0:00 We got a comment again on one of our posts when I asked if you have any questions for us. Thank you very much Lance Care Els Car Els. All right. [laughter] What would you do if your child comes out the opposite color but the DNA still proves it's yours? This has a lot of likes so we know we got a lot of racist fans. >> I would be so insecure about it that I would make sure that all of their wardrobe would somehow link me to the kid. Like we'd have matching clothes and ████ like that. >> possible cuz she's part Filipino, you know. >> That's fair. But I'm just saying like I would be insecure about it. >> Can I just just so we can be explicit, what is opposite color for my color palette? >> So what I took was if we're yellow then the kid comes out blue. >> On the spectrum or or just >> Is it an Avatar? >> Cuz if you really if you really think
0:51 about it >> So like a black kid. >> We're all pretty white so yeah, black kid. >> Just black for all of us really, right? So like a Not you, you're darker. >> Darker than black? >> Says it's mine. >> Damn, I'd start questioning my parents. >> Oh >> Like maybe some genetic ████ didn't yeah, pass through me and I'm like, yo who the ████ are my grandparents? >> People do be finding out ████ like what the ████ I was part Cherokee? Like you know they find out ████ later on. >> But like if I get a full black kid, full DNA testing it's mine >> Super black. >> Yeah, super black. Like I'm talking like they're going to be in a magazine or fashion runway because like that's like almost coveted black, right? >> I don't know what the opposite would be for me then cuz I maybe it's actually white. >> Yeah. >> yours would be albino black. >> Cuz you're already dark brown. What the >> Like Blake Griffin-ish.
1:41 >> Blake Griffin? Well then that would >> Because of smack you'd have like a little redhead kid and wouldn't even be crazy for people. >> I think like if if a kid came out extra black that could just really be my family cuz like two generations up and we look like ████ black guys. >> What if they're like Grace Jones? >> With a hell of a black. >> Like 80's Grace Jones. >> But what if it was like blonde hair, blue-eyed like >> that's That's more weird. >> No, no, no, no, because but smack is like white enough where it's like it's connected. It's got to be like strict like Mexican. >> But usually the the dominant gene when that you know like when when Isn't that happen most of the time if like the dad is black and the mom is white? Usually it's going to be like a >> Don't they meet in the middle? Remember that white black guy? Who had black He was black but he Your friend, the fitness guy. He looks like He looks 100% white. >> higher What's the higher rate? >> Oh, yeah, he did.
2:31 >> What's the highest rate? >> Like what's the dominant gene? >> What's the higher rate of appearance? Not like what's a guy you know. Like what's the >> I think I think most of the time it's like >> No, no, only guys you know. >> You don't think anecdotal evidence is important? >> I think it's like Zendaya where it's like in the middle. >> Okay. All right. >> That's what I I mean like statistically with my eyes. >> I would assume black. >> They look like Lenny Kravitz. >> Let's say your kid looks like Djimon Hounsou, dude. >> Who? >> Djimon Hounsou. You don't know the star, dude? >> You know the main thing that I'm worried about because I don't see color and I don't see race and I ████ love everybody and I'm not racist and ████ and if I had a black kid, I'm 100% down with that ████ I'm worried I'm worried that people will think that I'm a kidnapper. >> Oh, yeah. Yeah, that's true cuz that happened. Did you see that video that viral video? Of it was some white guy and he had an adopted black baby. >> In New York? >> Yeah, and then all like a bunch of black
3:21 people were like who WHOSE KID IS THAT? AND THEN HE was just following him around recording him. >> Oh, Djimon Hounsou. >> Yeah, Djimon Hounsou, dude. >> Djimon Hounsou? >> Digimon? You think his name is Digimon? >> Digimon. >> Like Pokémon? >> I don't know. >> It's Djimon, dude. >> Djimon. >> So yeah, what if it's that? >> [laughter] >> What are you guys more worried about? The color or the stereotypes? >> You know, I would rather have >> Cuz what if what if your kid looks perfectly your complexion but started stealing? >> Oh. >> Lots of base. >> Woah, I wasn't expecting that. >> He doesn't wear headphones. >> [laughter] >> Yeah. Then what are you more worried about that? Or are you more worried about the skin color? >> Now that I saw that video that we were talking about, I'd be more freaked out if I I would rather have a light ass kid. Cuz I feel like white people would
4:12 give me less ████ if my kid didn't look like me than than than if I had a black baby. >> both ways. I think for white people there's going to be a Karen that goes, "That baby's ████ kidnapped. Why does that ████ ████ have a white baby?" >> I could inverse I could inverse Karen them and be like, "Oh, what? You got a problem with this? You got a problem with it?" >> Yeah, exactly. You have a defense of like political correctness. >> You used me, bigot? Like that guy. >> Excuse me, you >> yeah. You can You can out-woke. That's true, yeah. >> That guy's [laughter] mad funny, dude. >> Excuse me, bigot? >> Oh, really, you ████ bigot? You ████ bigot? >> No, I think they'll give ████ to a uh uh they'll give ████ to another white guy that has a black baby, but not an Asian guy with a white baby. Like that's not really going to be the >> I'll just pretend like I'm the nanny. Oh, I'm a baby sitter, you know? They hire me to be baby sitter. >> You'd rather pretend to be the nanny than just say you're his dad? >> No, I'm I'm scared.
