0:05 Welcome to another episode of Careful Boys. Today we have personality expert Bart Quan. >> What the? >> Thank you guys. Thanks for having me. >> Hey, what's a um what's a personality trait that you didn't have the first half of your life, but now you have it in the second half. >> Personality trait like funny. [laughter] Is that the one you want to go with >> like for him? >> Damn, that's crazy. >> Cuz you know, you gain traits like as you go. You know, you you think you're the same guy like and you're so stuck on, you know, like in your early teens, you're just like, "Nah, this is me, man. I'm never going to this is always going to be who I am." And then before you know it, you take on a lot of different Sometimes you take on the traits of your partner. Sometimes you take on >> One is um my willingness to be gay. >> Shut up. >> I'm serious.
0:55 >> That's a personality trait. making gay humor type jokes when you were uh 19. >> I think like um maybe before a certain age, I always wanted to be like cool and then uh and so even if I was being funny, I wanted to be cool funny. I couldn't be like the self-deprecating funny. >> Oh, >> but then now to me like funny is funny. >> Yeah. So whether I'm like dressed as like let's say like like Bruno you know like Sasha Baron Con's Bruno >> American flag bikini. >> Yeah. Or if I'm like doing like a cool funny like Chris Rock or something. They're all funny and I'm just I'm just down to have a good time now. So I'm more down to have a good time than I was before. >> You used to have limits where you just didn't think that >> like that's not that's not a good time. That's not that's that's not that's gay. Did you ever see people around you in
1:46 the first half joking like that and you weren't part of it and did you look at them like, "Oh, these guys are gay." >> Yeah. If like dudes are like touching each other's dicks or something? >> Yeah. Well, wait. [laughter] >> You know how they used to play the the game like Bangkok where they like smack each other like Bangkok and they smack each other. I didn't even want to do that. I'm like why? I'm like why we why we >> That one's really >> why we slapping ████ for But now I'm like let's let's actually bang ████ Let's put our ████ together. [laughter] Do you think this is better? >> I think so. I think more open-minded. [laughter] >> Yeah. Max out the humor. Okay. What about things like um uh did patience or something like? [laughter] >> Do you have anything like that? >> Anything like that? >> Just out of curiosity, you know, in in your second half of life. >> Oh, you know what? Patience for sure.
2:38 >> Oh, really? More so now. [laughter] cuz before I was I think I'm so like OCD and anxious. >> Um it's hard for me to have delayed gratification things. >> I need things to happen now or ████ I don't even want it. >> And like I remember but now it's like it's cool if something happens two weeks later or a month or whatever or building up to something like >> um especially having done business and all that stuff for >> real estate and all those things. >> Yeah. all the things in my life like if I do get into another big venture >> I totally can fathom and grasp and be okay with working on something now because we're going to sell it in five to seven years. >> Yeah. >> Whereas before I'm like what the hell not getting a ROI within the first month? ████ that. >> You know, it's like a different it's a different mind different mindset.
3:28 >> Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Well, I guess it helps when you've seen you've been exposed to so many examples of people having done it that way and winning even harder than somebody that got >> Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Cuz before you just want to like I want to trade this for this immediately. It's got to be immediate gratification or ████ >> All you need is one FOMO experience to get there >> to be like damn that happened. Yeah, that's true. What about you, Bonis? >> Second half traits that you didn't have the first half >> from what years? Uh >> split your age in half. What? >> Yeah. So, like from the first half of your life, basically your teen years to adult, >> maybe I'm still not that good at it, but I'm better than I was. >> What? >> Is kind of speaking up for myself. [laughter] [gasps]
4:18 I was really bad at it. >> Were you? >> Never do it. >> Really? [gasps and laughter] >> Yeah. No backbone. But like with how >> speak up into this mic though, [laughter] >> sorry, >> but with how severe of a of a situation like you wouldn't speak up to where like u like like an example would be you didn't want to go somewhere and you still went anyway because everyone asked you like that kind of thing or >> wanted to eat somewhere and you really hated that place and were like oh let's just go you you just like oh ████ let's >> I wouldn't say that now either though [laughter] >> or somebody was like telling you dude lotus root is nasty. And you wouldn't say nothing. You wouldn't be like, "No, it's good." >> No. [laughter] >> Or or even like or even like if if I um >> Well, this is maybe too specific and a bad example, but um like if I if the
5:10 server if I was at a restaurant and I got the wrong meal >> Uhhuh. >> Oh. >> I still probably would never say anything. >> You just eat the wrong meal. >> I'll just eat the wrong meal. >> No matter how wrong it is. No, I I I won't set it back. >> What if it's the >> your enemy food? [laughter] >> What does enemy food mean? >> Like the thing you hate the most. >> I don't think I hate anything that badly enough where I wouldn't eat it unless it's a plate of bugs. >> I see. >> Okay. Yeah, they brought a plate of bugs instead of creme brulee. [laughter] >> Yeah, they gave you creme bugle. But like before, but like the reason why I'm saying I've improved is because before I wouldn't even like if I needed ketchup, I wouldn't ask for it. >> Oh, even that. [laughter] >> I would just wait to see if they offer it. >> Or if someone else got it like, can I
