0:00 [Music] so what do you guys think is maybe one of the worst things that could happen during a funeral a funeral somebody dies wow true another person dying yeah yeah but then you get a two-for-one special right so like i don't think we're gonna shove the other body in the coffin it depends how close they are just roll them into the dirt someone else falls into the grave that would be bad like trips and falls yeah that would be very bad it ends up being the wrong body in the casket oh that would be i bet that happens someone hijacks the funeral by proposing that's ████ that's good that's a tight idea though because you got everyone there yep that's pretty messed up good it's like those ████ that hijack a wedding with their their proposals love those guys you know everyone i'd like to make an announcement oh my god it's like
0:51 ████ it's their wedding why do you do that oh we were in the spirit of love man isn't it good our family and friends are here everyone's here already steve stands up he's yeah why haven't we seen that in a movie or something anyone else we talked about that recently in a jk article because there was somebody who's doing that yeah i feel like it's like a movie cliche like people get excited like they get married and then afterwards you see a proposal and ████ dude if you want everyone the bridesmaids start talking ████ on you just do that they'll immediately start ████ talking all kinds of ████ okay so a massachusetts family whose loved one's casket fell open that was being lo as it was being lowered into a grave causing the body to fall out has sued the funeral home in the cemetery that's pretty much the worst thing that guy the rest so it was it was lowering and then just and then like
1:41 problem rolling eyes are open and then the body just ████ dropped yeah like what happens to the body does it stay stiff or does it like unreal engines the whole way down and the eyes are open casket fall onto them too oh and they also tried to cut corners and then put pants on them the bottom half that's the best if there were no fancy just all my caskets are just like oh we're good the front the front of the pants it's lower bear like we do have to ask if you like to say 50 by not having pants pump pants at a front shirt no pants no shoes it's just fronts that's so embarrassing nothing but ass cheeks the naked bag assless chaps burial suit oh
2:31 oh ████ that's dope yeah so one of the side straps to the city owned casket lowering device broke causing the casket to fall into the grave and break apart oh the corpse quote fell out of the casket in full view of the horrified family members who became visibly distraught and even hysterical wait so how high was the coffin at the time if everyone saw it was like high up in them higher than usual just so you just see a body like high enough i think it was high enough yeah what the ████ that's mortifying like literally yes mortified i don't think i've ever seen a casket get lowered into a grave like i've been to funerals all that stuff yeah but i've never seen it being like it's usually just in like a suspended like it's like a bunch of cables and it just goes like that much yeah yeah it's not like a construction site where they're like moving somewhere they're lowering them
3:23 just slowly it's like they're installing a fish tank samuel lobster tank what are they in boys it's clear coffin on the bottom so you can see the ass [Laughter] is that the new move like a glass bottom boat i'm sure i'm sure there's options out there for like clear coffins oh yeah yeah definitely there's all kinds of weirdos out there sure i think the first person to do that was sleeping beauty or some ████ like glass coffin yeah have you guys seen michael jackson's mausoleum no ████ crazy dude i'll hold it up it's actually crazy i kind of want a mausoleum when i'm dead even if that's when you know you're balling huh yeah cause those are a lot aren't they a studio apartment mine can be made out of wood this is why you just kind of burn people dude you just want the mausoleum definition but
4:14 not any of the what's that mausoleum i expected that like a cabin it's like next to the groundskeeper's hut i want a ████ mausoleum with a statue dude i want to i just want the qr code tombstone oh yeah those are pretty cool so then like when you when you uh click the link it just goes please solve the mystery of my death like i act like it was like this big murder mystery it's just like a a hologram of you comes out just your face it's just like you're looking at this i died avenge me it's just all repeat your tombstone goes viral the true crime community is just like we're going to rally together an innocent person goes to jail i can't tell you who killed me but here are 12 clues one to be released every year i don't even know this guy dude you could sell your clues as nfts
5:04 people to figure out who killed you dude the clues would be so expensive apparently this is where michael jackson is buried and like this is that a church the sun hits it hits the thing at a certain time and you can visit wow no you can't you can't go in you can just see it from outside i guess and that was the photo they chose to take this is just the one one that i can find there's a lot of places that say they don't know where michael jackson is what yeah i know kind of making me think he's made me alive i for sure want a sick ass mausoleum metaverse mausoleum oh maybe i could afford a metaverse mausoleum that'll be crazy how much do you think they would go for what if you could still be alive in the metaverse that's what i'm saying like you can be alive in the metaverse as like a bot so your family can visit you yeah the fact that there's a metaverse and you still want to be dead in it he's like maybe you could get a medal
5:55 for some mausoleum like you can also not die imagine you could download your brain though dude wouldn't that be interesting ah dude it's like altered carbon remember that ████ on netflix oh yeah you'll be choreographing pieces that's the metaverse right there you could be ████ you could be black today tomorrow you could be asian you could be a woman you could be anything imagine all the unremarkable brains that will get saved in the near future unremarkable ████ wasteful dude right it's like if a philosopher is like hundreds of years from now talking to us imagine that ████ yeah like shut up there's gonna be like a futurama where the heads of like old like leaders are in those uh chambers except we say nothing interesting we're like yeah i don't know i would think by a thousand years though those idiots would probably become smart because they'll have a lot of time to get it together that's what i'm thinking
