0:00 That's horrifying. >> Did you watch the video where we asked you if you'd rather ████ your mom or your dad? >> And she was like, "Good answer, son. You got to ████ your dad." Where do you think all those views came from? >> Her re watching the video. >> Welcome back to a very serious episode of Careful Boys. We have uh parental psychology expert Nicholas Dunn with us today. [applause] >> Worked hard on that. And we have with us um an avid real estate hater, especially of the Ohio area, Mr. Silent Michael. >> Don't buy Bitcoin. Do not buy homes. Do not buy Bitcoin. Do not buy homes. All a scam. All a scam. >> Okay, this is from your own imagination. Okay, let's say that your mom was to rate you on a scale of 1 to 10 on how
0:50 well you turned out. What do you think your mom would say? >> Oh, that's too easy. My mom probably give me a nine or 10. >> Yeah. I mean, I haven't been to jail. I haven't ████ up. I take care of her. >> That's all she wants. >> Wow. What a good mom. >> What a good son. >> Dude, you got I [laughter] I'm a perfect 10. >> You don't think your mom would give you a high score no matter how you turn out a little bit? >> White. That's why. >> No, >> she seems so loving. >> That's the Latin side. That's the Latin side. That's a lot more like, yo, bro, >> your mom's a She's Argentinian. >> Full blood. Yeah, she'll tell you the truth. >> 9% 9%. >> Yeah, she'll tell you the truth. Um, >> no. I think if I was ████ up, she'd she'd be like, nah. Seven and a half's pretty good. >> Seven. [laughter] >> Not bad. >> Okay. What about you, Joe? >> I set the bar so ████ low that being basic makes me a 10. >> Oh, really? You have no siblings? >> Yeah. >> No siblings? >> I have one older way cooler brother. >> What would you rate your brother?
1:41 >> I'm the more favorite one. >> Are you? >> Yeah. >> So, you're a 10 and he's a eight. >> You wait. They like you better than your brother? >> Yeah. >> What? >> There's no way. >> I'm 12 years younger. >> Oh, that's a gap. Yeah. Yeah. >> Yeah. That's a gap. >> But also, I have way more personality. Really? >> Yeah. >> He's boring. >> Very. [laughter] >> He's a quiet, calculated person. >> Oh, okay. Are you and your mom close? >> I think they're closer. >> Oh, really? But you're still the favorite? >> Yeah, I play hard to get. >> That's how you do it. [laughter] >> But in general, are you close? In general, are you close? Like you talk to her once a week? >> It's It's No, like it's one of those things where like we pick up where we left off. We're a very inerson like >> relationship, right? So when we're together, like we could we'll go eat, hang out, and we could talk all day. >> Okay. >> But like we're not phone people. At least I'm not. So I I just suck at
2:31 calling. And then but then we'll text once in a while, send each other memes. Yeah. >> So like >> Yeah. We have an interesting relationship. >> She's LA. >> No, Japan. >> Oh, really? >> Yeah. >> And that makes a little harder. >> So she Yeah. So, she used to come visit all the time um to Hawaii, but my stepdad recently passed away, so she's just been kind of chilling in Japan. >> Yeah. Oh, okay. What about you, Mr. Expert? >> I think my mom would give me like a >> And also, she doesn't know you're ever going to hear the score. >> Yeah, she'll probably give me like a seven. >> Shut up. For real. >> Room for improvement. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Cuz I think I think I'm I'm not the favorite for sure. My my middle sister is for sure the favorite out of the family. Um, she's the one that lives in Miami and when she comes into town, she like, dude, she ████ treats my mom like a queen, you know? So, she she
3:22 knows how to come in and swoop. Um, but I feel like she would probably say like I'm seven cuz I I'm not around as much, >> but I still live nearby. >> You get a point off for not being around as much, a point off for years, and then >> Yeah, my ears for sure. That That was a hard thing for my mom. >> Yeah, cuz she didn't like it, right? >> Yeah. First time like first time I got my this one, she would like talk to me and then like mid-sentence I'll be telling a story and then she'll look I could see her look in my ear and she go she's like I gave birth to this kid with beautiful ears and >> now look at you >> my ugly eared child. >> Like she's like what' you do like what did you do to yourself? >> You know Chinese moms are telling other people off about you like you're a ████ A+ but then to you there'll be like room for improvement. Don't ████ get ahead of yourself. I think that's what they're doing. I think for me what I try to do for mom is I try to see what I where I could help my expertise is. So
