0:00 [Music] Okay, I'm going to show you guys a video. >> God damn. >> And you tell me what you guys think. >> I don't know if I'm going to actually post this because this is super vulnerable for me and I'm a pretty open person, but earlier this year, I told my husband I wanted a divorce. And this would probably shock a lot of my friends and my family because I hadn't told anybody. Okay, >> so do it on social media. I walked myself through the logistics of where would I live, how would we split the time with the kids, >> who gets the dog, where all of those things, okay? Had a full breakdown. I feel like I have been searching for something in my relationship that we don't have for the whole time we've been married, which has been 10 years. I
0:53 there is not a single thing about my husband in and of himself that I do not love. Let me be very clear about that. He is the most self-disciplined, loyal, hardworking, good person, >> but divorce in many ways >> that you could meet on this planet. >> And that is probably the reason that is the reason why I have not left. Okay. our relationship and what my expectations are for my marriage and what they always happen are not met right which I don't know if anybody's are >> the reason that pushed me to even bring up divorce and talk about it >> was the fact that I feel like I don't
1:43 I can't be myself with my husband and it's really confusing because I'm 32 years old. I am a mom of three and I still don't know who I am. So, for me to be like, "Oh, I can't be myself or you don't love me for who I am." isn't really fair because I don't know who I am. >> So, >> so you don't want to hear from that guy. >> Wait, is that the end of what she's >> Yeah, that's the end of what she's talking about. Yeah. >> There you go, guys. I think she doesn't even know what the ████ she's talking about. >> So perfect. What's weird to me is um she keeps debating with herself or making excuses and like so we don't really get to hear her true thoughts. >> Yeah. She sounds fickle. >> She's it's it sounds like you know he's a perfect man. Everyone can ask for but
2:33 like I just it's he's not meeting my needs but I don't know what my needs are but my needs are I haven't developed it yet. >> Yeah. >> And it's like >> 23 >> like huh? She sounds like she's a 19-year-old, dude. >> She's been married. >> She's 32. She's 32. >> But they've been married for for 10 years. >> That's So she's she's been married since she was like 22. >> Damn, dude. I get it. I get when people are like, "Oh, this person's perfect, but I don't have those feelings for them." But then being married that ████ long and not figuring >> having three kids with them and everything's fine. >> Yeah, that's You ████ up. >> She got to go to therapy herself. >> And then and then poor guy. >> Poor guy, man. Doing all the right things. I feel like people are so easy to divorce these days cuz I'm like I'm just not in love anymore and then you divorce and I'm like why the ████ did you have kids?
3:23 >> Yeah. >> So you cuz I don't know. I think for me maybe I'm just oldfashioned or whatever but to me like once you're at that point you have children you're building a family. It's not really about being madly in love. There's so many other factors that you have to be responsible for. What about the kids living in a stable home? You guys aren't in an abusive situation where it's beating the ████ out of you every day. You just don't feel it. I mean, that's to me is so irresponsible >> cuz I just feel like yeah, that's fine if as if you don't want to be together. Uh but you have three kids. >> I feel like this ████ is just on social media, dude. and she's she's looking at other people and going like that looks like so much better. And then when she looks at her situation, she's like, he's really great. There's not a thing I don't love about him, but there's something missing that I'm seeing over
4:13 there. >> And she said it. She said expectations. It's not matching up to my expectations. And what gets what's ruins your expectations more than anything? Social media. >> It just sucks to ████ over those kids, man. >> That's what I'm saying. >> Yeah, that's what sucks. >> It's the ultimate selfish move. You ever hear people talk about like marriage and they always say like a good marriage should actually reflect more of a a really good friendship than anything else? Like the romance will come and go and all that, but like you have to be a team and you have to kind of be more best friends with each other than anything. >> Family building, right? Like so like >> so like you're not just a a young like couple that's just ████ around and like all you care about is how you feel for each other. So at that stage, you're trying to build like like a life together. And I think building a life and like a team behind
