0:00 [Music] a subway worker uh like like foot long subways ah five dollars yeah i had to clarify yo is this still five dollars no hell no bruh it's like they're venti or some ████ they're fantastic they got it they got a new one i forgot i was at a subway recently let me explore their menu comes in a cup they said we're giving away a million subs classic stunts got the foot long and then they got this new one that i saw and i'm like damn that's a big ass trace lay chase
0:52 just three sandwiches on top of each other all cheese shopping wet milk between you ever had a milk sandwich like a party one sandwich yeah when you go to a party and someone had a big ████ subway you're just like wow they're like that's a crazy like these people are bald or we had this one kid in my sixth grade class he would like during lunch he would go to the fence and his mom would pass this up with you and i thought he was the most bothered ████ kid or yummy kid ever because everyone's eating cafeteria food and this was getting the ████ subway through the fence yeah that's when the subway was hot bro crazy that's what it was for the weight loss it was the heyday
1:44 went to subway to hang out yeah yeah yeah the cookies are firing right in bro he looked back she probably just forgot to pack his lunch and she ████ had to buy him some way we're eating ████ taco bells and ████ tacos we're good man it does sound good you guys remember when subway had like newspaper walls yes yeah it was like and it was like pretty old-timey deli it was all tummy daily i was more of a quiz notice guys i'm not gonna lie i knew a couple of those kids didn't know i was gonna offend this fool's core um so a subway worker was actually shot dead whoa in front of her son oh after an argument with a customer about too much mayo on his sandwich why is her son at her work i have no idea probably to take away to witness the death oh wow that's dark police uh police said
2:36 officers responded to the shooting uh in atlanta uh at a gas station actually there's a subway gas station one of those um it's another anthony article oh you didn't even preface this that this one's gonna be sad we're making ████ fun sandwich jokes so now it's like not funny yeah dude subway subway's ████ sad dude i was in front of riverside see that's the preface i said subway nowadays riverside and i was like okay cool i was getting like my wheels put on i'm just getting a ████ lunch so i go in there and there's this crazy homeless like this taking a shower at the soda fountain oh no and then uh i was looking at i was like okay i'm gonna look at the workers maybe they i don't know they have eyes on this and it was like these two ladies that were scared for their life and i'm like oh ████ so what did you do as the man in the subway did you run away too no i went to go order my sandwich you ordered the whole sandwich
3:27 and you just let this dude i don't know what that is ████ having a soda bag get a drink and you're like oh excuse me no i ordered a bottle of drinks i have to deal with his ass true luxury right there you gotta get a cookie the cat a wish the subway cookies city boy dude have you tried um have you tried firehouse subs it's good it's good yeah it's like a fireman theme it's like a fire department they donate all this ████ to the bunch of firemen is that in vegas only no it's like in california too it's a chain yeah yeah but they're usually like in the desert i feel like there's a desert prerequisite for a firehouse sub i've never seen it outside yeah i've actually been uh boycotting subway for the last like probably like 20 years it's pretty gross dude on purpose because yeah like literally any single time somebody is like hey let's get like subway or something like who ████
4:18 asks for wait i love that you're so ████ done before you've actually said yo let's get some sometimes sometimes like a production shoot or something like that you'd be like subways for lunch or whatever well no that makes sense because it's cheap but i would still not eat a boycott all the time because i ████ hate it i had a little twinkle in my eye when i talked about subway number one one time one time i got food poisoning from a subway right so that just makes you feel type one what was the order but i don't know what's up meatball i love it but it was actually uh another time i went into a subway and this is with an ex-girlfriend at the time during college and i go in there and it's just like this white chick who's working and she's like she looks a little bit younger than me i was in college at the time she looked a little bit younger right and then uh she was kind of personable it's one of those hey welcome subway type stuff i don't remember what i might have been an ████ a little bit about it but i i think i cracked some sort of like light