4:14 for now it's like she can't log into her her freaking all her accounts. I'm helping her with that. I'm helping her like >> get stuff for her colonic or whatever the ████ she needs, right? >> Uh and then I train my mom. I train my mom twice a week. >> Oh, that's dope. >> Yeah. Yeah. >> Twice a week. >> And she she improved she improved her uh her hip bone density by 10%. And it said it was statistically significant. >> That's awesome. Which is a big up. Yeah, it was big. >> Funny if you if you somehow gave her cauliflower ear, too. [laughter] >> Oh, I'm trying, dude. >> N I don't I don't believe it, dude. You're the youngest guy and then moms love boys. You're the f you got you got to be the >> What? No, you got to be the favorite. >> What is it based on, you think? Does like cuz like some parents might be based on like career. >> Yeah. >> You know, or like education. >> But moms love sons the most, not daughters. >> That's why I know I'm like a 10 is just
5:04 because like my mom's about like family. like I I'm morally good and I'm there for like what needs to be done. That's what she cares about most. >> Complains about how my my oldest sister who lives with her gives her attitude >> and stuff and she's with her more. So like she has to deal with like not deal with my mom more but like >> they're tired. >> Yes. And she's been doing it for a while. So sometimes she'll like snap be like, "Oh ████ I can't help you." Blah blah blah. >> And then that's where I come in and kind of like help out. You know, >> you're the only you're the baby guy. >> Yeah. I'm the baby boy. >> Probably the favorite, bro. I don't You might be the undercover favorite, but that's might be why the score would be harder to attain. >> My middle sister, she's she's for sure the favorite. She'll like say it, too. She's like, "Oh, Nicole, that's my sister name." She goes, "Oh, Nicole. She's great." >> Do you think your mom >> She helped me out so much. >> Do you think your mom worries worries about you more, though? >> I don't think she worries about me that much. >> At all? >> Not really. Cuz I don't tell her any of my problems. You know what I mean?
5:54 >> Cuz you're a man. >> Yeah, exactly. >> That sometimes makes parents worry more the less they know about you, too. >> Yeah, that's true. But I feel like she sees me at work, you know? She sees how I like she sees that I train people, so she's like, "Okay, this guy like has a place that he works at. It's not." And then she'll be like, she'll see me on this ████ sometimes. >> And then, >> no way. >> Yeah. >> What? >> She'll know I do this. You know, that's horrifying. >> Did she watch the video where we asked you if you'd rather ████ your mom or your dad? >> And she was like, "Good answer, son. You got to ████ your dad." Where do you think all those views came from? [laughter] >> Her re watching the video. I think I think I also am around a seven. Six or seven. I think one point off for not maintaining Christianity. One point off for not uh graduating college >> and then I think two more unattainable. I would have never got them. >> She still holds that against you. You think >> it's a point off? I don't think she like loves me less. I think it's just I just
6:45 know that those are like in my score. I could see them factoring those in. >> Let's say you finished it now. Would she be like, "Yay!" I would probably gain that point back cuz it's like a weird stigma belief where they, you know, like that generation just somehow just equates like all they know is to finish school. They don't know any you you could finish school and never get a job and that's better than if you had a job. >> Yeah. And they're still happy for you still. >> It was so hard then like at least my parents they're I think still the only two with degrees in my entire family line. >> Wa. You know, so like for my dad to be the first to do that and my mom, she doesn't have siblings but all cousins and ████ the first to do that. That's why I think it was so important to them >> and they pushed it all on us. >> Yeah. >> I mean, I'm a drop out, too. >> See, you guys, this is where you ████ up is you have siblings >> and they compare you to your siblings. >> See, and then they go, "Ah, they have someone to rate it to."