5:02 >> What if your kid can understand what you're saying? So, they're like, "Why doesn't he ever want to be my dad?" >> [laughter] >> No, I'll just be like I'll just like push the carriage and ████ They're like, "What you doing with that baby?" Cuz I'm in >> [laughter] >> And it's like all these white PEOPLE I'M LIKE, "OH, I'M JUST A ████ you know? I'm a I'm a hired to be a baby sitter." >> Oh, the Beatles came here. >> Yeah. I'm a I'm a work for a very rich white family. >> If you're the UK, then it's the same the same rules apply. They're going to be too scared to call you out. >> Yeah, exactly. >> They can go to jail for getting >> They're woke as ████ over there. >> Yeah. >> I'm a Chinese Mary Poppins. >> They'll be like, "You don't got to do all that." >> [laughter] >> They're like, "We already think you're cool." >> What if they don't even question me? >> Yeah, we get it, brother. We get it. You don't have to do it, though. >> I don't even need to do it. I'm just paranoid. Hi, I'm a mayor pop ass. I'm a nanny. >> Fake babies are surprising though cuz I remember when Taika first came out, I
5:53 was like, "How are you 100% Asian?" Like there was like zero geo in the baby. And I'm like, "What the f███?" And maybe even for the first 2 months, I'm like, "Man, I made a baby by myself." >> So good. >> Yeah, it took a while before >> an egg out. >> [laughter] >> I menstruated. >> Yeah, babies are ████ tricky. >> My baby has no Filipino right now. >> At all? >> But as the years go, for sure, just like Taika, you know, he's going to start to look more >> your kid came out looking nothing like you or your wife? Like you got a ████ Nordic baby. >> Taika, oh, I mean, Taika look like >> Like Holland. >> Like a el >> [laughter] >> Like Holland. He's got the hair already. He's huge. >> What if you had a ████ Yeah, like a Peter Dinklage just popping out. >> Peter Dinklage looks nothing like your kid. >> I don't know if I'll focus on skin color at that point. >> [laughter]
6:43 >> Yeah. >> Well, it's a double whammy. >> There's other things to worry about. >> Do you really want your kid to look like you? Is that a big deal to you? >> Look like me? I would 100% rather it look like Nina. >> Especially as a girl, right? >> No, but I know so like my So like my neighbor, I was just at a party a 4th of July party, and my neighbor is like, "Oh my god, everyone thinks that Sophia looks exactly like me. Every ████ body thinks Sophia looks exactly like me." And I'm like I'm like, "She looks literally nothing like you." He's like, "Oh, well, you're alone on this, bro." He's like, "Look at this." And he starts showing people at the party pictures of his daughter, and everyone agreed with me. He just completely wrecked himself because he wants it too bad. >> I guess it's like you said, over the years, it just kind of goes back and forth, doesn't it? >> Yeah. >> Well, like the first 2 or 3 months, I think Asian genes are just crazy strong. >> I hate myself so much. I have so much internalized racism. If I see a ████ ████ ass baby pop out, I'll be like,
7:33 "What the ████ I didn't marry white for this s███." >> I think I'll have a ████ ass baby for like 3 months. >> Cuz I want it too bad. >> If you have a ████ ass baby with ginger hair, that's going to be tight. >> That's pretty cool. >> Hey, type in Japanese ginger. There's a picture of a Japanese ginger and I was like, ████ this ugly ████ >> I think I followed this family that's like this. >> Just type in Brazilian Japanese women. >> Let me SHOW YOU. >> NO, THAT'S GINGER. >> YEAH, no ████ >> THAT'S JAPANESE GINGER. >> [laughter] >> DUDE, THAT'S GREAT. That's great. >> Refrigerate after opening. [laughter] >> THIS GUY ████ >> OH, this guy? >> Tech buffoons. >> Dude, that's Japanese That's Japanese ginger. >> What the hell?
