legit ████ Like cuz in my mind I'm trying to be like ████ one of the three kids from Home Improvement when I'm trying to be cool. Yeah. But I'm not think Until Dante came
11:46 along, I didn't really have a Oh, true. Very true. But then he got He got He got murked. Killed by Hook. You were like, "Damn, I don't know." No representation. I just think that I think the numbers are more skewed towards Asians being a little more like like a What is it? reserved Yeah, absolutely. like they're not as like They're not the class clown a lot of the time. I do think that like, you know, I remember the '90s like every single kid in my class wanted to be Michael Jordan. And I don't think that we all were like, "I can't be Michael Jordan because I'm a white kid or I'm whatever kid." I think we all just like wanted to be Michael Jordan. It was propaganda. Be like Mike commercials everywhere. It was all propaganda. Well, now you can't. Now you definitely My mom reinforced it for me. She was like, "You can't play basketball. You're not a black kid." You know what Asians can't do? Asians can't call their parents by their first names. Oh my god. That's unthinkable. Holy ████ You ever see any of your white friends do that? No, no. Taika does it to Bart, though.
12:37 Yeah, Taika does it to Bart. He's half He's only half He's half Mexican. He just goes, "Bart." No, he he says the full name, "Mr. Bart Quan." I don't think that's a white people thing. I think it's just bad parents. There's a video There's a video of Bart picking him up from school and Taika's walking out school going, "Hey, Bart Quan." Kid's such a troll. I would've got my ass chased all the way up the stairs getting ████ slapped the whole way up if I called my mom Sherry. I would be killed. Yeah. Dude, Bart and Taika can never be brought into generalized conversation talk. Oh, you're right. My bad. That's true. They're anomalies. He's so soft with that kid. He can't lay down no laws. Oh dude, I also think Asians can't easily tell their kids they love them. Oh, that's a good one. Yeah. Not not verbally. Not dads. Not dads. Yeah, with actions and things like that. Moms can. I've seen that with pretty uniform with you guys, for sure. Yeah, yeah, yeah. That's a pretty weird one. It's a weird one. Well, that's what I'm starting to do it now. I'm like forcing
13:28 it. I'm forcing myself to say I love you. Forcing I don't really love you but I ████ got to say it. Subi, is it is it hard genuinely is it hard? Yeah, it is. Like the only time I say it's easy is like maybe my you know my wife. I just say love you babe. But it's like your dad has your dad been like I love you? ████ no. Wouldn't that weird you out if he did it today? If my dad did that today? ████ yeah. I'd look at him like what the ████ wrong with you man? Hey, if my dad did that today I'd be like ████ do you have cancer? Are you are you dying? I would be I would also say that yeah. For sure. I'd be like what happened to you? One time I said to my dad on the phone he was like all right then. You said it to him? I was like all right man I love you dude. My dad still hugs me like this. He goes And he's like Yeah, it's open air. What's going on in there you think? It's just how their dads were in Asia. Yeah, it's just a ████ thing. They
14:18 they just they have that it's awkward. It's too awkward. Do you do you guys hug in your families? That's the hug I get. Yeah, right. I forced a hug on my mom. But Yeah. I forced it. Was it their generation though that started like hugging and trying it out? Like is it a Filipino thing is what I'm saying? Like before like your grandparents cuz like hugging didn't really exist for us. Nobody hugged in my family. I think it's not even like cultural it's just the rate of abuse was just so high the generation before us. Mhm. Yeah, my dad does not do like a proactive arm movement hug thing. It's like a like forced to accept it from me because I've just been doing it so much. Got it. Cuz I'm always like all right I love you dad and I know that like I'm saying something that's like For real? Yeah, it's cringy. So it's it's easier for him to just accept it and go haha okay. That's what my dad says. He goes okay. Okay. Was that Vietnamese culture to hug?
