0:00 thank you [Music] welcome back to care for boys we are very careful boys and today we have Cam we have Walter can you recently had an experience with what some call Ayahuasca it is what it's called I think everyone some call it that so what's up with what's up with it what's up what was your experience yeah what's up with it okay what drove you there and then what happened before you even started what compelled you to do such a thing first let's take it back to when I used to live with Joe you guys remember when I used to live with him in Whittier unfortunately was that a 2016 2017 yeah about so yeah so the timeline starts around 2016-2017. I was still kind of figuring everything out because like dance was kind of slowing down at the time and so I was a very in a like experimental phase of my life just trying acid trying
0:50 all this ████ right and then DMT kind of came into the loop to catch up Walter uh can used to be in a dance group called periodics they won which season on abdc's Best Dance Crew season five unlike hinges they actually won yeah that's all you gotta remember so he was like he was like Crush watching it and then I think he's trying to figure out like where he was going to take the next phase of his career because like dancing is pretty inconsistent anyway I was like in that phase of my life where I'm like yeah let's just do whatever you know figure out what I want to do and then I did DMT and then I tried that and that kind of made me experience what it was like to die but just for like five minutes what's the difference between the two because it seemed like they're interchangeable so it's the same chemical but uh DMT you smoke it right it's like a white powder you smoke it and then you just kind of sit there and then you go through the trip and then it ends in about like five minutes because your body breaks it down really it
1:42 metabolizes it super fast does it feel like five minutes no it feels like like kind of like longer so is it like Inception where you're in the world but then it was only like two minutes yeah it's like you're dreaming but then you wake up and you're like oh I'm back here you know when Ellen Page is stole a trick and so what I saw in that deal yeah dude she was I think anyway I just saw a lot of patterns like a lot of geometrical shapes and I was like okay that's kind of cool so this is what it's like to die and then after that I kind of just forgot about it and then later on I I heard about Ayahuasca and I was like what's that and it's basically DMT but it's two plants it's this Ayahuasca Vine which is the main thing and then this leaf and those two things go together to make this drink and instead of smoking it you're ingesting it and this time when you mix those two things together it actually slows down
2:33 the process of breaking down the DMT so it stays in your body way longer it's like for hours and so imagine like experiencing death and then like whatever it is that you go through because everyone's experience is a little different like imagine just experiencing what it's like to be dead and then waking up from that it was like the most trippiest thing but anyway you said like it's like experiencing death like so how do you know it's death like it's like do you also Envision someone strangling you or like it could be it could actually be like that so so here's all right let's just fast forward until I found a place where I could do um Ayahuasca like I found like one of those Retreat centers yeah it's like a retreat it's technically like ran by a church but you have to have that kind of legal you know setup is it Baptist or like no it's nothing where's it located
3:23 uh what's the ZIP code it's different every they hold it in different directions is it close to a chicken restaurant no it's out in the middle of nowhere anyway uh this one was in Temecula so it's next to a wine place actually yeah it did kind of look like that everything in Temecula is next to winery yeah and so it was a super beautiful Ranch you know and then everything was like super nice and we're just at this property that the Airbnb for this ceremony and then um there was a shaman there there was people assisting musicians there's just a bunch of people there just for healing or whatever purpose you know it could just be for like an experience or whatever for me it was for the experience because in my head I'm like well I don't know what I really need to heal from because I do know what my past traumas are or whatever growing up but let me just do this because it may
4:13 unlock even more that I'm not aware of like I might have something like blocking me that I don't even know and so when I did it the first day and this is a three-day ceremony oh you didn't want a dog you get ████ up for three days so yeah three times yeah I did it three times and in one night you could do two cups so it's like one cup is already a lot right anyway how many hours is it uh it depends it depends like the first night was like ████ like three four hours maybe five hours but it started like at 10 pm so imagine like you're supposed to be sleeping but you're like ████ going through this whole crazy thing it's because the shaman chooses when to do it because he he goes off of his intuition he's like okay with this group of people I'm gonna do it this time and then whatever feels right and the cool thing is he's the one that cooks the Ayahuasca like the drink and so he cooks it a little bit
