0:00 thank you [Music] and welcome back to another awesome episode of be careful boys uh featuring Jesus yeah baby oh my god oh you're on a sybian sorry man sorry this is a family show man that girl was ████ oh my goodness sorry that's you know anyways what was that thank you thank you for having me hell yeah speaking of families aren't you starting yes dude I'm a brand new daddy dude [Applause] I gotta change all that dude I'm a ████ brand new day you got it you got a boy or girl you got a boy man hell yeah baby salute that zone ████ right there did you have a uh say in the name did you
0:50 say I have a say in the name or was just like my my lady do all that what do you mean who named it yeah who named it oh dude dude that was a big one for me because like my ████ Mexican family was like oh you got to be Jesus you're a junior because I'm a junior so was it a junior junior you got to pass it down so yeah so I'm a junior so I was gonna give him Jesus too so he's like Jesus the second the third oh yeah yeah yeah whoops the way math Works no but but yeah so I was gonna you know I didn't even think of it and I was just told my girl like okay it's gonna be you know he says he's like yeah no yeah I was like excuse me ████ excuse me like what do you mean she's like yeah like no let's get him like anyway right how about I get Bailey you know dude these ████ new girls dude I swear to God I was like uh I guess but
1:44 she kind of like made sense she maybe she mind ████ me what's her sense we should name it donut because it's like why he gave him a name give him like a brand new store give him his own identity like let's just name him something else because in the end of the day I was like yeah I didn't really like him it was hard for people to pronounce I wish I had like a different name but Jesus is hard to pronounce for white people Jesus Jesus Jesus and they always say a stupid joke about it Jose Jesse like they don't know how to say just Jesus Jesus suggested they call you Jose all the time dude for real I'm gonna get me started dude that's crazy and so I told her like all right what do you want to name him so we picked the name together and I we named him Max right and I was like I like it it's a strong name short short for anything like not just Maps just ████ Max I always liked it I always felt strong it just feels like a cool name like Max you know did they use my show for Maximilian Jesus Sepulveda like so
2:35 max issue supported right so I go back and that's it and I go back home middle name you got to keep your name for them but then I go back home and I tell my Latino family I'm just like oh no my dad's like oh sorry baby Jesus is like no he's actually me Max Max King now I'm known as dude now I'm known as like the most b████████ person in the he's like you're gonna let her choose the he doesn't say you mean but his name come on okay you gotta have to go back over there and tell her but you did name him Jesus though yeah his middle name the traditional yeah it's not enough so he was I would have been like yeah no dude and then he finds out later and disowns me dude ████ so now everything is like I'm not a man so what are you say excuse me the people
3:25 like he's like my uncles hey ████ like oh you want to eat a taco and ████ like that you gotta ask his wife because he doesn't have balls ████ you're wearing the ████ grocery stores like look is that your son yeah but I know Mario's a woman now oh he's transitioning like I can't talk ████ to my dad dude he wins he wins every time dude he just has more years of experience with the Latina family if you ████ up once that's your nickname for the rest of your life oh for sure dude anything you ████ up on they can't take you seriously like you can be a ████ manager bro you can graduate from Harvard and they'll still remember like meet you at the yeah he got a graduation from Harbor but he peed his pants
4:29 [Laughter] no matter what you do in your life you still ain't ████ to them like I ████ dude I told him all the time I was like oh yeah you know I'm an HBO now this and that everybody's just like oh my gosh on HBO your son wow he's just like yeah but he can't read [Laughter] you're ████ awesome or something a compliment yeah dude I'm just gonna change all that with my son I'm gonna change it do you have any new Life views since having a son yeah dude I'm not
5:20 ████ like I used to I'm like this is dangerous dude it's got some time out dude so I can change your life I told girls like back up I'm gonna ruin your ████ life let me tell you something right now I'm gonna ████ for life for nine months at least nah but definitely like I want to be more bonding I was like I want to be more bonding how do you do that with a baby just crying like hi because I do this thing I did this thing dude called skin to skin have you ever done that did you do skin yeah what's that that's what you took off your shirt you're you're you know shirtless at the hospital sure yeah and right away you just put him skinny skin so he can bond with the debt so I was like looking at him like man we're attaching right now we're bonding and I remember telling my dad like oh did you ever do it I was drunk bonding with my friends in the beer because I was going on with the corona so you can't do so those are things that I'm just like ah well I guess I want to change that I want to have more like
