0:00 you know used to wear to make planes yeah yeah they were the zero Fighters oh that's that's a bad plane isn't itci that's a no no plane they're not supposed to land yeah they don't even land there's no [Laughter] [Music] gear so you guys see the the exit row plane where the yeah the Alaska Airline plane where the ████ door was gone 737 Max 9 oh my God yeah bro so right if you don't know uh the if you ever sit in the emergency row right and they're like are you prepared to be helpful during an emergency or whatever yeah sure whatever I don't give a ████ give me the leg room and then imagine you're you're sitting there and then all of a sudden the
0:50 ████ door blows off that's crazy and now you're just like everyone's chilling thankfully nobody was actually sitting in the actual seat but aair a chair flew out apparently a chair if you were sitting there you would have been like ejected yeah those ████ are bolted down it still flew out dude the the door and the chair are ████ that's ████ crazy is there anybody like missing a shirt or something they're just sitting there Shir get snap your snap off pants just your tear away ████ theid huge ████ heav wow just a guy without a shirt bro that's ████ crazy no apparently everyone like a s███████ of phones got sucked out though w oh they actually found an iPhone not kidding like that had survived the fall I think they found a couple of these yeah that survived the to the fall yeah that's like the best branding it just
1:41 good case good case Otter Box Otter Box so how does the door just fly they're investigating that why don't they make the whole plane out of the otter box hey that's good great question don't roll your eyes like that you commit to it okay that same day uh David had a flight to Hawaii and then it got canceled he goes bro I got to take the next flight like this one's canceled I'm like I wonder why and then this rolls out and apparently on that same day every single one of these like plane models they landed and then they double checked everything and they found like hella loose screws on like three of them or something oh my God so this plane is they don't they don't check before every flight I don't n dude that's that's a waste of Human Resources go just peep around a corner I've I got to get to
2:31 Detroit come on I've seen I've seen like gum or litter from the last flight sometime you know when you open the thing they're not really cleaning yeah they're just it's just quick they're just like get up back in the air it is very quick this is the oh my God that's what we're dealing with damn that's the night sky yeah that's the Stars dude it would be way cooler if it was daytime that's ████ scary no one on that flight though huh not a lot of people I bet it's cold as ████ too holy ████ yeah better give you something blankets for that h i mean obviously I don't want anybody to get hurt but I would like kind of enjoy being in one of those situations that's a crazy what if nobody gets hurt you wouldn't actually like it I know what you mean like like when you go through something crazy but then you come out okay yeah all the adrenaline or whatever good story and SL it's a good story and then also you know next time you get on that plane you're going to be like well wasn't like that last
3:23 time hey uh don't send me in the emergency road I think if that ████ happens to me I flying ever again dude really never again I'd actually feel safer cuz then after that I'm like the odds of it happening again is very low it is true but the odds of happening even the first time is low already I'm like damn I must be bad luck I actually thought that our system was like I felt more reassurance when I found out they landed all the planes double checked everything and I was like wow we have a really good like no one just let it go like eh that's one mistake you know you know when stuff like that happens and then like everyone on the plane starts becoming like super religious and they're like God if you get me out of this I'll love you forever what's the rate of like return like do you think that's a bad Christian bro do you think over time like all of them stick with that probably not hell no dude it
4:14 depends on what they promise they probably do for a little bit I think they go to church for 15 minutes like oh ████ it's like damn I'd rather just get sucked out of a plane I think dude God's never cashing that in though he's not cashing that in no but he's judging you on ████ judges look at this dude ████ sweating ████ 32c look at this ████ guy dude little ████ I scheduled him to dial on time ago and he's over trying to bargain cuz you know when you when you you're in a plane there's mad turbulence you see people kind of like start pring dude that was me yesterday I watched this guy next to me uh no no hate but like just a little hate I'm like this guy like is a very low intelligence because every time that it dipped he's like yo that we just dipped a lot and it's like no ████ dude no ████ ████ like the like the pilot could control it
5:05 yeah he was like one of those white dudes who wears the the shorts that are like all the way down you don't know if it's short pants or long shorts yeah yeah it's like he's still listening to Limp Biscuit yeah and no and he's watching Tik toks next to me loudly and I'm like this is going oh yeah dude I'm like when is Takeoff coming and he's watching of course he's watching MMA videos or whatever and I'm like dude you don't do MMA bro you're ████ skinny ass legs and ████ see like I'll your ████ ass I was literally cuz like I'm already I'm already just squeezed into a little tiny little part of Spirit Airlines and I I'm in the middle I'm like I paid for a bag I'm in the ████ middle I paid for a ████ bag let me see who who who didn't pay for a bag why am I not on the ████ exit row or at least put me in the window yeah so I'm already pissed and then this guy next to me opens up Tik Tok and he's just like and and all the audio is different cuz it's like one
