0:00 [Music] Welcome to a bizarre episode of Cafe Boys where I am hosting from the other side of the room. This is actually the first time ever in the history of JK News in the last We've never did this in 12 years. Are we breaking boundaries? Are we finally Are we breaking glass ceilings? This is going to bring everyone back. Yeah. This probably be 100k video. Revolutionary. You're going to like this topic. Okay, here we go. If you had to do a reality show with your wife, which show would it be? What do you mean? Like one that already exists. It could already ex Well, yeah. Prepar. Oh, I thought cuz I thought you meant like we naked and afraid. Dude, that was naked. You do naked and afraid with Nina. Naked and afraid. Baby, everyone dies and gets parasites. Why naked and afraid?
0:50 Get tick. Well, it's because we actually really enjoy watching alone. But the thing is, why would we be alone? Oh, do it together. and naked. Wait, if you're doing naked and afraid, are you competing with other couples that are naked and afraid? You're trying to last. Yeah, you're just trying to last 24 hours. Is it? No, that's like it's like 5 days, 3 days. Really? Like that? Yeah, but you're a couple, but you're against them and they're in a different place though. Like he might be in Africa while the other pl like they're in Brazil or what? Wow. Oh, so it's not the same place. It's either that or it's like this was a really s█████ season of Alone where they had partners. So just alone but with your partner. I don't even know what alone is. They did alone with partners. They had one season where they did it. It was really bad. Yeah, it must not be a garbage show cuz I don't know about it. There's like nine seasons. Alone is good, bro. Alone is so good. Oh, see, I don't like really good show. That's like people like Amazing Race. I'm like, it's too class for me. I'm garbage. What's Alone? Alone is you you
1:40 get like 10 people get stuck on an island and they have to Well, in the middle of the woods they usually do in Canada. And is it the one where like see who lasts the longest? They get 10 items. They get dropped off in like uh basically like fall like right before fall or fall time. And then no matter what, whoever wins, like they're well into winter. Like the lake's frozen over. So now you're either ice fishing or you save some ████ up. You had to catch like an elk and then you had to like smoke that ████ so it would last forever. Shelter needs to be freaking dope. Wow. And it's crazy because the first season it was just like a reality TV show where it's like you win $100,000 or whatever. People signed up, but they weren't exactly like the best of the best. And then when it got famous, people who were like, I'm Ranger Rick to like all the way to like, you know, I I work in like bushcraft my entire life. Like those gangsters started coming into the show. So people started having mad skills, building the craziest shelters. Their
2:30 hunting, their traps were crazy. So it's like really really fun to watch. Look at this guy right here. He's He's missing what I'm missing. I like drama. I like catty ████ yelling at each other, but they're alone and they have to film themselves the entire time as a vlog. So like they start going crazy because you're by yourself for 3 months. Like you start talking nonsense. You start breaking down. Like some guys kill it so hard at the beginning where they built everything up where they're just out there by themselves and they get too comfortable and they go, "Man, I miss my family." And they start thinking about that all the time. The second they say that it's always over cuz there's nothing to do. They go, "Yeah, cuz they ████ killed it." But then some guys are struggling so hard. There was one guy who was catching so many rabbits, he kept losing calories because he was like, "I need something more fatty cuz it was too lean." And he just was like, "This isn't enough of calories." Like, it's crazy. Sounds like a Mr. Beast video. He did it first. He don't try to talk to the cameraman. No, it's just
3:21 them. They They got to vlog it. I need you to support me. Mr. Beast did it first. Bro, I think you would really like Alone. I think you'd really like it. I just like too much ████ catty ████ drama. I nominate I nominate Nick and Tiff for Temptation Island. Oh my god. Yes. What's that one about? You would be the Mononttoya. What's that one about? Be Mononttoya. No, I'm not going to be the Mononttoya, dude. You're the Mononttoya. No way, dude. You play Tabari. You have a good explanation. So, Temptation Island is where you go on a show and then they just throw ████ at you the whole time, right? And then and then if you're a chick, they bachelor. They throw dicky the whole time. And then your job is to try to survive as a couple. The temptation of the island. You dig that? So, there's one there's one one couple and everyone else is single. There's a bunch of couples and and it's like, "Hey, try not to ████ everybody while you're They put you in very suggestive situations."