5:09 joke definitely it wasn't anything to merit some weird ass psychotic behavior and then she looks at me um what does she say she does i don't even think she says anything she just changes her attitude looks at me like this is something not a comedy [Applause] you want tuna you want the ████ meatball what do you want it might have been the case but she was ████ she looks at me pissed off she stares at me like she's going to literally hurt my family she stares at me in a ████ very very malicious way uh while she's trying to fix my sandwich the energy is really weird and then after that i was like dude i'm never gonna ████ order subway again if she were though that's not on subway i know but still i think it was i think it was you dude i want to know what the joke was
5:59 subway corporate came down and was like and when anthony lee walks in the door ████ that guy you to anthony he's like yo who's got the sticky ████ huh hey once you close your legs there sweetheart whoa whoa whoa i didn't order the tuna fish yet i don't know why she's so bad why is she so ████ mad ████ women right walks it drops a sticky ████ jumping ████ up boy anthony walks in and the bell rings from the door and he's like he's like whoa i thought that was a bell was around your ████ neck your cow ████ cow just anthony from the 1940s you guys know anthony that's what he's really like i don't know what i said
6:50 what's the ████ big idea it's just a ████ joke it goes into rodney dangerfield oh man non-stop ball crapper the whole time because they're bad they're really bad for it maybe we can start a gofundme for that branch of subway that you ████ yeah level it bring it to the ground you know what you know what i'm like still curious of how come you have friends who say who volunteer and say i want subway like no jimmy johns no ████ no no you know i mean at least the quiznos yeah jersey mice i mean come on man or a local italian place like this nice little deli right here or even a rouse you know they got a good sandwich which is pretty good actually you know you go to the park they got a nice little deli over the sushi section
7:40 authentic there's definitely an asian person making it always is always is authentic i've never heard of this it's just i don't know it just it breaks my heart man who volunteers subway as an option dude that's disgusting unless you got to take a bath then it's a good place to go unless you're on riverside you have to if you're in riverside dude yeah devastating every time i drive by a subway nobody is ever in there not even workers like because people taking showers i feel like even the people that work there the workers don't come out until you walk in yeah and then they're like they come out of the back get off their little box and they're like all right uh what do you want they put their gloves on and shoot subway gremlins why can't they sit on chairs even they don't they can't afford them yeah subway don't give it to me what did jared do again he molested kids michael i thought he had child porn he probably touched kids he was michael
8:30 jackson all over the world oh say michael jackson he was michael jackson yeah yeah he was for sure he was he definitely wants somebody wonderland neverland jared did have a really good music voice though he was a very musical man was he was he a part of a musical very much so very much so there's a common thing yeah yeah there's a comment you haven't you haven't heard jared soundcloud it's really good are you ████ with me right now did you guys watch the documentary where he was like hanging out with kids and he was like having sleep builders and ████ at the subway subway playground yeah yeah dude all right as much as you guys hate subway what is your favorite go-to there i gotta get the meatball every time am i on a diet or not on a diet oh just like for food for fun oh the meatball then really with cheese cause it's like a pizza in a second i haven't had that in ages that was my kid go to one the meatball black forest ham well that's a good one for fun
9:21 i'm not at subway for fun that's not the problem with the meatball marinara is it's like ████ messy right then in there yet i don't remember the last time i had soda do you guys want to get that for lunch today sounds delicious i want the soup too they probably just get the meat and they just ████ squeeze the ████ juice out and put a microwave yeah that sounds delicious you guys don't like the cold cut trio that's just cool i lived on cold country in the college like but the cold country you gotta get it toasted and then you add it on you know everything about it is joking like two decades yeah probably two decades that's how your boy your boycott's been going on that strong there's so many other options though like jimmy john's firehouse is better yeah together dude anything is better than someone
10:13 this is like the meme though where the like you're in the elevator with jon hamm and then subway is like hey anthony lee i don't even think about you at all doing fine i think without your business mother elevator with john hamm talking about subway's future mad men he's just like i don't think about you at all i only know it from meme form it's never never even seen that scene before [Music]
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