0:00 thank you [Music] what up guys welcome back to another episode of a off the Record and today we have a very special edition one so we all know that Ryan is a musical genius that's right that's hyping it up way hard so that's what he said to say we're gonna do Story Time with Ryan where we share some of our most personal stories and Ryan will score to them and we've we figured a very very good heartfelt sentimental story to start off with was one of the worst ass beatings I ever had as a kid from my dad oh wow all right so I got my tickets on Amazon this is when um I was in second grade I was going to a private school across
0:51 the street from my public school because I already got expelled from the public school and um I had this special skill where I was really really good at uh losing jackets lost jackets every week Tupperware never could come back with my stuff and I think after repeated times my parents got pretty fed up like where the ████ is that jacket I bought you I think it was 50 bucks where's the Tupperware did you even eat the food that I made you and um I just never had an answer for it so this time my dad picked me up or my parents already divorced he uh picked me up from the private school and he's like where's your stuff so we have like this checklist and I opened my backpack no Tupperware and
1:43 then he goes where's your jacket no jacket and so he goes come over here I'm like okay he takes me into the bathroom next to the church and he starts ████ wailing on him and I was screaming my brains out because I was ████ seven years old and I'm like and then the school secretary came in and shut the door she said what's going on in here and I'm like help me Mrs Mason [Music] threw me into his blue uh Mazda truck and we drove home when we drove home uh he opened the door and he threw me
2:34 inside and he locked the door and so the only place that I knew at that house that I knew that I was safe because all doors have locks right and then they have keys I can open except for the master bedroom bathroom is the kind that could only be locked from the inside so I ran in there I locked the door and I just hear my dad was like really scary I was like holy ████ I was so scared and it was it didn't make any sense but when you're six or seven you get so scared being in there that you're like ████ I'll come out so you open the door when I open the door he starts kicking me uh smacking punching me all over the room uh through the hallway living all that
3:24 and then we go into the backyard and uh on the side door there's a fence and there's like a straight away and I started speeding up I think I was running so fast and after my dad picked up a baseball bat [Laughter] [Music] enough bruise on my leg but I was so scared that I couldn't stop so I just kept running and I knew that the door so I knew I had a split second to as soon as it swings back I have to make one of those moves as my dad comes out he's like what the ████ video
4:14 so as soon as I ran through that door all night you got to be smart about this if I continue to run far which is what my dad thinks he's gonna track me down but you know how they have they say like keep your friends close by enemies closer I was like if I hide at home he's never gonna think I'm even at home so I I ran out and I immediately made a quick left and here's this little wall separating our house the driveway to my neighbors and there's a bush right here so I went right around the bush and I uh I I hid behind the bush so my dad just like how I thought he would be gets in his ████ blue monster truck bones out into the street [Music]
5:06 uh come back around and go just back and forth kind of like uh kind of like a shark in the ocean [Music] yeah it's back in front back and forth and then I think finally he gave up and um that's when I went home and I didn't know what to do because I really felt my life was in danger so I called my mom and I I told her everything and this was the uh it wasn't like God was disciplining me it was almost like I felt like Dad was gonna kill me so uh we ended up my mom had to file a restraining order until there's a period of time when my dad couldn't see me because how bad he beat my ass and to even go through the whole core process how to take all these like pictures over like butt naked and stuff to show all the bruising all over the body and that was the worst ass beating I
5:56 ever got [Applause] [Music] wow that was a treat [Laughter] roses in here who gives a ████ you'll ████ the news right it is from now on oh dude it's short and sweet to kind of it's a midge it was sweet though it was sweet definitely the ending was the best part when they took pictures of Bart's bruises [Laughter] that is ████ crazy dude but the music helped the time that you couldn't see him I think it was like at least a few years wow yeah damn yeah how soon after was
6:50 the Ethan Allen incident oh that was like maybe maybe four or five years later when you're helping your dad buy a house recently do you um do you go into the master bedroom and in the bathroom and go oh look Dad it's uh only one-way lock wouldn't that be coming handy someday damn oh no it's crazy though because like my dad will see me even just like be Stern with taika and he's like don't you talk to him I'm like bro you ████ beat the ████ out of me he was trying to make up for it dude I've swung the baseball bat we had an old wooden one he just picked them just but because I think I'm just getting away yeah so I think there's a time where it goes from like he thought I was gonna wrap around your ankles
7:41 it goes from one to a cartoon disciplining the kid to like I need to win this ego battle you know well luckily it was really light-hearted when taking me out to the ball game started playing huh it could have been a lot of child abuse but I was feeling really happy that that honestly the soundtrack made that like child abuse case sound like way better way better than by the way you guys don't know what you're missing out on because we were just spitballing like hey Ryan play this over the break and dudes like ████ can play anything that he listens to it's ridiculous it's easy enough oh please but everything's easy to hit no it's time literally everything's easy we're like come on dude most easy for you yeah that's not gonna happen anyways dude yeah he did he did YMCA like happy he did one different ways he did it happy sad like triumphant yeah like like a little a little cheerful yeah you know
8:31 a little understated he did that ████ song me and Anthony were singing yesterday what's what's that one which one oh oh oh the other one yeah Andre Bocelli oh the one that will uh Will Ferrell does it's stepbrother so yeah Time to Say Goodbye basically goodbye foreign [Music]
9:41 oh this is when the the Angels win the pennant and then that doesn't come anyway and then it cuts to the bar where the dad's just ████ drunk and ████ like that in the bar one more time and then but then they play YMCA and the dad's like oh yeah the spirits are back up okay well great job awesome Legend thanks for sharing
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