0:00 Here's the thing. You're not going to fall into a ████ you know, real life >> bamboo spikes. >> You're going to fall into a bunch of dildos. >> Cuz that's his biggest fear. >> Dildos. What's the dildos for? >> Okay guys, I want you to take a look at something. And uh not that. Sorry. >> Those are dope. By the way, you get it link in the description box below. >> What do you think of this? So, uh you guys been to Universal Halloween Horror Nights? >> Yes. >> Many. >> Super fun. Really great to get jump scared. >> One of the best haunted places to go to. >> Better than Knots. >> Oh, wow. Oh, okay. Hot take. >> Knots is scarier in the parking lot. >> Yeah. >> It's like the Six Flags parking lot. >> Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. >> You don't want to fight for your funnel cake? >> Nah, I'm chill. >> Okay. Uh they got this thing now called the Deathly Afraid uh lanyard. You can get for 20 bucks. Isn't that sick?
0:50 >> What does that mean? Like a trigger warning thing like don't scare me. >> Well, in 2025, I feel like everyone's a ████ ████ ass ████ You think that would be a thing at a >> so like don't ████ trigger me. It's going to ████ make me so scared. >> You think that would be a real thing at a Halloween horror nights >> in 2025? >> Why would people go and then get something that cuz ████ vegetarians go to steakouses and try to make them change their whole menu? >> I would think it's the opposite. Like you buy that because you want to be even more like come scare me. >> Extra scary past. It's like attention on me. >> I give you permission to touch me. You can touch my dick. You can touch my >> to touch me. Yeah. No, Bart's right. That's exactly what a I was having hope in a new generation. >> Say he's definitely afraid. >> Yeah. So you buy this if you don't want people to scare you. >> Why are you there? It's like >> dude, >> I'm a Texas Longhorns. Um, excuse me. Do you have any veggie options?
1:42 >> Jesus, dude. >> Exactly. >> Why go? >> I don't. Cuz it' be a pain in the ass. >> That's like going to the brothel and not wanting sex. >> Yeah, dude. >> Well, also I think maybe he's going with their partners and then the partner's forced to go. >> Tell them stop. No, they can't because their the relationship's very fresh. So, you know, when you're very fresh, you do things you don't want to do. >> Yeah, but you don't like put on a medal that says I'm a ████ >> Well, >> you suck it up. >> And you do it the oldfashioned way where you just lie to the partner. Yes. I love getting scared. Exactly. >> Nobody said just lie and don't go, >> dude. I used to lie to Nikki. I was like I was like, I'm not ticklish. And I was like, if I can get through this first year, this ████ will never tickle me again. And she ended up getting me like month seven. >> Month seven? Dude, you got pretty far, dude. >> I know. I was close. >> Really good long con. >> You're in LA, right? >> Dating in LA is very hard. So, you don't want to ████ it up.
2:32 >> But now you're going to put on a ████ ass ████ Is that going to make it worse? >> ████ it. You a ████ ass ████ >> You know what's funny is if you're a real tough looking guy and you wear that or if you have two, you bought two of them >> for the back >> and you hold it. >> Don't even come near me, brother. >> You bought the $40 one. >> But here here's my thing. >> Ignore me. I would buy this only because I know a lot of them do stink like ass. >> And I don't want them near me. >> Really? The guys in the costumes, they're sweating. Think about it. They're sweating from like 5 to 5 to to 900 p.m. >> And you smell it. >> Half the time I knew something was coming cuz I smelled them. >> Oh, you can smell them before you see them. You can smell them. >> You know why? It's because the whole experience is all senses. They want to scare your nose, too. >> No, that's not that's not scary. That's just a BO matter. What if they came by and they smelled like roses, though? That'd be a little weird.