5:04 that is so different from like you're just a couple and you're not married. >> Mhm. >> So that for her like thinking all about her own selfish needs >> for kids for three kids, >> dude. I'm like, what the ████ That's crazy. >> She's trying to destabilize everything. >> Yeah. She's going to have a divorce and just like just because she just doesn't feel like it. >> Yeah. >> And I'm like that's like the stupidest reason. >> And on top of that, she's posting on social media. >> Yeah. So her family doesn't even know. Everyone ████ knows this before her family. >> Well, maybe she maybe she told her family, but at the >> She's blowing it all up. >> No, she said that it's going to come as a >> Oh, right. She did say. >> Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. >> That's like the worst thing. >> So, she's just ruining everything. >> She's like mad into herself. >> That's what it is. It sounds like she just want to be social media fans. >> Can't get past her nose, dude. >> Just wants to have something to tell
5:54 everybody. Shut up. >> They should go to coup's therapy. >> Yeah, >> they should talk to this. What's in it for this guy? Cuz I guess he's I guess it's to save his family, right? So, but if you're him and she's she sits you down and says all this and she's like, "You're just so great." And like I just don't there's something in me that's missing. I I don't even know what to do there. It's like >> I'm ████ taking the kids. I'm never seeing you again. That's what I >> go to therapy. I guess >> you would try to work it out, but it's like >> But she already made her mind. >> She wants a divorce, right? So that's ████ up because she didn't even give him that opportunity to be like, I'm going through some ████ right now. I don't know if it's temporary or whatever. Like she already made the marriage and him the reason that that she's unhappy. >> Exactly. >> And I'm like, that is the most ████ cuz he didn't do anything wrong. He's been a great person just just doing his ████ >> Her words. >> Yeah. >> It's not his words. >> Exactly. >> It's a grasses greener situation for sure. But I mean, I get if she's not
6:44 excited and thinks that her expectation of marriage was that she would keep being excited all the ████ time. >> You know what I mean? Cuz there are boring perfect guys out there in the world. And if you married one of them, that's on ████ you. You got to be exciting then. >> But then also, it's on you to ████ state your needs. >> Yo, I need if we're going to be like this, this is our life. I would like to do more of this or whatever. >> But she doesn't even know what her needs are. That's the problem is, you know, she just she's it's like asking her what to eat. She probably like, "I don't want anything, but I'm hungry. >> I want to eat. Going to order now, but I don't know where from." >> Did you know that a court order can force your VPN to hand over your traffic log? >> Oh, no. Everyone's going to find out that I've been downloading MP3s. That's because most VPNs are not truly
7:34 private at all. They can still see your browsing history, but not VP.NET. Their hardware physically separates your identity from your browsing history, which makes it impossible for them to log what you're doing. >> Mhm. So, for the truly private internet experience, sign up to vp.net/jk newsws. That's vp.nne/jknws. That's right. And the link is in the description box below. You could just click it right there, baby. But sometimes, but maybe it is one of those things where like what you said earlier in another video where it's like you just got to figure out for yourself. Go be single. Go live your life by yourself. You see if it's better, you know? >> Yeah. Just having kids is a is a automatic times up. Like you you're done. It's not your life is about them
8:24 forever until they're out of the house. Like you can resume this ████ when they're in college or move out. >> I think that's fine. >> Damn, dude. They're kids. >> Just wait till they're adults. >> Yeah. >> And then >> unless you have three iPads. >> Yeah. then you're actually probably pretty good >> with long battery. >> Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Cuz then they could just hang out on the iPads all the time. They don't have to worry about their mom and dad and stuff. >> I just don't understand like how you can put your own romantic needs over your children cuz that's just the most craziest thing that I see people do today where I'm like, "Yeah, it's important to want love." And you're human, too. But like once there's other priorities, like those things kind of take a backseat. Subie, if your chick said something like this to you, cuz you're the only one here with the kid, >> what's what's your what's your thought process? >> Uh, just just honestly just try to figure out what do we need to do to fix
9:14 it. But obviously, she's mentally just that's what she wants. I usually I'm really good about giving what she wants. If that's what you want, >> if she wanted a divorce, >> but that's unsexy to act like that to her. >> But no, but see, but that's the thing. >> Fight for her, dude. What I'm saying is if she wants a divorce, obviously I would have I would try and work it out. Like why? Okay, let's not do this. Let's think about a kid. >> Oh, like you try to keep her not work out the divorce. Yeah, >> I'll keep it. But but at the end, >> get a good lawyer. >> At the end of the day, if she still wants that, then I'm going to give it to her. >> Damn. >> I'm going be like, "Okay, but I'm but I'm not going to be not fight for it. I'm going still fight for her. Are you sure?" I'm going to be like, "You sure you want this ████ cuz I don't think it's this is even a good idea. But most importantly, I'm going to be like, you're going to make a big mistake. But if that's her ultimate goal and me knowing that's what she wants for a long
