0:00 [Music] anybody here fly jet blue before i have i love it it's probably the best airline there is long beach jet blue other than singapore yeah but for the united states and they give you blue chips potato chips you know i flew spirit it's not that bad dude for 45 i actually just flew spirit here it was kind of nice it was not bad i i ████ on them all the time did you get those good ass tickets to vegas for like 14 bucks yeah i got him i didn't get it for 14. like 40 bucks right but it's like 47. i got it for like 40 bucks and i sat next to jeff mayweather you got to go to floyd mayweather is that right yeah yeah crazy didn't he play solitaire i was i'm such a fan and i was nervous the whole time because i used to watch all his videos and stuff and he's playing solitaire and i was like hey man i'm like big fan and he goes thanks and i was like oh ████ i ruined that
0:53 yeah i guess lloyd money mayweather he's no no his uncle his uncles yeah yeah flies but i think he's having a strange relationship yeah oh but i don't know do you think he is you know poor people thing do you think he had an empty duffel bag you know what he did he did have a duffel bag on him that looked a little suspicious dude it was part cardboard there was nothing in it yeah he ████ up that relationship so there's a jet blue pilot who was just pulled off of a plane before takeoff after failing a breathalyzer oh ████ yeah for that i mean that's okay anybody having to uh be illegal it's mostly autopilot the legal b.a.c or a pilot oh for a pilot no all right go ahead what's the normie bac 2.08 0.08 for a pilot it's .04 oh oh that's like half a beer man but do you
1:44 think mid-flight they get drunk and then they sober up by the time they get down so they're like before they fly they're sober right and then they go up and they pull out the whiskey or choice of drink you know like autopilot ████ and then by the time they get down they sober up and then they wake up i feel like we've had a lot of drunk pilots on flights that we just learned denzel denzel we've talked about him here exclusively too drunk pilots just pilots in general yeah the whole cockpit wait is this like a common thing dude you've never seen flight they pilot i drink the vodkas i drink the vodkas no i've seen i mean do they even work because pilots are the plane does all the work i know it's like a tesla right there's a pallet one two three ████ there's a plane so this jetblue pilot was pulled off of a plane in buffalo new york after allegedly blowing four times
2:34 the legal limit for pilots on a breathalyzer test according to four times that's crazy [Laughter] was it happy hour yeah for sure wait tell me what's happening the breathalyzer before they take off yeah every time whoa that's that's what i believe when i had a dui i think you have to blow up breathalyzer all pilots like that's like protocol give a story that would be a reasonable protocol well no i'm just saying because um i was in a plane recently uh uh uh a kid took me up literally a kid yeah he just learned how to play yes he's like holy ████ he's 12 years old yeah he's a kid to me he's like 20. but like he he uh he took me on a plane didn't use a breathalyzer he could have been drunk obviously i was pregnant like balls dude it's a propeller plane yeah
3:24 it was fun maybe commercial flights have a different role for sure because corporate but i saw them work though he barely works he goes echo echo five five four four three two two four four echo nine or nine oh ████ in front of you to look cool yeah and then they have a like ████ face live action they have an ipad that just basically like a gps that tells them to stay on the course and then he just the ████ using ████ google maps to get there dude i did the same ████ in costa rica there's the same ████ in front of me like clipboard like reference i'm like yeah whatever it's not really it's not ████ real echo five five fly four yeah that's what they say and chicken clearance for uh some ████ probably that's a ████ probably did he end with hike so this 52 year old pilot blew a .17 on a breathalyzer test
4:15 that's obviously over the legal limit for pilots which is a did they say a choice of drink tequila oh yeah yeah i was talking about it if your point is if you're 1.7 are you kind of like obviously it depends on the person 0.1.1.17 yeah are you pretty ████ sloppy at that point i i can tell you from experience um when i got my dui i was almost that and i was pretty toasty man yeah what were you driving what kind of big what kind of big-ass vehicle were you driving yeah semi truck here's why i didn't deserve it though because i got it at uci after uh like a frat party you know when you you totally deserved it already dude but you were just driving like a tiny distance i remember yes so i remember like taking a patron shot as we
5:06 were leaving and so that's what really that's it no no i was drinking the whole thing but like as we were leaving to get on the bus 0.17 what yeah no no no to get bro your organs are failing yeah no to get yeah i only have like a pint of blood in me to get on the bus one of those guys one of those guys the bus took us to the parking lot and so we get we get there and then a couple of my friends were like oh we're hungry i was like oh ████ i'm hungry too but back then the only thing that was open was del taco drive-through that's an hour ago jack wasn't there yet drive-through only and and it was like two blocks maybe i don't feel it man it's like two blocks maybe and it's mostly parking lot that you're
5:56 driving through yeah it's mostly parking lot so i pulled out of the parking lot and immediately just and then they they made me do the whole test and everything but here's you went through the drive through backwards you realize that right but worst of all their tackles got soggy this is an ethanol we never got to the tacos the worst part what's camping on you man dude i was gonna get those chili cheese fries all of it got soggy i i was gonna get it i didn't never got to it wait you didn't get to you didn't get the food irvine we never i just pulled out of the parking lot of all of the in the area and pd runs a tight ship they do nothing i got pulled over by irvine pd right and then we got sat on the curb because they like to do that to asians and then the cop walked up to me he was a chinese cop and he said you ever have any priors and i was like
6:48 oh yeah because i was a juvenile oh yeah you have to tell me yeah and he goes what for rape murder and i'm like why why would i be on the streets i'm 16. why there like why can't you start with something like that be a priority it would be a durian yeah the first thing he went to was rape he said it like that too like a matter of fact like i know you're one of those ████ murderer rapers bomb making is it like tony the tiger yeah it was rape [Laughter] and i was like all right we would love for frosty to face the sponsorship please my favorite cereal and the funny thing is you know when irvine pd pulls you over they don't pull you over with one car they call 10 of their ████ squad cars out they do
