0:00 So, I did I went to the to the paddy program. I'm sure you know about it. And it was over there. Oh my god. [laughter] This is so good. >> Wait, that's Phil By the way, that's Philip Rivers. Just ████ Philip Rivers. That ████ looks hella woody. Welcome back to another episode of the Careful Boys, y'all. Hey, we got Kamaka here with us and WE ARE >> KAMAKA! THANKS FOR HAVING ME. Thanks for having me. It must be It must be the Hawaiian vibes. We We've been chilling. >> The spirit of aloha. >> How many cultural dances do you know how to do? Hawaiian cultural dances. Probably zero. I wasn't a >> the penguin dance from Madagascar, right? I like to move it, move it. >> [laughter] >> I don't I don't I don't. I like to move it, move it. Um I was actually not like I wasn't a bad student. Like I got good
0:50 grades, but I didn't really care about the cultural aspect um growing up. I just wanted to go home, play video games, play sports. So, I didn't really care about all that stuff. So, I don't remember anything. I can do some things like if you ask me, but like nothing You can't fire dance? Wasn't that a part of the curriculum? >> Nunchucks is close enough? Uh nunchucks isn't. Can I tell a quick fire dancing story? Yeah. How do you have one of those but So, I do actually. So, >> Of course he has one. >> in my past >> probably holding my ties while he's doing it. That's so stupid. But no, so I had I was with We'll just say I was with a chick who had a very rich parents and like it was going very well for her her family. And they they had a luau at their mansion which had wings. Like I'm not kidding. It had like a west wing, east wing. >> I thought you meant like Wingstop wings. >> [laughter] >> Like they had a ████ Dude, this mansion had sick ass buffalo wings.
1:42 Lemon pepper, garlic parmesan Korean barbecue >> Go to the mansion for the lemon That's how trash I am. I'm like, "Ooh, wing party wings?" No, so >> By the way, Wingstop's the honey ████ hot honey. Oh my god. Continue. Okay, so so they put on this luau and like invited the neighborhood, invited like all their rich friends and stuff like that. And I remember being there and they did these this fire dancing thing where like these cats came out and they're very like Bart like everyone's looks like ████ Bart and they're all like juggling ████ fire and ████ on sticks. It's super sick. But then so then >> [laughter] >> typical like white rich lady I remember the mom b███████ out these people at the end of the night because they gave cupcakes as the dessert and because it took too long to get to the
2:33 fire dancing and she felt humiliated in front of her friends and she's just b███████ out these nice people these nice Hawaiian people who Wait wait what about what does the cup they were catering it to? So they like they hired them to do everything there? >> Everything. All in. Dance. Entertainment, catering, all of it. And so like yeah at the end of the night I just remember her screaming like >> [laughter] >> these ████ nice people who just put on a show for us and fed us and like trying to basically haggle them down from where they were. That's that's some ████ >> I'm not kidding. Damn. And like she she genuinely thought that they ████ her in front of her friends. >> How horrible. Do you think she was working an angle? I think she she thought they ████ her because they had these so like it was like a a night where they fed us like all the traditional Hawaiian whatever katsu stuff.
3:23 >> [laughter] >> That's it. Like probably kalua pig or laulau or I didn't Where where was this at? Meet Meet June. This was just in like San Diego. Okay, yeah. >> [laughter] >> So yeah, but she was very like offended that they ended the night with cupcakes and that [clears throat] they took like an hour to get to the fire dancing. >> Probably because she talked it up to the guests. >> So everyone was like waiting. But it wasn't like that. Like I was there. WOAH. WHY DID THEY GET STEVE? >> HE HAD his AI do this. He's Oh my god, that was funny. She I think she did that she was just excited about this and thought that they had somehow ████ her over and like it was wild night anyway. The ████ that happens in the imagination of a of a ████ white woman. >> [laughter] >> She b██████ about it for like the next week. Oh my god. Top of the mind. Like,
4:14 I can't believe they ████ me like And then and then they did everything right. >> I'm telling you they they killed it. Like cuz I I'm from ████ Indiana. I'd never seen people do fire dancing. I was like, that was sick. And the guy's like doing the yo AND THEN HE ████ DIPS THAT ████ HE >> [laughter] >> HE DIPS that ████ in his mouth and it's on fire and I'm like, this guy's a ████ pimp. >> So it didn't even read to anyone that like something was out of sequence or moving slow, nothing, right? >> cats, they all watch Cirque du Soleil forever and a half. So for them it's like it's a little They're like, why did the ground open up to a pool? Yeah, exactly, dude. No. Of their own property. I think it was like that. So yeah, very strange. Very strange. Yeah, but very eye-opening. Yeah. See, and we have those people that come to Hawaii and do all the things and act like that and that's why we don't like tourists. At the Polynesian Cultural
5:05 Center? >> [laughter] >> Polynesian Cultural Center is actually really good. Yeah, I I thought it was just like a Hawaiian Disneyland growing up not going there and then went there and it's like really educational. That's the one with like the big slide. >> get a caipirinha? >> [laughter] >> Dude, it's a dope ass place to be. That's got that like huge like tourist thing where you like have a hula or luau actual thing that you pay for. So there's a new one that just opened up on the west side and it's really good and they add they add some like kind of Cirque du Soleil stuff. Is that the Paradise Cove one? The one that closed and replaced it. Okay, okay, okay. And and they have a sick fire knife dancing. It's like basically what what he does his his move but like fighting. What the ████ Really? Like jump on his head? He went on his head and he was like spinning around. What the heck? while balancing on his head Your s███'s level one, dude. Level one. Well, he probably