10:05 time, then okay. >> I'd be shocked at how stupid they were cuz I was like, I married a ████ dumbass. I can't believe it. This reminds me of the girls like when I when I was in high school like I think you can excuse this cuz girls are always like I want to find myself and they like go to Santa Barbara for like a couple like a month or something and like you know they go to city college over there or something and then the they like have all these like thoughts about traveling and maybe they go you know they go to Palm Springs or something and stay exotic a motel. Yeah. Yeah. But you know what I mean like they just or even the girls who take a year off of college and I'm going to go find myself. I'm going to go to Europe and then come home and then still say I haven't found myself. >> But I think >> you went on vacation. >> You're younger. You don't have kids. >> I think you're right though. Um >> it's the lack of excitement. >> So like maybe the combination of looking
10:55 at other people looking like they have a great life on social media. She's like, if you think about it, right, like you're just a mother raising children and you're just like, oh, I'm still young and I want to live. M >> but then she just feels trapped and ████ and it's like well grow the ████ up. You signed up for it. You can't go back. >> But it's also hard because they want all of this but we have to work ████ hard to even be stable. Plus her husband's probably working like a mad dog. You know what I mean? Three kids and she's chilling. Like of course the husband can't give you all that time to travel and ████ cuz the husband's working ████ all ████ day making sure you can pay the bills and everything she probably wants. The husband's probably taking care of it. >> I know someone who um left a stable house to have an affair and and like and
11:45 then Yeah. and chose love and and all that, right? That ████ ended hella quick. Like >> those always end quick. >> Yeah. Well, cuz like after a year or whatever, the the loser guy that she's with can't hold down a ████ job. >> Um, can't, you know, she ends up having to work really hard and be the bread winner. Um, got with the younger guy or whatever, but he's like now her like baby boy, right? Whereas like before, she had everything set like solid dude. Like she was stay-at-home mom, like didn't have to pay for ████ you know? But she just was lacking excitement. Mhm. >> So like >> Kate wins on Titanic, too. She gets with Leonardo DiCaprio. He's like a little ████ chimney sweep or something. And >> yeah, that's the fallacy to me. >> Guess what? He's dead. >> I understand when women are like, I want that excitement. But it to me it sounds
12:36 the same. Like I think it's ████ when women are like, I want a guy who's funny and makes me laugh. You make him laugh. What the ████ That's easy for me to say cuz I have someone who's ████ funny as ████ But like it reminds me of that ████ It's like what excitement you're missing. You were supposed to provide that too. >> Like you can't expect a dude to be this ████ Indiana Jones taking you around the world. Like your ████ has to be exciting. You can't always be this like >> entertain me, make me love you. Like that's ████ >> Especially with marriage. I heard another really good quote about it too. It's like >> if you want you you want your husband to serve you 100%. Part of a good relationship is you serving your husband like another 100% too. Like it goes both ways. Like that's how it becomes a fulfilling relationship when both you guys are serving each other. It's not like what I get out of it. It's like your your job is to support and serve your partner. >> I will say I love making Nikki eggs, but
13:26 if she ever makes me eggs, I'm like, >> I'm good. >> No thanks. >> They don't come out right. How does she How do you like your eggs? >> I like them over easy. But she does it great, too. It's just I feel guilty. I'm like, I should have made these. >> Wow. What a cuck. What a cuck thing to say. Ke Steve >> ████ with a cucky monster. >> I just don't I'm just like why'd you do that for me? ain't to do anything. >> I'd rather Yeah, I'd rather just do it. >> ████ that. I love when my wife cooks. That ████ fire. >> But my wife cooks dinner. It's different. But if she's making me breakfast, I'm like, >> I could do that. >> Really? What's up with the breakfast, not the dinner? That's funny. >> Or or I have I have a I have a theory. Maybe you just like it better when you do it. >> I think you're probably right. >> Cuz I like my eggs a very particular way and only I can achieve that. >> Only me can >> maximum estrogen. >> Dude, why douse mine in pepper, kid? Yeah. >> Yeah. >> No, no. I have something else to say. I
14:16 have something else to say.
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