7:36 >> Yeah. True. >> See? >> Yeah, that's true. But >> I got a sibling, but technically he's like an uncle cuz he's like 12 years old. >> He'll never be as cool as him. >> No, he won't. As as me. [laughter] >> I like imagining that he's so cool. What what what's your uh what's your score from your mom? You think? >> I think if you ask her to score as a person, she would say like maybe nine or out of 10 or 10 out of 10. I think as a son, probably one out of 10 [laughter] cuz I don't think I'm anywhere near her ideal son. >> Oh, what would the ideal son be doing differently than you are? Tai Chi every morning. So the first one [laughter] would be >> vegetarian. >> Like one would be I didn't even marry into the culture. >> Oh. >> So she always goes like, "Oh, like you know, it'd be nice if I would been able to just communicate directly with G or
8:26 whatever. >> Learn English, b████." THAT'S WHAT I TELL MY MOM. I BE LIKE, "YOU SHOULD LEARN ENGLISH." >> So there's that. >> You're in America. >> And then the other is like, "Uh, I don't call her every day or regularly." The other one would be uh Yeah. Wherever. you sometimes read the text [laughter] >> and then the other one would be like I don't have her living with me >> like all the traditional Chinese things >> she was hoping for in life >> at what point does she go maybe cuz it's me >> never that's her fault >> it is it really is >> cuz my mom [laughter] >> I'm going to let out uh my white side a little bit I think something may be different from y'all's culture in the white side cuz I do got some white side in me you know [laughter] >> Mike white We're spicy white. But something with white people, I think that happens is like around age 20 to 25 depending. You
9:17 almost either uh totally break off from your parents or you like become friends and it levels out. >> You guys notice something like that? Cuz me and my mom, you've met my mom. Me and my mom are like kind of friends. We're kind of into the same ████ We'll talk about politics. Like we'll talk like normal people ████ She likes dogs, she likes real estate. We just kind of talk the normal people ████ So like >> the relationship's kind of different. And then obviously with I think all cultures um actually maybe not the white people sometimes is then the age starts to happen and you start to take care of your mother which you know I don't think white people do that well and that's where my Latin side starts to show more >> but that's why you have you're probably a 10. >> Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. No one >> cuz you're one of the few >> 100% the Latin side and I feel like Japanese cultures like that sometimes like still the reverence and respect for the older culture rather than like ah my mom's old like she's heading off to the home now. >> It's very American white. So she's like Europe, UK, everyone
10:07 >> takes care of their she's like I don't know what happened to American whites, but she's like they're so isolated and they don't want to be in a community. And then she's like >> Yeah, you're right. It's American. It's not white white. It's >> like an act of thing. I would like to be friends with my mom, but she's just very hard to be friends with. >> Yeah. Yeah. And you guys Yeah. You guys are just too different. You're too different. Yeah. You're too different. >> What's the one point of the sun one out of 10? >> What did you gain? that I guess she doesn't have to really worry about me. >> I think that's worth more than than freaking >> But then the problem is she creates her own worry still because she's gets my ████ uh my destiny red all the time and ████ >> Celestial body around your your zodiac signs ████ >> So she's like, "Ah, ████ Something crazy is going to happen." >> I'm like, "That's you stressing out." >> For at least Asian culture, it there's some similarities in all the different
10:57 ones. like one is um I don't think they understand how to operate in like without the hierarchy. So like there's rules of how you conduct yourself between peers or subordinates, right? So we're subordinates to our parents >> and I think um the gap is greater than western cultures. So they don't know how to talk to you like the way that they talk to a peer. >> Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. >> Whereas like I see the gap is closer in western culture of like being able to talk to your superiors and having like a conversation, having your own thoughts and in debating whereas like that doesn't really exist in many Asian cultures. >> So I think it's a new concept for them where like they could ████ with their friends, right? >> But they can't do it to people that are superior or under. >> Yeah. >> Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. >> And I don't know why >> that's why I do I do think it's like the
