0:00 thank you [Music] so let's talk about uh the poo poo let's talk about poo poo we it's not a JK day unless we have one video talking about some ████ poo poo what about poopoo actually you can talk about actual ████ or Putin yeah no actual ████ actual poo poo Okay an expert explains how often you should be pooing on a date what's the number well before we even get to that where's everybody where's everybody here I've read I ████ once a day times a day I'll tell you what what I'm a ████ expert Shakespeare because I've been skinny I've been fat I've been in the middle and I've tracked my calories so when I'm eating like what my maintenance calories are I usually ████ like once a day and they're like pretty small and
0:51 then when I started what do you mean when maintenance calories what is that so like what my body needs to survive okay so we gotta get the same okay gotcha most people eat more than what they need that's you so so you're once a day it's this baby so when I'm like going crazy when I'm going crazy I'll ████ like two three times a day wow and all of them are big because I'm eating way too much food that my body can't even process does diarrhea count um I don't get that that often okay because you're not eating crazy well I think my I have like iron guts like I could probably drink milk and drink vodka and it'll be like fine interesting yeah but you pass out in like three seconds I pass out but I could like I could probably eat someone else's throw up and I'll be fine how do you get to these places uh the voices [Laughter]
1:45 [Applause] everything he says is like like we like we should all just be normal with it like yeah yeah now you go yeah yeah exactly yeah it's so funny it's like we're with him so much that we're like yeah this is a normal bar ████ and then you're like dude this is not normal yeah and you're like oh yeah you're right I think that way too crazy but no so go back to the eating people set up thing so when I'm on a hardcore cut I'm literally ████ ████ acorns because your body's absorbing as much nutrients ████ push so hard and it's like is that constipation when you say you're on a hardcore cut in comparison to the other ones does that mean you're eating less than yeah so like let's say my calories my maintenance calories let's say it's like 2 000 or something right if I'm on a hardcore cut I'm only eating
2:35 like 12 to 1500 then I'm not eating enough food so like my body's absorbing as much of it as possible so everything that's coming out is a real biological waste when I was in a biological waste product when I was when I was a skinny little ████ um oh damn I weighed like 120 in high school okay and I and I didn't eat that in elementary school yeah I was I was hella skinny I was like 100 I was like 130. because you were a menace ████ adults but but um I I probably ████ like once every several days really yeah I probably didn't need it you were eating yeah but that was also when you were part of that religion no drugs the religion of drugs yeah I'll be like you know what I want to ████ get really ████ up today so I'm not gonna
3:25 eat wait doesn't cocaine make you ████ no it was ecstasy ████ like yeah XC makes his ████ one time in the beginning and it's glorious anyways carry on I never ████ on ecstasy you never did no everyone told me it's good but I never really it's like a thing people do when you ████ on ecstasy you want it to last forever really you wish the poop could just be like three feet long so it just keeps coming up like your eyes are in the back your head like oh that's the actual thing people do on XC and they like purposely well you don't time it but when it happens you're like I think I gotta go you're like happy about it you're like happy about it what is that character wait so what well okay wait so what's the normal amount answer the question two times twice is it like a morning and
4:16 a night yeah pretty much I'm once a day at around soon you'll see an empty chair from one of the videos yeah [Laughter] that's just because he's doing karate in the back he's doing orbs in there so he's like I gotta do a business call and he'll just leave for like I pee a lot oh I pee a lot and then um yeah they just did you get distracted in there yeah there might there might be a time where I pee and then in the middle I go you know what I haven't checked my body out in a minute so I ████ strip off my fry and I flex and I go still got it and we're just sitting here waiting for
5:07 him like all right get out here by six o'clock wait wait how many times like one or two I'm once a day now but growing up I was the same I was like once every two or three days yeah damn mine's once again is it like is it like clockwork for you guys around like for me it's around like 10 11. yeah usually in the morning yeah yeah it also yeah my eight in my ten o'clock yeah mine's like clockwork plus if you drink coffee like if I drink coffee that day then it's for sure that's the thing that ████ me up because like I wake up in the morning and then I'm like all right I need to poop and I'll sit on the can but it's not like ready because when you go from like bed to the can you haven't like really done some digestive work yeah and then I'll get up and then I'll like do stuff and drink some coffee and I'm like