3:22 >> Here's that good smelling ghost, guys. >> I mean, that's cool, right? >> It's a bath and body ghost. The cool water ghost. >> I I would just get nauseous like you know when you smell that super stingy sour vinegar. >> That's how it should. It should smell like a dead body. It should smell like you should be like, "Oh, what the hell? I'm going to puke." >> Yeah, that's part of the fear. >> No, no, no, no, no. >> So, you would wear one of these for that reason? >> I would wear one of those like, "Stay away. You sting like s███." I went to one of these with uh with Nikki in the early days and I really don't like scary movies and I don't like anything scary at all because I have scary dreams and I don't need this in my in my actual life, right? And so I was with her and I just have to I'm just like, "Okay, just be a big boy. You're good. You're a big be a big boy, you know." And then um these guys turn on chainsaws behind us >> and they're like walking behind you with chainsaws and I'm just like I'm just like, "Okay, they might be taking pictures of me or something like that. They could get me outside with a picture
4:12 of me being like, but I'm walking all straight. So, I just But as they're coming up behind me with chainsaws, I'm like I'm like I'm like, "We got to go faster. We got to go faster." I'm like, "I got to go to the bathroom. I got to go to the bathroom." Like, just >> And they rev it behind you, too. Like, >> that's not for me. >> You would buy one of these then? >> I'd buy it if it said I'm afraid of everything. >> Wow, that's cool. >> I'd buy it if it said that. >> You know what's funny? You know, the guy that um >> send him a cease and desist. Yeah. >> Yeah. >> During the final episode? >> Oh, they could all see it now. You know, the guy that uh came in with the hot dogs and he came in with the Amazon, he came he lit the cake, my buddy. So, his name is Noel and he he used to work at Halloween Horror Nights. And he was one of the people that scares you in the maze. >> And then we were going through one night. I didn't know he worked there yet. >> And he uh so in the maze, they're not supposed to touch you throughout the park no matter what. And then we're going through the maze and this I just
5:03 feel the arms of the ████ zombie wrap around me and he picks me up and I was like, "This isn't allowed." And then he goes in next to my ear and he goes, "Hey, it's me, Noel." >> Oh ████ that's tight. >> Oh, the people we were with were like, "Dude, they can't do that." >> That would freak me the ████ out. >> That is the only time. Yeah. I actually got >> cuz you know the rules. >> Yeah, cuz I know the rules. I'm like, "This isn't what the I was like, >> that's even more alarming." So there's like, "Oh, this is how I die." >> Yeah. Yeah. This is how I actually kill me in the haunted housemate. >> I like that though. I just love the people who are like like this isn't hardcore enough, dude. They're going in there. >> Oh, those ████ >> Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. The people with like Nightmare on Elm Street tattoos and ████ like that. Yawning. >> What is this? I was watching Alviral when I was 3 years old. Dude, this ain't nothing, right? >> It's not scary though. >> I went I went to Knots with a girl like that and it was the worst thing.
5:53 >> Yeah, but then why can't you just enjoy something like just enjoy it, dude? Like >> to me, I know it's production and I'm scared. >> Like I'm in there the whole time. This is fake and I'm like ah ████ ████ Like you have to participate in it's fun to be scared. Yeah. You have to like meet them halfway. >> You got to want to be scared. It's like going to a movie and being like there's they're not in the screen. They're not behind the thing. >> That's just Ryan Gosling. Oh, what? I know this guy. ████ annoying, dude. >> I'm like, go to a graveyard then. If you want to be scared, like go to ████ Syria. >> Go to go to another country. >> Yeah. Tape dollars all over you and ████ run into Skid Row or something. Would you would you want to go to the Syrian experience if that was >> the Syrian experience? >> I go to Darur. >> Oh, >> why not Syria? The Dar 4. >> Oh, yeah. I think all of it would be pretty fun. >> This episode is brought to you by the RP
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7:36 al-Qaeda theme park >> oh dude >> I would go in a minute >> I'd go >> I would Dude >> the thing is is they calm down >> but what if they were like for $20 you can buy this don't shoot me badge >> but you know what I have a friend that goes to Afghanistan and hangs with the Al's >> Yeah, he's dead. >> No, he's alive. >> I'm just kidding. I'm just kidding. >> He has footage of wearing like going on a cartwheel with them while they're holding a >> a cartwheel. >> Yeah, >> like a guy going and doing a cartwheel. >> No, not a cartwheel. I mean, a ferris wheel. A ferris wheel. That would be so funny. A Caliban doing cartwheels, holding on to a guy. Okay, here we go. >> Here we go. >> Watching them with like rocket launchers in bumper cars, it really softened their image to me, >> right? >> It just made it cute. swan paddle boats. I was just like, >> man, >> hey, can we be honest, though? Like, there's people going out there in
8:26 Afghanistan making these guys look so normal and stuff. You kind It changes your look. >> Yeah. And I'm going to be one of those travel influencers. Hey guys, just chilling with the tallies. >> And we're talking about Taliban, not al-Qaeda. There's a big difference. >> Not al-Qaeda. Yeah. >> Sorry guys. There's a huge difference. >> Forgive our insulence. >> We're not offended. >> Not the Muhajin. >> No. Yeah. Not that. >> Yeah. But it does change the look at things when I would watch them. I'm just like, "Oh, >> they're just misunderstood people, >> you know? It's cool. They're just shooting AKs cuz they want to." Like, this is kind of fun. >> We always wanted to make a JK theme park, but it never came to life. >> You even seriously thought about that? >> Yeah. I mean, look at all the failing theme parks. We could probably get it on a like a dime, you know? Like, we could get it like so cheap. >> What would the What would the worlds be? >> Now, it's got to change. I think we have to change it. One would be like the careful corner. So you just it's like
