0:00 [Music] welcome back to another episode of careful boys we are currently off the record oh wow although everything we say will go on the record for anything that can be used against us in the court of law always interesting but that's why we're careful boys because we stay careful with what we say so welcome to exhibit a uh in light of all the news happening right now with amber heard and johnny depp rather than just regurgitate all the little details that have been popping up i thought it would be cool to just kind of share our own stories of abusive relationships that we might hey that would be cool that's a yay no you know what's crazy is like if you've been through one or seen some people close to
0:50 you do this ████ when you see amber heard in like johnny depp it's like that's like the ████ textbook dictionary example of exactly like the ████ that goes down you're just like holy ████ that's ████ nuts dude have you been through winnie everybody poops on their ex significant others no but like the ████ sabotage the lies the because like there's this one thing about um how have you heard about her her putting nail polish like in a nap yeah to act like she's bleeding ████ you ████ hit me so hard i'm bleeding ████ and it's like no no but then like those crazy like examples right yeah like i've seen that happen to people close to me and i'm like you need to get the ████ out and they're like i can't i'm scared like this one girl um in high school she was ████ nuts and they'll have an argument and then she just started like
1:40 turning ████ like turning on the lighter on their cigarette the cigarette lighter they started burning the car inside we're gonna burn i'm gonna burn us inside this whole thing the chick was doing that the she was doing it scared the dude yeah it's not a good way to burn a car though but then she's here she would also threaten like to tell all his boys all her friends that he's beating her because you know back in the day like guys if they heard that yeah they're like oh she did what and then they'll like ████ them up yeah and then so that's like that that made him scared to like i can't break up with her dude like every time like i try to say anything or whatever like i just i don't know man she's ████ nuts that's crazy in like the 90s and early 2000s the no one thought girls could lie so the minute a girl said one thing dudes got straight jumped by like eight
2:30 other dudes yeah it was crazy yeah this was just said in the 90s and 2000s girls couldn't lie that's the consensus at the time that same arrow girls never pooped or farted either for real nah i seen them ████ that's a late 2000's thing that's true though if a homegirl like in high school yeah if they were like man that guy you know you don't know like he beats me he ████ yells at me no questions asked they'll be like oh seriously all right ████ this ████ and then don't like tell other guys or whatever and then just ████ catch them and smack them up you know and then they think that they're gonna get the ████ now probably yeah of course probably gotta save her or it's just uh it's just the honor factor too like it might be someone's sister or whatever like and it's just like oh you just gotta do it and i'm like damn that's crazy because everybody just immediately went ████ this ████ let's kill him and
3:21 that's kind of how it happened with amber heard when she went with her expose everyone was like ████ johnny depp then you know i know there's i think there's something wired in guys to want to innately also protect not just want to ████ but also protect for some reason like this is like this is something we gotta do or everyone just automatically believes the female right away well i never think to to think that that's being done by someone who i consider as a friend like if i don't think girls are trying to manipulate me to think like you know uh uh let's use him to do violence on him because i just ████ mad at him like i never that's just too crazy to think did you guys immediately go like oh johnny depp ████ him i didn't really know because when it first came out i was like this is so weird because well what happens behind closed doors we all know like celebs and all that like who knows who they really are so it could happen but then at the same time it's like
4:13 when i mean celebrity ████ and crazy things that happen behind closed doors there's always so much stuff that goes down that it nothing surprises me anymore but also at that time right like so many others yeah high profile people were getting called out so like by the time and i'm not trying to say that i'm like so emotionally desensitized but you kind of get that way with social media just like throwing it down your ████ face right and it's just like oh johnny depp 2 it wasn't even like dude this guy you know it's not like a single moment right so i think um he was just in a laundry list of just another name but it was one of those like oh johnny depp really but other than that you don't think like amber must be lying you just don't think that i mean people like being surprised at certain
5:03 celebrities being abusive is kind of like wow of course like why would you there's some times where you guys ever had a friend like that was very like a personal friend that was like a super nice guy you would never imagine him doing that and then years later you know his girl and she goes oh dude that guy used to beat me up so i used to get hit like i i know people in my life that were like that i had no clue i don't know ████ about johnny depp i don't even know ████ about this guy i've seen relationships so we had a friend um i think she was like a little bit more independent at an earlier age so she had like an apartment by herself and she was like running her um parents like cabinet construction since she was in high school so like i was like a 17 or 18 year old like she already had like a three bedroom apartment so everyone of course is that's like the safe haven right like people go there to crash or whatever and then there was this couple that