5:03 different every time depending on how he's feeling and so it it's supposed to be intended to like uh for him to kind of heal certain people in a certain way for that specific night so even if you do it this night it's gonna be different the next night and the next night because I know some people come with something they want to work on yeah like for you for the experience but some people they go I have this purpose like either like uh my best buddy died in Afghanistan with me or like my my uncle like beat the crap out of me as a kid and I hate him I don't know or whatever like and they're trying to work on something yeah reject you sometimes if they feel like you're not ready because there's a screening process that you're supposed to fill out and I forgot what it's called but anyway you fill out this thing on the internet like a form and you have to list all your like medical history and all this on this because they don't want to be like they're like diabetes yeah because if you're like prone to like schizophrenia or like uh
5:54 psycho psychosis or anything like that like you don't they don't want to risk anything happening like if you're on meds for like you know that type of stuff and you go off of it and you're all ████ up you probably shouldn't be going to the ceremony this is this is like an option where it's more holistic where you feel like you've tried everything and you're like all right I'm gonna try this now you know where you're still kind of like I guess in in control of your own decisions because sometimes sometimes people are too far deep where they like they don't really know what's wrong and they've had people like that a ceremony where they would lie on their intake form and like oh I'm not on any medicine but then they are and so ████ happens right and the thing is like you're supposed to sign it and saying like this is truth so it's not their fault if you know something happens right because they're still grounded in the real world with legal Pro like yeah or whatever the interesting thing I learned about
6:44 Ayahuasca is it's I think uh the medicine itself is illegal for like to sell and to uh distribute or whatever right there's something legal behind it where I know DMT is illegal I'm mostly skipping this part of the video what what part of the Ayahuasca experience like opened up for you like like how do we get to the part where you get on it oh okay so first day you want to just tell you what yeah walk us through like take us through the portal yeah okay cool anyway so here's the part all right I sit down on my mat everybody's like legs side by side in this beautiful ranch we're just sitting there and then the shaman goes hey everyone you know this medicine is not a miracle all cure type of thing it's a tool for you to
7:34 heal yourself but the ultimate tool is you like you have to ultimately face your own ████ and deal with your own ████ the medicine just opens it up for you to see it like whether you want to walk through it or not it's up to you and then he prompts everybody and then um everybody goes up takes their cup drink it and then the cool thing is he's like um he does this thing where he blows into the cup his intentions for you so he's he looks in you in the eye and he goes okay and then he gives you the cup so it could be something like okay I want this person to like work on this or whatever whatever you don't know what his intentions are but whatever it is in there is what you're gonna feel that that's the crazy part to me so anyway I took the cup I sit down on my mat and I'm just like sitting there I'm like okay I don't see anything yet and then like about like maybe 10 15 minutes like things start getting a little wavy right
8:24 like any have you ever done psychedelics it gets like a little shroomy here yeah yeah but a little colorful yeah but just uh keep in mind this is night time it's like 10 p.m right now and and I'm just sitting in the dark you know it's outside the weather's perfect you're Outdoors yeah we're Outdoors you're under the stars yeah we're under the start it's ████ beautiful and then I sat there and then I'm like oh ████ like it's starting to really kick in and then I'm like you know what I'm just gonna lay down close my eyes and just experience it and next thing you know I start seeing the same ████ I saw on DMT when I was like oh there's a lot of fractals there's a lot of geometry and whatever and it's like super interesting like looking into a kaleidoscope almost basically yeah so that's like just the first layer and I every time I open my eyes I'm like dude this is not the same place I was at like when I closed my eyes it like it looked like completely different place so I'm like okay
9:15 something's definitely off here I'm just gonna experience it for whatever when you close you're laying down closing and then when you opened it every single time it was a different place no like I was still at the center or whatever it just looked so different like a different version of it I basically put on these lenses where it's like the same place but it's different your understanding of it's changed yeah like my reality of it is like starting to break like like the walls and stuff didn't look like this anymore it was something different because you're under like a hallucinogen you know what I mean so it's not gonna look the same but my awareness was still there I knew that this is just the medicine taking its effect right and then after like 30 minutes or an hour passed by me just kind of tripping out Shaman goes all right everybody second cup and I'm like oh ████ oh my God okay let's go and then I got up did the second one could you even walk when you got up or is it like