4:11 Like you're in a jacuzzi tub with like an attractive lady. You're like one girl with five hot dudes around. But like while your wife is doing the same thing somewhere else, you're paired up with another person somewhere else. So you It's just a date. And the mind games that she's probably doing something is going to make you do something. Yep. Hey, does that sound more fun than catching a pig? Complain the rap. It's too lean. And then Mononttoya is like a break. You guys are missing gold. Now, alone is hard, bro. I I really like Alone. Sounds pretty. I know it doesn't. You're just not manly enough. I was going to say Naked and Freddy cuz Alone sounds too crazy. Like I wouldn't last ████ 45 minutes in Alone. But that's why they had that one season where they are partnered. Yeah. But then might as well be naked. You know what I'm saying? I nominate Bart and Gio for um Love on the
5:04 Spectrum. And you got to like convince us that you're legit. Oh god. I'll tell you what I'm doing. So good. That would be really good. I'm going to do one of the ████ Disney level HGTV shows where it's like pool wars or something. Pool Wars. Wa. They put a grotto in his pool. That's so boring. I know for Storage Wars. Oh yeah. I would love to do that. Storage Wars is a big game. You don't know Love on the Spectrum? You got to watch Love on the Spectrum. It's good. Autistic people dating. Autistic people dating. Dude, imagine Bart right now. Bart on camera. They got downs, too. They got like all kinds. Bart on camera right now. Bart Bart's face right now. Bart likes working out. McDonald's. And he's like this. And the color blue. No, fam. Who's that one?
5:54 Ding ding ding ding ding ding ding. Who's that one guy on Love on a Spectrum that goes and he stutters a lot? The glasses guy with long hair. He's like a white guy. Yeah. He's like, I just don't know if I have chocolate frogs. Yeah, that guy. That guy. Yeah, my favorite is Sword Guy, dude. Just uh don't know if Sword Guy's the best one by far. But no one likes the girl with the glasses. Huh? Everyone hates her. She's too hot. She's too hot to be on the show. It's not She's not autistic. She's just an ████ Everybody likes the guy that's like, "Uh, I He's like He'll He'll be on a date and be like, "Do you like animals?" And the girl's like, "Yeah, I like animals." And he's like, "I do, too. I like frogs. I like cats. That's the one I like." Yeah. Yeah. I like salmon. Salmon. I like And he'll just list them all. He go he doesn't stop. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. And then he knows to ask her a question because his mom drilled it in his head. She's like, "After you say 45 things, you better ask
6:44 her a question, too." And then he's like, "Uh, what about you?" And then she'll just answer one time. And then he goes back on a list. I like the dude that's like, "Was I supposed to do that?" And then they're like, "No, that was rude." He goes, "Darn." Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I like that kid, too. Yo, but then when they kissed though that for some reason it just feels like so real like wholesome. I'm going to kiss you now. Is that okay? Okay. There was a kid. What's the Indian kid? His name is like a like ████ I was going to say Abu, but it's not Abu. You're probably close. Yeah, it's close. But his mom will say something and like she'll like she'll talk to like the family and he'll be like, "Are you done talking yet?" And everybody's like, "Okay." Whoa. Jeez. Yeah, you'd kill you probably win. You probably do the whole thing. What would
7:34 I What am I do? I'm trying to like win Jill's love or something or how does that work? It just documents your relationship. Yeah. Wait, but doesn't Jill have to be kind of on the spectrum, too? Well, not necessarily. Sometimes it's only one person that is. You're not trying to win someone's love. You're already there with It's just them watching you date. I think this is just our way of saying you're ████ I know. I am. No, I think you could do a good job. Like it would be great with artistic. I think you'd sell it because they'll be like, "Look how this guy is and he has and he has a relationship." Neurodyiver, but I think you would have a good time like if if you knew you had to like play it up to like blend in. Dude, I want love on the Spectrum meets Temptation Island. But I need that. If if there was that thing where it's like one season of Love on the Spectrum had one person that was faking it, everybody would watch that ████ Even more when we were doing try to find the guy that's not legit. Like Edward Norton. No. Nine
8:26 guys were faking it. One guy is real. No, everyone's faking it. Every everyone's gay, but one guy is real. The best ever. Wait, what did you want me to fake? Being being normal or being ████ Being ████ I have to fake being ████ Yeah, you have to destroy your name and reputation. I don't think that when we were doing skids, Bart had this character. It was a re had me in tears. His name was Basketball and that was his name. And then he would such a sick name. Do you like basketball? How'd you come up with his character? I don't know. We're just like messing around. I remember we would we would he would go off script all the time and I would not be able to stay in character cuz the way he played him was so real but so ████ stupid. Yeah. And I was like that's the character I need to see on Love on the Spect. Yeah. There