6:00 ask some of your ketchup? >> Yeah. >> Wow. >> But now I can like, you know, speak to other human beings like a normal person. >> How did that change? Did you something like was it like overnight or was it like gradually? I think it was gradual because because in high school, like we were talking about the other day, I I was way more shy and not really willing to I was much more introverted and I think over time I've become more extroverted. >> So just being comfortable with like speaking to people. >> You've unlocked the extrovert side of traits. >> Yeah. >> Okay. >> Yeah. >> And you're much better. Yeah. Because that's the thing. I've obviously I've known her 20 years and I've always thought of her as like dude someone like her would be so awesome in any kind of show but she'll never do it. [laughter] >> I was always like she's not going to go yeah your personality and the thing just everything about how you are. I'm like
6:50 that's who should be on camera and talking not me. And then but I'm like but she won't like I I always thought I'm like she's not >> and it's because she was like wouldn't say it >> was a favor to me and also cuz she couldn't speak up against me. [laughter] I actually just kept making excuses for why I couldn't come and then finally one time I had no excuse. [laughter] >> Yeah, I trapped her basically. >> Yeah. But >> I'm actually really glad that you did. Yeah. >> I feel like if I had asked you maybe like obviously 10 years ago, even then you would have just endlessly had excuses. Yeah, for sure. >> I probably just wouldn't have been your friend anymore. [laughter] >> Yeah. I hate you now. Yeah. [gasps] >> Okay. That's really cool. Yeah, that's a big shift. Introvert to extrovert. >> Yeah. >> Yeah. How about you, Mr. Weird guy. [laughter] >> Why are you sitting like that?
7:41 >> That's what I'm saying. You look like a auntie. You look like a the proud auntie. [laughter] >> Why this arm? >> It's You should try. It's comfortable to bend it like this cuz it's like a stretch while relaxing. [laughter] >> I actually I see. >> Yeah, it's it's like a stretch while relax. You know what's so funny is as you were saying that I was like my growth is the opposite >> is I >> I had no filth. I just said everything. [laughter] >> I was that I was like that toddler that rats out the parent every single time. [laughter] >> I could see THAT >> MY DADDY'S GOT DIABETES. You know like I still slip till this day. Just >> as an example because I think it would be an amazing thing to hear this again. Can you tell their story about when your parents had friends over and you Well, that was also I was an evil piece of ████ too. >> Tell you exactly.
8:32 >> So, [laughter] [snorts] >> my parent Okay. So, my parents had guests over. >> Okay. >> And um they you know, we entertained a lot of guests all the time because they were part of the church and my dad's a singer, all this stuff. So, I wanted to go play video games and my mom was like in the kitchen and I was like, "Can I go play?" And she goes, "No, like we have to be good hosts." and you want to give your full attention to the guests. And I was like, "Oh, okay." So, I was like, "Well, if they leave, I could play my game, so let's make them leave." [laughter] And then so when we all got out there and then we're all like hanging out and then I was like, "My mommy says, "You guys are overstaying. You're welcome." >> Oh my gosh. [laughter] >> And they're like, "What? I that's not
9:23 what I said." And then I'm like, [laughter] >> "You did it in front of your mom?" >> Yeah, I did it in front of everybody. And I was like, "My mom said, "You guys are overstaying. You're welcome too much. You're staying too much. [laughter] You guys are staying way too much." And then my parents were panicking. They're like, "We did not say that. Where did you come up with [laughter] this s███?" And I'm like, "Yes, you did." >> Honestly, as a guest, too, as a guest, I would probably kind of believe you because kids just are super awkward. >> Who wouldn't believe that? >> And I and I knew that. >> That's double ████ up. >> That's why I was like, "They're going to leave for sure." And I was like, [laughter] "Oh, ████ I'mma" and I got this new game I wanted to play. I'mma play this ████ so good. And then so they got embarrassed. They, you know, as soon as they heard that, they got ready. They made some excuse. They got ready to go. My parents are seeing them off. We're right by the door. And I'm just like, "Sega Genesis,
10:13 here we come. [snorts] Yeah, baby. Bye." And then as soon as the door closed, what the ████ [laughter] I'm like, ah, I just wanted them to leave so I could play video games, [laughter] >> dude. Isn't that the worst thing to do? >> And the funny thing is, I did not think that I would get my ass beat >> for doing that. >> I just thought they need to get out cuz they're in my ████ way. >> That's the thing is [laughter] It's it's really smart of you to think that, okay, like this is the logic. They need to be gone in order for me to play. But how could you be that dumb to not think just a little bit further? >> You don't know. That's what I mean. Impulsive in the moment.
