0:00 [Music] Welcome to another episode of Careful Boys. Since we have Melissa Bonos with us here today, we're going to ask her when you ask a girl like um or when we ask a girl what's wrong and she says nothing, what's the next move? Give her No, you go. All right. And you go play video games. No, that's how you die. No, in the game. Don't lie. Don't do that. I like the voice off camera. No. Wait, wait, wait. What is the next move, Nick? What do you think? Um, just give a bunch of solutions to whatever problem you Also dead. Also dead. Hi. Go to jail. Straight to jail. What's worse, though? So far, which one's wrong? List them. Call us. Your cellmates. You're both in jail. So, equal equal floor. Okay. All right. Anthony, what's the move? You said what's wrong, Nina. She said
0:51 nothing. What do you do next? Come on. Tell me. Are you five? Are you a Chinese talent agent from 1995? Come on, please. You're You're a juvie. You're a juvie. That's our juvie. Steve, what's the move? I smack her on the ass. I'm like, I I know I can make you feel better, baby. I grab her ass. Winner. That's the right answer. You feel better? Probably not her. 50/50. It works. What do you do, Ryan? How do you How do you solve this? I go I just do this for a really long time. He goes, "Okay, I'll tell you." That works all the time. What's correct then? I talk about the kids in Africa who have all kinds of problems. Yeah. I bet they're saying food. I know. I want you take a minute and just think about
1:41 all them kids. Huh? Yeah. You go open the fridge. We got a full fridge. Clean air. See that roof? Is this closed? What's wrong? You ungrateful little ████ Is this closed? She has a problem. And so you just remind her of the world's other problems. Usually ladies love it typically. Yes. I go I go, "Yeah, I guess uh it's pretty great in Gaza." Yeah. You just go You go like this. You act like you're going to sneeze and you go stiller cancer. There it is. There could be worse things in the world. You list all the worst things that could be. Yeah. Mhm. And usually girls go, "You're right." Yeah. Yeah. Then they remember they were supposed to free Palestine this whole time. Or do you like make eye contact and you're like, "Look, you can talk to me." All this. That's creepy, dude. That's creepy. But but he just took off he just took
2:31 off one pair of sunglasses. He has a second pair of sunglasses. Shut up, dude. Sick. Yeah, like that. Sick. ████ Try it. All right. Now tell me. You can listen to me. Sick. Hey. Sick. You can talk to me. Whoa, that one's worse. Hey, you do. Jesus. Problem solved. Yeah. No real talk, no bits. I would do what you do. What did I do? When the girl says nothing and then I go, "Okay, then." Oh, video game. And then I go to Six Flags by myself. I got a cocaine. And I put Vega voice all the way up. Excuse me. Single rider. Thank you. Single rider the whole day. Starting through. Thank you. All right, hold on. I'm going to check
3:21 on Smack really quick. How many turtles can I bring on a Viper? What's wrong? Nothing. Want to go swimming? No, I'm on easy mode cuz Smack never says nothing. Yeah. What do you mean? She never says anything when I Yeah, she's Does she talk to you? No. Whenever if I ask her what's wrong, she always just straight up says it. If I If I asked Tiff what's wrong and she says nothing, I know it's my fault. So she says nothing a lot. Yeah. And then you just are guilty boy. Guilty boying the whole rest of the time, right? Like I know I did this. I know I did that. I definitely did that. Yeah. So I kind of go through my head. I was like, was it cuz I said this? And she's like, I don't want to talk right now. And I go, no. I don't want to talk. Class, can you do this? Can you do this? You go like that.