5:54 would always go there and it was probably one of the most roller coastery um relationships i've ever seen oh that sounds fun yeah because it was it was both ways sometimes it's like like guy traps girl girl traps guy guy or girl wants to leave um they can't leave whatever this one was like fight both people throw ████ all over the house trashed her house um and then like one wants to leave it's not even her house i know that's the product sucks the other one wants to leave no come back whatever and then all of a sudden amongst the friends they're so good now they love each other then the next time they get into a fight in the car um the dude's driving and he goes if i can't have you then we both don't live and he crashes into a street light and um and then you're like okay for sure this time it's done because now the parents are involved they crashed her
6:44 car the car is done and then they're like they're back together again and it was just like almost every point where on my like i guess ruler of reason checklist i'm like oh i would have been out i would have been out i would have been out like seven times never been out and it was also so toxic to the point where you couldn't really go okay this person is slightly more evil than this person like bully victim you couldn't really find the bully victim relationship it was just like man both of these guys are either like perfect for each other or they're really bad for each other that was crazy there's an age due where you're just like dude i can't imagine my life without this person yeah and it's like such an emotional um and you say that with stitches on your face we can make it work you know you say that to the doctor in the er it's intense though like that i remember
7:34 being in high school and like getting like my first like serious girlfriend and just thinking having those thoughts of like i could never imagine my life without this chick and like you're just so emotional physical reaction almost sometimes oh just it was more just like you you just feel like um any argument you get in you feel like your heart's like gonna come out of your chest and like fall on the ground or something like it's a very intense time for you hormonally and ████ i think again i can super relate to to that too i think um you know like a lot of couples in in high school specifically you just want to experience all the highs and lows that you get into such a dramatic tumultuous ████ just to feel alive like in some of these scenarios and i was in a lot of ████ like that where i was in relationships where like my exes hit me with a car because she was like i'm out of here and i went no
8:25 and then i jumped in front of you you jumped into the car and like i'm jumping into it and she hit me with a car i've done like all that ████ just because like for some ████ weird reason it's like i wanted to understand what those like uh i guess what all of those spectrum of feelings are that you see so much in movies yeah and tv and ████ and it kind of like plagues you a little bit but i think you're like that's what passion is yeah cause you don't know any different right you just approach it from like a telenovela standpoint you're like dude that's probably how you do it but then uh when you get older and you're still doing that ████ that's where i'm like come on i was doing that a trial and error of like i don't know what's right yeah but it's like eventually you gotta reach a point yeah so guys should probably stop the plane huh i guess this is good it's gonna be hard but you gotta talk to homeland security
9:15 worth it though i'm trying to ████ suck her up in a turbine and ████ you know even even on lesser scales like i've definitely like had friends that have been in like long you know long relationships where they just like break up get back together break up gets back together there's times where you know they're like drunk and just yelling at each other like a girl just slap a dude in the face like hit me again i like seen this ████ you know like but i lived with people that do this and then the next day they're just ████ like cuddling on the couch and stuff and everything's great and you're just like are you talking about korean couples i i've you never come and vietnamese you never confront them like yo you guys might be cool but what about me ████ i just had to ████ witness your ████ now i'm traumatized from that ████ some people like doing that the collateral damage is crazy it's like they act like oh aren't you happy for us no you ████ live in your own goddamn bubble dude we all had to hear that ████
10:06 last night we had to ████ hang out with you for eight hours and like talk you through your relationship and now you're so much better because it's been 35 minutes yeah and now everybody else should feel relieved yeah just ████ chill out shut the ████ up and by the way who broke my favorite glass like i know why'd you smash my ming voz and they turn around and they turn around start giving you a relationship advice right oh my god what the ████ you guys last night was a nightmare now you guys don't get all figured out huh but i mean i could only imagine when it gets way more toxic or way more intense or different people had different upbringings and have been exposed to different things so they treat different situations differently because yeah when i when i do see things like the johnny depp and amber heard stuff me i'm like that's ████ crazy you know what i mean in the bed yeah slash like you're on like every ████ drug out there because maybe there's also accessibility