6:10 understanding when my son asking questions and ████ instead of just telling them what to do I think so yeah I like all the guys in our dad's generation think all of us are gay yeah no matter what culture they're like all the time it's just because I didn't like like he I got menulo and he's like oh hey you want I want my stomach is like gay boy over here because it tickles my butthole and you think you like it because I'm like no it's good you think you like it it gives me gastritis he's like indigestion all right whatever the ████ on my stomach because you're doing butt things come on stop reading like that I'm like what so yeah so everything is gay right I remember the gayest thing to my dad that I had to convince him for
7:01 years that I wasn't gay was when I wanted a sleepover at my friend's house you know your friend Tyler she's like hey dude we're all gonna ████ sleep over come dude that sounds like fun what do you guys do play video games and eat snacks what he couldn't do this he almost crashed the car did I get you now what wait okay what do you want to do I want to go to Tyler's house to sleep over sleep over with a boy it's not just me where it's like five boys five boys is there a girls is there gonna be girls like no no girls why I don't understand why you want to sleep with boys why would you want to sleep with boys and I
7:53 was like now I'm questioning my ████ like uh yeah why do I want to sleep with boys I don't know something wrong with you girl I gotta get my eye on your card numbers because I think this guy I think this guy you're gonna do things with the cucumbers and the bananas hide the bananas he's getting he's getting curious so that was a lot of ████ like I remember you're not gonna do that to your kid nah don't let him ████ go over there turn over to his friend's house and probably get molested by the guy's dad or something they're like I don't know a lot of our parents didn't understand sleepovers though yeah well think about it it's ████ weird they didn't know what that was that's purely America why are you gonna sleep at someone else's house that's American for sure it was an immigrant which he didn't even trust the government right to trust in other guys
8:45 ████ house and the guy's dad he did that to him was like they're kind of right though they're right well if you think about it they're right yeah but you know you know why kids you know they don't ████ yeah everything is innocent and lovely and ████ my parents are freaked out little people coming over because they said if that kids slipped in our house his parents are because yes yes I got lawyers yeah yeah like that yes that's true to my dad I hated having people over to the house you just ████ hated how's my parents like not just sleeping over but just coming over to kicking everyone one time I invited a friend over my dad came out of the road and I was like hey what's up what the ████ is that I was like oh dude that's my best friend or best friend get on the hell out of here he doesn't have a house yelling for
9:35 you can hear you don't have a house well yeah he has a house but he's just coming over to my house and still like no no no no no one nobody and I got that house nobody in the house I think he's gonna want to eat something like why are you bringing these Strays oh yeah dude one time I made a mistake of getting uh my friend like a Capri Sun my dad sees it he's like I paid foreign ever dude so we were the first one in the neighborhood to get internet dude like I remember the first ones to get a computer and internet in the block right it was just like and that's when the console was out so I was making like burn CDs I was burning CDs but I've already entered used to come in a CD in
10:25 a disc like AOL yeah remember that ████ like the trial the trial one yeah so one day my dad never ████ gives a ████ about the internet all of a sudden this day he just like all right let me see what are you doing I got that computer let me see how the internet work and I'm burning the CD for my friend for some reason it's not working there's something wrong with the Internet it's not connecting I was like what the ████ and my dad's like check out when I want to use it nothing works in this ████ house I'm like hold on hold on give me a minute I'm trying to I'm trying to I feel like I'm cracking a code or something what the ████ am I doing I connected the wire what the hell and I get a knock at the door and my friend shows up and I'm giving him the burden CD so I think he I give him the burn City oh here you go take it out the disc can I give it to him and then come back and I'll work on the computer my dad in his mind he's like ah okay I know what you're doing okay yeah I told my mom hey come here you know what he's doing and I was like what he's like he's burning the