9:16 should be one person faking it. Really funny. I also love Love is Blind but I don't know how many Niku go on that show. Yeah. So that's that doesn't work. You guys would find each other and stuff. Yeah. You know, I want to see Steve on Extreme Makeover. Extreme Makeover with the all the with all the Gabe with the gaming. Gaming. Yeah. Queerey Eye. Quite eye to see him on Queerey Eye as one of the queer guys. Oh, you have to play one. He has to play a game. What your special? I want to see him go through the ring of all of them judging him and trying to fix him. Dude, he gets the hair right when he gets to the hairdresser. I can't work with this. ████ you, man. Let me just see. I can't work with this. Yeah, it's okay. We're all I show my hair all the time. Oh my god. I can't work with this. I cannot work with this when I I would love it if you guys pay the hairdresser like you got a special
10:07 effects makeup artist or whatever and then the hairdresser takes off my hat and then they take out a gun and just blow their ████ What up, guys? Come join our Patreon cuz there's hundreds of videos dating back to 2019. Support the channel's growth and new ideas and tap into the closer community by joining our Discord. Come chat with me inside and then you can say funny things to me and get the opportunity to suggest new video ideas. Come join our Patreon. Thank you. Link is in the description box below. I would love it if you I mean obviously you would both be playing into it but you and Nikki on 90Day Fiance. Oh dude I don't know man. That's my biggest regret. I want to take one person's spot on 90day fiance who deserves to be there. Stupid. Me and Hannah would have
10:59 been great on it cuz it was actually a 90day fiance kind of situation. That's true. It was legit. And then she was like I would play the character of like going overboard trying to be super Asian to make you happy. Oh, that's funny. So, she'll be like in kimonos and all that. And then there'll be my family members that don't even speak Japanese. And we're just like, I don't know why she's acting this way. We don't even speak Japanese. And then like that would be third gen. Yeah. And she's all trying her best to like, oh, I heard that in your culture you do this ████ You know what we could actually probably do is the circle. Oh, the social media one. It's like you're you're all trapped in like an apartment or whatever and everyone's in different rooms and then you're trying to trick everybody like ally with everybody in order to like get everyone voted out but you. How does that like Mafia? It's like Mafia but yeah it's a it's a social media like um
11:49 Netflix show and uh it's really got really bad show. Very terrible show and that's why we love it. I got a low hanging fruit one just so that Bart doesn't have to submit only to being a person of neuro divergence. But I have a lot of that stuff. I understand. Um you don't even have to speak on this one. But I do kind of want to just see Bart go in physical 100. I love that. See where he competes. So, it's basically a reality show this Korean produced where they just grabbed like the first thing was they grabbed a hundred uh 100 physically like top tier like Olympians, like um bodybuilders, fitness gurus, whatever from Korea. Yeah. All wide range though, like rock climbers, all of them different, but just the top in their craft. And then they they just had a series of physical challenges to see who was the most like apex physical being. Oh yeah. Who won?
12:41 Like electrician or something? No way. the cross the crossfit guy in the last one did. Wow. Didn't he? One of them was like a climber or something. His name was like uh it started with a a but he was the he was a crossfit dude. He that guy was good. A crossfit or one. I think the first one wasn't like a ice climber guy. Yeah, it was like a climber or something like that. I figured climbers would probably do the best. Yeah, that's crazy. But I like low key feel like Bart trains for this kind of thing. Yeah, but he could I couldn't even beat me in arm wrestling. Couldn't even beat Steve in arm wrestling. Well, luckily that's not one of the things you have to do. Oh, okay. It's stuff like there's like a giant cage and then everybody has to hang on and then you try and kick people off. That one was crazy. That's sick. And then I think the person that won hung for 45 minutes. Oh my. I think I've seen clips from the shot. Dead hanging. And then the one where they just have to hold a boulder like this for as long as they can. Yeah, they were doing like
13:31 sprints on a treadmill, too. They do the coolest ████ Like in the first one where you have to pull that ship. Yeah. Oh, and then more it on the ████ Oh, dude. That was so dope. Well, some of them require teamwork, too. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. So, a lot of people lose because they, you know, they don't know how to like work as a unit. I would love to go on a show like the the Bachelorette just to like pure purely do weird bits to like be the monkey wrench. Be like a ringer. Yeah. Contestant who she does not want to be with. And I But the producers have to be like you're they're in. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. But I keep on I keep cornering this chick and asking her really weird ████ and stuff. Yeah. Yeah. And I'm like, "Hey, I'm like I'm down. Like I'm down. Just so you know, like I want to see this thing through and all that kind of ████ Be like Burning Love. Remember that? Oh, dude. Yes. That was a great show. Underrated, bro. For real. Would you ever do the Ultimate Fighter?