10:05 barely barely I was kind of like oh ████ like I'm still here I know I know where I'm at but it's like a little different now because I'm under the medicine and so when I got up did the same thing went back down and then you know wait a few minutes start to really kick in and then I was just like out and at this point without me like I just I'm unconscious holy ████ so the weird thing is in my head what I was experiencing was I'm laying down I'm going through this world of like just ████ like shapes right and then at some point all these shapes just break everything breaks and I'm just at this place where I'm like I don't know where the ████ I am it feels like hell or it feels like Purgatory or like some realm where like there's beings here that I don't even know what the ████ going on and then I'm just like super confused yes this is my favorite part what are
10:55 the beans look like I don't know it's like always constantly changing it's entities right and a lot of people claim they see these entities when they're on um Ayahuasca but for me I was just like ignoring it I'm like do you know that you're high or are you just like you know sometimes you're so deep in a dream you don't even realize you're in a dream until you wake up I knew the whole time I was in the dream yeah and I knew that like I'm supposed to be looking for something right because I'm like what am I healing from what am I doing here you know and the whole time I was doing that I was just going through like a bombard of like crazy sounds and sights and colors and like just ████ happening and then at some point I started seeing my memories like I basically jumped into my body from when I was younger and going through all that trauma reliving it and literally seeing it Replay in front of me but all at the same time which
11:45 because there was no sense of time it was just all happening what to deal with yeah and it was just showing me like oh you know how my parents used to fight or like uh relate relationship problems or whatever right and I'm just like damn this ████ is like super sad you know but then I'm just watching it happen right were you crying I think so here's the I'll get to that part later like everything that I was experiencing in that world was it seems so real but at the same time I was like okay what's next I just kept moving through it and at some point it felt like I was in it like at literal hell where I could hear like goats and like ████ the devil and like demons and all this like the worst ████ you could ever think of all right it's got Tom Brady talking to me I got ████ the devil and then yeah it's a nightmare for me and so like it literally felt like I was in this never-ending nightmare that wouldn't stop I was just thrown into it over and
12:36 over I'm like ████ what do I do I guess I'm you know whatever I'm just gonna let it be and then um I kept seeing like images of like some of my friends here and there right and whatever and the next thing you know I wake up is daytime and I'm like what the ████ I feel like you didn't even sleep like I literally felt like I was dreaming and awake the entire time in my mind and then I I go I'm just like sitting there I'm like what the ████ where am I like who am I like what's going on like because I was out of my body right and I came back and then I went to the restroom washed up and I was like as I was standing up I was like oh ████ like I have legs like it felt like that like it felt like I haven't been in my body in so long that I'm like trying to learn how to walk again whoa yeah and it was the morning it was the next day yeah and I was literally trying to figure out all right what am I doing
13:26 okay I need to go take a shower I need to go to the restroom whatever so I went over grabbed my stuff went into the shower and then my friend was checking up on me the one that invited me to the ceremony he was like hey how are you doing you good bro and I just looked at him I was like bro what the ████ happened and then he is like I'll tell you later so was he sober yeah he's one of the facilitators so he walks around and checks on people so there's a lot of people to check up well that's kind of cool you have like someone that yeah you're okay they make sure you're like you're not going through crazy ████ right and so he he tells me we have a conversation that day and he was telling me like bro you literally you got butt ████ dude that's crazy no like dude one guy was trying to troll me he was like bro like like you know your ████ dick was being sucked and ████ I was like bro don't ████ troll me like that because
14:16 dreadlocks at all so the ████ wait that didn't happen oh um all right sorry continue but like he's just this is what actually happened right so when I was on my mat tripping the ████ out and going through all this ████ what was really happening in reality was I was just laying there it's peacefully sleeping and and to me so internally you're crying and crazy ████ but in reality you're just like it's just like sleeping yeah and then and the crazy thing is apparently I threw up right and I was like when did that happen right like almost everyone's mat has like a bucket or something so I wasn't even conscious when I was throwing up and my friend was telling me uh he was telling me like yo bro you actually almost died in real life I was like how come he was like because one you were laying on your back and you and we noticed some stuff coming out of your mouth so I was vomiting like this and you're not supposed to do that because you're gonna ████ die right and so