4:11 I wear sunglasses. I do this. I go, I didn't roll my eyes. Babe, what are you talking about? We can still ████ see her. That's That's what I would do if if Smack said nothing. I would go, "Oh no, nothing." Oh my ████ Oh no. Everyone, nothing's wrong. Oh no. Imagine how magic, dude. What's the correct thing to do? There are two ways to go about it. One, just one option. I can't do this down. I can't handle the two options. It's like two path. Which one do you want me to do? Two paths to hell. Hold on. You try two things. The first thing is, do you want to talk about it right now? Cuz I can see you're upset. What am I, a therapist? I don't have that kind of training. Therapist. You're a ████ husband. Try to say that line. Try to say exactly what she said. Use empathy, though. Use. Don't be sarcastic. Say,
5:02 okay, so she said, look how hard he's scratching his head. Okay. Nothing. Is do she said you have to look at her in the eye. She said, are you on your period? No. No. Wrong. Do you want to talk right now or is I can see you're upset. Say that. Go ahead. Do you Do you want to talk now? I I could see. ████ you, ████ You can't even do it, dude. That's good enough. I would accept that. I can see that you're upset or something. You're like, "Okay." No, no, no, no. No mannerisms. Oh, so like I can't look. No, dude. You got to go straight up. Why you acting like a ████ You just say and then you throw an office chair. ████ ████ Shut up. Everyone's wide chair. Is there awkward way? Awkward. What's the second option? Well, do you want to talk right now? If she doesn't want to talk about it, you say, "Okay, come to me when you're ready or I'll check in with you." But that is so mature. But then, well, then
5:53 do you just stand there for the rest of the time or you go into your face? I get in her face like this. Second option is you pull out a knife. You start going like this. You stand there like an NPC says, "Welcome to town." It's all about checking in and and acknowledging that you know something's wrong and she doesn't want to talk about it. That's okay. Take your time and come to me when you're ready. You know what usually works for me though? Zena Warrior. Zena Warrior Princess. Yeah, Gabrielle. Lucy Lawless. I watched it till they went all woke and made them all lesbian. I feel like they'll get mad if you do something fun. It's only if you don't acknowledge that they're upset. So if I were like, "Okay, just let me know when." And then I'm like, "Yeah, well, maybe do that. Maybe don't do that." Do you have to do you have to have the best and then I go and then I just run for crocodile Mile. That genuinely is one of the best moments when you can tell
6:43 something's wrong and they're like, you know what, I have to work it out myself. And you're like, ah, you know, ████ And then you leave the room and you're like Tom Cruz and Jeremy McGuire like, yeah, okay, wait. If you guys if you guys are upset and having a bad day, is it okay if your girl is having a great day around you? You and I hope she is. And I hope me like I the one that pissed you off. Got to get in her ████ face. Doesn't it guys change with the glasses? That wasn't the variable. That wasn't the variable. That wasn't Just kidding. Because I guarantee you nine out of 10 times the girls upset because you guys ████ did something to them. So that has to be the scenario. No. Nine out of 10 times they're upset because they think that we did something. For real. For real. Hey, for real
7:33 though. Always in the doghouse. You have to always be in the dog house. I built the house. Hey, real talk. I paid for the goddamn dog house. Lots of gas lights on that house, too. What I tell her is like, "You shouldn't be mad that I did that." That's what I say. Ooh. Also wrong. I say that. I go, "You tell her what I tell her when she's mad is I make up an excuse why I'm way more pissed." Cuz Bob's really good. An example of his is when he dripped contact solution onto a vintage table that his wife bought. She's mad at him for that. Is that fair that she should be mad at him? Does that Does that stain or something? You know, he dripped it. So, he left it and it turned into ████ calcium. And it was like a so annoying. But guess what though? I fixed it. You did? I did fix it. Okay. It's all over. Oh, wow. Did it take you for It took me a day cuz I was at work all day and I came home. Did you fix it cuz she was pissed? I fixed it. I fixed it if she wasn't pissed. Well, I'll say this. When she told me about it, I knew I ████ up and I was like, "Oh, f███." Uh, but when I got
8:23 home, I was like looking up all these different um um hacks to fix it. And she's like, "I already tried the ironer." And I was like, "All right." I was like, "Okay, I hear you." And then I was like, "Do you want me to try this?" And she's like, she was just really upset. She was still in she was still in the thick of it cuz she loves vintage. You know what I mean? That's like her thing. And um it it hasn't even been 24 hours and I understand it. Um so I was like, "Do you want to try this? Like I will try this for you. I think it'll work." And then she's like, "No, I don't want that." And I was like, "All right." So she left and then I did it and I cleaned it up and I was like, "Oh ████ it's ████ working." And then I just was like, "Hey, come take a look at this table." And then she's like, she was mad still at me, but she was also like, "It's fixed." And she was like, "But it doesn't look as good as
9:13 the rest of the table." That's ████ Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. That's like the meme of the That's like the meme where like the guy's like the wife's looking at tomatoes or whatever, and then the guy keeps grabbing tomatoes, she put in the bag, and he's handing her to to her, and she's like, "Nah, that's bad. Squishy." Like the ones that she picked. She picked them. He's taking them out of the plastic bag. She build up. ████ are crazy. What ████ Steve, what's up? My wife ████ and wives and women in general and girlfriends. Winches. Winches. Winches. Anyone could be a ████ Anybody. Anybody. Anybody. Anybody. Including men. Including men. Including me. U. But I knew she was seeing red, so I get it. I'm like, "All right, I hear you. You could uh ████ on me, but you're going to be happy about it." And she was fine with it. All you have to do, literally, it was literally a day. So, you got to give us a little space. You have to allow us to be upset because our emotions are like up here.