11:17 internet in the CD he's learning the internet in the city and giving it to his ████ friends what the whole internet and that's the internet and giving it to my friends like I pay every month for internet for him to just give it away yeah that's that's impossible give me the goddamn CD camera I'll show you and I ████ had to run and tell my friend like no dude can I get the disc I can show my dad and all my friends confused I come back and I and from yelling at me over and over I start believing I'm like did I did I did I drag the internet inside he starts ████ with you you start believing their ████ anger so you're like what the ████ did I do dude turns out that I just disconnected it from my the thing so the thing got disconnected I just connected I'm like oh that's what happens it was a CD that's why I got you thank
12:08 God I brought it back a little don't be giving it to your ████ friends I'm like you're ████ the internet away he thought I gave it away to the whole neighborhood that's so funny he's working every ████ month to pay for the bill for me to just give it away I was like dude that is impossible that ████ was expensive back then too yeah it was dude didn't understand what made him like want to get internet in your house that's a hard sell because I we all said because school oh you scored it's better and it is because it has encyclopedia and grades even your siblings fought to like beg to get it yeah dude we were ████ how many brothers and sisters do you have uh I have an older sister uh younger brother and that was it for now until like later my dad's you know you know Latinos they keep ████ they have a baby all of a sudden we're like we're all grown and you got another baby like damn what the ████ yeah we have a baby brother I was in high school with a baby brother I'm like what the ████ oh ████ yeah dude they kept going so yeah so at
13:00 that time we were like fighting for the internet and we convinced him like oh man if you gave me the internet I'll get better grades and ah that ████ didn't work for me yeah I just kept ████ like my ████ kept going downhill dude yeah but that was a craziest idea for him to think about I'm giving the internet away dude he was a wild person bro do you see a different side of your dad now that he's a grandpa yes are you the first out of the three siblings oh my sister has like three kids you know she she'd be ████ oh but my sister has like three kids and then but this is like the first like Sepulveda he has my last name yeah so I can see it that way kids like aren't even his really well yeah yeah whoa whoa whoa they're they're light skin for sure we want to say that way but but yeah he's like the first supporter but I understand my dad now like I understand everything he did everything I
13:50 complained about yeah has gone away yeah like any Grudge that they hold against my parents are it's gone because now I accept that they were doing everything they could yeah for us giving away internet because this stupid ████ no but I get it because you know what do we do because well at least what I did I would throw I had like years of throwing ████ at their faces like oh you never ████ you know gave me attention or you never did this for me I wanted this he never did that and I would always talk ████ and I would always just always tell like everything I went through that was tough I was like this is hard because of you you never helped down this night he's like what about me he said what about me I came to this country I didn't know the language and nobody's helping me out but yeah you don't see that you just see everything I did wrong but what did I do right yeah I brought you here you're here you're your citizen is like hey but you want to attend me all the wrongs when are you gonna start talking about the rights and I'm like damn dog what the ████ am I you
14:42 know now I felt like well I guess you're right I guess I am a ████ spoiled brat internet yeah that is pretty crazy dumb ████ that I just like look at the bad but then that's just you being a kid though yeah and as a parent now I'm just kind of like I'm like damn dude I don't know how they did it with three yeah and he didn't speak the language and he was an immigrant you know how the ████ did they make that happen it's crazy it's always nice to think about that ████ man I'm quick to ████ talk ████ and be like oh yeah I had it hard but it's so funny to like I can never talk about any anything bad because in he'll always like flip it right I would always be like oh because I was on FaceTiming them and I kind of want him to be like have like a father and dad moment I was like look it I had my son I was like man it's hard and you know it's a it's gonna be hard I'm a little scared but you know I'm just gonna keep I'm
15:32 gonna make it happen regardless of my son you know and my dad's like is that heart chinga heart heart that's not hard come on hard as being an immigrant what no job because I only had five dollars and I'm like Dan can you give me a little bit of problems something that I'm going through right now and we would focus about me right now my dad's just like ████ heart you know I had three kids I don't even know if you were Minecon amazing not three of them talking about hard he's all you can never talk about any complaining to your immigrant parents right that's so funny it's so hard right it's ████ I mean do you guys did you guys grow up with immigrant parents or yeah oh ████ but do you feel like that might like rub off onto your child like you know 15 20 years from now you know what I'm saying I mean I'd probably be the old guy going like can we imagine like uh if you think you had it hard I think the hard part of a second