11:03 >> I get what I want. Selfish and ████ nuts, right? So, like [laughter] little boy, I I hate my little self. It's so stupid. I always >> I hate my little self. [laughter] >> But that's the thing, right? is I didn't think things through. So, I would just like whatever I want. Oh, this is the funny. This is going to be fun. And then like the thing is it's not like my parents didn't discipline me or like I got disciplined, right? [laughter] >> But I would never learn my lesson. So like it's not like you would think oh what like you must be a spoiled kid for you to do these things and not think that there'll be a consequence. There were always consequences. I just never saw it coming. you were consciously aware that you were not learning lessons. [laughter] I mean later on that's pretty amazing. >> He's like
11:54 [laughter] why do I keep getting slapped? >> I don't think I'm picking up what I'm supposed to do 10 more times. [laughter] >> But like you know how like kid brain you'll like think of loopholes and then you'll do the loophole thing and you said >> but you told me this. >> Not all kids not all kids think of loopholes. So you some kid. >> Yeah. You said I couldn't do this, not this. That also makes that happen. >> There's three kids in here do it. And me, Joe, and Ta. [laughter] >> Don't touch that hot that pot. It's hot, right? So I go, "Ooh, it's hot." You know, [laughter] all kids do that ████ cuz you're antagonizing it. >> That's how tiger I just go, touch it. Go. >> And then he'll go, "Okay, I won't. I won't." I'm like, "See, >> oh, that's a good one." >> I'm like, "This is hot as ████ You should touch it." No, papa. And so in contrast to that, how do you feel today?
12:45 >> I think to the rest of the world, they probably still think I'm I'm a I am a impulsive. You say what's on your mind type of person, >> but this is the more calculated reserve version. I do have thoughts that I work out here before it goes out here. >> So this is this is filtered. >> Yeah. >> Okay. >> So imagine what it used to be. >> Yeah. It's funny too because like you know uh when I explained when I first knew that Joseph Jitsukar was Joe Mama and like my world's exploded. I still didn't know who he was really like outside of this. I I'd only come to JK talk to him and I wouldn't see him and I'd see him next JK. The first time we went to dinner after a uh one of these tapings. We're just sitting eating cream barbecue and he just turns and goes, "So, how's everything going?" I started laughing. [laughter]
13:36 cuz I was like, "What are you doing right now? What is this bit?" [laughter] Because because I'm so used to him just saying the weirdest ████ back to back that I'm like, "Oh, yeah." Like outside of this, he's pretty chill and normal. [laughter] >> This is who I get to be >> when I'm not holding back. It's fun, right? Yeah. I'm supposed to entertain, >> right? >> But in a normal setting, >> right? >> Like, >> I shouldn't be saying all this ████ [laughter] He's not like what like >> I shouldn't. >> Yeah. He's like so so normal. And I was like I felt like it was a trap. But I'm like what's going to happen? >> Nick said the same thing when we all goes he's a normal person. >> Me and Nick were saying it to each other. We're like was that weird? [laughter] >> That's what we said about Nick too cuz he deflected so much back then. >> Oh yeah. >> Like what the hell? He's actually talking back and sharing things about
14:26 himself. [laughter] >> Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. >> Still deflect. [snorts] How about you, Ryan? >> I think uh >> Are you less mischievous now? >> I I think I'm No, I think I'm the same amount of mischief, but I think I'm more uh what is it? I think I'm actually way more self-deprecating now. >> So, before you were too cool for school >> in the first half, I I tried to be cool so much. Like, you have no idea. It was very important to me. I was like, I have to be. Yeah. She know she like I was very much like that in the beginning when when uh when I met Bonos in 2005 which is 10,000 years ago. I was like I was very focused like I always had to have my image together a certain way or else I just didn't even want to like participate or go out. I'm like no if I don't feel cool I'm not leaving this house. Like really really obsessively
15:16 >> my cool meter's down >> burdened about it like it's some kind of a thing. >> That's why he was always cool. [laughter] >> Yeah. And then like I don't know, I just I just stopped caring about it and I felt way more comfortable that way. >> Just empty out that cooler. >> Yeah. It's just a waste. Like you just look so stupid being that obsessed with what how people see you, you know, when it's like you can't control it anyway. >> You know, he said that while he's like this >> looking cool, [laughter] >> you know, just like doesn't really matter. >> I don't care about Bingo. [laughter]
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