11:47 white person in me that that that [snorts] happened. >> Yeah. Mhm. >> But I think um >> cuz I think it's cool, too. >> But the lack >> they do get along obviously, >> but I think lacking self-awareness is is just a it's it's a it's like a it's like a worldwide thing, right? Where like you you hear it all the time where millennials are like, "Oh, I estrange from my parents." And they could be white, black, whatever. They're like, "My parents are ████ boomer stubborn ████ right?" And I and I don't think that's a cultural thing. I just think it's like a weird American phenomenon because like I've been seeing these things uh uh coming out with from like Italians or like people from UK and where they're like I don't get why Americans just don't want to like be with their family all the time. >> I know. >> And it's like Yeah. Cuz Americans can't stand their family members. >> I know. It's weird. >> Yeah. >> Way and like you said it is self-awareness cuz like I always think about like yeah I don't talk to my parents at all. I'm like well something's wrong with you then probably
12:38 too, right? like, "Yeah, your parents might be crazy, but chances are >> I've told my mom I could live with Gio's mom, but I can't live with you." [laughter] >> Yeah. And she understands why. So, the cool part is like as we talk, she starts to understand and she goes, "Oh, yeah. Like, our relationship is f█████." And she wants to work on it, but then her old habits kick in. So, when she's on her own, then she has her stupid thoughts come in again and she forgot forgot what we talked about >> or doesn't know how to work on it to actually like >> do some ████ >> It's probably not going to change really. No, >> I just got to deal with her ass. >> It's like if she's currently still putting down that much money on fortune telling, [laughter] >> bro, she's not she's not stopping anytime soon. Yeah, you just got to live with what you can, right? >> But what do you think happens here in America where like it's more common than like other places where they're a little bit more socially intelligent or they
13:28 could like coexist in a community better where like for us it's just so we're just we just won't tolerate it. I don't know. >> I don't know if it's it's hard to say. Like I feel like with like some white families that I've known growing up, you know, that whole thing of like you're 18, you're out of the house. Like that's not an Asian thing at all. >> Or the Latin side. I stayed with my mom. My dad ended up passing early 20s, but I stayed till I was like 26, 27. And American folks look at me like I was a bum. I'm like, "No, like my mom's alone in a country alone. Like I'm going to move out." >> It's like, this is my imperson my impression of it as a kid. I thought that when white people had a kid that turned 18 and he's out, those white people continue to live life. But then in the Asian family, I always thought like after I'm 18, if I left, my parents would wouldn't really do that much.
14:19 [laughter] >> They would just be chilling, right? I always felt like white people lived more and more as they got older and did more stuff. >> That is a little bit like stereotype. I don't know how real it is, but yeah, they buy the RV, they move to Hawaii, they go golfing. I don't know if that's real or not. Rich whites, cuz I I train some rich whites and they do that. >> Most Asian families, I know, they just they got the pattern. They just have the pattern of like the routine until they're just dead. And I'm just like, oh, >> they just go on the retirement trip and they have all these the travel, everything. >> I always felt like, oh, you you want to stay out of your parents' lives cuz they still have lives. Like these kids that are like 19, 20, they're white, they're gone. I'm like, you're trying to do your own thing. They're doing their they resumed life. Like Smash parents, I feel like they both resumed life. like they're taking all these trips, doing all this stuff. They're very active and they don't they're not like always trying to see each other. I was like interesting. I don't know. Maybe cuz Asians that never breaks
// end of tape