16:22 generation parent is like you know when you have an immigrant parent you have like these really hard values that are dope but then the hard values are also like half as toxic and half of it is actually really productive yeah so trying to like in the moment go like oh ████ here are the tools that I was given which ones ████ me up and which ones were good and then trying to make sure they go through yeah dude but also what's cool about the second generation or whatever like it's like we can help with homework and stuff and field trips and like little things like that might not seem like a lot but it was growing up I I didn't think I was worthy for a field trip I honestly did not think like I thought that was just for the white people I'm like oh that's for them I never thought it was for me because my my parents lived like that my parents were like oh no they're they're the images you know what I mean like I didn't know that I felt like I didn't belong in this
17:13 country because they didn't belong yeah and everything was about no no like in school it's like hey don't like even if you got like an honorable he would get a nerd my dad would get my sister's like oh I got an honor roll we gotta go do an assembly they want the parents don't do these things don't be so smart attention they want to give me an award okay tell them to give it to the male no way they want okay one problem then my dad would show up all ████ Batman stuff I was watching my sister get to work I'm I'm her friend I don't knock her dad just in case dude just in case very secretive dude he's ████ he didn't like any attention bro his foot was ████ hidden bro this ████ was
18:03 ████ crazy even when it's good yeah how's your dad dude before it works he was a welder it was like okay yeah it was like that's tough too oh yeah to him like if he got a desk job [Laughter] my ████ yo all of my classmates in college that were Mexican they said that like when they try to pursue higher education all of their family members call them gay oh yeah and you're just like yo I'm just trying to they're like you still in school why don't you work they're like I'm finishing up my freaking Masters bro and they're like oh you think it's so smart shut up dude they don't get that ████ and that yeah when it comes to like education he was all like go for education but then he also like said
18:54 it's like you're not gonna get good grades just get a job already I was like bro I'm like 13. you're still home I in the Summers I would wear construction dude I'll be like that Mexican kid that shows up in the truck yeah but his daddy and I have to like translate with my dad sometimes I was like you know my it was so funny I like when I worked with my dad he was afraid to talk ████ to the guy but he'll talk ████ to me right because he's afraid to tell the owner anything but he'll talk ████ to me he doesn't want to lose his job you don't want to lose his job and ████ but then he's like okay you'll talk ████ the whole right over there ████ then John I swear to God if he told me to re do the side of the house I'm gonna that's it I'm gonna ████ tell him I'm gonna punch him in the face and I'm just hearing him he's just talking ████ the whole time five in the morning and I'm like all right Dad relax he shows up Mr
19:44 Johnson come on good morning okay Mr Johnson's just like yeah uh Leo we're gonna talk to you for a second so the side of the house can we just redo that I don't think we want that extra okay oh you want me to redo that side uh even I did three hours but okay okay you want me to I get rid of the house okay and then he leaves he's like yeah about it come up do something you think don't take out on me don't take it out on me right now you worked on three hours don't try to take it out does not go grab something like a ████ idiot man do something stand straight you guys are ████ stupid face thinking about dicks all day good don't do something
20:34 [Laughter] unloading things just because he didn't get his way you know but that was him dude oh yeah working with him was a ████ trip you guys ever work with your families yeah thank God no Vlogs right it was at a dry cleaners every ████ oh dude they can they feel like they can talk to you a certain way never ends haven't you noticed that like other people at work they talk to him friendly but with family like my dad would ████ will work with somebody else and just be like hey can I please call them I was like please what the ████ who's this guy yeah please get the screws yeah yeah thank you so much and with me hey stupid I can't do this I've done that ████ I told my mom talk to me like Sean and ████ at the dry cleaners my mom be the one in the front talking to customers or something I remember one time I got so frustrated I was like why don't you talk to me like you talked to customers
21:25 hell of a thing to say that ████ is so different right she's like oh hi we're close she was like in the back [Music]
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