5:55 grew up watching them. That's why. You wouldn't have won You wouldn't have won first place. You would have won zeroth place, dude. >> [laughter] >> What if they're all fans of Ryan? And they would make sure Do local Hawaiian people actually like appreciate and enjoy going to the Polynesian Cultural Center? Or is that just like for tourists only? I did I don't I don't know. I mean, for usually local >> You could see this. [laughter] The Polynesian Cultural Center is expensive though, dude. It's like Isn't it like 300 bucks? I actually found out you can go for free on your birthday, too, if you come by on your day. No ████ But I just got to keep my number But like actual Hawaiian people, they actually go to it and they they like It's kind of far from where like a lot of people live. Um but I think it's a cool I think Hawaiian people should do more touristy things like snorkel and do You know, it's we we we stay away from it cuz we're like, "Oh, that's only tourists." But then I would go snorkeling and I haven't
6:45 snorkeled in a long time and I'm like, "This is why they do it. This is amazing." You know? Yeah, so I don't know. Dude, I'll never forget I was in Hawaii and I was I was doing like uh So, you you you learn how to snorkel and ████ like that. But you if you want to do the the scooter dive >> Yeah, the one that you hold on to it. certified. So, I had to get certified to do it. He's scuba certified? I am scuba He's scuba certified? I am scuba certified. So, I did I went to the pa- to the patty program. I'm sure you know about it. >> Yeah, that. And it's over there. Oh my god. >> [laughter] >> This is so good. That's Phil By the way, that's Philip Rivers. Just ████ Philip Rivers. ████ looks hella muddy. Uh So, no, I'll never forget doing the scuba doing the uh the the the scooter dive. And then I let go real quickly of the of the scooter. And you're going to love this part. There's a turtle this close to me.
7:35 I'm not kidding. He looks like a dining room table. He's that big. And I reached over, gave him a little high five. You like that? >> [laughter] >> Did you go, "A fin nugget, dude." I actually got on his shell on his back and I rode him for a little while. >> [laughter] >> Stupid dude. And then you went to your job at the Polynesian Cultural Center. >> [laughter] >> You clocked in. And then he went back to his HIS NATIVE ROOTS. >> [laughter] >> I DID brown I did brown face. I did. I'm not I'm not proud of it. But if if you guys do come then we'll we'll do some really fun stuff. Maybe >> I still haven't gone to the Polynesian Maybe people can be like if we do a show and we fly you guys out We should have Steve actually >> [laughter] >> Jesus Christ this is so creepy dude. I don't wear glasses when I'm in there
8:26 by the way. He also doesn't smile for [laughter] photos. >> glasses underneath the That's probably the biggest giveaway. Dude my mom is like why don't you ever smile in photos? I'm like cuz Float of buoyancy. Yeah. >> [laughter] >> Look at this float of buoyancy formula. That's so That is so ████ dumb. >> I'm not that smart. >> You're having your own episode. >> [laughter] >> What are you talking about? >> Yeah Andy's just This is what happens when we integrate AI with JK's at the same time. You know JI dude. >> JI JI >> [laughter] >> It's JOY JOY. >> [laughter] >> That's stupid. I'm sorry I keep telling stories so I have more [laughter] ammo. So another racist thing I saw not I don't know. I got nothing. But you got engaged in Hawaii right? Yeah. Oh nice man. Magical place. At the ████ The ████
9:16 >> No it's gone now unfortunately. But it was like a Hawaiian fusion spot. You know what I'm talking about? >> Roy's Roy's thank you. Roy's Is it still there? >> Yeah it's still there. Did you pull that out so fast? Well it was I'm thinking I put Steve's hat on I was like what's the most famous fusion spot he probably knows. Roy's. And and he has files in his brain. He's a ████ he has autism. Do like Do local Hawaiian people actually go to the shrimp truck that everybody like lines up >> Oh, Giovanni's? Giovanni's? I think so. Um, I mean, I don't live on that side, so I don't really go cuz it's it's usually packed. >> Uh, yeah. But there's so many other places. Like, I'm I'm not a big line person. The So, like, you know how like all the places he's saying in Kahuku, right? It's like Polynesian Center, whatever. It's literally like 50-minute, maybe an hour drive, right? >> Which is far for us. Yeah, when I moved there, I was like, why is people tripping about like 1 hour? But then I
10:07 get it now. It just feels like 1 hour there feels like a 3-hour drive here. What do you mean? Why? It's because you never go there. So, like I have everything I need in like my block. Like, I got H Mart, I got I could walk. Like, I never need to leave >> go to like North Shore or nothing? I do for fun, but it's like a mission. That's like me going to Mall of Charleston. I see. I see. Okay. So, there's like a lot of intent behind why you're going to go. You don't just like randomly go. >> And it once my friends move to the west side, I never see them. So, like, that's only a 30-minute drive. But like, it's just everyone's in their part of the island, and you just never leave that corner cuz you don't have to. And there's traffic. But they all have the aloha spirit, right? Dude, just like just like Steve. Hawaiian Steve. Yo! >> Why? Why is that looking more and more like Philip Rivers? It just looks like Philip Rivers.