5:55 one clip has music One clip's a guy yelling one has the robot voice yeah exactly dude I'm I'm so secretly mad at all those people that are hella aloud on planes oh yeah dude that's not considerate yeah yeah who do you think you are bro every little and he's like yo did you feel that dude holy ████ and he's like holding his chick's hand what a little ████ yeah he was a ████ dude yeah while he's watching MMA videos with his skinny legs and his long I'm telling you not a fan of that guy or his shance whatever you want to call him so every time there was some turbulence he was just calling it out he was calling it out yeah yeah like as if I don't know why like his friends don't feel it or something like everyone knows dude was he trying to get some laugh you think no he was like Terri okay but like he maybe couldn't control he's just one of those expressive ass ████ Motors he's a motor stop defending him bro I'm just trying to defend the airport does make
6:45 me like hate humans more though no lie the airport or airplane well just the entire traveling through air experience oh people are the worst on yeah it's like you're either docile and like acceptable or you're a piece of ████ ruining things you know what I mean and then you have to like like come back to like Humanity senses and like be like no I still love life cuz there's people that are like my needs are more important than anyone else's needs in this ████ place yeah nobody else's needs like the crazy thing is everybody's a ████ main character at the airport you know what I mean like just relax yo like we could all just be supporting Cass in a like a community let's just get through the TSA line did you see how about I stop in the middle of the hallway I got to stop in the middle of the hallway did you see that one guy he was being obnox and he was like challenging this guy and he's like why are you record or what are you recording he goes I'm about to I'm
7:35 recording a guy that's about to get his ass bait oh yeah and then he's like hit me hit me and then as soon as you see the hit the next cut is he's on the ground with blood on his face with a Sho his shoe off he's like being dragged out oh God and then he's the guy in zip ties like in trouble while the other guy that ████ him up is fine and I'm all like that's so satisfying he was like a boxer yeah he's a boxer right I'm about to I'm about to record an ass whooping I'm like that's the that was so drunk though he would have got his ass whooped by anybody on the plan he was so freaking gone dude I think those are the type of guys I ████ hate like the obnoxious drunk people that are just like British guys on holiday dude my buddy's a a pilot uh in in he lives in Vegas and he does the Vegas to LA obviously oh that must be crazy he's like it's drunko it's
8:25 people who just lost gambling it's like and they're so rude to to the to the to be fair though to be fair if you're like consistently doing the LA Vegas like I mean come on you know mean what do you mean what's Anthony's that guy bro's that guy anon's like doing open mic right now he's like I mean I think what saying is like if you're a cop and you work in comp then it's like you deserve to die yeah get shot in the face everyone got come on come on I didn't know I didn't know it was racial everyone has a good come on that's all right come on yeah you're asking for it Vegas to LA a different flight come on yeah instead of saying officer down they just go come on come on sometimes like I love flying right but then when those things happen I go I can't wait to be see this is why I need to be rich I can't fly in a
9:16 private plane my suffering is I have to fly with these ████ yeah yeah other than that I love flying but it's like once I'm reminded I'm like ah this I got to be rich why am I here why am I ████ seeing next to this person yeah see even if I make it I'll just be like why am I so ████ cheap yeah that's true why do I have to be so cheap that's how you stay Rich yeah I mean come on come on hey uh yeah by the way the um the the CEO of Alaska Airlines is just like I'm so sorry everybody had to go through this traumatic incident my heart goes out to those who were on this flight I'm sorry for what you experienced I'm grateful for the response of our pilots and flight attendants it's like the door fell off dude the door fell off and in the middle of of of you're like 30,000 ft up that's ████ crazy and you're trying to be all positive by saying like good job yeah there's no like condolence
10:07 you can offer yeah I'd be like yo guys I'm so sorry the door fell off that's crazy I feel like the exit door everyone gets a free flight or something or or 30% off for everybody right now big promo yeah hey 6 months you guys get to go to the lounge for six whole months does Alaska have a lounge I don't know I don't know not you get to have the water with the ████ floating fruits in it and I think they're doing okay though cuz they just bought Hawaiian Airlines and then before that they bought uh virgin so I feel like alas is pretty good Airline though typically speaking Yeah it's been fine minus like doors flying off yeah but that's you know track record I don't hold it against Alaska I just think doors are bound to fly off you know what I mean it's just Delta dudes ████ sabotaging it cuz they're a oh it's Delta dudes strikes again this plane was
10:59 only a Comm for like a year barely that's a new plane it's a newe why doesn't Toyota make planes man I know I'm only fly Toyota or hyund dude yeah we could jack them all we would kids Jack ████ Jack with a USB key yeah you know used to wear to make planes yeah yeah they were the zero Fighters no way oh that's that's a bad plane isn't commercial they're the comicazi no no plane they're not supposed to land they don't even there's no gear remember in Snakes on a Plane and Snakes on a Plane when Keenan Thompson helps land the plane cuz he played the video game of of it I didn't see that movie happened in Soul Plane too Soul Plane was a good movie Soul pl's a documentary talk about a movie where the
11:49 door fell off dude Snakes on a Plane the door ████ fell off BR D kidding news careful voice is a brand just kidding news is the man of smart people the people of just kidding news careful boys they are very smart just kidding news the number one foodcast in the [Music] world
// end of tape