15:08 they had to turn me onto my side to let all the vomit out and then uh this guy that was like a medic in the military he was like checking my pulse and guess where it was at it was at like 30 like almost like near death like it was super slow like he thought I was dying and then in my head like uh like I felt like I was alive or whatever I was going through my ████ but I was literally not in my body like my soul was not even there because my friend would be like I can't can't right and then I would my eyes would open and I would look at him and then just go right back to sleep I don't even remember that happening like I wasn't even there like my ████ body was just a vessel at that point right and so I was like how the ████ did it is this the same time when you died or is that another time so yeah that's the first time I died because you told me that you saw yourself die too so that's the third day here let me let me get to this so so all
15:59 right so that's why you don't explain Ayahuasca is for eight minutes at the top yeah anyway so that happened right second day I was already expecting like oh ████ I've got to make sure I sleep on my side this time so I don't ████ die or whatever have my throat bucket right here and whatever whatever and this time was completely different I took the cup and I was like aware and awake the entire time like my eyes were open like I couldn't even go to sleep and this was also at night time and I was like yo what the ████ this is like weird I'm not seeing ████ but I still feel it too and then I was like okay you know what I'm just gonna stay awake and experience the medicine while awake and everything was super beautiful like nothing was tripping me out like the music that they were playing was like super great I felt like I was at a free concert and and the night was great and the same goats that I was hearing in my other dream they
16:49 were actually real goats out there because it's a ranch and I was like and I was like I was like oh that's what I was was hearing oh and then and then when there was like coyotes and there was chickens there's so many animal noises I'm like oh my God that ████ explains the the hell that I was in I was actually hearing these sounds you know and and one of the worst sounds was like people vomiting like like and those were the demons those were the demons oh that's the trip yeah it is a trip but when I was awake for the entire thing I was smiling I was like oh ████ this is actually like crazy how the same medicine affected me super differently the second day yeah I was like wow this is so beautiful life is beautiful and I'm like oh yeah I get it now you know I'm in the moment and just enjoying it right third day I'm like okay cool I'll do it again like I already learned my lesson you know and I took it and I'm like okay cool everything gets super scary again and
17:39 I'm like wait what the ████ like how come I'm tripping out again and then this time I died again but this time I felt like I was actually like ████ passing away like I'm like oh ████ I can't move I'm like trying to fight death like that's what it felt like I'm like dude my body's not working what's going on were you yelling like help help yeah yeah yeah but nothing was actually happening it was like sleep paralysis almost where I noticed like my body just phasing like my vision just phase and I'm like oh ████ where am I going like like I'm sinking into the ground and these flies are all over my body and my skin is melting like I literally felt like I was dying like my body was just disintegrating and then after a while I was like you know what ████ it I'm just gonna die and then and then I let myself die you let go I like exactly save it for the Yelp review bro yeah I just let it go right and then as soon as I did that like my mind just transported to
18:30 all these ████ different places I kept seeing my friends I kept seeing all this ████ and then uh one cool thing to happen was I saw one of my friends he's like a former Buddhist monk I try to reach out to him in the spirit world I was like yo bro what's up you know whatever but then um trying to dab him up I didn't understand why it was him specifically that I saw but there's a reason why later so I woke up from that kind of nightmarish of me dying and then um took a second cup and then that second cup was like I was like ████ I really don't want to take because I just ████ died I don't want to do it again you know and then the shaman was like no you have to come like he picks certain people to take the second cup and there's a reason right and and my friend was like no just do it bro because I was fighting it I was like bro I just want to stay inside I want to do it again you know it's scary right and then he's just like trust me like when
19:20 he picks you you just have to go I'm like ████ okay I went up there he pours me like a big ass cup and I'm like bro no I'm not gonna take this ████ and then he's like I'm just kidding he poured it out he just gave me a little bit I'm like dude this guy's a ████ jokester bro and I'm like whatever and then I took it and the same thing happened with the second day where I was like oh ████ now I see why he made me take it again because it's like I have to learn to just not give a ████ and just go with it and go with the flow and Trust the process that's what they keep saying just trust him and then I once I did it was like my reward cup like everything was beautiful again everything was awesome again and it was the last day and I felt like super good and I was like damn what a ████ trip like I just went I just ████ died several times came back to life okay you know what I mean and it made me like go back
20:10 to my friends and go like oh ████ like I get it now like I get why I did this is for me to understand that like whatever I'm doing right now is like you just gotta trust it and don't even think about like fighting the process of things you know what I mean again like in your current life yes that's the lesson like are you gonna go on to Tony Robbins and got on that yeah but the thing is like I ████ experienced it and I never got to understand it until like you know you know the lessons right I know know these lessons already but when you experience it and relearn the lessons again and live through it it's so different it's like it sticks with you like way more and the cool thing is like this is the type of ████ that helps people with PTSD with depression with whatever whatever because it makes them want to live again you know what I mean because your mom said yeah yeah a lot of military guys they end up after