9:17 it's like >> it's the opposite of woke America, you know? So you could >> people were yelling slurs everywhere. >> You could just be the most craziest mo you it's like the most freeing place. >> Uhhuh. >> But also the most bigoted place. >> I I figured you'd want it to be like culturally relevant to like your Japanese history. >> We'll have that. >> We'll have We'll have Shogun's Playground. >> No, but like I figured you'd want it to be like the internment camp experience. Oh, the America, the Japanese American experience. >> I could see Omocron's haunted house where someone goes in, it's just a little kid goes in or whatever and it's specified to him. Like his eye gets scanned when he goes in and then he hears Ryan's voice. He's like, "Hello, Kevin Ob. >> It's like the ET ride at Universal >> and it's specific to the kid's individual fears because you researched this kid on the using the dark web for
10:07 so long. So, it's just an omccron haunted house. the mind of almost destroys this these people. Yeah. >> That'd be awful. >> I just like booby traps. >> You know those Japanese TV shows where they're like in a recliner at a spa and the next thing they know you get flipped. They're going down a mountain. >> It's just trapoor world. >> Just a lounge and so you just like sit down on a couch and goes flips lifts you through the wall. >> Craps everywhere. >> Japanese game show, dude. >> Yep. >> Bart Bart's Corner is going to be uh financial land. So you walk in and then they do your taxes. They get your portfolio ready and when you're out like you have >> Bart's like, "Uh, can I jerk off real quick?" >> And you also have like real estate and everything. >> It's like a financial convention. >> Yeah, we'll be we'll have a Sububin's place. >> What's in there? >> Vietnam era. >> What? >> The Vietnam. >> Why would that Vietnam era? Wait. So,
10:57 ████ >> It's No, it's Vietnam era. >> So, the Vietnam War. >> Okay. Well, >> it would be pure jungle, right? >> Okay. Your destination's right in front of you. >> Oh, you want to do that? Like the Viet Kong traps? >> Yeah, Via Kong traps. >> Well, I know a lot of Vietnamese. But then, >> but they're on our side. >> Here's the thing. You're not going to fall into a ████ you know, real life >> bamboo spikes. >> You're going to fall into a bunch of dildos. >> Cuz that's his biggest fear. >> What's the dildos for? >> You ever heard of those traps where you walk and you fall into a bunch of spikes? >> Bamboo. The bamboo spikes with the poop on it. So, you get infected. >> Then you fall into a bunch of dildos. >> Yep. And then a Sububin wax figure. Your mouth lands, your butt land happens when you fall in. >> Huh? >> Subin figure comes out and goes. >> When you fall in, you either the dildo lands on your butt or your mouth. >> Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Or your hands. >> And the whole day you're just going to immediately just feel like nasty.
11:48 >> I had a dick on me. The point of the park is to make you feel shamed. >> You go back to your parents and like what happened to you? Like I fell in the dildo trap. Yeah, it really got me. >> No, you're gonna really think about it. >> No. What really happens is you go nothing. Nothing, Mom. >> Nothing happened. >> The whole ride home. You're going to be like, "That dildo touched my mouth." >> And then you go, "Nothing. It was my fault. Whatever happened, though? I deserved." >> But what does the dildo start have to do with the Vietnam? >> So you >> I'm telling you, the booby trap. The booby trap. >> It's the safe, fun, fun way to have a Vietnam trap. >> The Viet Kong trap. >> Okay. Okay. >> The homophobic Vietnam experience. >> Dude, I feel like you're zoning in on a real niche audience here. >> It's going to end up just Tyler and his homies. >> Yeah. It's going to be a >> just they want to keep going over and over and over. >> I was just saying that's like yo this is not the intention of the place and Tyler's like I love what you've done to the place Subie like
12:38 >> shirtless gay guys in jean shorts and sandals and they're like I ████ love this place. This place is incredible. >> That's pretty good for WeHo. Yeah. >> Yeah. >> Who would have thought that the gay guys paradise was the Vietcom? >> Honestly, I didn't think it was going to go that far. I just said I just wanted a dildo as a booby trap. That's it. >> All of his booby traps are >> want any reason to have a dildo pit? >> Yeah. Yeah, I just think it would be funny to fall into a bunch of >> dildos. Are there mosquitoes there? >> Bunch. >> Well, you imported the mosquitoes. >> Yeah, I imported from Africa. >> Oh, hell no. >> You imported mosquito. >> Why not from Vietnam? You said it was a V. >> No, but if we're going to have mosquitoes, we need the African mosquitoes. >> Why? What's What's special about that? >> It's stronger. >> We're going to theme park features mosquitoes. >> I don't know. >> Those are But let's be honest, that'd be scary, right? If you if you know you got mosquitoes from Africa, you'd be terrified. I think I think >> so in like a a theme park with a bomb in
13:28 the middle of it. >> Oh, that's that's death. >> You know, Disneyland actually spends money to get rid of their mosquitoes and we're going to spend money to buy mosquitoes. >> Mosquitoes is crazy. >> You crazy. >> But that's what JK theme park will be. >> Come on. That's my corner. >> Yeah, >> that's true. Yeah. Don't go in that corner. >> I feel like I feel like Steve's corner is going to be uh a crypto casino >> 100%. It's just gonna be like walking into Vegas, but all the machines and everything is just like different. >> But then everything's going down the whole time. >> Whole time. It's just red all everywhere. >> It's all going down. And then someone's just over your shoulder going, "Hey, it's the perfect time to buy." >> Yeah. Hell yeah. >> Like you just you waiting 10 months. >> Some guy is in a wheelchair and he's like this. He's like, "It's scoopy season, baby.
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