10:57 too right like if you have the ability whether it be the freedom to actually go you know on some sort of trip that has all these drugs and whatnot and then things kind of escalate and get out of get out of hand like that's a whole different realm a whole different tier of like toxic possibilities she's blowing 40 g's a month on wine dude that's isn't that crazy imagine what the pills and like all the ████ drugs and alcohol how can you even is she buying ████ the top notch top shelf craziest ████ about like 100k 130 racks and a month well for wine that's not even super super top wine gets so expensive oh really i think what you develop a palette where you only want good wine too that's yeah and she's probably buy that the way i buy chapstick or i buy like four at a time yeah that's what they said you're a baller though it's different four chapsticks one in my car because that's how bothered i am i don't like get one there's two on you i got one of my
11:47 backpacks one of my trucks i'm just gonna engineer you one where it's all connected and forward like this they just make one big one so he's constantly just yeah if you get through him that fast that'll probably be better for you i keep it everywhere i keep that that's that's how ballin i don't remember the last time i used a whole stick of chapstick dude it's always like a quarter and i ████ disappear you always lose it i find it melted in the dryer the son of a ████ i got that idea from diddy because he uh shout out to diddy because one time he was talking about how he only buys six cds at a time and then they're like wait why he goes i'm not gonna take the same cd from my car into my house into whatever so i just buy it so it's in everything i gotta go bankrupt by diddy and i was like damn that's cool we're talking about cds and then ████ chapsticks i'm fun balling like that that's true bro well i do the same thing with phone chargers
12:37 i have one in the car i have one by the bed i have one in my backpack it's so weird but those break like crazy too so you know they're perishable did any of you guys have uh were your parents like a good role model in terms of like romantic relationships or did any of them were any of them toxic that should be you know what my this is what blows my mind because usually like violent dads right they beat the ████ out of their wives their whole family right i've only seen my mom smack my dad and he was always sweet to her wow yeah so then when he gets smacked what was it like was he like he just excused himself or they were fighting in the car and then she just wham smacks him in his face and then i was in the back seat and i said stop the fighting yeah and then they stopped like a unicef representative yeah and then i felt brave because i was
13:28 like oh ████ that stopped it yeah i don't know i was a little kid back then but then i was like crying in the car and i was like you gotta stop fighting there's too much fighting in this ████ house um but then he just went red face and he just like he just he was quiet he was just quiet he was just like completely just still but i never seen him beat her up or anything like that um and then like they would be pda but then it would gross me out when i was a kid so i was like uh no and i would make them stop and ████ and then so they could make you happy dude yeah they would be private with their pda afterwards but yeah that's why you broke them up huh probably that's like broken oh me man my parents when i was taika's age the ████ blocked my dad the most like clear memory i have of like a big fight was um yeah i was like three or four and
14:18 like they were getting ████ pissed and then i saw my dad throw a apple um i was too young to remember if it was at her or if it was just at the wall like out of anger like an apple laptop no like apple fruit juicy like a caramel green apple yeah a candied and then candied apples and i remember just crying like i didn't even i didn't know how to register like our little like family pot having that kind of anger or whatever and i just was like like frozen and i didn't even know really know how to like process that time was crazy you know what um i remember i was i was talking to my friends about this whole like like you know parents like fighting and ████ right and they're all like yeah man like they're all bonding over there like dad's beating their moms and ████ and i'm all like damn that's ████ up right and then i told him my story i was like yeah man my mom she slapped my dad and then there they started clowning me and
15:09 they're like that's cause our dad's not a ████ and i'm like wait what that's the right answer the asian kings of comedy our dad doesn't take ████ from our mom dude yeah he ends it she starts it he ends it yeah that's a real guy right there that was the moment when i realized man my friends are ████ stupid dude dude you want to know ████ uh that's also why people with trauma they connect well too and then sometimes it pulls each other down because there's not another person to come and elevate you know it's like both of them are like nah we like it when our dads beat our moms and they normalize it because what else yeah and then it's a vicious cycle because then they start beating their girls because they they think that's normal they think that's how life is supposed to be you're a man like my dad beat me very cool yeah it went from like oh man he ████ beats her that's just scary and this is that and then i was like oh what my mom