5:58 ████ I gotta go again yeah oh you know what I have to prove sometimes too is like right after a meal and I'll start walking Yeah Boy gotta poop oh yeah immediately almost oh like you you can do the immediate like right after you eat my parents used to be like there's something wrong with you I mean it would like kind of scare me because like I would we would eat dinner as a family sometimes and then I'd be like I gotta go poop I would announce it obviously because that's what people do in families and then my dad be like there's something wrong with you you should not be pooping right after you eat so your food but that's normal a lot of my dad doesn't know what the ████ he's talking about where's your md ████ right you digested food that fast sometimes you should probably still full of jetting is it depending on what you eat though or is it like like if you had like a just a ████ I don't know like a piece of toast something with a lot of fiber whoa if I eat something with a lot of fiber
6:48 I'll I'll hold it a little bit longer it'll take a while which isn't normal right like okra you know what I'm saying okra ████ you ████ with okra yeah I mean fruits vegetables okra like yeah because it's slimy I don't know is that fiber or is that just slimy I do feel like I need more fiber in my life nowadays yeah it's really easy to go through like a normal Mega yeah and actually not get a lot of fiber well that's that's like a it's like a big thing like health-wise like you have to try to make sure you get enough like people like 90 of people don't get enough don't get enough fiber you know the most ancient like you know how they talk about paleo ████ right most like Hunter gathers and all the ancient ████ what they find in their bellies and if you look at like tribes today most of their diet is fiber it's not protein proteins ████ hard to catch so then most of it is like they're digging up Roots I thought protein was kind of everywhere
7:38 though not always man it's hard to hunt and catch it oh you got it you got to be skilled you gotta eat it right away too because it couldn't refrigerate so they didn't eat protein every single day but like you could get Roots you could dig up Roots you could find you know whatever the staple is for that tribe you know what's crazy the longest I went without ████ was like four straight days whoa because I was at because I was at surf camp when I was in seventh grade and the bathroom was so was so nasty the bathroom's so nasty I was afraid to use it so what did you do surfing ████ yeah well I just I stopped eating the meals at the camp and I would just eat like kitkats to like what yeah for four straight days that is the thing though when I was a boy scout and I was camping all the time too you would you would hold your ████ yeah and you would not want to ████ at the camp because it just wasn't a ████ toilet like you're used to all the time you have to poop outside
8:29 yeah so you would just be like I don't want a ████ today finally got home like from camp and I and I ████ it looked like I made a ████ Oscar award wow it's like perfect yeah yeah what's average the latest findings from one of these studies uh and uh from a guy named Dr Tim Spector well sounds like a villain's name no no right uh another guy that killed somebody my ████ this much he said that a pole a poll revealed that 55 of people relieved themselves once a day 32.4 go twice each day and around 10 poop three times a day uh and according to Dr Tim they're all relatively correct in in a sense and it's too inclusive I don't know yeah it's too inclusive anything what about people that don't ████ everything anything from three times a day to three
9:19 times a week is considered normal that's ████ everything then what the ████ three times a week some participants claim to be going five times a day and uh that's bragging that's bragging and some 10 inch dick too I bet yeah let's get those ████ yeah Mandingo over there with your five inch dick yeah yeah I bet you think you're so cool right you're a real hot shot huh I bet he has a 3.0 GPA 2.8 GPA and he says that some people go once a week so you know on the on the extreme but everything's like so five
10:09 times three times no that's an extreme sense whereas I know a skinny girl that goes once a week once a week yeah is she is she okay that's wild she's a food vlogger three times a day to three times a week and then she lays an egg she gives birth to a small baby damn dude oh I'd go crazy if it was just once a week yeah you'd be like something's wrong I'd feel clogged up yeah I'd be like yo I gotta ████ you get a potty Squad a potty squatty squatty squatty pie those are lit those actually work oh yeah those are pretty cool I don't know just it lifts up your legs so that the the way that your actual organs how do you try to get ████ up like a gynecologist yeah the toilet is like this delicious there's a Target you look like those
10:59 Olympic divers that are ████ yeah [Laughter] you see how I got there you see how I got there but it's more like this you're still sitting upright but it lift your legs up this way yeah and that's not making it too real now it's more natural position right and so what that you have to ████ you're sitting at an angle Vortex for your ████ down to release posted like a minor ████ intestines or some ████ and then get your sphincters all along I guess that's the correct ancient way people chat yes lubricant does it he does I'm sure he's
11:51 got a date yeah I'm sure he doesn't ████ at all he goes I take a nice five pound ████ every day does he yeah that's what he said that's what he says I don't know if that's true that's ████ huge that's really big that's throughout the day he said just once a day that's what he says with his five-inch dick [Music]
// end of tape