14:21 No, dude. No. What? Being on a fight show. That's a Storage Wars. Storage Wars. I'm just a guy. I just bid on storage. Spent $15,000 on a storage unit and then I go, "Oh god, there's nothing in it." I can't be sold this much. Bunch of blankets. I would love to go and pimp my ride. Oh, that would be Everyone would. Yeah. West Coast Customs. I just tell them what Yeah. I just tell them all these different parts of my life and they turn that into a car. No, you should be the consultant for whenever a person comes in. You're the one that does the whole like, "Oh, so I see that you like popcorn." Well, we put a popcorn machine in. Yeah. You should be that guy. I'd be on pin my ride and then I'd be like, "You guys got to buy me a car first." Like, I don't have a car. Just pimp your chair. Did you have a truck? Did you ever watch that really wholesome Japanese one where it's like
15:11 little kids doing adult? You should do that. I know. I at my age I'm like ████ man. Like the whole neighborhood plans. They just got camera crews everywhere and like little kids doing adult errands. I love that. But it would be funny to send Ta out on one. Oh, that'd be so Have you seen sometimes the cameramen? They're like they have cameras in their suitcases or like they have sh they like pretend to be obstacles sometimes. It's ████ hilarious. I want to see Nick in one of those one versus 100 Japanese things. You ever seen those? What do they do with that? Like the one No, then you're just like walking down an alley and then a hundred guys just start rushing you and they just want to see what you're sprint. Some guys they just stand still and they run past. Even the the um Silent Library, the original all the Silent Library stuff. The Silent Library be ████ hilarious, dude. I love the Silent Library stuff. When that old man
16:01 comes in, starts licking your ear. No, he's biting your ear with no teeth. That one's crazy. You ever seen that one? Like they they pick, you know, they get the card and then something has to happen. One of them was an old man came in. Everyone's sitting like this. He takes his dentures out and he starts making out with your ear. Starts suck on your ear. Yeah, bro. To this day, that's crazy. I'm like, dog. I think I would also enjoy All of Us on like Family Feud. Family Feud would be good. Is that with Steve Harvey? Yeah, Steve Harvey's great. Steve Harvey. That's true. I'm down with that. They choose weird words though. What do you mean? Isn't it just the audience? No, it's like the word show. They'll be like, "Oh, like the survey the survey the survey." It's never the common words. It's like Yeah. It's like ████ name uh I don't know a car part and then it's never like tire or whatever. It's ████ I don't even know.
16:52 That's because that's because it's what the it's what normal people think and you're not a normal person. What? Um really? Yeah. Cuz they they say survey says because that's like every they poll everybody. So, you're thinking of like, why don't they say carburetor? It's like really important. Yeah. Most people don't even know what that is. This isn't a real show, but I think you would be good at this version of it. If you were on the Prices, right, for real estate. Oh, I'd be really good. You got to guess like home values and ████ Gone House Hunters. Tell me ████ city. Be like, here's a blank plot of land in West Hollywood. Yeah. Tell me city instead. I'll probably show an house. Like, oh, probably way under that. Way under way. Way under way under. You'd be really good at that. I think I'd be within 100 grand of something like that. You think that'd be fun to watch? Uh, honestly, watching you talk about real estate, I think it' be good.
17:42 It'd be fun for some people to watch. I want to see Joe on Shark Tank. Oh, I would love to see Joe giving the money. Pitching something. No, you have to pitch something. Not giving them. I'm buy. Okay. I'll be your partner. I'll be your partner. I'll be your partner. I'll buy everybody. I like this one. What would What would you pitch on Shark Tank, do you think? On Shark Tank. I would love to see Joe on Shark Tank, but he's only pitching to Mark Cuban. He's very insulting to everybody else. Yeah. Yeah. Whatever, Mr. Kevin. Uh, you're not my first pick. I don't care. Just shut up, Kevin. I don't want you to be my ambassador. ████ you. I love when Kevin's like, "F███ you, you piece of s███." Mark, I always have my eyes on you anyway. So, hey, you should you should go and uh try to pitch the the thing that shocks the fish and you can catch them easier. Oh my god, that' be hilarious. Really objectively bad. That's not that bad, dude. I think that's a good idea. Actually, the funny thing is that
18:32 already exists and he was pitching it to David as if it's like a new technology. Pitch June be like even more June. I want to see Nikki on Beast Games. There you go. Good out. They barely saw Nikki on Beast Games. Like I think they saw the back of her head. Could you really see the back of her head? I think so.
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