15:08 Calm down. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I'm going to see you tomorrow. Like love you dad. I mean you do it with your mom. Chill out. Chill out. But in Vietnam is it normal to greet each other with a hug? I'm sure human beings do it. I know people hug but like It's it's kind of like this. Dude, my dad hugs I've seen it before. Italians kiss when they meet, right? That's normal. Like Italians kiss when they meet, that's normal for them. But then like hugging's a new concept in Asia. Like you hug your kids, but you don't hug strangers when you greet them. Yeah. So like but I don't know cuz Philippines has Spain influence, right? So I'm like Oh, they're normal. It's just from father to son. Yeah, I think the second you become a dad, you're not allowed to do certain things. My dad will hug all the other kids. Oh, is it cuz they're female or it's just cuz it's you? No, it's just father to son. There's a father to son like deficiency there. I don't know what it is. Does your dad hug your sister?
15:59 My sister hugs my dad. Okay, same ████ as you then. Cuz he's not gay, dude. Yeah, not gay. He ain't with all that. He's like the daughter, yeah, but the son You get a handshake. But I'll tell you what, my dad's never going to be like I'm going on a daddy-daughter date. Thank god, dude. I asked Tiff about it yesterday. I was like, "Hey, do you think do you think it's weird when when people say they're going on a daddy-daughter date?" And then I was and she was like, "Well, my dad like did that stuff for me." But I was like, "Would he call it a daddy-daughter date?" That's all I want to know. No, that's ████ weird. Thank you. She's like, "Yeah, you're right. That is weird." That's all I'm saying. She's like he would just go do stuff like he would teach me how to rollerblade. Yeah, we would do stuff together. You don't classify it as a daddy-daughter date. It's creepy. ask her if he was trying to blow a raspberry on her stomach and then she sneezed. Oh, no. I you know, I forgot about that scenario. Yeah. We're talking about how you could accidentally kiss her on the ████ It's a scenario.
16:49 Look at Subin's face. Daddy-daughter, you ████ disgusting ████ No, that's not me. That's not me. Tell him, dude. Daddy-daughter dates are I think are whack and all. You would ask that, though. Hey, do you think if you had a daughter, Subi, would you when you would have gone do stuff with your daughter, would you call it daddy-daughter dates? Well, what are you talking Why would I say that? I'm asking, would you yes or no? That's not his culture, though. That's his culture. It's not my culture, dude. It's not my culture. White guys invented daddy-daughter dates. You got to show them a good example. Asians cannot do daddy daughter days. White people can all the time. Only it's only for white Did you tell Tiff my theory about it? Yeah, she was like, "Yeah, it is ████ weird." And I'm like, "I agree." Good. Well, that's that's the guys who do it are like are like, "You need to see what an example of a man who's who's standing you should be doing." That's exactly, yeah. Yeah. ████ Yeah, you don't date your daughter.
17:39 Bro, it's it's weird now that Sasha's family, my wife's family, cuz sometimes they used to like be like, "Sumer, I love you." You know, they'll be like weird, huh? Yeah. It it like I know it's nothing crazy, and my wife's so used to it, but every time my wife's parents say it, I'm just like, "Woah." Yeah, weird. You're like, "Oh, gay." I hesitate to say I love you back. You know what I mean? I'm just like, "Woah." It's hard. You got to you got to work that muscle. Yeah, you got to work Yeah, you got to work it out. And then every time you walk out the door, they look at each other and it's like, "It's so sad. He never got that as a Never got it. I don't think they asked it. They just I feel like sometimes they're just like, "What What a weirdo. What a weirdo." Yo, I thought it was a it was a white people thing. "I love you. Shalom." I thought it was a white people thing where they just throw around the word love like nothing all the time. But, um, Hannah told me like in in northern England, they don't do it either. It's
18:29 American. It's like Ameri- like American like new age like, you know, we're going to you're not going to be like that. But like blue collar white or all all that stuff, they don't do that ████ I love you, Joe. Ugh. Shalom. Don't do that ████ I love you back, but don't do that ████ to me.
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