10:04 Yeah. You got to give the space for logic not to be there. I feel like guys always try to hand all the solutions and shove it down our freaking throat and it's not what we want. You mean slowly hand it to you? No, you guys are just like what you guys just like it's just sometimes we don't want the solution yet. Sometimes we just want and that's when they're wrong. And that's fine. It's okay. It's okay they're wrong. But at the same time, my best attribute is I know how to disappear for a little bit. I know how to be gone. The heck? Yeah. Yeah. I don't want to be gone. You have to acknowledge like, hey, I know you're upset. I'm going to give you space and then you can be gone. You can't just disappear. Don't just do the smoke bomb. Can't be like that black kid that because then it's like, oh, you just don't give a ████ that I'm upset. And that's even worse. No, no, no. I just do more of a thing like I got to get out of the house for a little bit and I just leave. I do that. And you slam the door behind me. Boom. So she knows you're gone.
10:54 You have to say something before you do that, Nick. Yeah. You got to say like Alakazoo and then you just disappear. I just do like I'm going to go for a drive. No. And I get my keys and I ████ No breaks allowed. I play Freeird, dude. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. And I go I play some Leonard Skard and I ████ take off. So then if if the girl says um yes, I want to talk about it right now. What's the next what's the I don't want to talk. You go. I'm not ready. I got a master. You talk about it. You say, "Okay, tell me what you tell me what's what's on your mind." And you work it out from there. But what if they keep talking? Can I talk? It's a good question. That's such a weird question. Really good question. That's a weird question. Cuz my goal is to get them to stop talking. So then if they keep talking, then I'm actually losing.
11:44 Yeah. And now he's having a bad day. I'm like, going to be like, "Why are you upset?" Yeah. And I'm like, "Joe, you talk a lot yourself, though." I know. But then that's easier cuz I don't mind listening to that. Well, I glad you don't mind listening to that. He's like, "My voice sounds great." I'm saying cool words. I've been doing this for 20 years. I know how to talk. Yeah. Yeah. My wife He's like, "My wife has a weird accent. It's better when I speak." Yeah. And she's talking about things I don't want to really listen to. Has Hannah ever has Hannah ever really like talked a long time? Oh, dude. She goes on ████ diet tribes, dude. There'll be times when like she'll start and then we're just going I'm just driving and I'm like that's dope. And then we're like 15 minutes in and I go and what about that? That was the only thing I said. And then I'm just like
12:39 yeah the whole time. Wow. She just goes off. She's just spitting. Huh? But like when she's mad at you and is explaining something, is that a long talk too? When she's mad at me and she's explaining stuff, it just sounds like, oh my god. And then I'm like, man, you're talking so fast. I don't know what's going on. Oh, it's fast. When you know when like girls are like mad and then they just they fire. I'm just like that's a whole different frequency that I don't know how to those I already already got lost with the first three words you said. When they go when they speak they they speak like they're angry and they go really fast. You just have to be like, "Can you just calm down for a little bit?" I think I think I'm mad at you now. Can you just like, by the way, guys, if you're watching this, rewind that. Watch it back. Play it three times. That's exactly what to do. Not to do this.
13:29 That will help you in your life, honestly. Cuz you got to Ladies love being put in their place as the as the alpha of the relationship. You got to be ladies just want you to listen, but you actually shouldn't listen. They want you to be dominant. You know what I mean? Like they don't want you. Shut up, ████ That's what you're doing. Assertive male. You just you just turn on Google Translate and then just start translating what she's saying and then show it and be like, "Look, this is how it is if you're Asian." And she'll laugh. She go, "That's ridiculous." She'll go, "Look at us. What are we doing?" I was being silly. You have to catch her right. That's what she does. Cuz you're unpredictable. You you know what's like actually really effective for me and me and Nina when we get into actual arguments is because like the emotions can't come out if we give each other space and then like I'll text her a that's cute. I'll text her and because when you have
14:19 to articulate through text it takes a lot of tone out and that's my her problem with me. It's not like that what I'm saying it's how I'm saying it. You deliver it with such meanness. I don't I just think she receives it with such meaning. Gaslight her. Go away. See, right now you just don't understand when I'm talking. You don't passionate. Get a man with some passion and you know director Anthony Lee voice comes out. Yeah. So, so then once the text comes out then same with her she gets so much more articulate through text because when we're just talking it's like the choice of words and articulation isn't there. You're just trying to like take space in that conversation. And so both of us just become better with explaining what we may have done wrong and apologizing. And then the next time we actually see each other, it's it's all the loveydovey stuff because we've already talked about. So we could just
15:09 be like, "Are you still mad at me?" And it's all good. I like that. That's really good. But that doesn't count if you're like if you look sexy, your fights don't count. Yeah. Yeah. She's already cuz she's horny. She looks She looks sexy all the time. If I was him, I'd win every fight. That's true. Not true. If I was five and 11, dude, I'm like, "Look, I can't have sex every 10 minutes." That's what I'd say. Yeah. You don't got a 3,000 exit in front of me. Jesus. He's like, "I'm still mad at you." You know? Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. We're going to talk about my feelings after this. You wronged to me earlier after you come again and again. I'm just texting. My thoughts out. You're just air dropping. No. Now, when me and Nikki have an actual argument, I always like it's good to just like, you know, let her talk first and then I just remind her. I'm like, you know why you're doing this? Because this is what your mother does.