16:00 sh she hit my dad but not that not the other way around he didn't do ████ they're like oh cause he's a ████ he didn't do nothing back and i was like why is that something you're proud of now i didn't give you a complex growing up you're like damn my dad's a ████ dog no i thought they were ████ crazy [Laughter] who the ████ turns it around and wants their dad to ████ up good thing you were smart yeah because some kids would be like dude my dad is a ████ because with that mob mentality and like those are your closest yeah it's really easy to be like oh ████ and it's easy to go back home and like dad hit her back defend yourself i'm not going to say anything go ahead next time your mom slides to dad it's just like hey my friends think you're a ████ because you don't hit her back don't stand up to this woman you let her hit you like that disrespect you i think there's like a strange complex that uh i feel like i had this
16:50 and if there's other guys that have this uh definitely check yourself um i never hit a single like girl that i've been with like i've always had a code of like that's just not what you do and i think like um in my mind it was like if you're hitting your girl then you've entered a lower class so then i was just like it's just not you know like as much as you're fighting you just never get to that point but what i think sounds funny however kicking is not hitting that's right yeah flash kicking is not included suplex is a wee-wee back now you're two females and it's okay i have a good loophole i think if you're like a young person like for me i was like 16 17 and and i think like at a young age when i'm like yeah i i never hit my girl i think that
17:40 gave me a form of elitism in my brain where i said okay yeah i'm never gonna physically hit you and it gave me a weird point of pride but i'm gonna mentally ████ with you so far to get that like so healthy it's because i didn't i didn't take care of the source of aggression yeah i just channeled it through other means like i'm not going to punch you so you got to clap back and make another one like hell you know like and that's i used to do that i'm going to close the cell door on your ass oh ████ you got to just go with flinching you just got to do one of these sometimes that's crazy like if any i think like if any guy's like man i don't hit my girl like that's for wimps or whatever it's like dude make sure you know that you're not you know exerting that through some other form of torture because that's when you know that's when guys get so used to like mentally abusing or verbally abusing which is just as bad
18:30 yeah while they're doing it they're like it's always a thing of at least i'm not sucking in the face like this dude or at least i'm not like a good guy yeah good guy tm yeah that's that i remember dude i remember being such an immature little ████ but um my big move was like oh well i'm breaking up with you and it's like you know what i mean like that that whole like you're never you're never gonna feel comfortable in our relationship because i'll just break up with you every time i disagree with you yeah yeah holding you hostage right yeah yeah and then it's like and then it's like yeah all right well we're back together it's fine you know what i mean like you just once you get what you want it doesn't mean anything it doesn't mean yeah it doesn't mean anything but that is another form of of doing that for sure i would also agree with ryan like i think um same thing right we just have that code where it's like you won't physically abuse a girl but then like you're like the worst tendencies i've ever had in relationships was verbal abuse you
19:21 know what i mean because i was the only way to get that same aggression out and and feel some some piece of ████ like concept of controller power you know to me or defense in your mind so you know like needing to get checked about like that as well has been something that like i i remember still even like still stuff i gotta like work on you know because when you get angry you just you get loud because you don't want to break ████ because you think that that's your your way of control but at the end of the day you still get angry you know so you still gotta yeah like you said work on like that aggression i didn't even know verbal abuse was a thing yeah it's one of those things where what do you mean you're just so used to it i think i didn't even know sexual abuse was a thing either not like if if you like if you hear the word it just sounds like made up yeah like it is like how is that abuse right like yeah how can you hurt someone because it when i heard the word
20:12 i was like i only know of like abuse in the physical form i didn't know there were other kinds and then how do you even mark bart verbally visits me every day here yeah but that's a love it's because we grew up with the sticks and stones saying you know what i mean like it's it's hard to like look at verbal dicks and sounds may break my bones but verbal abuse sucks worse yeah but it's a concept that it's like you think it's out of bounds or you're allowed to do it yeah because you don't think that it's harmful or it's not a thing until you realize how much it can damage someone then it's like yeah obviously that makes sense but if everyone's doing it then it's normalized and i think that's the thing like if you if you could think about what the hell amber heard had to go through like growing up what kind of childhood did she have to where she has to create this persona where she's never herself and then
21:03 she also thinks it's okay to ████ be completely abusive to all her partners that are madly in love with her so it's like what kind of i mean you know human grows up this way i think that's what i want to know because i'm like what did what happened in their childhood for them to become who they are it comes from somewhere right it usually is from childhood or it's like maybe maybe she was always like that and was never checked like super permissive parents because that can happen too it's like not always from trauma she gets gaslit she gaslights her parents and ████ yeah and now she's just trying to be heard i hate that we have to end it here [Music]
21:56 [Applause] [Music] you
// end of tape