10:57 Okay, let me just tell you a quick story. >> [laughter] >> I don't know what to even do here. Oh, oh, oh, wait, I do know. I do know. Okay, you ever You guys ever use Hotwire? You guys ever use Hotwire before? Like Hot water? Hot Hotwire. Like LimeWire? Okay, Hotwire >> [laughter] >> Hotwire was a a website where you could book hotels. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah, like Expedia or Kayak. >> But you don't know what you're booking. What do you mean? Oh, it's like a blind box for us. Exactly. Sounds sus. So, what they do is they just pair you up with a hotel for cheapies. And they just like let you know what you booked at the end of it. And they go like, "Here's the quote. Are you down?" And you go, "F███, yeah." So, I did that ████ Are you ready for this though? I got engaged in 2015. Mhm. Hotwire booked me at the Trump Waikiki. That's a nice hotel, actually.
11:47 >> It is actually really nice. But, I didn't [laughter] realize that like Trump was like, you know, he was heavy heavy heavy running for president at that point. >> Yeah. So, >> [laughter] >> so like walking in and out of there was like kind of everyone's like "What the ████ are these guys doing?" Which was so weird So, That place is really nice, though. I heard I heard the Trump hotel, even the one here, it's But, you would look like the more obvious person to be there. >> I'm with Nikki and ████ And then I'm with her So, her old man >> Oh, oh, yeah, yeah, cuz they're all Filipino. >> Filipino, and he's not a big Trump guy at all. >> [laughter] >> And so, it was just like He's like, "So, I'm taking you to the Trump Waikiki, huh?" And like he So, you had to break it to him? >> He was in on my secret, too, for a year about how I'm proposing to Nikki, cuz unlike you, I don't wait 3 years to ████ >> [laughter] >> execute on the plan. I actually just do it when I say I'm going to do it in the same year. Yeah, it's like It's like a weird thing that people do who have
12:37 class, who don't want to stress out their elders. >> How long How long do you think it's too long to wait until you propose? Um If your lady's dad already knows about it. >> Are you in a relationship right now? >> I am, yeah. We just made 2 years. So, imagine you ask your lady's dad for permission from that point. He gives you his blessing from that A year is too long after a year. Oh, really? >> [laughter] >> SO, AFTER A YEAR, YOU SHOULD JUST CALL it off. I mean, if [laughter] you asked and yeah, I would say a year is kind of long. Oh, so how about three? How about three of them? >> three is cool, though. One, three, and then five. It's just Odd numbers. Odd numbers. Yeah, he doesn't He doesn't know about the power of the property of odds, yeah. 11 [laughter] He hates He hates it, too. White people don't have lucky numbers. Oh, this guy is real whitey, and he really likes it. What? >> No, you're you're like you're like this.
13:28 >> The ████ [laughter] is that? WHAT THE ████ WHAT? WAIT, DO YOU IDENTIFY AS A BLACK LESBIAN, THOUGH? >> Philip Rivers. Yeah, this is Philip Rivers. >> It's the first JK episode that has a A and B plot. >> [laughter] >> I know. But not the last. This ████ terrorist. >> [laughter] >> Jesus, man. That's got to be a war crime, what you're doing. I know. [laughter] I never voted Democrat in my life, FOR THE RECORD. >> [laughter] >> FOR THE RECORD, ACTUALLY.
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