6:46 i'm hoping i'm hoping our kids are smart guys all right i doubt it if they could extend their brain yeah we bring back an old philosopher into the metaverse they're like what the ████ is this i can't process any of it newton's like this is not my law this is ████ you're probably our graphics will suck compared to theirs too oh yeah argumentative reverse graphics gonna suck compared to the next generations the next generation is just gonna be like reality yeah exactly where you can't tell the difference between reality yeah finally it's about to happen dude we're like this close because you know have you heard of the simulation theory where we are the metaverse for like another being i love that ████ because the odds are so small that this is the real world it just sounds like religion like buddhism or whatever just like reincarnation well you've heard that like in like minecraft you can build games and ████ because there's like all these weird mechanisms in minecraft it's like in that game you
7:37 can build games it's like it's like how we build games in our world the same thing yeah it's just everything there is like pixelated dude everything's gonna get so ████ crazy no more i'm kind of just not ready for it but when you think of like ready player one you're like all right this is gonna be pretty cool but that's gonna be a whole ████ is it that you said that's what metaverse is trying to do right i think that's the um fantastical dream that everybody's hoping for right now end result yeah i think that to get there they've mentioned already it's going to take a long time and a lot of like an economy first house has to also be established for like developers and stuff like that to like want to continue to pour in that much like this this is web 3.0 this is literally the next frontier of like the internet age and stuff like that so like to do it and build it out the right way is it's going to take so much time but like we'll be dead by then i don't think we'll i think it'll be a decade or eight
8:27 years i mean you do live hard you live hard i feel like you're built to survive you'll be alone i just hope bitcoin pumps before the metaverse comes out yeah it will be fine i think digital funerals though and weddings in the metaverse like to bring back to this are actually getting pretty sick right imagine like oh here's regular use case right uh asian relative or some ████ that's in asia can't make it to your wedding funeral clocks in via digital holographic ar can participate i mean maybe not steve green and his brother ████ rolling around and started shooting ████ hey look if they if they leave that exploit open i'm going to ████ exploit it you know i'm saying people like digitally or hologram wise via ar can like be somewhere that they normally wouldn't be able to you know what i'm saying the live event and i think that's like the first step but obviously
9:17 going into the the imagination like what else can you do what else can you be a part of in that digital space you know what i mean and use to your advantage like damn of course i'm excited for that ████ i never want to go to a funeral anyway steve's gonna be at the better version you're gonna be like hello just the gravedigger passing by don't mind me very much everybody enjoy the funeral and enjoy the funeral joy out of out of nowhere a ████ bulldozer comes oh yeah dude scooping the ████ ground up digging holes all around the ████ casket the biggest ████ hole didn't ████ kanye send kim kardashian like a video of her father yeah a good hologram hologram of robert bob kardashian and it was so weird because he had like a whole script that he would that whoever like acted out the part of robert kardashian had to read off it was just praising kanye as like a
10:07 great guy during a certain section so like you know kanye ████ wrote is like you got a great husband kanye a genius great man yeah amazing father this is a genius idea oh god so back to your birthday so we got we gotta bust like a tony stark right and do that ████ like when we die as well like pre-recorded messages to our like a future children's ████ right there oh yeah but unremarkable things yeah insults or just plagiarize it just i love you three thousand [Laughter] well i think it's gonna be cool dude gathering with family members is gonna be the first thing that will be like the littest thing ever it'll be hard to like bail oh true before you could use traffic as an excuse you could use i'm sick as you know so many you'll just start phasing out your camera you're pretending like all the connections just turn your vpn on
10:57 ah sorry i don't know what happens they're gonna make jury duty like metaverse oh first ████ dude oh my gosh don't even joke about it's gonna suck i'm down for jury duty in the metaverse this might be harder to dodge can you imagine all the people are gonna be gay they're gonna be caught jacking off huh yeah oh yeah that's going to happen well it already happened during covet there was a lot of jerk off accidentally jerk off videos yeah all the zoos what do you mean oopsie oh like guys are like okay guys uh good meeting today bob and i'll see you guys tomorrow all right thank you oh yeah it's time to jerk it jerky so literally they announced it too i am about to come all over my computer i've been waiting for this it's an old guy isn't it oh yeah oh yeah
11:47 time for my next meeting [Laughter] hello secretary dude yeah that happened a ton with like really important people too just stop jerking off after a zoom you can't wait like five minutes can't we wait five minutes just five minutes dude can't even close the tab dude i'll show up to jury dude i'm like hello everybody don't mind me just a gravedigger not here to jury duty nope nope gotta dig some graves he's like notorious for being on every meta versus there's a ████ guy again he's just here to dig some graves ████ the grave dirt is gonna ruin it [Music]
12:43 you
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