7:38 when officers come out for skinny 14 year old asian boy sat sat on the curb right but you were bald so that's i was bald soul is my bragger he's so skinny my friend had car parts because he hadn't finished his car so they're looking in the back they're like are those stolen i better not see any scratch ████ serial numbers or whatever whatever and i was like trying to tell them oh yeah i got busted for graffiti but then he just kept going down this laundry list of like assault battery like i was like he's not even using evidence of ████ cops graffiti rape i know i was just like oh i was caught tagging grapefeeding like dude irvine cops are the ████ worst and that's probably why it's the safest city in america embezzling mass murdering better not be laser tagging i'll tell you if you're laying there right now you're
8:29 going right away moon landing denying it's like all these different that was i can't do that yeah can i do it you know i actually got pulled up for a cussing for driving under the influence as well in irvine one time and it was the only time i've ever been pulled over for uh being under the influence and i was totally under the influence i'm not gonna lie i maybe almost deserved dui but i didn't deserve them because i passed the test oh and uh they in the ████ way to tell a story the funny thing is so far what's the most ████ story it was after a halloween party so i was in a akuma outfit oh cool i was a kuma do you have pictures i want to see you as a cool really cold because if you don't know kuma he doesn't wear a lot of clothes you know what i mean and i'm not exactly actually buff or
9:20 anything like that so it was like you know you need that big necklace yeah yeah the big b you know and uh and i was sleepy it was like 4 a.m i was sleepy after this party so i was i was veering off the road and somebody called the cops on me so cuz you're wobbly driving ass citizen or whatever he's probably in bison it's stupid gestapo cops pulled me over they administered a drug test on me i like have to summon all of my dance training and balance and stuff like that in order to figure out how to pass the test i passed the test even though i maybe barely and i got some tests what choreography did you have to do all the breath ████ right walk in the line of stuff yeah in an akuma outfit and then he sits me down and the very last thing they do is asking me he's like do you want to take a breathalyzer test right and then if you don't take a breathalyzer test they can take you yeah
10:12 if you do take a breathalyzer test then obviously if you pass it then you're good to go and that was obviously i had learned from some friends at that time so i was like ████ it i'm gonna ████ go for it because i don't want to get cuffed right now if this guy just doesn't believe me i take the breathalyzer chest and then he still has to ████ play me in that moment and he's like do you know what the legal drinking limit and i was like 0.08 and then he's like do you know what you got i'm like no i i don't you have the reading guy yeah and then he goes you got .04 and i'm like alright cool and i'm good and then he let me go but realistically like cops will do especially in irvine they will do whatever to make sure you're taking because they're also the cops that pick up homeless people and drop them off in santa ana you know especially that one lady by jack-in-the-box you know i'm talking about the homeless lady who always shows the specific lady she's always there she's always at the jaguar oh jumbo jack jane yeah
11:03 quick mama look at quick draw over there this guy's quick joe ryan this guy's really good he actually knows that he probably built a community doing all those tests in the beginning helped sober you up you're just like a ████ whack ass honestly you're scared when you do it dude oh you know what i was i was drunk enough that i wasn't scared at all when i did those ████ when i did those tests i was like i'm ████ crushing it right you weren't getting all but you got the dui right look like you're passing you're different dude i know for sure i passed those because oh the balance one yeah i did i did dude i felt like a dancer that time dude i was like i'm ████ killing it and then afterwards he was like well this guy still sounds drunk i think he's like so he's like do you want the breathalyzer and i was like no and then however and then
11:54 and then he's like all right he starts cuffing me right here's the reason why i took the breathalyzer test and then and then i immediately but then i immediately was like wait what like like all my confidence just went away a true drunk like a true drum yeah and i was like wait no okay i'll do it you know it's like it's too late now yeah and the idea of you being drunk doing balance thing and the cop going dude this drunk guy's killing it he's like hey [Music] i can't be pissed he's like it's confident ████ this guy's too good it's going down eventually his confidence is a .09 but but then i blew that ████ way too high damn did you go passed out just blew me i realized you were so
12:44 confident that you weren't like hell yeah with the breathalyzer plug it into my lungs i'm a fart in that thing was your life pretty ████ after that like with all the inconveniences of having a dui for a little bit a good year of annoying ████ yeah it gets pretty like a lot of money and like uh uh i ended up like getting a lawyer to just like do it quick um but it costs it cost like a couple thousand dollars out at the end of it how was a a uh i eat any hot girls spoken like a true drunk did you get married yeah we had an aaa wedding uh it's kind of boring good dry yeah um now i went to one meeting oh you only had to go to one well no i had to go to like six but i just like scribbled in sent test and replaced it
13:36 that's great well all it is is you have a card and then they like someone signs it and so i it's a signature and so i went to five different friends and i was like here sign this with your handwriting sign this with your handwriting and then yeah well done those meetings are sad as ████ man there's so it makes you want to drink right yeah dude yeah yeah that's real ████ because i'm just like uh an idiot kid that was trying to go to del taco these people are like i ████ ruined my three kids lives and you're like oh ████ i drove facebook into a train i'm the only survivor i have seven children i had seven children i don't anymore because i drove into a train at first first he did it i saw it she's too real for me i'm just trying to go to ████ psychology class and ████
14:27 i don't know there's too much del taco [Music]
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