21:02 psychology all this stuff they go to Ayahuasca because they're just like I don't know what else to do yeah a lot of people talk about like uh like having an ego death did you experience that or what is it when I died I'm not literally dying it's my brain just shutting off like just trusting it the medicine just take over yeah and like I didn't feel the crazy part was when I died in my dream like I wasn't even me anymore like it was something completely I was just experienced something but it wasn't me anymore would you say like you had some crazy insecurities or like defense mechanisms that no longer exist in you anymore yeah is there something that you you didn't know you were going there for but you found out you were going there for it deeper than what you said already so one of the things was like my ex for example like I didn't
21:52 really think I was over the whole situation because I was with her for so long right and then when I was revisiting it again I came out of that trip going like man like I truly did love her and I'm ready to like just accept that and I'm never gonna hold anything against her anymore regardless of how I felt sorry after the breakup it's like good closure good moving on it felt like closure same thing family like I know we went through so much ████ but now it's like I came back home first thing I did hug my mom hug my dad because I'm so happy to be alive yeah but you don't hold on to the arguments in the trauma exactly and and from now on like I I try not to argue with them but at the same time now it's like cemented like I don't any small thing now is to me that's nothing bro like I'm not kind of give a ████ about that you've transcended in a way in a way but
22:43 at the same time just when I thought I learned my lesson of like oh yeah everything's great everything you got to remember it's like it the medicine just knocked me right back down I died again and I'm like like that's my other lesson too which is just when you think everything is good just remember like in the real world like anything could ████ happen at any time like just when you think you're good like just remember like ████ will happen and you gotta just take it you know Vietnamese Vietnamese okay so when you went home and you hugged your parents were they like what's going on yeah no no no they weren't they weren't they were why are you smell like vomit yeah no no um you know what the they're like did you ████ a shaman why do you smell like holy water no but yeah because like most Asian
23:34 parents like you know unless you regularly hug them they're gonna be like what's going on and then my next question was is like did you explain to them oh like I died several times no because they wouldn't get it but the cool thing was uh I did explain to them kind of what the retreat was about and my dad was completely interested in it and I was like yeah you know like they do this kind of medicine in the Amazon and it's like very helpful for whatever and I don't think they're ever gonna try it I don't think they really need to because already they're really spiritual people if this was in the Amazon no this was in Temecula oh no but normally started it helps you can pay attention to everything he's saying and not just but going back to Tony Robbins like this is a type of lesson you can learn with anything you can learn it with religion you can learn it through meditation you can learn it through you know going through a seminar but like for me I've
24:24 been through all this other ████ and and it's like I don't really find anything yet but when I went to this it's just like hit some yeah different things hit for different things for different people right how much does it cost uh it was like 850 for three days that's cheaper than Tony Robbins though yeah so when you if you get two is it like all included or are they like yeah they feed you you know but like do you think it's a premium yeah they charge you after a parking pass do I have to tip the guys when he's leaving they're like hey you know everyone got three but you got five so you gotta pay extra like than everyone else yeah so I'm the only one thinking that well there's like so he had more breakthroughs than me like what the ████ is going on yeah what the ████ I I he
25:17 got to ████ his girlfriend one more time which is kind of cool but you know that's pretty much like my experience in a nutshell there's like way more things that like were going on in my head but it's way too long for this video no that's tight it's a lot that's cool no honestly it's really cool that you can delete so much footage and then like still like find like find like an even ground okay you don't understand how bad I felt yesterday I love you buddy I love you I'm kidding that's another thing it's like just want to think oh yeah everything's going good and ████ this ████ happens I'm like why yep that's the medicine telling you is the medicine bringing back down to
26:07 earth it's humbling you bro just make sure you don't train Justin and Jason to delete the footage honestly and I'm not I'm not kidding right now this we we did this to you because we're we're gonna delete the food so you ████ learn you're about to learn a lesson we're just gonna delete your camera [Music]
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