8:23 >> Dude, that's the ████ villain from Fist of Fury IN THE BEGINNING. >> [laughter] >> THAT'S HIM. >> I ████ abhorred his ass. >> That's that smug Japanese guy that's ████ with the >> He eat the paper. That looks like the Monkey King. >> This kid. What the hell? >> I'd ████ kick him back into the goddamn ether. That's fake hair. >> That's definitely fake. Definitely fake. Definitely fake. >> [laughter] >> No, there's an actual real like That's crazy. Asian family where the kid the kids cuz they're mixed has red hair. >> That's cool. >> She's super cute. It's like a little daughter. >> So [laughter] good. >> That's my ████ >> Right? >> No, I want my kids to look Asian. >> [laughter] >> I don't want to >> Like at their at their final form. I want people to look at them and go ████ Like that's how Asian I want them to look. >> The fact that JOE NO, THAT'S JAPANESE
9:14 GINGER. >> That's why I was He's like, no, pull up that one. I'm like, I have to pull this up. Are you crazy? >> [laughter] >> Dude, that's so funny. >> Pull up Japanese ginger. >> I feel like I feel like You guys You guys's kid because it's going to be so Asian looking at the get, but then got like the ginger going on. That's what looks like anime. >> Yeah. >> All anime people are never like straight Asian. That's the ████ romanticized version of it. >> Yeah, it's like this kid with a wig. >> Okay. >> Oh, you're saying they normally look weird? >> Dude, Japanese and British people are the most inbred ████ on Earth with the most ████ up teeth on Earth. Our kids' teeth are going to look like blender teeth. It's going to be ████ dude. I got the ████ eyes in the world and Hannah got the biggest eyes.
10:04 What the ████ is that going to look like? >> Medium eyes? >> Maybe a Maybe it's perfect in the middle. She's like 5 ████ 12. I'm like 5 5. >> [laughter] >> Like >> I feel like you're thinking like Quasimodo's going to come out. It's like her one big eye, your one ████ eye, her ████ >> just meet in the middle. It might be perfect. >> I got a full head of hair. All the men in our family are bald. Like I'm like, what the ████ is going to happen? >> Take your your Asian settings and it'll be pulled to the middle, probably. >> Yeah, like sliders on the Sims creator. >> Yeah. >> No, Joe's making Quasimodo, dude. But I guarantee they're going to get the ugliest things and they're going to get mad. They're going to be like, "Why couldn't I have the dope ████ that you had?" I'm going to be like, "I'm sorry, dude." He's going to have my short genes, right? >> Okay. >> Her bald brother's hair. >> I think height I think height might come from the the mother. >> I don't think so, dude. I don't think so. My mom is like 5 ████ 4, dude.
10:56 >> Yeah, how'd that happen with you? >> My dad's 6 ft 2. >> Oh, ████ Well, there you go. >> So, I'm 6 4. So, it worked out. >> All All the the men in Hannah's family are tall and all the women are petite. [laughter] >> Sorry, how is your grandma tall? >> No, she's 5 ████ foot. >> Both of them? >> Whoa. She's Asian size. >> No, no, your You have two grandmas. I'm saying >> I never knew my other grandma. Grandma Green didn't know her. She died in a bank. Is that okay? >> In a bank? Was she robbing it? >> Is that show show with you? >> No, she had scarlet fever when she was a kid and then it ████ with her heart and she just died randomly one day. >> At a bank? >> Yeah. And she's in line at >> Why was she depositing or withdrawing? >> I think she just saw her balance and she's like, "How old do we >> Can we do 15? >> Yeah, >> we do 15. >> Well, she opened a HELOC. >> [laughter] >> Kind of sad. Scarlet fever, I read a book about that. The Velveteen >> that's Scarlet Letter, BROTHER. >> [laughter] >> SCARLET FEVER.
11:47 >> NO. NO, HE'S ACTUALLY RIGHT. Velveteen Rabbit. >> The Velveteen Rabbit. >> No, dude. Anne of Green Gables had scarlet fever, too. >> Damn, you're good.
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