16:03 You guys like, "Oh, you're right." And then she starts sucking my dick. No, she doesn't. No, she does. I swear to God. Guarantee she doesn't after that. That is ████ I swear to God. Hey, this guy's a king. He's a real king of this house. Telling you, I'm the alpha. Oh my god, dude. That's freaking vicious. Dude, Steve's got a lock, bro. You got to see him work. He's amazing, dude. Hey, you got one of these? Do you have one of these? So much conviction. No, guys. I swear on my life. God, you don't even know. Call Nikki up right now. Call her. Oh, wait. She's not picking up right now. There's some bad service in here. Wi-Fi down the dead honies. Oh my god. That's a rough one, dude. calling your calling Nikki uh Nikki's mom Junior. Yeah, I would Nikki mom. Yeah, I'd rather I see where these bad habits come from.
16:54 Yeah, you're just like your mom. That would be a real like if if someone said that to you. Oh, ████ that. I'd be so mad. Well, another good one is Man, you're intense. I think another good one is just be like, "Oh, I could see why your ex has left you." Oh my gosh. That's a really good one. You cannot You've never said that to someone. Or you go, do you do you want to be alone forever? Joe, you've never said that. Not making that concept. Wait, that's a real one? I think you Joe just put me in a NASA simulator and I'm going like, we're going to GeForce 9 right now. Crazy one, dude. That's a crazy one. That's a big one. That's a good one. Right. So, like I I got a lot of uh tools. There's too many G's. I'm about to pass out. I have a lot of tools in my bag and I haven't you I haven't had to use them
17:44 all yet. Did you ever say I can see why your dad wanted a son? Oh ████ No, I think as long as your voice is bigger and louder, you always win. Hands down. You out you out. First advice. You out. Yeah. To be fair, just so you know, out of all of our like wives or at least us because he's still being a good boy. I think only uh Tiff and Nina would be mad at us for these jokes. I think their girls would not be mad at them for saying this. You mean like this? Yeah. Like us joking around right now. Like you would get in trouble for this. You get in trouble. I think the same way that Tiff would be mad at you. Tiff Tiff wouldn't get mad at me for this. Oh, only you then. Only me. He's trying to bring him down with ████ Nikki was here. She would just be blowing me up the whole time about how I'm not this cool. Nick, that's the
18:35 craziest thing is that as hard as he goes, Nikki will go harder. She'll just No, she would just be destroying me. Like, you're not like that. You listen to me so much. Shut the ████ up. You're such a ████ All that, you know. She's very after this. I go home and I'll be texting with Nina. Like, hey, just so you know, there's a video about to come out. I just want you to know in the video we're joking. I swear. She's like, I can't believe you would say that on air. I'm really sorry. Can we please have sex? I'm really sorry. And she texts back, "We are We're already doing it." My dad never lost an argument because he would always throw the rice cooker. He would always rice. Wait, not the rice cooker. Smart with the cooking bowl in it. L. With the Yeah. Yeah. With a ladle. Yeah, cuz you could separate it and get two. Yeah. Yeah. I hope the rice was cooked because if it wasn't, that's a mess. Oh, yeah. Water, rice, just all over.
19:26 All the grains are individual. But if it's cooked, it's just a big mochi. That Yeah, but the Asian ones are very durable, though. They're very If your rice is too wet, if it's a moi, honestly, I was going to get really triggered right now if it wasn't cooked. Yeah, that's rough. But I'm sure that's great fully for him. ████ pick every grain. He's like, well, I should use that. Speed three. He's like, sweetheart, can you throw that again for me? You know why I had to throw the rice cooker, right? Wait, your dad really threw a rice cooker before. Dude, time's up, man. It's crazy.
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